Hmmm, I wonder if my ex-husband subconsciously didn't respect me when we were married. Our relationship was very lopsided due to his being dominant, very intelligent and good at debates, and always arrogantly assuming he's right about everything. I was very conflict avoidant and lacked self-confidence. I cringe to this day thinking about how stupid that relationship was. We had traditional household roles and I was even a stay-at-home mom at one point, but that reflected both of our desires. In my current marriage, we have very similar personalities - both feeling comfortable enough to assert our opinion and flexible enough to consider that the other person may be right. And we don't yell or belittle each other. In terms of chores, they also often fall along typical gender lines - me doing dishes and laundry and him doing yard work. That reflects preference though - I would much prefer the indoor work. We share the bill paying responsibilities - we have separate bank accounts, he pays most of the bills, I pay the mortgage, and I do the split up of the house expenses every month.
My girlfriend and I have relatively traditional roles. Our parents were all raised in rural Midwest farm families so we've pretty much taken the lead from that. Both of us love cooking but she is the baking wizard while I do the killing, butchering, and grilling (big surprise there). She prefers to do the dishes and clean first, while I do yard stuff compulsively. Typical housewoman/handyman stuff with exceptions like how I can sew but she can't, and she's better at setting up electronics. Both of us can balance a budget and checkbook but since she's a CPA, I see her doing that once we're together. She's already been doing both of our taxes. Both have professional jobs but last year she made almost twice as much as me. We're both hell-bent on saving money and planning ahead though, so money has never been a source of friction. Personally, she is very organized and plans everything in advance, while I am more laid back and spontaneous. She was a straight-laced sorority girl in college while I was more of a partying pothead. She keeps me on track and I keep her grounded. I am more aggressive and dominant while she is passive and avoids conflict. She knows what she wants but still wants me to make the decisions. As I'm moving very soon, living together has been brought up but neither of us want it quite yet. In the next 1-2 years that may likely be a reality though, so we'll see what happens.
As much as I hate to say it because I would have never seen myself settling into "traditional" roles, we have pretty much done that. I wouldn't say that there is an expectation, just both of us settling into what we each do best. I do the majority of the cooking ..... with a couple of lame attempts by him spattered in so I will end up taking over (I swear he does it on purpose, somebody can't be that bad at something), he cleans up afterwards. He does the majority of the yard work, although I am the one who plants the pretty flowers. Cleaning, we split pretty evenly, although I am the one who makes sure that the sheets and towels are washed. We do have a cleaning lady once every two weeks to do the things that neither of us wants to do (toilets for example). Neither of us is very handy so anything that is out of our expertise we don't hesitate to hire out. At times I would prefer to hire out more things. I exclusively manage the money and checkbook. I doubt he even knows how to log into our accounts, hell, he may not even know the passwords. One area where I wish he would contribute a bit more is the planning and management. The planning and management of ANYTHING. If there is a trip to be planned, I do the research and make the arrangements. If a gift needs to be purchased, I figure out what to get and buy it. If we need something for the house, I research what to get and do all negotiating. If somebody needs to be the "heavy", it's me. Sometimes I wish he would take more of an active role, but deep down I wonder if he did I would resent him for getting in my way.