There's Fringe, Supernatural and a Gifted Man on Fridays. And no $200 bar tab. And I'll wake up at 6 tomorrow morning with no headache or hangover and have more accomplished by 10 am than most will get done in a weekend. For me, there's not much to dislike. Though I a craving a Mountain Dew, but at this hour, not exactly a Nobel idea.
I'm guessing MasterChef has already had its season in the U.S.? I thought it was a pretty good show - not as long and drawn-out as the Australian one. There were some great recipes up there on it and some real kitchen creativity. The only poor thing was the censoring of foul language... I'd have liked to have heard Ramsay belittling the contestants. I haven't seen Fringe for a while. I hope our local cable has picked up the new season and not shifted it to satellite tv. So, who's up for a Hangout?
Buy 2 whiskey mixes at bar. Drink them too fast. Find bottle of whisky in studio. WHO NEEDS THE BAR ANYMORE
Hey fellow nerds. I need a slim and protective case for my iphone 4. Is lifeproof the best or can I find something better, cheaper? PS. Lindsay Lohan used to be hot. And this.
I actually started out the night with unsweet tea from McDonalds... then I proceeded to drink so much alcohol my neighbors passed out while I am relying on you fuckers for semi-intelligent dialogue for some discussion;.
I had an obnoxiously Brooklyn night tonight. I went to a 90s dance party in a bar that used to be a warehouse in a yet-to-be-gentrified rather industrial neighborhood. Everyone showed up dressed like they were way too cool for school and then, like, after two drinks or so everyone had zero shame about dancing to the surprisingly awesome DJ. Then it escalated really quickly into this giant, super-packed, writhing mass of dancing. Then I made out with two girls, danced until my boob popped out, and I accidentally got punched in the face. That's when I decided it was probably time to go home, even though it's early. I'm exhausted anyway. Also, the bottom of my feet are bleeding from my heels. Whatever. I had a fun night, and I deserved it after my first full week on the job in the communications department of Planned Parenthood coinciding with this Komen fiasco, and having to do a ton of verbal gymnastics to avoid right wing supporters calling in and trying to get us to say something that they could use out of context to be damning to the organization. My head hurts. I'm probably going to be hungover and have a black eye when I arrive for my tattoo appointment tomorrow. Probably going to be a good weekend, overall.
A buddy of mine from high school's sister just had a kid, making his famously MILF mom a GILF. I really want to point this out to him on his wall, but I can't work up the courage.
So, in a weekend that the Girlfriend and I have both had Bali Belly, me to the point of 2 hours sleep the following has happened: No electricity Friday night because the breaker box for our entire apartment complex got wet No water, because the pump ran dry during a rain storm, also Friday night. I got the "White People Pricing" by a local for dinner, which sent me into a blind murderous rage. Seriously, I hope that woman has vaginal cancer that looks like a microwaved octopus. I went to the gym for 25 minutes to burn off some steam/not shit pants while running full speed. I narrowly avoided failing at both of these goals, only to have it go from clear skies to torrential downpour in the 25 minutes I was there. I arrived home soaked to my shorts, and I can throw a rock from my apartment to my gym. Interrupted sex for mortal fear of gastrointestinal rebellion. No electricity AGAIN Saturday morning because the Goddamned holiday decorations caught on fire, and caused the power line to actually separate, which was loud, full of sparks and fire and took 4 hours to fix, at a time in which I am tethered to a bathroom. We went to a Sisha bar to wait for electricity to return and do unspeakable things to their bathroom, only to have their electricty go out as well, this time because the government wants us to "conserve energy". Also, I saw a new, yellow Lambourghini in front of the Indo equivalent to a Family Dollar. How microscopic would your penis have to be to import a half-million dollar sports car into a 3rd world country, with abysmal roads, gridlocked traffic and choked to the gills with motorbikes? Not to mention, how would you get the thing serviced or maintained? Why not buy a Toyota and feed some of the 200,000 or so children that are reported to be living at subsistence/starving here? And why are you shopping at a ghetto bodega? So many questions for such immense douchebaggery.
Holy hell. I woke up about two mornings ago to find that my laptop had performed an auto-update over night, and whatever the hell it did ended up frying the shit out of the thing. Now it won't load any profile past the welcome screen. I'm not the most computer-literate person on the planet, but I know how to do a few things (ie- do what Google tells me): Restored system to an earlier point- nothing. Started in safe mode and ran every single scan in existence- nothing. Gave up trying to recover, so I just wiped the fucker and sent it back to factory settings. NOW the mother fucker can't run without windows explorer crashing every minute or so. Any ideas before I take it out back and shoot it? The good news is that I'm a smart (lucky) asshole- about a month ago I had the foresight to buy an external hard drive to back up all of my music. The bad news is that I'm trying to load all of that on my spare laptop now, and apparently I have to re-organize every goddamn thing I ever did in iTunes all over again. Sooooo thats what THIS GUY has been doing for the past 2 hours or so. Oh well, at least I have a new toy to play with later. On a whim, I went and bought an Electric Smoker yesterday to do a brisket for tomorrow. I've never used one, and I'm not really experienced with normal charcoal smoking either. Should be fun.
Yoga pants are the wonderbras for asses. It's quite rare that they don't turn a regular, dump truck into a speedy, little race car that's loves to take fatigue corners. It's not that they're comfortable, it's that they're amazing to see.
My drinking got out of hand there for a while, so I imposed a 68 day sobriety period on my self. During that time I quit nicotine, I cooked almost all of my own food and I started exercising every day. I lost 30 pounds. Everyone told me about how awesome I looked. Physically I felt like a million bucks. Mentally it sucked. Hanging out with my friends that were drinking was no longer all that fun. I had the privilege of being the DD any time we went somewhere. Ever try to sit in a bar you really don't want to be in for four hours while you watch your friends do the activity you love so much? My friends stopped inviting me to do things I loved. I didn't get invited to golf tournaments, because there was usually an all you can drink thing attached to it. Eventually I just kind of stopped hanging out with them because everything they did centered around alcohol. Whatever activity was going on was secondary. Then I got depressed. My girlfriend was my only friend for the last month of it. I missed the shenanigans. I missed blowing off steam. I missed hanging around the pool drinking. I missed happy hour with people from work. It just began to suck. Now I am no longer in that forced period. I once again picked up the nicotine habit. This is something I absolutely hate. I put the weight back on. But I am having fun again. So that is nice. I realize it isn't going to be much longer before I need to quit forever. If you go out drinking until 3am it makes work at 8am the next day suck. And it affects my work performance. I can't have that. The best way to fix that is to cut out the booze completely. My girlfriend is getting ready to go back to school, we are going to move in together and I am going to take over the bulk of bills (so she won't have to work as much). I think I'm going to try sobriety again when this happens. People always say it's good to give yourself to a greater cause. Since I don't believe in God, and I love my girlfriend, I guess her furthering her education is going to be that cause. Wish me luck. Now that the above depressing story is over- I'm going to a fundraiser for kids with cancer today. They are giving me all you can drink beers, and all you can eat food from 30 different restaurants. It should be a good day! Why not just make this your signature? It seems to end every post you have made over the last month (which marks when you discovered the tool I assume).
Right now I am playing drinking games with a hipster wearing a chainmail tunic and a Mr Australia bodybuilding contestant. I'm so conflicted.
Unsweet tea is the only acceptable option, duh. I hate sweet tea. I'm off to be a body for someone testing out. Here goes 2+ hours of being clumsily poked and prodded while I silently wish they could just figure out what the fuck they're doing because IT'S NOT THAT DIFFICULT! It's a lot like high school.
Best game of Operation ever. If they find your clit does your nose light up? This study method is good practice if you ever date a necrophiliac.
I'd like everyone to take a moment and imagine what it would be like if you were CharlesJohnson's partner while the both of you were in medical school.
If I were his partner, we'd probably sneak in at night with hydraulics and motion sensors to rig the medical cadavers to pop up like Big Mouth Billy Bass and start singing "Tarzan Boy" every time a student walks by. I myself will have that done to my own corpse for my funeral, but instead will use this song: Spoiler