SCARFACE the grade school play..

I kept thinking he'd let one slip and the parents would gasp in horror (you know some would cheer though). Then I remembered he's so young he probably doesn't even know any swear words yet.

I was in charge of lights and recording our school plays in high school. Now if only I could find that video of some admin making an absolute cock of himself doing the chicken dance one year.

 

Oh how times have changed...

The only play that I was ever in was 'A Christmas Carol' in 3rd or 4th grade.
I played the ghost of Christmas present. If only they would of let me be a kick-ass ghost with ninja skills or something, then maybe I would of continued on an acting path on up into middle school and high school.

 

The only thing that I have ever been in was in grades kindergarten through sixth. They made us sing Christmas songs every year in front of the parents. God I hated that. I always had to stand right in front because I was always the smallest kid.

 

Yea, I was the lead Video person for my 3 years of high school. Let's see if I remember: Guys and Dolls, Fiddler on the Roof... drawing a blank on the grade 10 one. Anywho, I know I have some old video of a certain admin on one of my externals.... I love this thread.

EDIT: Looks like I can't find it after all...

 

I wasn't in a play, but I wrote one in 4th grade--a gripping yarn about a bunch of latchkey kids who go outside to play kickball, fall asleep, then it snows and they wake up bionic.

Side note: this reminds me of Rushmore when they do the Apocalypse Now play.

Or: "The killing has got to stop, esse. It's getting too loco. No more gats."

 

I've designed the sets for about a dozen plays, including Our Town, Charles Dicken's A Christmas Carol, Picnic, Beethoven's Opera Fedelio (which was an extraordinary pain in the ass) and The Hard Stuff, etc. The band Sevendust asked me to design a set for their Home Tour back in 1999, but alas they went with something more stripped-down (I fashioned it after their Denial video). Why did I leave the world of theatre? Because practically every single person I've encountered in theatre is a former wounded nerd that's now a pompous, black turtleneck-sporting fucktard. Hasta La Bye-Bye.

I've acted in three plays: One was the same Christmas Carol play I made the set for (I played Charles Dicken's brother, Scrooge's nephew and the Ghost of the Future), the other two I won't mention because they're stupid unknown public school plays and they sucked.

Focus: Awesome, indeed. The popcorn was the clincher.

 

Haha, is that a fucking blind kid at the end?

Who wants to bet that the drama department saw so many cut backs, somebody finally just went, "Fuck it, we're gonna do Scarface! With popcorn coke, slutty dressed elementary school girls, and blind kids!" I can't wait to see their rendition of Deliverance.

 

I take it you've never seen Scarface?

I'd love to know where this play went down. I can't even imagine the shit storm that would have ensued at my suburban elemtary schools PTA meetings had we done something like this...the violence and the "fudgers" and the cocain popcorn. And by "we" I mean the kids that were involved in plays and other school related activities - not me.

 

I got to be the AV kid in grade 6. My school was putting up the biggest, most bad ass play they could possibly afford for the class of whatever-fucking-year-I-graduated-from-Grade-6. Which included decent costumes, a decent set and a super, deluxe AV/lights set. I got to be the kid who made sure all the mics worked and I also ran the lights. Which I got to setup and also program on the massive control panel. I probably spent a good eight to ten hours working on that shit, which was impressive considering my rampant ADD.

I don't remember what the play was about, it's really not important, the only thing that really matters is I won it.

I've also never done something like that since.

 

I got to play the Fox in our kindergarten version of The Little Red Hen. My job was to sneak in when the hen is arguing with everyone and steal all her bread. The rush was so good, I decided to be a villain when I grew up.

I also once played in the orchestra for a play. On one song, my only job was to hit the cowbell twice during this one girl's solo. Every single time I fucked it up and hit the cowbell when there was supposed to be dead silence for dramatic pause. I like to think everyone appreciated my cowbell solo, but who knows?

 

Since I was the most gifted actress of my grade two class the role of Lawn Ornament 2 was bestowed upon me. I nailed it.

In high school I did hair and make-up for one play. The drama teacher that year was unbelievable cunty, so I opted not to be associated with drama anymore. Also somewhat related, I was in Improv Club for a couple years. Our team was called 'A squared + b squared = your mom.'

 

I did Dick in a Box with a friend (complete with singing, music, the suits and boxes) for a crowd of 800. Problem is, I went to Catholic school - a strict one. I got into a lot of trouble, since I was in charge of the Talent Night I kinda surprised the school with my act. Totally worth it.

 

My claim to fame was during my last quarter senior year I took part in a German play in a series of short plays put on by the language department and got 5 credits for just over half a quarter's work.

It was called "The Traveling Student from Paradise" About a sneaky student traveling from Paris who happens upon a woman and he introduces himself as a person from Paris, but the stupid woman, hears "Paradise" and sends the guy off with food and money for her dead first husband. I played the second husband, have a couple of awesome monologues, then chase after the student on my horse, who tricks me into giving him the horse, and I go home to the wife, and yell at her more because I am an idiot too.

The highlight though was the girl who played my wife was hot, and had no qualms about stripping down in the changing room.

 

Hello, my name is deltabelle, and I am a reformed theater nerd.

We did plays every year in elementary school. They were required, and they were horrible, but I was obsessed. Since we didn't have a drama department past the elementary level, any other plays were done through our community theater. I started out as a chorus member in The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, and then started auditioning for bigger parts. I was in The Sound of Music, which is actually where I had my first kiss ever, onstage, with a man twice my age (I was 14 playing Liesl, he was a 28 year old Rolfe, it was weird). I was Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, and then was also in Anything Goes. I loved it, and it really did help me in things outside of the theater. I can memorize huge chunks of text, which was really helpful when I would write papers in lit classes in college, and speech class was a breeze for me. I also got really good at interacting with people of all ages because of the performances being community wide- The Wizard of Oz had a cast that spanned from a bunch of 6 year old munchkins to a 81 year old nearly deaf Uncle Henry. I quit doing the plays only because suddenly everyone who had acted in a play decided they should direct plays and the whole thing became a catfighting clusterfuck.

Oh- the other upside? All the costumes are mine. I have two Dorothy costumes hanging around somewhere. The boyfriend keeps telling me that one year for Halloween I'm going as Dorothy and he'll go as a tornado and just beat the shit out of me in public.

 

I was lead role in It's a Wonderful Life and Twelve Angry Men (the latter should have been titled Three Angry Men and Nine Irate Bitches, due to glut of tragically unattractive female thespians and one ex-girlfriend. To this day I can't watch IAWL, having had to memorize all several hundred lines. Yeah, I didn't get laid in high school.

I didn't snag lead for Arsenic and Old Lace my junior year, but I did at least get to be a villain (Boris Karloff's character, I forget the name, doesn't matter). All well and good except that on the final night one of the Irate Bitches' fat turd brother who played a cop (no nepotism there) didn't know how to pull a punch and actually cracked me over the head with a night stick. I'm told on the video someone shot of the show you can actually pinpoint the moment when I make the conscious decision to maintain composure and not shove that nightstick so far up his ass he'd become a conehead.

 

Firstly, that video is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. I know I should be outraged because I'm a mom of a kid around that age and maybe I will be when I stop laughing.

Alt Focus: I am a failed actress. Back when African Americans were still black I played the lead in the the Black History Month plays in high school. It was my consolation prize as I was rejected from the the leads in big spring musicals because I wouldn't make a "credible" Sandy Dumbrowski or Hope Harcourt. I still love theatre but after a couple of pretty big rejections in college I moved on from trying to make a career at it.

 

Then you'll be happy to know that it wasn't actually a school play:

http://www.snopes.com/photos/arts/scarface.asp



My thespian career didn't extend beyond grade school, but I displayed my acting chops with stirring portrayals of a frog and rain. Yes, rain. You think that's easy? You think just anyone can pull off the subtleties of gently falling precipitation? I was rain, and I was a good rain, dammit.

The apex of my career came when I was able to both write and act in a play in 5th grade. The topic of the play was - Arbor Day. Myself and 3 co-writers explored the theme of planting trees. I was a lead in the play, and missed my cue for my big line. Since I can't sing, dance, or even act particularly well, the Arbor Day play was my swan song.

 

I was thinking about how hilarious this video is, and how embarrassing it would be later for these kids in life.

Then it occurred to me that I did something similar. I read a book in middle school called "The Expendables" or some such. And part of the project was to make a movie production showing one of the scenes. So cue me, 4 of my friends traipsing through the woods making a production with one of those 40 pound cameras that needs a shoulder pad.


The embarrassing part is that it was a book about Vietnam. So the film is about 12 year-olds in camouflage (read dark green sweat pants and shirt) with black painted wood cutouts of rifles pretend playing war in serious faces.

I know where this VHS tape is 24 hours a day. I won't say its hidden, but definitely hard to get to.