Really? That is the most insulting thing you've ever heard?

A few days ago, my brother posted something about Jersey Shore as his status update on facebook. I responded with a sarcastic "...and if you're a Jersey Shore fan, seriously, WTF?"

His fiance got all angry and started ranting about how I still play video games and I'm not better than her for watching Jersey Shore and I shouldn't be commenting on what anyone else watches or does. When I mentioned that both she and my brother play video games, as well (with a pot calling the kettle black comment), and she got all annoyed again, and I finally realized it was an incredibly stupid argument over a silly sarcastic comment and deleted all the posts. Consequently, she came by a little gathering we had and completely ignored me, except to shoot me the occasional dirty look (or what I interpreted as dirty looks). My brother insists she isn't angry but is just 'giving it back to me,' but I was being sarcastic and tongue-in-cheek. She is clearly pissed.

The true irony is that she is half Mexican, and my brother and his friends regularly make Mexican jokes about her, like my brother saying he wants to have a bunch of kids so he can open a lawn care business, or talking about her sneaking over the border. Apparently, racist stereotypes are fair game. Insulting Jersey Shore, though? No... fucking... way!

Focus: What have you said that you felt was mundane, but was apparently incredibly insulting? How did it turn out? Lose a major friendship because you said you didn't like their meatloaf?

 

Yay TERRIBLE THREAD THURSDAY!

Gotta be careful what you say sometimes. I went to high school with a girl who was a pathological liar or something, because she made up a bunch of stories that clearly were beyond belief. Things like she spent the summer in Jordan playing soccer with the Jordanian Royal Family, but had to fight off the unwelcome advances of the Prince of Persia and shit like that. I don't know, I just figured she had something wrong in the head.

Well later on I was at a party* and she was there with lots of other people I knew, and I walked in on a conversation where someone was asking her about what the Prince of Persia looked like or something. I wasn't even thinking and I say "oh, shit, that actually happened? I thought you were making that up." Well I get pulled aside by every girl at the party over the course of the night yelling at me for being insensitive enough to actually saying out loud what everybody else was thinking. Whatever.

* The gatherings I went to in high school could not really be called "parties" by any stretch of the imagination.

 

I once said that if I ever have a gay son, and I come home from work early and catch him blowing some mexican dude I'll crush his skull with a cinder block. Not because he's gay, but because that could have waited until the yardwork was done. What? Jose gets paid hourly.

Apparently my friend's dad was a landscaper, didn't talk to me for a couple weeks.

 

While at a party, I started a conversation with some mid-twenties chick. It was just the normal dumbass never-met-you-before-what-do-you-do conversation. She was wearing one of those loose-fitting blouse type shirts - the ones that seem to be in fashion now that show cleavage and then just hang over their tits and hide their torso; pregnant women clothes... I noticed a little belly under there and spouted out, "So how many months are you?!" She wasn't.

 

So my cousin puts up a picture on facebook of her on some beach somewhere, in a bikini, about 8 months pregnant. Now, she looked about as good as possible given the circumstances; not too much extra fat anywhere, but obviously a huge belly.

Comment: "Wow, would it kill you to do a sit up once in a while?"

I thought, hey, she's got a huge belly! Ha! get it? Sit ups? For your belly? Because she's obviously just pregnant!

No, JoeCanada, not funny. It seems that there's no situation where making fat jokes about a girl won't make her mad. (...Especially when they're 8 months pregnant.)

 

For the final two months of my stint in Northern B.C. I was fooling around regularly with a girl named Katherine.

We stopped fooling around when I moved to the Prairies, but we still kept in touch via the telephone.

When I first got to my current city, I was hooking up with a girl named Allison. Allison and Katherine were eerily similar in a lot of ways, including their voice over the telephone.

One afternoon, while napping my phone rings. I pick up the phone and groggily say, "Hello?"

"Hi sweetie, how are you?" the girl asks.

"Hey Allison, I'm good. Just napping. What's going on with you?" I respond.

CLICK.

I look at the call-ID. Katherine. FUCK!

I call her back. She's audibly pissed off that I called her the wrong name. I explain the situation that she sounds a lot like my 'co-worker' Allison. She doesn't buy it, she tells me to take a hike and we haven't spoken since.

In hindsight, it was totally for the best. She had a boyfriend the whole time that we were fooling around, and we came DANGEROUSLY close to getting caught. It's definitely not one of my finer decisions in life, but a learning experience. Fuck her for having no empathy for a napping radio announcer.

 

I once had a girl yell very, very loudly in a bar, "I'd rather be at home masturbating than standing here talking to you!"

...The offending thing I said?

I had insisted that there were penguins in South America (southern tip, Falkland Islands, etc), over her objections that 1) "No, South America is hot," and 2) "I'm from Puerto Rico, I would know."

 

I've got one.

I'm an American, I was studying in a foreign country overseas. I met some Canadian there, and having not spoken to many Canadians for some reason, ask her a few "pointless small talk" questions, just to talk. I think I asked if football was as big there and how cold it is up there (you know, because it's north of some of the coldest American cities).

She must have had some kind of inferiority complex about her country, because she was PISSED at what I guess she assumed should have been obvious answers. Like, I should know more about her country, blah blah blah. She was actually seething with rage.

Anyway, I run into her a week or two later on the way to the bar with some friends. I'm friendly, but she's trying to get into a pissing contest AGAIN for my ignorance of Canadian professional football. I don't want to get into it, but she is just insisting upon an argument. Anyway, knowing how obscure American state capitals are to foreigners (at least I'm assuming b/c they are usually not major cities), I just ask her the capitals of various US states. Yeah, many people from Canada might know them, but this dumb bimbo certainly didn't. That shut her up pretty fast.

 

Wait.....English is your first language AND you studied to a tertiary level? Well....that's it, China's won.

 

I was watching TV with one of my roommates about a week ago, who is about as Jewish as they come. She grew up in Brookline, Mass. for crying out loud. Another one of my also very Jewish roommates was in the room. Roommate A commented that the guy on screen looked like a textbook Jew. He had a skinny face, thick curly black hair, a big nose, and an olive complexion. It was a statement of fact. Roommate A repeated this sentiment several times, saying things like, "He's so cute for a Jew! I love him!"

Roommate B sat silent. A few minutes later, I commented something along the lines of, "Man, I hope that Jewish kid wins." Roommate B flips the fuck out. She calls me disrespectful and runs upstairs, saying I have no proof he's Jewish except derogatory stereotypes. I didn't mean anything negative by it. The kid looked fucking Jewish. It's not like I said, "Haha, look at his big fat Jew nose! I bet he's frugal!" I could hear her upstairs sobbing for a solid 30 minutes and she didn't come back down until the next morning.

Then again, she's a woman. You can't really expect women to act rationally.

If you can't tell from my recent posts, my roommates fucking suck. Can't wait to move out in August.

 

My (totally awesome) sister-in-law is a card carrying, flannel-wearing butch lesbian. One day joking around with her and my husband, I meant to say "She's more manly than you are, honey!" Instead what I said was "She's more of a man than you are!" He didn't take too kindly to that. Whoops!

 

There was this one chick that I thought was really cool. ( Yeah, I thought a girl was cool.. what the fuck? ). I had a serious chance of bangin this girl out so I thought, whatever.

Well, During a night of weekday drinking we put a picture up of her friend on facebook sweeping and captioned it "What a women should be doing"

Cue feminist rant...Cue the 6 or 7 of us that were pretty drunk ripping this girls feminist ways.

Oh drunken nights, you ruin my chances every time.

 

One of my friends who clearly didn't understand the meaning of the phrase made a facebook post saying: "Oh yeah, well you're just a bunch of zipperheads." She didn't log in for another week and by the time she had half her friends called her a racist and the other half posted links to urban dictionary.

Seriously though, can a mod do an ip check to see if this is Nom or another member trolling us under a different username? I refuse to believe someone this dumb figured out breathing, let alone the intricacies of crating an account on a message board.

 

I would like to know who approved him to be a member. Can you disapprove him?

 

You guys are obviously just haterz, Mister Chocolate Rain, please post as much as possible. Regale us with your tales of "bangin girls out" and "what a women" should be doing. Your unintentional hilarity has made my bleak work day that much brighter. I hope you continue your quest to find a cool girl and tell us in as much detail as humanly possible about your failed attempts.

 

BEHOLD! THE RETURN OF MILLY!