FOCUS: It's your official Royal Wedding Thread 2011! Kate and Wills have been going out for about 10 years now, starting when William was about 19, with a short break in 2007. I'm fairly certain he has had the chance to...meet...other girls, but 10 years is a goddamn long time. I'm a little concerned for William that he has one-itis, but I guess it's too late now. They seem like a cute couple, anyway, so I hope it works out. As a bonus, somebody apparently likes to fuck with the Prince, because he was named Baron Carrickfergus (as well as the Duke of Cambridge and some other things). I thought this was somebody trolling Wikipedia but apparently it's true. Royalty are weird.
As I posted in the R&R thread, I'm up with my GF watching it right now. I suggested we drink a shot for every minute Diana is late. She wasn't amused.
She's hot, but he's still retarded. I mean shit, any chick you have to date for ten years to decide you want to marry isn't gonna be up to snuff. Harry has the right idea; get stoned throughout college, join the army, kill some people, fuck some hookers etc etc. My kind of guy.
Sadly all the power in Britain cannot restore Prince William's hairline. Somewhere, Ron Howard is sympathizing. Prince Philip is looking fantastic for 90.
Why should anybody under the age of 75 give a shit out about this, or a monarchy in gerneral? In the end. it's just a family who's bloodline used to like decapitating their wives when they got sick of them. Monarchies are stupid and useless. That ex-supermodel Prince Charles has been waiting for his mom to die so he could have the throne for so long, his fucking MISTRESS has been senior citizen for more than half a decade. Why does the job of a monarchy entail that you keep it until you literally die? Can't Queen E II just hang it up, put on a housecoat n' slippers and fall asleep in front of the golf channel every night like a normal well-past-her-prime old person? Maybe she should be spending more time with those Nazi grandchildren of hers.
I was getting all girly (I'm over it now) in the R&R thread and missed this one. Her sister, Whateverhernameis, is rocking the shit out of her Maid of Honour gown (and given the theme, you all should respectfully use the Queen's English). That little imp Harry (rawr), stole a peek back and told Willie how hot his bride looked. This is just one more reason to heart the second son. Who would want the stupid throne anyway? Everybody looked so collected until the vows. They both looked scared shitless. Nice to see they may just have red blood in their veins, not blue as widely reported. Edit to respond to the naysayers: It's not about giving a flying fuck about the Royals. It's about watching a spectacle. Pomp and circumstance as they say. It's about the dress, the guestlist, a peek into a strange world. It's about being voyeurs, along with 2 billion of the other great unwashed of the world. And hell, I'm up anyway and I've already masturbated (thanks again for that link in the porn thread Parker), so that leaves this or Sudoku.
I'm not too bothered by the wedding it has given 2 4 day weekends in a row, so I don't understand how anyone can be annoyed about it.
Excellent speech by the Bishop of London. He seems like a cool dude. William and Kate need to smile more.
I am actually a sucker for big world events like this. You're only here a very short period of time and it's nice to be witness, along with a good majority of people on the planet earth, to something bigger than life that is once in a while positive. Outside of major world wide sporting events what captivates an entire globe? Natural disasters, war, shit getting wrecked for this or that, etc. Maybe I am a little bit of a romantic but I think it's a breath of fresh air. Fuck the naysayers and the usual tired arguments about royalty and "bigger" issues that could be getting more attention. I couldn't find a station carrying it here but I caught the vows streaming as best I could. I saw a shot of what I think was the maid of honor, smoking. fucking. hot. Prince Harry didn't look comfortable at all being there, but when has a red head ever been comfortable anywhere that a soul is required, amiright folks?
The mass is sleep-inducing. Even the shiny new married couple are nearly dozing off. Time for a bubble bath and pick this up on their way out.
EDIT: Bah, I shouldn't bother. Facebook updates from my so-called "friends" going nuts over a marriage that has NO bearing on their lives has gotten the better of me.
I'm toasting Gen'l Washington and the Continental Army, who fought for eight years so we 'Muricans can ignore the shit out of George III's inbred heirs.
I dunno. I think it'll be interesting to observe the effect of having someone who's actually British in the British Royal Family. I think she could let Charles assume the throne, but I'm pretty sure she's trying to beat Victoria for longest reigning female monarch. So, another four years of Bess before Charles can step up. Unless Charles is planning something sinister.......
William is personally worth somewhere in the neighborhood of $20-30 million. His family is arguably the most famous one in the world. They hold no political sway, but I'm confident they have favors and powerful allies throughout the business and royal world. They are the top landowners in the UK outside of the government. AAAAALLLLLLLLL that influence and they couldn't buy the boy some GODDAMN PLUGS. Or a hat. Just give him a fancy fuckin' hat for a few hours, for the photo session at least. Top of his skull looks like a collection of tater tots. His hair looks like a bird nest that got AIDS. You half expect the wisps that remain to band together as tumbleweeds and blow off on a dry, windy day. Donald Trump has a better haircut. The gal is inimitably gorgeous though.
If I was a millionaire Duke I might not give a damn about what random people think of my haircut either.
Dude, Kate's whole family is smoking. Also, the Space Shuttle is launching today. They should have flown the royal couple over to Florida, and then launched them into space as a grand finale.