Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

Resetting your life

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Guy Fawkes, Jun 28, 2010.

  1. Guy Fawkes

    Guy Fawkes
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    1,207
    Location:
    Nor'east USA
    I'm fascinated by people who have successfully "reset" their lives. The story of a fortune 200 exec that decides he's had enough and becomes a cat fish farmer, or the lawyer that decides to turn his baking hobby into a career.

    If you haven't read it, Po Bronson's What Should I Do With My Life is an inspiring read.

    A close friend with who had been working as a successful investment banker got caught up in the economic grinder last year. Luckily he had money banked so he wasn't off so bad. After pounding on doors and submitting resumes for six months and finding nothing he was even remotely interested in doing he decided to reset his life.

    He's sold off everything that had a payment associated with it and whittled down his life to the things he owned outright and that would cost very little to maintain. When the fancy condo, cars, and vacation timeshare were gone he went out and bought a used motorcycle ($2,500) and started traveling... everywhere.

    For the last year he's traveled light and always by bike. Found work across the country as a part time laborer and on a few occasions as a consultant. He's worked in lumber yards, bars, fishing vessels, and diners. He's been writing it all down and from what I've read he'll make a bundle if he decides to publish it. But for now he's content with seeing what's next. He's come a long way from being the most structured person I knew.

    Focus: If you could reset your life what would you do? How far could you whittle down your "necessities"?
     
  2. Blue Dog

    Blue Dog
    Expand Collapse
    Absentee Mod

    Reputation:
    64
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,657
    Location:
    South Louisiana
  3. villagebicycle

    villagebicycle
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    5
    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2009
    Messages:
    146
    I actually have a friend who is in the process of resetting her life.

    We dated in high school, but remained good friends since. She worked in an upscale salon making 50k or so a year, and lived in a condo shared with her sister.

    One day, she decided she hated her job, quit, and lived in India for 3 months on a budget of less than 2.5 grand, including airfare, and tripping on acid a whole lot, then earned a yoga teacher certification in Vegas. A few weeks back, she bought an old pickup truck with a camper conversion on the back and has already planned to tour the country with her friend, playing shows, selling jewelry (I shit you not) made of roadkill bones, furs, and feathers, and teaching yoga to make gas and food money. She sold off most of her worldly possessions. Basically, she went from a catholic school girl with a good job and education, to a tatted-up gypsy yoga teacher.

    In a way, I envy her freedom, since I've got this whole consumer mindset. She shunned the whole "conspicuous consumption" theory to pursue what she is passionate about, money be damned.

    Also, my neighbor across the street, upon college graduation, bought a Honda Shadow and drove around the country, staying with random friends, sleeping in parking garages or in the grass off the highway, and generally enjoying his freedom. Now, he's a school teacher.

    The minute I pay off all my debts and loans, I will strongly consider putting my shit in storage or selling off/donating the non-necessities, and taking a several-month long sabbatical to tour the world. Preferably, I would like to buy an old sailboat and do this, but I'll need to save some serious coin prior to this undertaking. Also, I'll need to get ample experience in the business world so I can get back into the professional mindset, or open my own business, upon my return. A boy can dream, right
     
  4. Primer

    Primer
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    933
    Location:
    Edmonton, AB - The frozen suck.
    Interesting enough, I've been thinking about this topic for quite sometime now.

    I graduated college four years ago, went off found myself a job, moved out of my parents house, made stupid purchasing decisions like leasing a truck, moved out of my place and into the ex's place, broke up with her and moved back into the first place I was staying at after my parents. All the while, working the same 8 to 4 shift, technically demanding but ironically drab work; everyday has been one more day that sucks a little more out of my soul. I make good money where I am at but I'm bored and frustrated. I now find new hobbies all the time and on a bi-weekly basis find myself traveling around the country to someone cabin, some town to hang out with people or just to the mountains. I've met more people in the last six months than I have in years and I am constantly trying to expand my horizons.

    Unfortunately, it's not fulfilling for me. I was brought up to be a hard worker, to get a good job and change the world. At this point, even with the many new connections, hobbies and friends, I have yet to start to even sate that desire.

    It all came into perspective about six months ago; I was hooking up with a chick over the course of a few months. She had her degree in teaching and had substituting jobs on and off for about a year. One day, after a couple of months of doing subbing work, she went off and bought a ticket to Europe - she's happier now than I remember her ever being. I realized at that point that what I was doing with my life was nothing close to what I wanted out of it. Thankfully, I have no debts from school or life - other than a terrible credit rating - but I've also got no money saved up; my options are limitless depending how far down the rabbit hole I'm willing to go.

    What comes next? I have no idea. Going back to school crosses my mind the most, so, perhaps when the next season of applications comes, I'll apply to every school I can get my grubby hands into and hope like hell that something pans out. Maybe I'll buy myself that ticket to foreign lands and travel the world or buy myself a pair of skis and get myself a job at a resort in some strange land and work the hills.
     
  5. Sleeves

    Sleeves
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    May 22, 2010
    Messages:
    138
    I thought about this topic a lot last year( My freshman year of college). It mostly had to deal with staying home for college and hearing an impressive story of a certain individual.

    Like every other high school student there comes a time where you must make the decision of where you want to go to college. I had a few places I was looking at, but the local university had offered me a scholarship that I just couldn't refuse. This led to me commuting to school rather than going through the whole dorm living part of college and missing out on late nights all the time, retarded roommates and dealing with the tards on your floor. Come halfway through the year I hear a story about this kid.

    He was a really cool kid and apparently one day he just packed his bags, left school and drove from New York to California with no plans other than getting as far away as possible. He ends up getting a sweet job in one of those manmade surfing places and basically gets to hang out all day while getting paid, surfing and meeting celebrities who pass through.. Obviously he can't spend his whole life at this job, but for the time being he's got it made.

    Now fast forward slightly past mid-year. I start hardcore regretting the fact that I stayed home for school, I feel like most of the people around me who did come from away aren't even taking advantage of the fact that this will be the best four years of thier life and I go through a week or two week period where all I could think about was transferring or just taking off with the wind like the kid above me did because I still have another 3, possibly 5 years here if I choose to attend grad school (one of the top programs in the nation). The only thing was I didn't want to transfer and waste an awsome scholarship cause my family probably would've looked at me like im retarded and who knows if I'd even like the school that I would transfer to. There was also the issue of leaving all the really good friends (teammates) that I met and I really couldn't see myself leaving, but it really fucking sucked.

    As of now I wouldn't technically be resetting my life so to speak, but years down the road who knows how i'm going to feel about everything.
    I still have urges to just take off and see what I can do as an individual on my own rather than someone who still lives at home in college and has it primarily made.
     
  6. stcardsfan

    stcardsfan
    Expand Collapse
    Village Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    28
  7. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
    Expand Collapse
    Porn Worthy, Bitches

    Reputation:
    274
    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2009
    Messages:
    3,267
    Location:
    Where angels never dare
    I am doing this right now, as we speak. I had a fairly successful career as an attorney (minus my last job, but that's another story for another time) and I decided 'fuck it, fuck it all. I hate doing this work, and I'm not going to do it anymore.'

    As far as whittling down necessities, I've cut out quite a bit. Some of it I miss, some of it I don't. I cook a whole bunch now, instead of going to grab something to eat. I don't go out for beers nearly as often, and I don't buy stuff.

    I just completed another step towards becoming an adjunct professor at a local college. I also have started training as a bartender. Now these are just means to an end. I'm currently on unemployment (though my employer appealed the ruling, so I may not have it anymore next week, we'll see), but I'm hoping to be employed in the near future doing the following:

    Dog walking during the day, bartending a shift or two a week at night, and teaching a criminal justice class one night a week. I did the math, and the dollars work out. I won't be wealthy, but I will be able to cover expenses while I work on my screenplay and novel (two separate ventures). And that is the end goal: write something I'm proud of. I may not make a lot of money doing it, or no money at all. But working a horrible job for the sake of making a living that you can't enjoy is just insane and I'm not going to play anymore.

    Anyone that knows of the current ills of the legal profession knows that I'm not going to be alone in jumping ship. I'm interested to see what my friends end up doing, because it's highly unlikely that most of them will be practicing law in 2-4 years.
     
  8. Czechvodkabaron

    Czechvodkabaron
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    92
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2009
    Messages:
    548
    Location:
    Atlanta, GA
    If I could hit the "reset" button, the first thing I would do is not have gone out of state to school. I am from Georgia but went to FSU my first two years because I was rejected from UGA out of high school (I graduated in 2004). I met some amazing people and had a good time and all, but the financial consequences that came from it just were not worth it (and the women at UGA are waaaay hotter than at FSU, fyi).

    After my two years at FSU I took a year off and transferred to UGA. I got a B.S. in Geography, as it is a subject that I have always enjoyed. I kind of had realized that I picked the wrong major when I started at UGA, but when I was at FSU I was ahead of the game and was already far enough into the classes for the major that I didn't want to change it. In my young and not so smart days at FSU I was of the mindset that "money is not important" and just went straight for a major in my favorite subject. I am not a total idiot: my focus for my degree was in GIS and Cartography, not the human or physical stuff. I was always told by professors that those were "growing industries" and if I had any training in them I would have a guaranteed job right out of college.

    I am a little over 7 months removed from college and have yet to find a "real" job. I am currently working at a convenient store. It is a good company to work for and if I move up I could make good money, but this is not what I want to do long term.

    Basically, I have learned that money is a necessary evil. In addition to not going out of state for school, I also would have picked a different major. The different major might not have been something that I loved, but I am sure that I could have gotten it in something more practical and had it pay off.

    I am still trying to figure out what to do. I would like to go to grad school or get another Bachelor's degree, but I don't have the money for that right now.
     
  9. JGold

    JGold
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2009
    Messages:
    518
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    I'm currently in the process of resetting my life--for the second time in a calendar year. Granted, I'm relatively young (24), and I didn't give up Ferraris and expense accounts and private helicopters, but I still think what I'm doing counts. Skip to the last paragraph if you just want my advice and don't give a shit about my story.

    Flash back to last summer. I was a reporter for a moderately sized newspaper in New Mexico, and while journalists are paid a pathetically small salary, it was what I'd wanted to do since middle school. On top of that, I was good at it. I won a few awards, had job security in intensely tough times, and was receiving e-mails out of the blue from admissions representatives at several top graduate schools. I had a future. But something was missing. I woke up one morning and found myself hating where I lived, hating the work, hating where my life was headed. Almost every big paper journalist I've met works 80 hours a week, is single, has no hobbies, and so on. I didn't want that. I wanted weekends free to play in the mountains, the possibility of a stable relationship, to live in a place I loved and not have to move every two years to a new city to work for a larger paper.

    It was in this state of mind, after nearly two years at that paper, that I met a girl at a wedding. Cliche, I know. My friends all give me shit about giving up my entire life to move across the country to be with a girl I barely knew, but I think it was more timing than anything. She offered me a way out at exactly the time I was desperately looking for one. Within four months of meeting her, I'd quit my job and moved to Boston. I didn't have anything lined up. No job, no place to live. I had $2,000 in my pocket and as much junk as I could cram into my Mazda 3. Reset.

    You are all smart people. I'm sure you can see where this is going. About eight months after my arrival in Boston, the relationship (mercifully) fell apart. The girl herself was great*, but everything else in my life was shit. I had a dead-end editing job, I lived in a dilapidated basement in a house with six other people, and between the work and the girl I didn't have time to develop my own social network or enjoy any of my own hobbies. I never really took to Boston, either. Don't get me wrong, it's an awesome city and I loved my time there, but I couldn't see myself there for the long term. So when the relationship ended (one of the main reasons was her knowing I wasn't keen on staying in Boston for more than a year or two), it didn't take me long to realize I needed to get out of there. Two months later, I'd once again saved $2,000 and stuffed everything I owned into my car. This time I was bound for Denver. Reset.

    That's where I am now. I just finished my third cross-country roadtrip, and after a week visiting old friends in New Mexico, I'll be driving up to Denver on Monday. I hope to establish myself there and put down some roots. As of now, I have no job, no place to live, and only a few friends in the city. But you know what? I'm happy. I'm excited for the future. And I couldn't say that when I was working for a newspaper or living in Boston.

    So, here's what I've learned. Fucking go for it. What's the worst that could happen? If you're not happy, and think doing something else will make you happier, what's stopping you? The two most haunting words, to me, are "What if?" I don't want to go through life worrying about what could have been. The only way to find out what's best for you is to get out there and do it. Because I've reset my life twice, I've got to experience some cool ass things: I drove across the country by two different routes, I got to live in one of America's most iconic and culturally diverse cities, I had a (mostly) healthy relationship for almost a year, I met tons of awesome people. I also learned a lot about myself and what I want. The only admonition I'll offer is this: do it while you're young, and while you're the only person your decision affects. Get it out of your system early. I sure hope I have.

    *I've bitched on here about her several times. Mostly while drunk. In truth, except for the last two weeks or so, she was a cool girl. Won't stop me from calling her a small-titted ungrateful Portuguese pygmy whore after a few glasses of whiskey.
     
  10. Zazz

    Zazz
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2010
    Messages:
    115
    I'm happy to see other people having the same issues/desire to reset. When I graduated and couldn't find a real job, bartending and snowboarding everyday was ok, but I felt like those options were always there, now was the time to get out and do it. Do what, exactly? I didn't fucking know, but I knew it meant a complete change. I went a little extreme, selling everything but enough clothes I could fit into a carry on bag, and scrounged up about $4,500, and came to Costa Rica.

    Thanks to things like Facebook I can see what my old friends are up to, and if I'm missing out on anything back home. And to answer that: Nothing, and I'm not. I've made a lot of great friends down here, from all over the world, and lost a lot of naivety. Also, being down here I've gotten my PADI advanced open water certification, am about 6 months from being a certified instructor. That's something I could do for a while.
     
  11. lust4life

    lust4life
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    2,562
    Location:
    Deepinthehearta, TX
    Like The Village Idiot, I'm living the reset right now, too. Made a lucrative living in advertising and publishing over 25 years, but burned out and absolutely hated it for the last few years. I knew I wanted to do something more meaningful and with a greater purpose, but I had no idea what. When I got let go in January of '09 (again, like TVI, that's a story for another day), it gave me the opportunity to really examine and focus on making a major career change. I enrolled in school to get my academic certification to sit for the LCDC exam (licensed chemical dependency counselor), and in my second semester, was encouraged by one of my professors to pursue a master's degree and obtain higher levels of licensure. So, I applied, took the GREs, got accepted, enrolled, was awarded a scholarship last semester, just started a job in the department that I love (a great learning opportunity, solid work experience, and a decent revenue stream) and I'll graduate in 5/12 with CRC accreditation and a guaranteed job with the state (that counts my hours against my LPC requirements). I'm busy, and very, very happy. We've had to trim back a little here and there (cutting out the premium channel on FiOS, dining out twice a month instead of weekly, curbing impulse purchases, etc.), but prudent financial planning and the scholarship really helped to make it possible and lessen the impact of my reduced revenue stream. The whole reset has made a huge, positive impact on my family, and that's the best benefit of it all.
     
  12. Harry Coolahan

    Harry Coolahan
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2010
    Messages:
    329
    Drugs. I kind of regret not trying more drugs when I was in high school, at least things like acid, shrooms, X, and coke. Not that I have an interest in becoming a heavy drug user (or even have the personality for it), but I think they would be interesting experiences. Unfortunately, I'm now at a point where it would be detrimental to my career, and it's unlikely I'll ever be in a position where it would be acceptable (I think I'm too old now to try fucking around with that stuff anyway).

    A few years ago when I was thinking about college, I had to make the decision to turn my back on rock climbing as a serious endeavor. If I were to hit the reset button, it would be to rock climb full-time. Work maybe 3 months a year to put aside $10-12G for food, and live out of a tent at the base of a cliff, changing locations every year or so. I have a few buddies that are doing this and I'm extremely jealous of them.
     
  13. Samr

    Samr
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    934
    Interesting timing for a relevant article/opinion piece I just read.

    A few years ago (as I often mention on here, as it becomes relevant), I had a real bad medical issue that left me in the hospital with basically a day and a half left of guaranteed life. In those 36 hours I had a lot of time to do some really painful introspection, and I promised myself that if I survived the surgery, was going to stop doing what I felt I was "supposed to do" and start doing what I wanted to do. Sounds cliche, I know, but until you're in that position you don't really know how fragile life is. And you don't really appreciate it, I believe, until you survive.

    I'm almost three years removed from what should have been the last day of my life. And I can confidently say my life was "reset" at that point, though not in the way this thread is headed:

    - I married young, because I love her, and if I die tomorrow I want to spend today with her. If it weren't for the "reset," I probably would have stuck to my guns and waited. And I wouldn't be with her, and wouldn't be as happy as I am now.

    - Fully-committed to the job I love instead of just tip-toed the line of halfassedness. Results were a few promotions, and now, you couldn't pay me to leave. My "work" doubles as my hobby, and it's fun as hell.

    - Moved. Now I live on a ranch, own a house, and can go blow up shit with a gun after posting this just because I feel like it. Before the "reset," there's no way I was leaving the city.

    - Also transferred colleges and moved cities. But that's another story. I still kind of miss Austin though.
     
  14. Pink Candy

    Pink Candy
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    24
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    404
    I would've told that dumb fuck advisor at Rutgers in 2000 that I didn't know jack shit about literature and that my major should be criminal justice and not English. I would've said "Listen, ass. I don't care if you think the department is shitty and if I'd be better off with English. Crim is what I know."

    I would've graduated in four years with a respectable GPA instead of the six years and dismal GPA I got thanks to failing the majority of my lit classes. And then, I had always wanted to take a year off before the real world and see Europe. Alone.

    Sigh. Those of you that know what I do for a living know I enjoy what I do. However, on days where Mr. Pink is in yet another depressive funk that brings me down and I have to hear some deviant deny his crimes, I daydream about telling everyone to fuck themselves and go exploring. Alone. If only I wasn't burdened with a conscience...
     
  15. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    544
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    9,534
    I hit the reset button in way, but really I never really started an "adult" life in the first place. I guess I'd just go back and go with the major I really wanted and could have actually lead me to growing into something that wasn't a prolonged student life. Since I graduated last year Ive just loafed around and used my DUI trial as an excuse not to enter the real world. So when the opportunity to move to China came up I took it since it would get my out of the cycle of shit comfort zone. But really Im here looking for jobs in the field of my major. Honestly I just want to save up as much cash as possible and go back to school to do what I really want or else just make a run at it without blowing through my cash on more classes.
     
  16. turboawesome

    turboawesome
    Expand Collapse
    Village Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2009
    Messages:
    37
    Location:
    Australia
    I'm working on a reset right now. I operate Internet business in addition to my day job which are slowly building up traction, so hopefully in the not too distant future I can travel and work from a laptop. Places like Thailand and Vietnam are ridiculously cheap to live like a king in. I've learnt that the 9-5, comfortable and predictable lifestyle is not for me, and I feel like a whore every day I participate in the grind.

    When it boils down to it, most of the property I own is not a necessity. It's nice to have stuff, but at the end it's mostly convenience that I can't take with me when I'm worm dinner.

    Except the laptop.
     
  17. Stealth

    Stealth
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    4
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    857
    I have been trying to hit reset , but the fucking button doesn't seem to work.
     
  18. whatisinaname

    whatisinaname
    Expand Collapse
    Hoping to be even a fraction of the man Jim is.

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    202
    This might be an alt-focus, but since my fiancee finally moved out when I was at UFC111, I've become less angry. I even laughed when I got home at 0130 and saw all of the furniture that was gone. I am happier now than I've ever been, and we remain friends.

    I threw my parents a bad-ass 60th wedding anniversary not too long ago and almost to a person, I was reminded how lucky I am. Life is sweet when you stop and realize what is important and what is petty bullshit.
     
  19. Tim

    Tim
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    56
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    310
    I had my reset button set for me when I was laid off at the end of year. It's been a mixed blessing in that I am out of a severely toxic work environment where we were expected to work insane hours, constantly work through weekends, and not take vacations. And all of this for my boss who was equal parts micromanager and totally indecisive. I'm glad I'm out of there, I've been eating better, exercising regularly and have subsequently lost 40 pounds. Even being unemployed, people say I seem a lot happier.

    On the other hand I've been living off unemployment and savings while I try to figure out how to get out of a town to small to support any other firms doing work related to my degree and work experience.

    And actually, I'm thinking of going back to school, this last job left a nasty enough taste in my mouth for my field. I'm looking to do something that feels more intrinsically rewarding and hopefully pays a living wage as well. But first I'm getting out of this town. Doing this in your mid thirties really sucks but at least I still have the freedom to do so.
     
  20. caseykasem

    caseykasem
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    May 6, 2010
    Messages:
    614
    I'm heading into my senior year of college so next year will be like hitting the reset button because I will be in law school (yes, I know the legal market is shit and I have a backup plan). That said, I wish I could go back to my senior year of high school and kick my 18 year old ass for getting so hung up on a girl that I ended up dating for three years. I also wish I would've known that pre-physical therapy was not for me which would have allowed me to attend a college I really wanted to attend instead of settling for one I loathe. I also wish that when I was switching majors I woul've taken my father's advice and done business instead of political science.

    Anyway, next year I will get to hit the reset button while trying to make a decision that won't make me wish I could hit the reset button again. As I see it, I have 3 options. Option 1: I can go to law school in Wyoming and then take the Wyoming bar and join my dad's very successful firm where I could make a ton of money right out of the gate but would not have the opportunity to have a large amount of financial growth due to the tiny legal market in Wyoming. This would allow me to live near my family and buy a small ranch where I could pursue my dream of raising bucking bulls on the side. Option 2: I can go to law school in the south and try to get a job there afterward that would not pay nearly as well as working for my dad at first but there might be potential for more money down the road. Option 3: I can go to law school down south and then if nothing pans out there, I take the Wyoming bar and option 3 becomes much like option 1.

    Here's to hoping I won't want to hit the reset button again.