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Rollerballs? I barely saw her face!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by downndirty, Jul 12, 2012.

  1. downndirty

    downndirty
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    Focus: How would you change your favorite sport? What would you add or take away to make the games better?

    I would never watch Nascar in it's current form, but if those guys came out to race in a bunch of off-the-lot Ford Focuses and Chevy Impalas, in a weird sort of slow-race, driver chess match, demolition derby, I might be entertained. Also, baseball should allow the first and third basemen to punch a guy in the mouth instead of tagging him out with the ball.
     
    #1 downndirty, Jul 12, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  2. Noland

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    Baseball:

    No more drug testing of any kind. Meth heads on the field is the only possible way to redeem that tedious and useless "sport".
     
  3. lhprop1

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    Rugby:

    Get rid of the stupid engage sequence that they currently use for the scrums. Scrums were safer 20 years ago when the hooker called the engage or when the ref gave the 2 count sequence.

    Allow players to use the boots again. Up until 5 or 6 years ago, the players self-policed a lot of the dirty play that happened out of view of the referee. A new push by the IRB to "keep rugby clean" (their slogan) and do away with using your cleats on a downed opponent or punching a guy who is breaking the rules has slowed down the game considerably. The ref now has to blow his stupid little whistle every time someone's laying near the ruck or playing the ball on the ground instead of letting play go on while your fist or cleats could just as easily be used to gently remind your opponent not to do that shit.

    Trys worth 6 points, penalty kicks worth 2 points. It will create more daring play and make it so that players like Jonny Wilkinson and Francois Steyn aren't so valuable.
     
  4. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    Soccer: You want to flop? We'll give you something to flop around about. I'm thinking something along the lines of the old trap doors in the colosseum that unleashed starving, pissed off tigers.
     
  5. Juice

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    Soccer: Along the same line, no more yellow or red cards-- it's full contact. That way the game doesn't stop every time some pantywaist wants to puss out and fake another injury.

    Football: Before any kick, the kicker has to do a cartwheel in the middle of the field. Football games are broadcast on only one channel and Tony Danza does all of the announcing by himself.

    "Ay yo Angela..."
     
  6. katokoch

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    Track and Field: All track event participants must select a blunt weapon out of a big pile of 'em prior to the race and you are disqualified if it is unused during the race.

    Biathlon: Targets are now placed on each other's racing suits. Ski fast and shoot faster.
     
  7. Veovis

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    Dear sir you just needed to ask.

    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.pentictonspeedway.com/HitToPassrules.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.pentictonspeedway.com/HitToPassrules.html</a>

    Short story is, cars you are required to hit someone before you can pass. Allowed vehicles include "Any 2 wheel drive passenger vehicle, sedan, coupe, fastback, or station wagon."
     
  8. Rob4Broncos

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    Football:

    All defensive backs must be replaced with velociraptors, and all cheerleading squads must perform in the nude.

    God knows that if I knew how to use Photoshop, I'd have simply uploaded a picture instead of describing it.
     
  9. Aetius

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    Soccer: 9 v 9 with additional subs per side. Gametape is reviewed after the game by league officials, and blatant dives are punished with suspensions (I believe MLS already does this). Instead of a shootout, ties are settled by trading off set pieces. A set piece consists of 6 attackers vs 6 defenders (plus goalie) and begins when the ball is put into play (attacking team has choice of corners or a free kick from 40 yards out). It ends when the ball is knocked out of bounds or cleared past half by either team.
     
  10. LessTalk MoreStab

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    All sports could be improved with more swords and higher body counts. Especially netball.
     
  11. BeCoolBitch_BeCool

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    Soccer: Get rid of the offsides rule. Also, no players over the height of 4'10".
     
  12. Pow

    Pow
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    Football:
    Between plays maximum of 10 seconds. Motherfucks better run. Also, spinning leg sweeps are legal. Hockey style fights allowed, while standing.

    Baseball:
    Steroids encouraged. Balls are bigger. Get a double out for knocking a player over with a thrown ball. Hockey style fights allowed, while standing.

    MMA:
    Pussy wrestlers are picked off ground after 45 seconds. Choke him out or get up and make blood. spinning leg sweeps worth points.

    Soccer:
    Field is a lot shorter. Less players. Rules against defense sitting near goal ala basketball. Hockey style fights allowed, while standing.
     
  13. scootah

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    I don't really consider any form of racing a sport that people would watch for entertainment. I understand that some of you do watch racing, but as far as I'm concerned you're either doing it as pennance or you're not actually people.

    Pretty much any other sport? Drug testing is no longer a concern. Juice to your heart's content. If you want to kill yourself to be a monster, that's your decision. Any team official who pressures an athlete to juice, or knows of any other team official pressuring an athlete to juice and fails to report gets a length jail sentence, no option to avoid jail by paying a fine.

    I'd probably also introduce some kind of quasi socialism program where 60% of any and all gross revenue directed toward professional athletics be directed to anti-discrimination and open source medical research programs. Just so that I could know that misogynistic homophobes with HGH imbalances and excellent hand eye coordination were genuinely contributing to something worth while, instead of being more highly valued by our society than cancer researchers.
     
  14. KIMaster

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    MMA-

    So easy. Allow downward elbow strikes, elbows and punches to the back of the head, and knees and kicks to a downed opponent.

    Tired of boring wrestlers laying on their opponents and getting into the four point position (or "fetal position", if we want to be more descriptive) whenever they get in trouble in the stand-up? Don't blame them; they're simply taking advantage of the rules.

    When a wrestler is hurt, he gets on his hands and knees and tucks his head down. In a normal fight, this would get him killed. In an MMA bout, it's his best defense, since he can no longer be kicked, kneed, and he is only exposing the back of his head, which is off-limits.

    The wrestler is only susceptible to awkward punches and someone taking his back and going for a rear naked choke. Which is obviously bad, but way better than an instant KO. Also, having the opponent take his back can frequently be defended against, especially if the opponent is inferior on the ground.

    Meanwhile, a wrestler can shoot in for takedowns all day long and rarely gets punished for it.

    In addition to avoiding kicks and knees by being on his knees after being stuffed, the wrestler doesn't have to worry about the two main defenses to a takedown.

    A standard single/double leg around the hips is countered by an elbow straight down to the back of the exposed wrestler's head. An ankle pick is countered by by a punch straight down to the same area.

    Now, these changes would NOT eliminate wrestling from being a very viable and effective martial art. None of what I wrote above will successfully counter a Greco throw, any number of hip tosses, a powerful clinch, etc.

    Takedowns would still be enormously popular and effective. HOWEVER, there would be an actual counter to them, and they would carry a certain amount of risk.

    It would make the strategy and practice of MMA vastly more exciting. As it is, the top athletes in the sport have figured out the basis for the ideal strategy long ago. Shoot in for takedowns again and again, and get in the fetal position if you're in trouble.

    Why don't we see this basic rule change, something that even Big John McCarthy has said for years he would like to see legalized? It would make the sport "too brutal".
     
  15. Puffman

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    Bullfighting. If it is the bloodless variety then let the bulls fight more than once. It is amazing how much they learn after the first match.

    For the regular bullfight, well let the bull have a practice round first so he learns what is going on.
     
  16. BrianH

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    ALL American Professional Sports:

    The NFL, NBA, MLB, and NHL would all follow the lead of British Premier League Soccer, in that the bottom 4 teams of each league (2 from each conference) would be demoted to a minor league. The top 4 teams from the minor league would then be promoted up.

    When that happens, the salaries of the top team players are immediately locked into the minor league caps, regardless of contract. 25MM for 5 years? Well, good thing you got that first 5MM, because now you can only get 125K. Also, all relegated players must play in the minor league for a year, regardless of their free agent status.

    All city franchises would field three teams per large stadium.

    All leagues would have a salary cap on their Premier team.

    I would LOVE to watch crappy teams get moved out, and the players whine and beg when they can't pay off their mansions. They'd play a lot harder, too, and cheap minor league championship games would become INFINITELY more fun to watch.
     
  17. Firefnd1982

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    Here ya go, its pretty basic but its early and i am lazy... (also no go on the nude cheerleaders. I tried, however every time i tried to add them, I would *ahem* get distracted)

    [​IMG]
     
  18. lust4life

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    Overtime is replaced in all sports with a delegate from each team engaging in a quick "round" of Russian Roulette. Sudden death, indeed. Use deathrow inmates as the team delegates to make it seem sort of moral.
     
  19. CharlesJohnson

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    Expanding on this, they torture that bull before the big, brave torero in his silk, grape smuggling onesie comes to dazzle the crowd with his choreography. They all cheer when those horns miss him by 'nths of an inch. Oh, what a fine example of machismo. Pathetic.

    Hey, pussy, let's see you do that when the bull hasn't been lanced repeatedly for the past 20 minutes. Let's see those awesome veronicas and lithe movements when Mr. Bull doesn't have 6 javelins stuck in the hump of his back. Get in the ring when that 2000 pound sucker is pissed off and hasn't been tired down from goring horses. THAT is something I'd pay to see. That is a fair fight. Rodeo clowns have more balls.

    When the torero dies, let's turn him into stew. Absorb his power.
     
  20. Angel_1756

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    Y'all are ridiculous.

    Women's Beach Volleyball.
    It's very simple. The women play naked. And if you miss a shot, your entire team must stop play and take fifteen minutes to eat out the players on the opposing team.