This might be going along with the Prankster of the Year thread, but have you ever gotten sweet revenge on someone? Have you slighted someone, only to be slapped down by the avenging hand of fate? Focus: Tell your revenge stories. Whether it happened to you or was done by you, we don't care, we want to hear about it. Don't forget to mention what caused it.
No, no, our favorite John-R.-Cash-avatar-having member isn't back, it's another pull from the archives. I'm not much for revenge. Once, however, there was this guy I was working with that had a project that was on the critical path of some stuff I was working on. I don't know what his problem was, probably a combination of competence and laziness issues. Anyway, I put off my own work as long as I could, and then I couldn't take it anymore. I came in over a weekend, took two days to do the thing he hadn't made any progress on in six months, and in one stroke made him unnecessary and therefore out of a job. I don't know if I should classify that as revenge, per se, or just collateral damage...
We do a lot of pranks at the station. There is the normal TP the chief's house, fork the yard... that's normal for us. I think the best one was after Christmas a few years ago we got all the Christmas trees the village collected (about 40) and propped them up in the Deputy Chiefs yard. The meanest, by far, was when we took turns misting the department assholes car with the hose over night. he had a good 3/4" of ice on it in the morning. (And yes we really do that stuff to the Chiefs, they take part in it too when we get someone else) For those that don't know what a forked yard is Spoiler
Oh, you guys are real crazy. Do you ever see who can say "meow" to the driver ten times, or put a bar of soap in the Rookie's coffee? I could do that. I'll call the guy a chickenfucker!
Some sort of parole violations for drugs if I remember correctly. Doh'! Looks like the judge had the last laugh there.
I had a roommate my freshman year of college who was a horrible person. She would stay out until 3 in the morning, and then forget her key and bang on the door until i let her in, she would invite the entire floor of girls into our room once a week to watch "The Hills" where all of these girls would destroy our tiny dorm room and she thought it was my job to clean up after them. She also complained that my hair was all over the room even though I had short hair and she had long. She collected a huge ball of hair and put it in my bed to "teach me a lesson". The final straw was the last day of that semester. I transferred schools for a series of reasons, which meant that while I had to get all of my stuff out of the room, hers stayed there. Knowing this, she made sure all of her stuff was scattered around the room right in my way. After moving everything she owned onto her bed, I sprinkled sugar into ever corner of the room (because she was always complaining about bugs), emptied an entire bottle of vanilla scented body spray under her bed (she hated the smell of vanilla, complaining that it gave her a headache, so I wasn't allowed to ever wear it), and put a huge ball of wet shower drain hair under her pillow (i used rubber gloves to get the hair out of 5 different showers.) The RA came in to inspect the room and didn't say anything about the smell. (She knew my roomie hated the smell of vanilla, but she also knew my roomie was a cunt, so she didn't care.)
As I posted before, I helped a friend get revenge on his roomate with the cruelest rude awakening prank ever: While he was passed out I filled a Jeri gas can with water, left some gas-soaked rags in his room for fumes, then we went in wearing black ski masks and woke him up by dumping the water of the gas on him. That's the sight he awoke too. First time I've seen an adult male piss their pants pants sober. I can barely get a bag of chips open half the time but I came up with that prank in five seconds flat. Again, I know it was cruel. But so is shaving a guy's fucking eyebrow off, which is what he did to my friend. Therefore, he deserved it. Gallows humour triumphs again.
Didn't happen to me but heard this story from a friend whose a police officer. More of a prank than a revenge story really. So during one summer some police officers who were supposed to spend the night driving around patrolling the streets, used to park their car, roll down the windows and fall asleep. After learning about this the officer in charge, used to drive to their location, sneak up to their cars, remove the key from the ignition and walk back to his car. Then he'd radio them telling there's been an emergency and to go to a certain location, etc etc. Of course they would panic and the officer would keep shouting that they have to get there asap. After pulling this prank quite a few times, news spread and hoping to teach this officer a lesson, one police officer pretended to be asleep and waited for the other officer to come steal his keys. When the other officer arrived and tried to steal the key, the officer in the car already having his gun drawn, pointed the gun to the other officer's nose and told him "give me back my keys".
Was she prettier than you? Focus: THE LEANER Take one heavy duty garbage bin and fill it half way up. Be sure to swish it around so that the water becomes garbage juice. Lean on any door that opens in and knock.
We did that only before we knocked on their door we filled a manilla envelope with the old style shaving foam and slide the open end underneath their door and stomped on it shooting the foam all over their room. Then knocked and greeted them with the leaner. We only did this once because of the destruction it caused though. One of the best leaners we did when we lived in the dorms was we took one of the huge community trashcans in the hallway, filled it to the top and got it so it was leaning from inside the elevator to the out and sent it down to the lobby. Also after our leaner phase, people would stop answering their door when they heard a knock so we started screwing L joints into peoples doors and frame locking them in their rooms.
Two summers ago I caught a buddy of mine cheating during our weekly Holdem game, so a week later I fucked his sister. I don't know if he knows, but it made me feel better.
Grandpa R-o-M: We used to do that with old album* covers. Then, we'd jam pennies between the metal door frame and metal door to keep them from getting out. *Before CD's and mp3's and what not, music used to be available on large vinyl discs also called records or LP's.
The Leaner is an effective way to spill a few gallons of water into a home. With the wheeled garbage can, you can turn that few into fifty:
My Dad is pretty damn awesome, and this is another time when he delivered the goods: Back in 1991, my Mom got a brand new car. It was parked in front of our house. A guy who lived across the street had a shitty remodeling company. He was doing some work on the same side of the street as ours, a few houses up. So, his illiterate, illegal immigrant workers decided one day to dump their left over stucco or plaster or whatever in the fucking gutter. It ran down the gutter, and got all over my Mom's new tires on her brand new car. Dad goes across the street and has a chat with the guy who owned the company. This man of Middle Eastern descent basically told him to fuck off. Now, Dad is 6'3", about 200 pounds. This guy is about 5'5", buck forty. I fully expected Dad to end his shit right there. Instead, he just says, "OK", and walks back over to our house. Fast forward about FOUR YEARS LATER. We're watching a Laker game, and around 11 p.m., Dad says, "I'll be right back." He gets up, goes out to the garage, gets about 4 gallons of paint, walks across the street, and pours it all over the guys' convertible BMW. He walks back home, puts the empty cans back in the garage, and watches the end of the game. He doesn't say a word. The next day, the guy comes out, sees his car, and freaks the fuck out. Calls the cops, and everything. I go outside and check out the commotion, and the guy says, "I don't know why anyone would do this to me!!" He totally forgot the stuff with my Mom's car. Dad said to me, "It's never too late to repay a debt."
Your mums car got fucking PLASTER on her tyres? Which would literally rub off the next time she drove it and so he pours paint all over and likely inside his BMW? Your dads a fuckin' jerk. FOCUS: When our friend was passed out drunk we slipped a tomato into his pocket and then when he awoke we asked him if he had all his things on him, he slapped his legs to check for phone and wallet and made a sticky mess inside his pockets which was hilarious when he couldn't understand why we were laughing.