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Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by mrwarden, May 20, 2010.
Focus: Add to the list.
Nonchalant drug addictions.
Dunking a basketball.
How the hell does "eat more meat" make you cooler? Do you just kill a cow with your own hands and then right there and then eat a side of it?
For the girls:
Be easy and learn good BJ techniques. The football team will appreciate it and in return tell everyone, making you popular and cool.
Wear chick jeans
Get into MMA
Pretend to like shitty music to get girls
Coffee-can muffler, primered "ground effects," and a big wing on my Civic.
Speak as little as possible.
Walk away from explosions.
Moderate a forum full of idiots.
Big League Chew
Candy (Everybody likes Candy)
10 speed Huffy Bicycle
Motor Oil Stains
Castle Greyskull Playset
A nice smile
Remote control dog
Lots of batteries
$25 gift card to Bennigans
Hacksaw Jim Duggan poster
Mariah Carey's Christmas Album
Boomerang covered in Glitter
Real World Audition Tape
Robot from Rocky IV
"The Last Dragon" DVD
Backyard Zip Line to/from Tree Fort
Lasers (REAL ones)
Be good at art
Be good at making out and/or fingering
The ability to raise both eyebrows independently
Phone shaped like a football
Get a free boat.
Rings with skulls on them
Fake reading glasses
Belt buckle with UK/Texas flag
Arguing with security guards
Swiffer wet jet
Hiding hickey with turtle neck
Going through McDonald's drive-thru in convertible.
Doing it late night, when other fast food restaurants are closed.
Having a black person and a Asian in the car.
Giving girls back massages
KFC Big Bucket
Rock-em Sock-em Robots
Black belt in karate
Join the debate team.
Wait. I think I'm doing this wrong.
Pretend to not like Styx.
Pretend to like Styx.
-Listen to heavy metal
-Pick fights with people weaker than you
-Say things that are funny when other people say them on TV, like "I'm Rick James, bitch!"
-Memorize obscure trivia, like who played drums in Pink Floyd or the five ways to reach first base without hitting the ball.
-Drink. A LOT.
-Blow off work and take a lot of drugs instead. Write a book about it, and be known as the voice of a generation.
-Don't do your homework
-Do your homework, and sell it to rich dumb kids
-Tip people without looking at the money
-Find out whatever the fuck kids are doing these days, then do it. (Twitter? Rainbow parties? Bulimia? Heroin? Jazz music?)
-Say "aaaaaayyyyyy" while wearing a leather jacket and giving the thumbs up
-But don't jump over a shark on waterskis. That's fucking stupid.
I could do this forever...
Yelling profanities at people from your car
Kiai martial arts: Chi always defeats the foot-fist way (no, it doesn't).
Popped Collars: "Ladies, one at a time!"
J-Lo sunglasses (indoors, for men only)
Impersonate Arnold Schwarzenegger
Doing push-ups in between beer funnels
Puff Daddy/Diddy whatever the FUCK his name is tomorrow
Flat-ironing your hair and you have a dick
T-Pain and Lil' Wayne music/T-shirts
Forcing your 4 year old daughter into beauty pageants and warping her
Wearing those middle-eastern scarfs around your neck when you're as white as snow
Tattooing your last name on your body
Crushing beer cans against your head
Wearing Chuck Taylors and you're less than 25 years old
Any band that doesn't play guitar solos and/or wears sweater vests
Fedoras. Fucking BAD ASS.
Kanye's Inuit glasses
Bitching and making excuses at your friend for beating you at a video game
Pretending to read James Joyce in a bar
Iron Maiden T-Shirts, and you can't name more than 5 Iron Maiden songs.
Blazers over hoodies. Just throw on a condom now and save yourself some time, stud.
Affliction T-Shirts, of course.
This is pretty easy. Just do everything in slow motion.
Ugh, tried to put the Dave Chappelle video in here of him doing everything in slow motion, but I failed. You know what I'm talking about though.
Obviously anything 80's related is cool again.
(I'm hesitant to use the word "again" when nothing from the 80's was ever cool to begin with)
oversized t-shirt "repping" a band, gang, and/or petitioning to get someone out of prison
get mentioned in rap lyrics
full name consisting of one word or several syllables
one word name based upon an animal and/or sound
sleep with Tucker Max
get away with murder in a public fashion
sleep with your female high school teacher
do anything with your bare hands that would normally require a machine
repetition of the word "dude"
wearing a retro sports jersey
Air Force 1s
displaying stolen goods in a public manner
"stealing" road signs (sometimes they're just asking for it)
having a "hookup" with a cop
having a "hookup" with a judge
high alcohol tolerance
the ability to "crush" or "pound" beers
fast beer chugging abilities
drinking an "old school" alcoholic beverage (such as OE, Thunderbird, Boones, MD 20/20) when you are of age
and financial ability to afford otherwise
friends with a strong black guy
friends with a bouncer at a popular bar/club (related to above)
choke hold skills
hilarity of facebook status updates
raised, old, loud pickup truck
ability to memorize and subsequently rap lyrics
tendency to buy/give others free booze
ability to tell a funny story
larger-than-normal size of penis
lawyer (mutually exclusive to above)
posting boobs and/or ass on internet
Sideburns are the physical manifestation of power.
Only Root for teams from L.A. or New York
Throwing turtles like frisbees
"Accidently" bumping into your boyfriend when he's drinking with his friends
Tears for Fears: Songs from the Big Chair on vinyl (which I actually have)
XXXL White t-shirts
Angrily throwing shoulders into skinny guys at the bar
Workin' on that screenplay, bro!
Tying a cherry stem into a knot with your tongue (dudes only)
Devastating Dave: The Turntable Slave
Grillz, for when braces don't get you enough pussy.
Wailing leads, killer riffs, soaring harmonics, smooth licks and galloping chops.
Bermuda shorts, Black socks & flip-flops. Steamy stuff!
Aiming your stereo speakers out your window in broad daylight
Fixing your tranny in the front yard
Interrupting dice games with spontaneous breakdancing
Ice cubes in the shape of naked chicks
R.C. Cola spiked with Thunderbird
Oak Ridge Boys box set
Join Team Jacob/Edward
Play World of warcraft and join a guild (or Whatever you do in that game)
Don't Play World of warcraft and mock people who do
Watch UFC and beat up on people because you learn by seeing
Chinese symbol Tattoos
Gauge your ears
Become Raiders Fan
Get a Twitter Account
More Facebook friends and make sure to take care of that farm