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Relationship Pros and Cons

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by audreymonroe, Feb 14, 2012.

  1. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    Location:
    Sarnia, Ontario
    Pros:

    - I don't shit in buckets.
    - One of the guys, like you wouldn't believe. I like NASCAR, NFL football, baseball, college football - in that order. I know more about structure and housing than most architects and draftspeople. I can change my own oil and rotate my own tires, and speak intelligently about what is wrong with my truck. Yes, I own a truck.
    - Very, very low maintenance.
    - Love dogs unabashedly. I own two stellar ones, and they are open with their affections.
    - Super smart, and well-read to a fault. I'll read anything except bad fiction.
    - Well-travelled, which has contributed to me being good in almost any social situation. I can put anyone at ease and keep a conversation going with total strangers.
    - Have an awesome family that I'm very close to.
    - I think I'd make a really great mother, in part because I have a really great mother.
    - Have a well-paying job, a house and no one but me holds the purse strings. No debt accept for a mortgage, and an RRSP loan.

    Cons:


    - I will not grow attached to you. I will only like you if you are unavailable. If you are availabile, I will either not be interested or my anxiety will shoot through the roof if I sense you getting attached.
    - Despite my demeanor and affect, I actually hold super traditional values. I think YOUR career should be the one that ultimately supports us, if we ever marry, so I unreasonably expect you to be driven, ambitious and in a high-paying field.
    - I am okay with you being gone for long stretches of time.
    - My family is awesome, but we currently have two problem members, one of which has skewed my views on relationships and will cause me no end of stress until that horrible day when he passes. Have fun approaching me about this subject.
    - I don't like surprises.
    - I like to say that I'm like a Corvette: low maintenance but high priced. I have expensive tastes, and don't bat an eye at spending money.
    - I suspect that if I was in a long-term relationship I would be difficult to live with. I like things a certain way (read: my way), and I've inherited an ability to argue logically from a certain someone that will drive you crazy. Despite you having a legitimate feeling about something, if you approach me in the wrong way about it I will debate you into a corner and you will have no way to defend your legitimate feeling. Again, have fun with that.
    - I spend an inordinate amount of time making sure my dogs are looked after. Nothing interferes with that.
     
  2. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    I asked my wife since I think I'm perfect. Here's what she came up with:

    Pros:

    I have a cute ass;
    Very loyal;
    Attractive;
    Good sense of humor;
    Intelligent;
    Hard working;
    Good cook;
    Willing to walk crazy dog.

    Cons:

    Bad taste in music;
    Overinflated ego;
    Controlling about certain things (like cooking);
    Anxious;
    Often inappropriate (but funny) in social settings;
    Highly adverse to change;
    Doesn't like to try new things;
    Belly button lint;

    I personally think she's out of her goddamn mind.
     
  3. bebop007

    bebop007
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Location:
    Chicago
    Pros:
    - Very good with money, great credit
    - Spending/willing to spend decent amounts of time at the gym to get in better shape
    - Pretty solid sense of humor that only gets better as I get to know a person and can cater to their particular sense of humor
    - Will always put your needs ahead of mine
    - Wide breadth of interests. Incredibly knowledgeable
    - Education and work background nearly guarantees solid employment
    - Willing to try/experiment with damn near anything
    - Honest, often to my own detriment
    - If I promise to do something, it's guaranteed to be done
    - I'm damn near impossible to anger. In fact, I've pissed off other people by being so laid back

    Cons:
    - My sense of humor can often entail Groucho Marx-esque zingers/ragging on people. While it's never meant to be mean, I often times take it way too far and can be quite cruel/mean spirited about it
    - Huge nerd. Did you know David Prowse was the guy in the Darth Vader costume in Star Wars and had a couple small parts in Stanley Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange? You do now. I'm the director's commentary that won't shut the fuck up.
    - Incredibly sucky at romantic sentiment
    - 5'7''-ish (5'8'' on a good day)
    - Can be emotionally needy, however I will knowingly overcompensate by being incredibly aloof and standoff-ish
    - While I am willing to try anything, the woman will be the one that has to initiate all socializing/activity - homebody is my default setting
    - While somewhat decent about cleaning and maintaining my apartment I can still be a big slob and can take forever to clean something. Not to mention insanely disorganized.
    - Virtually no ability to fix or build anything. This has improved somewhat as I (badly) installed some shades in my bedroom and actually managed to fix (kinda, I think) a jammed car door. The woman is gonna have to be the man in this department.
     
  4. Frank

    Frank
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Shit, forgot my most important con:

    5'11.98" tall, missed it by a hair.
     
  5. Frank

    Frank
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    So if I said "smudging milk chocolate on your arm would need to make a noticeable aesthetic difference for me to date you" does that mean I have to put "I shit in buckets" on my cons list? Just trying to get the facts straight.
     
  6. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    I guess I will contribute to my own thread.

    Pros:
    -I'm compassionate: The opportunity to love someone is a far greater appeal for relationships for me than the opportunity for someone to love me. I'm good at it.
    -I'm passionate: This goes for sexy times and about my interests. I appreciate both of those things in other people, so it's a pro for me.
    -I'm "well-rounded": I can't think of a less corny way of saying it, but I have a wide variety of interests and enjoy a lot of things. I'm not a fan of one-dimensional people.
    -I'm really good at coming up with things to do together: If he'll actually consider doing new things, he'd never be bored.
    -I don't know how I do it, but I'm apparently good at encouraging people to grow and better themselves.
    -I give awesome and frequent blowjobs, and I consider maintaining an exciting sex life a high priority.
    -While I definitely want to spend as much time as possible with a boo, I'm also very independent and enjoy/often prefer to do things by myself or with my friends. I think most guys would appreciate this, but I know it could also bother someone. (This also sometimes translates into being a bit secretive or just kind of disappearing at times - con.)

    Cons:
    -I have a lot of intense emotional baggage as well as the propensity/bad luck to constantly be accumulating more of it with each passing year, and how it'll pop up and affect a relationship is unpredictable. I tend to have problems of my own that are difficult for people to handle, even if it doesn't directly involve them. They're just not used to it and feel helpless. All of the following are really just subcategories of this.
    -I have high expectations for a relationship once I consider it to be serious. I'm actually wondering if this will be as big of a deal in future/more adult relationships, though, and if this has been such a big con in the past due to unbalanced maturity levels. (Because to me most of those expectations weren't unrealistic, just not the norm for young relationships.)
    -I'm pretty paranoid about when good things in my life will end, so even if things are going wonderfully I have the tendency to blow something that worries me out of proportion. I don't always share these, but I'm sure it effects my behavior somehow even if I'm not bringing it to their attention.
    -I'm sensitive in both directions, and all of my emotions hit me pretty hard. I know guys love them some emotions. (Although when I'm being sensitive and emotional in a positive way, it's a pro.)
     
  7. StayFrosty

    StayFrosty
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    effin saved me a lot of typing, because half of his post fits me right on. To add:


    Pros:

    - Honest. If you ask "Do I look good in this shirt?" and you don't, I'll tell you.
    - (Mixed) Sarcastic/witty: If you ask "Do I look good in this shirt?" and you do, I'll tell you so....after making a teasing comment about it. I love to tease, and banter for me is a way to show affection. I fully expect you to tease me right back.
    - Handy. Did something break? I can probably fix it or at least rig a temporary fix.
    - Compact. I don't hog covers, and even if I did, there would still be plenty left.
    - Not sports obsessed. You'll never have to pretend to be interested while I deliver a dissertation on basketball/baseball/football stats and news. I'll occasionally watch a game, see a team win, good game now let's go do something active ourselves.
    - I'm reasonably clean. This doesn't mean that I'm not a 22 year old male, but I do keep my surroundings reasonably intact and when I get in a cleaning mood I'll leave things so pristine that you'll catch yourself googling "Is my boyfriend OCD?"
    - I'm a romantic at heart. This means that while I'm making fun of the sappy love music you're playing, I'm actually thinking about surprising you with a night of dinner at home followed by a bath with your favorite fragrance and a full body massage.
    - Stubborn. As. Hell. I believe I have to internalize everything and deal with it on my own which is going to make me come across as cold and withdrawn sometimes. I'm not, I just don't know how to rely on other people. See also: Trust issues.


    Cons:

    - I'm defensive. I won't yell at you, insult you, throw a fit when you call me on something, but my body language will get cold. This just means that I'm consciously fighting decades of learned behavior so I can talk things out with you like an adult while ignoring the fact that my fight or flight instinct is screaming in the back of my mind in a voice like that of a Valley Girl with a positive pregnancy test. Well, not quite but you get the idea.
    - I'm constantly eating. We're having sex? I'm probably reaching down beside the bed for some pretzels. Cuddling? Mmmm fruit. Having an important talk? I'll be spreading out a tablecloth and producing some creme brulee and stirfry from thin air. Thing is, I can actually cook that, and quite well, so you'll be too busy indulging your taste buds to care.
    - I'm skinny and youthful in appearance. If you want to rest your head on my chest, be prepared for a rib through you ear. Also expect lots of cradle-robbing jokes from your friends. Blame my parents.
    -I think very short-term. When an idea hits me, I want want WANT to do it whether it's a last minute dinner or a change of plans. I'm not inflexible, but it might get irritating at times.
    - I have a thing for butts. Not quite an obsession, but not the standard A over T to put it somewhat crassly. Ever seen a kitten with a ball of yarn? That's me and your butt. Sorry, blame my parents, or if you like to think realistically, just smack my hand and tell me to stop. Wait two minutes, rinse and repeat.
     
  8. jordan_paul

    jordan_paul
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    Disturbed

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    Location:
    Binbrook, Ontario
    Pros:

    -I'm 20, 6'3, size 13 boot
    -I'm considerate to the point I go out of my way to hold doors open for old people, wheelchairs etc
    -I'm a farmer
    -I own two pickup trucks ('02 Duramax, '11 Ram 1500)
    -I have a good career
    -I'm good with money, if we ever get married we'll have a house right away, no shitty apartments for us
    -I can fix just about anything, and have every tool available to do it
    -I can drive anything from a stick in a Jetta to a transport truck, from a pick up to a tractor towing any kind of trailer
    -If the zombies ever take over I'd be pretty set. I've got lots of guns, I know how to raise crops and animals and how to butcher my own meat
    -I can't get off from a blowjob so I don't require them in my day to day
    -I can last atleast 45 minutes before I bust
    -I don't smoke, rarely drink and never do drugs

    Cons:
    -I kinda got fat after highschool, I want to loose 45 lbs
    -I'm pretty messy, the clothes are fine on the floor and my boots are ok on the porch
    -I'm always working, usually on the road. We won't see each other much
    -I will not have any respect for you if you have no desire to work full time
    -I generally don't talk about my feelings and shit, so if you want to her I love you everyday you're fucked
    -I will not be kept on a leash. If I get anymore then one text message along the lines of" where are you now, who are you with" within a 30-60min window of each other your shit will be in garbage bags at the road about 7 minutes after I get home
    -You will sign a pre-nup
    -I need my space when I'm sleeping, no cuddling allowed
     
  9. AlmostGaunt

    AlmostGaunt
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    Pro:
    Smart.
    Witty, if you share my particular sense of humour.
    I listen. Carefully. And will devote considerable time to thinking about what you say, and any implied subtext.
    Many disparate interests, most of which I can discuss intelligently.
    Loyal, both in the sense that I've never cheated, and I will have your back in any situation.
    Enjoy cooking and happy to wash up afterwards.
    Generous in bed and invested in ensuring both us have a stellar, satisfying sex life.
    No qualms about dropping serious coin on presents. (Well, serious coin for a 27 yr old. Usually about a week's pay for birthdays.)
    Thoughtful.

    Con:
    Arrogant and possessing limited tolerance for the less intellectually gifted. If your friends prefer volume to content, we aren't going to get along. I'll play nice, or suggest you hang out with them on your own, but I won't integrate well.
    Mildly pretentious.
    Slow to trust.
    Largely impervious to hurt, but will occasionally overreact to thoughtlessness.
    Require significant amounts of alone time.
    Lack of oral sex, both giving and receiving, is probably a deal breaker. (Yes, there are women for whom one or the other is uninspiring. Those woman aren't a good match for me.)
    Strong personality which requires another strong personality. I've done my time with passive girlfriends, and it's emotionally exhausting to have to second guess someone else's needs and wants to make sure you're not accidentally trampling them. This time around I want to find someone with the self possession to ensure their needs are met. (Oh. I should explain why I consider this a con. So often women are socialized to subordinate their will to the will of the group / their partner. It's not a conscious choice, just the result of the culture in which we live. Women with strong personalities tend to be marginalized, and so impressionable youth learn to 'blend in' rather than stand out. Fuck that noise. This is less of a problem as I get older, but it plagued me during my early 20s.)
    The single biggest con though is usually the fact that I'm not so much interested in a girlfriend as a partner in crime. I don't spend my weekends gardening or doing household chores. I host chaotic drinks or go to drug-infused house parties. If you aren't into a dedicated, inebriated social life, we aren't going to have a lot in common.
     
  10. PewPewPow

    PewPewPow
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    This is actually kind of serendipitous, considering I'm single as of this morning.

    Pros:
    I can cook pretty well.
    I'm well-traveled.
    I'm handy, in the sense that I've been paid to be a handyman.
    I'm good in bed.
    I'm not bad to look at, and in fairly decent shape .
    I don't dress like a slob, which is mildly impressive considering I'm 25.
    I'm not a complete idiot and am going to school for something that should get me a decent wage (Mathematical Economics).

    Cons:
    I'm the kind of asshole that says he studies mathematical economics instead of just econ.
    I hate disney movies, sweatpants, uggs, and christmas.
    I'll probably never put you ahead of stuff like traveling, work, school etc. In other words, selfish.
    I'm not a feelingsy kind of guy, if you want constant reassurance that's too bad.
    If you try to use sex against me I'll probably just go out and pick up a one-night stand.
    If I catch you being wrong about something I will correct you.
    Not much of a filter, I'll talk to your dad about how many times we've done shrooms while you and your mom look on horrified.
     
  11. JWags

    JWags
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    This feels like all the games I would play with myself when I couldn't get a date to save my life in HS.

    Pros:
    -Smart, quick and witty
    -Well read, well spoken, almost an encyclopedic knowledge of random minutia. I will be able to talk about something with almost anyone
    -In pretty damn good shape after developing an almost obsessive dedication to working out and eating better
    -With the point above, I take care of myself. A lack of hygiene is something I'll never have
    -Incredibly loyal, almost to a fault
    -Good in bed, always giving, its something I always am willing to get better at
    -Doggedly determined to give myself and my future wife the best life possible.
    -Grew up with 3 sisters and am very close with my Mom, I can deal with alot of female nonsense.
    -Have a great family who you will love, if I sense you won't, you'll never get to the stage of meeting them.

    Cons:
    -I've struggled with relationship related boredom in the past.
    -Despite my best intentions, my relationship experience is limited and still developing.
    -I'm good friends with two of my ex-gfs, who I've not been involved with for years, and thats not gonna change.
    -I'm a terribly uncooperative sleeper.
    -I hate cheesy relationships and refuse to be part of extremely demonstrative lovely couples.
    -My sports allegiances are strong and you're gonna have to get used to them.
    -My dad's side of the family are judgmental asshats who will be inclined to dislike you cause its just how they are.
     
  12. JProctor

    JProctor
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    Average Idiot

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    I can't be the only one chuckling at this thread.

    Here are mine:

    Pros:
    -I like to sit around the house, so you won't have to spend a lot of money or energy dating me.
    -I don't pay attention at work, so I can keep you company via phone or IM during the day.

    Cons:
    -I lose interest in sex with the same person over time. After being together for a year, I'd almost always rather masturbate than have sex or even get head.
    -If you upset me, I will put your dog down and take all your clothes to Goodwill.
     
  13. rei

    rei
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    I was going to make a snarky comment based on the perception that every farmer in this country is going broke, but looks like the net per-farm is pretty solid - how does that get divided up usually?
     
  14. PIMPTRESS

    PIMPTRESS
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Location:
    Denver-ish
    Pros:
    I am a good mother.
    I work hard, I'll take care of myself and mine, thank you.
    I model occasionally, therefore I maintain accordingly.
    I'm a silver lining type, no matter what the day gives me, I smile for the opportunity.
    I don't live beyond my means, don't owe anyone anything.
    I love going on adventures, love the outdoors.
    I can ride anything.
    I really,really enjoy pleasing my man.

    Cons:
    I have kids. They will always come before you. Don't dare challenge this.
    I have moderately severe ADHD. I manage it, but it wins occasionally.
    I smoke a lot of weed. Some find this an issue.
    I have had some fertility concerns resulting in a couple of surgeries.
    I can be jealous-I don't assume my man is cheating, I just find flirtatious women rude at times.
    I am stubborn, unless you can present a good case for my reconsideration(could be pro or con).
    I can be cruel if I feel antagonized. I've learned to hold my tongue, for the most part, but can be hell to fight with.
    Sometimes, I need to be able to walk away, to breathe a moment. Let me. I'll come back.
     
  15. FreeCorps

    FreeCorps
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    #1 Internet Boo

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    Welp, this question intrigued me, but we all know that we are the worst judges of ourselves. Bill Watterson said it best in one of the footnotes written in The Tenth Anniversary Book, when he speaks about the storyline with the Transmogrifier (when Calvin makes duplicates of himself).

    "I think most of us would be horrified to meet ourselves and discover what everyone else already knows about us."

    So I texted some past and present, um, friends to see what they thought. Well, for the most part all the good answers were sexual in nature and the bad answers were that I can be a bit of an asshole. So it can be summarized thus:

    Pros: Great in bed.
    Cons: Can be a sarcastic prick.

    Hurray.
     
  16. dewercs

    dewercs
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Location:
    phoenix, arizona
    Pros
    I am a very good cook and love to cook for people
    I work very hard and make decent money
    I play very hard
    I love adventure and plan very well for my adventures
    I am well versed in outdoor activities, fishing, hunting camping, killing, catching, cleaning etc.
    Find humor in anything

    Cons
    I only like to hunt and fish and find most other activities a waste of time
    Very narcissistic and borderline attachment disorder
    Really don't care about anyone who does not add something to my life
    Love to flirt with women
    Very addictive personality
     
  17. MoreCowbell

    MoreCowbell
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Pros

    1) I am perfectly willing to watch the occasional chick flick if you're willing to occasionally watch sci-fi/movies where things blow up. I reserve the right to make snarky jokes all movie if it sucks, though.
    2) Honest, trusting, & rarely prone to jealousy.
    3) I am legitimately interested in hearing your opinion on things. The more of them you have, the better. People without opinions or with all the same opinions as me bore me.
    4) I actively enjoy cuddling
    5) Same goes for eating pussy (still working on figuring out how to breathe out my ears)
    6) I've been told I'm kinda clever/funny/smart. Buyer beware of that one.
    7) 'm told I'm at least OK at the whole sexytime thing. That may or may not be true, but it's what I've been told.


    Cons
    1) I need to lose 30 pounds or so.
    2) I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people. If you're the type who needs regular/constant contact, that's kind of a struggle for me. I don't even keep in very good touch with my closest friends, to be honest.
    3) I can be an arrogant and stubborn fucker. I'm reasonably smart, but tend to think I'm smarter/more right than I am.
    4) That last one translates into me having trouble respecting those I don't consider similarly intelligent. This isn't that big of a problem, because I usually don't get into relationships with them. But it can make me seem dismissive.
    5) I have a tendency to get into what I think are discussions, and other people think are arguments. People think that because I'm arguing with them, I'm angry at them or think they're stupid. The truth is no, I just legitimately enjoy intellectual discussions, especially with people I don't agree with.
    6) My sarcasm can come off as mean, especially if someone doesn't realize that me teasing them is a sign I like them and/or feel comfortable around them.
     
  18. Treble

    Treble
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    Average Idiot

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    50
    Pros:
    Sex is better when you know someone and have the kind of emotional bond with them that takes time to develop. Way better. It's nearly transcendental. It's lightning vs. the lightning bug.

    I think I make a good boyfriend. I like to do nice things for girls, to go out to interesting places, to do fun shit that isn't just "get beers with friends."

    Cons:
    I'm very insecure. I am so afraid of loving someone and them not loving me back and then I'm afraid of that fear sabotaging any serious relationship I'd get into because I'm pretty sure it's done so in the past.


    Overall: Pros outweigh the cons. Love and connection form a dimension of the human experience that nothing can replicate, and sex with strangers is a poor substitute.
     
  19. Misanthropic

    Misanthropic
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    At the risk of soliciting unwanted invitations from the TIBettes:

    Pros:
    - I is intelligent.
    - I can carry on a good conservation about a wide variety of topics, even with people I have never met before, like the cop that arrested me last Tuesday.
    - I have a good sense of humor. I can laugh at myself. I can even laugh at you. And I will.
    - I'm moderately good looking, in a "not embarrassing to be seen in public with, but your girlfriends won't rub one out to me" kind of way.
    - I have a good career and a job that pays well
    - I am capable and reliable. Shit be gettin' done at MY house when it needs doin'.
    - I have a wide circle of friends, including many good friends that go back 3 or 4 decades. You will have an active social life.
    - I am one with nature.

    Cons:
    - Overinflated sense of my own intelligence, sense of humor, and looks.
    - I could stand to lose a few pounds. Alright, maybe 30-50 pounds.
    - I drink too much. There. I said it.
    - I snore. LOUD.
    - I am not particularly athletic. If a good game of badminton is what you're after, look elsewhere.
    - I have this growth on my . . . never mind.
     
  20. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Honorary TiBette

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    we out
     

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