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Recall This, You Bastards

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nettdata, Oct 20, 2014.

  1. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    Buckyballs was the most recent toy recall that broke my heart. When they first hit the market I was working at EA, and a shit-ton of us bought a lot of them... they were (and still are) a blast!



    Then they were recalled: http://gizmodo.com/how-buckyballs-fell-apart-1609183224

    Bastards.

    FOCUS: What toys of your childhood was later deemed to be "too unsafe" by a bunch of overly-paranoid soccer moms and pulled off the market?

    ALT-FOCUS: What toys of your childhood just aren't available any more that you miss, or think should be brought back?
     
    #1 Nettdata, Oct 20, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  2. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    FOCUS: Lawn darts. Of course the very first thing we all did when we opened them was to throw them as high as we could, straight up...

    [​IMG]
     
  3. Rush-O-Matic

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    FOCUS: What toys of your childhood was later deemed to be "too unsafe" by a bunch of overly-paranoid soccer moms and pulled off the market?

    ALT-FOCUS: What toys of your childhood just aren't available any more that you miss, or think should be brought back?

    I had Tonka Trucks equipment, like a big dump truck and a back hoe, that were made out of metal. Now they're just plastic.

    Also, playgrounds were just dirt, so when you fell off the monkey bars or jumped sideways from a swing, you got the breath knocked out of you like God intended. None of this rubberized mulch nonsense
     
  4. Chellie

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    Can it be a game that was decided unsafe and banned? Dodgeball was the shit. I have fond memories of hucking that ball at heads as hard as my 8 year old self possibly could. Now my kid's school won't even allow it with a foam nerf ball.
     
  5. AFHokie

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  6. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    I remember having something kind of like this when I was a kid:



    A neighbour friend and I would make plastic airplane models, string up fishing line in the back yard, and then cover the planes in weird chemicals that would burn all crazy and then hurl them down the line.

    We were trying to recreate these special effects:



    We succeeded.

    Parents were freaking out over the various smells coming from the back yard (burning sulphur, etc), but man we had a blast.

    Now you have parents stopping the examination of rocks in school because they're afraid little Jimmy is going to catch something from them.
     

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    #6 Nettdata, Oct 20, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  7. Nettdata

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    Mr. Toast

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    And of course, when we melted all the model airplanes and burned up all the chemicals, we fell back to strapping grasshoppers onto water rockets in the back yard.

    More than a few of these things ended up on a neighbour's roof.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. happyfunball

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    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

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    I ruled at these! Loved them:



    Bruised the shit out of my forearm, but it was a price worth paying.

    Actually, that looks like my parents' deck and house. Not my arm. Though I may have owned at one time a brown, velour, short-sleeved shirt. But I'm admitting nothing.

    Now THESE are one of their replacements:

    [​IMG]

    Or ones with a ring to hold onto instead of...a not ring. I don't know what to call the flat short stick-like thing it used to have.

    That's just not right.
     
    #8 happyfunball, Oct 20, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  9. Binary

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    I used to love the "roundabouts" on the playground. We'd put 2-3 people in the middle, and a group of us would get them spinning as fast as we possibly could, and laugh our asses off when the people in the middle got flung into the side bars, or off into the dirt. Alternately, we'd get them spinning like crazy and try to successfully get on while they were spinning, with hilarious (and often injury-inducing) results.

    [​IMG]

    I also remember having slap bracelets. Not the new, plastic, "safe" kind, but the ones that were a big piece of razor sharp metal covered by a thin, brightly colored plastic wrap.

    [​IMG]
     
  10. Flat_Rate

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    Wait, they banned water rockets? Why?
     
  11. Nettdata

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    Don't think they did... just reminiscing about toys that I don't see any more...
     
  12. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    We would stand at opposite ends inside the rings. Everybody had a dangerous way of playing the greatest backyard game ever.


    The breaker of ankles and shredder of tendons:
     

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  13. Juice

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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    The only answer for both is fireworks.
     
  14. CharlesJohnson

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    Oh god, another pants wetting hysteria from histrionic mothers. Slap bracelets will cut your wrist and you will BLEED TO DEATH! Third grade, no more slap bracelets. Really, I see it as wasting a good tetanus shot.

    On that same token, as a child of the 80s, the big one I remember is water guns made to look exactly like real firearms. "You'll get shot if I buy you that!" Mothers had this fantasy of their 8 year old in a dark alley at night confronted by cops. Nevermind the logistics of how your 8 year old is mistaken for a midnight hoodlum, let alone being in that dark alley in the first place. Or they're in their own yard, and will get gunned down by over zealous cops in broad daylight thinking a real gunfight is in progress between opposing yuppie, suburban gangs. What's more disturbing is the number of fantasies moms have come up with where you tragically, gorily, unnecessarily DIE.

    Ironically, a kid getting blown away in his own yard by cops is a reality now. Sooooo... checkmate, kids? We showed you!
     
  15. Currer Bell

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    I remember playing with a bag o' glass when I was a kid. I don't know what the big deal is, we were playing with it in the parking lots anyway, they were just giving us what we want.
     
  16. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    I liked "Doggie Dentist", personally.
     
  17. Danger Boy

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    My brother and I would buy model rocket engines at the local craft store and use them for all sorts of fun shit, such as:

    -Sending small reptiles into the lower stratosphere.
    -Making toy cars/boats go so fast they become airborne.
    -Homemade bazooka ammo for playing Army with our friends.
    -Smoking/chasing out gophers.
    -Rollerblades.


    I also remember breaking bones being a sort of rite of passage. There were kids who had broken bones and kids who were going to have broken bones.

    The playground where I went to elementary school had a big steel slide that was about 10-12 feet tall and had a big hump in the middle, kind of like this:
    [​IMG]
    In the winter, the kids who lived closest to school would dump water down it at night to get it good and icy. When we showed up in the morning we would have contests on who got the most air off the hump and who slid the furthest on the snow after they came off the slide. When you went up the ladder, a "spotter" would follow you up so he could push you and get more speed. It got to the point to where we were flying off the hump and almost clearing the bottom of the slide. It was awesome and terrifying at the same time. It's a miracle there were no broken tailbones. They have since taken it down and replaced it with a lame-ass little 8 foot plastic slide with high sides so you can't even fall off.
     
  18. Trakiel

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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    It's funny because for all those supposed "dangerous" toys - some of which I had (lawn darts, chemistry set) - the one that gave me the most injuries was this one right here:

    [​IMG]

    I had this exact bike and it was my most cherished childhood possession. The amount of scraped knees and elbows I got as a result of doing stupid shit on this bike is more than I can count.
     
  19. Bundy Bear

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    Where we lived while I was in high school was a small town called Yambuk which had one attraction.

    This.

    [​IMG]

    This is the sanitized version. It used to be another half longer and no steps to get to the top or anything fancy. We ripped a wheelie bin lid off one day to use instead of cardboard and were coming off so fast that we were sliding out into the car park.
     
  20. Rush-O-Matic

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    Here comes the boom.

    You can still find them, just not by that company. As they aged (especially left out in the sun), they were more likely to get tiny cracks . . . leading to plastic shrapnel.

    We had some of those L'eggs plastic eggs that were clear. We would tape those to things like Evel Knievel's canyon rocket, and put lizards and frogs and stuff in there. We would tape M-80's to the back, and hope the fuse burned just the right amount of time before it blew up.* We even filmed some of that with a Super 8 camera.

    We used to take the steel plate door that was the crawl space cover at my friend's house, stack it on bricks, and jump our bikes across the creek. I went back to that spot later as an adult, and I don't know how we didn't get hurt more.


    *Shut up, PETA. The animals were just fine, all safe inside the egg.