RAVE: Yesterday I got an invite on a ridiculously hilarious (read purposely sappy and cheesy from Papyrus) card inviting me to be in one of my best friend's wedding party in March. He was one of my roommates last year of college and we are still close, however, he lives in NYC and I've not been in close proximity to him in 3+ years. We talk fairly regularly but this is just an awesome validation of our friendship. It sounds cheesy, but it meant alot. Its also the first wedding of any of my close friends (except my friend who married a psycho in the Outer Banks on a Tuesday that I couldn't attend for obvious reasons), so that should be awesome as well. The story of he and his fiancee meeting is ridiculous and insane and I look forward to crafting a speech about it, while making it family appropriate (they fucked on our damn roof the first night they met, so its gonna be tough). RAVE: Was at my buddy's place tonight and was treating to a most ridiculous rambling session of coked out whore babble from an acquaintance of ours. I've never heard someone be so open and upfront about their love for cocaine and their constant need for it. She also, for no reason, began tearing into this obnoxious skank that was also in attendance. Almost to the point where I felt bad for said skank. I was close to starting a Twitter feed just to memorialize some of these quotes but we opted for a Facebook thread instead, to rave reviews thus far. RANT: Said coke whore used to be GORGEOUS. I mean an absolute 10. Classically beautiful face, meticulously maintained body, and was an absolute sweetheart and hilarious. Now, 2 years of heavy coke use later, she looks like a train wreck. From a distance or the right angles she still looks pretty enough, but her skin has gotten terrible, her eyes are just fucked and roll about like a damn chameleon, and her chest looks like a special at IHOP. And to cap it off, she has transformed into a complete bitch. She used to be a trophy wife dream. Gorgeous, engaging, intelligent, and from a stupidly wealthy family. Now she is a used up coke whore whose Dad won't even give her money for her bday. Drugs are bad mmkay?
Rant: Spoiler for a lengthy rant about how my uncle is the worst person on the face of the planet, and advice on how I should go about letting him know I feel this way and letting him know that I never want to speak or hear his name again much less hear from him. Any advice would be greatly appreciated as it looks like I might write a lengthy letter, one I doubt he would read, chronicling how I feel about him. Spoiler My 57 year old uncle is the most pathetic excuse for a human being I have ever seen. He treats his flesh and blood like shit, belittling and badgering us all the time. He cusses and screams at my 14 year old sister and mother with words, phrases, and an attitude that nobody should have to endure, much less his own family. He constantly treats us like we know nothing and we are stupid. He thinks everyone in the world is out to get him, everyone is an asshole, everyone is stupid. This is the same piece of shit that decided to come into my home, my parents home, when I was 13 and smack me around. I vowed if he ever touched me again I would shatter his fucking face. Now, my grandma passed away, she was the only reason why we put up with him. He has now taken it upon himself to make going through her will, finances, house, and everything the most difficult thing to do ever. He has fought and argued against every decision made trying to settle her affairs just because he wants to argue with us and thinks we do not know anything. By the way I am 25 and I have completed more education than this man could ever even think of. He barely graduated high school in the 70's and it took 30 years of working for the Post Office and this 53 year old white male STILL LIVES IN THE BRONX NEW YORK. He has no basis to consider me stupid or that I do not know anything. Now, he is treating my mother, his own sister, like shit, as she is the only one left up in NY still. Once this is all said and done, I have to do some thing to tell this man how I feel. I have to do something, say something, write something, that chronicles the fucking shit this man has put me through for 15 years. I need to do something to show him that once this is all said and done, he is no longer welcome anywhere near me, or my future family or kids. He is no longer welcome to call, write, or email me, my mom, or my sister. I have do something that explains to him why it is wrong to accept two 100% complete strangers into your life as god kids and treat them well, when you treat your own blood family like scum. Ask him why he thinks it is ok for him to treat the people who are supposed to love him and he is supposed to love like the worse thing on the face of the earth. Why does he think it is acceptable for him to make a 14 year old girl feel sooooooooooo low that she cries for a week? I am not sure how I go about this but I need to do something to him to express my hatred and content for this piece of shit I refuse to call my uncle.
Rant Before I stopped talking to the girl, I called her to explain my problem with her current behaviour. It seemed like she didn't get that I find messages like "I've been thinking about you all weekend" a tad ambiguos and that I don't want to get something like this from her all the time after she told me she can't have something serious right now. She proposed that we don't have contact for some time. I agreed because I somehow just couldn't get my point across and had no better idea at the time. She was at the same party as me this thursday an talked to her cousin and another guy, which were both friends of mine. Explained to them how she behaved with me and basically repeated what she had told me. I was talking to my ex because I'm friends with her and hadn't seen her for some time, whereupon she tells my friend that "now I'm gone forever as I'm already talking to a new girl". Then she comes up to me and asks where some female friend of mine was at, I answer, she leaves. 1 hour later I get a text from her asking if I made it home okay and she also apologized for talking to me. Seriously? Where do I find these every time?
RAVE: Just got myself a new mountain bike. One that is actually the right size for me (XL 22" frame) instead of some random generic bullshit. Unbelievable how comfortable a bike can be when it's the right size.
Rave: 2 Week break before med school. Rant: Part of which is being spent cleaning out my closet at home. Rave: Because I lost the weight of a small child and therefore 90% of my old wardrobe doesn't fit. Rave: Traveling, bitches.
Rant: Ever gone to break up with a girl only to find out she'd bought you a late birthday gift? Not awesome, for the record.
RAVE: Mountain bike. 9 miles. Sweaty fun (though not as fun as other sweaty fun). RANT: Afraid to take my shorts off.
Rave: Yesterday was my birthday, Buddies from work/housemates took me out to a bar, paid for my drinks, and had a good time. Rant: I am hungover as a motherfucker because I had to be here for 6:00 am. I was still drunk on the drive here. Nerdy Rave: Every person that wrote on my facebook wall for my birthday recieved a haiku from me. I wrote every single person a unique haiku. 47 in total. I think I could speak only in Haikus right now. Rave: Girlfriend is driving up to visit for a few days, and she is cooking me steaks for dinner. Rant: I will be working 12 hour days while she is here, but Rave: she gets to hang out in my rig trailer the whole time. Not many people can have sex at work. I am one of the minority.
Rant: Why do dogs roll in nasty shit? If it isn't dead fish, it's manure. And they insist on rubbing right along their collars, so now their collars reek just as bad as they do.
Rant: My feet hurt, I think they might be about to actually fall tha fuck off. Rave: A beer and a blunt seem rather soothing to my toes. Watching Pineapple Express, deciding if I want to bail on the party I am supposed to be at. hmmm
RANT: After all that has happened, we received notice on Friday. We have to be out of our house in 60 days, for no reason whatsoever. We can not afford to move no matter how you swing it. We've already lost SO much because of this house, and now this. WTF.
Rant/Rave: Murphy's Law has been proven yet again: Lose something 9 months ago. Search everywhere. Finally buy a replacement. Find original within one week. Yep, just happened here at the house. The good news? Now I have TWO 10 round clips for my semi-auto rifle. Foxes and coyotes beware!
Gym Rantiage Rant: Fat chicks at the gym who spend 40 minutes walking at a snails pace on the treadmills. For some reason this shits me to tears. Rant: Fuckwit blokes who smash weights down. Show some control motherfucker. These same guys seem to spend as much time looking in the mirror as doing anything. Rant: Wogs, just like on the street just can't do anything by themselves. Have to hang around the weight bench in groups of 4-5 like they are having a circle jerk. Gold chains and skin tight lycra, talking loudly about "drifting". Stereotype much.
Rant: Apparently the ship that El Fiance is on broke down and most of the Marines were sent back to base. He managed to get an email out to me and it sounds like conditions suck a donkey's dick. He also just found out the his internet and phone companies are still charging him monthly bills even though he had all that stuff put on hold before he left. He even returned the internet router to his internet provider, so I don't know what the deal is. Hopefully I can get it straightened out this week so he doesn't have a ton of fees and bills hit him when he gets back (whenever that may be). It would also suck big time if this impacted his credit score.
Rave: Awesome weekend. Saw some good friends, hung out with my nephew, spent yesterday drinking at the beach... so good. Rant: Sunburns suck. My neck and shoulders, and a three-inch square of my thigh are throbbing right now. Wasn't even from the beach itself - it was from the car ride there. Rave: Convertibles, although impractical, are sometimes worth every penny you pay for them. Sunburn aside, yesterday was one of those times.
I am immensely jealous of you and cant +rep you at the moment,. Rave: Saw Tragically Hip, Weezer, and Broken Social Scene on Friday. Rant: Really dumb fanboys of the Hip who simply CANNOT accept that there might be, in the great world, be bands better than the Tragically Hip live. Rave: Getting prepped to sign my proper employment deal. No longer going to be wearing the "grad worker" label.
Rant: I'll second this. I sat outside drinking with my father-in-law on Saturday and ended up burnt... On the right side of my body only. I look ridiculous. I topped that off by getting eaten by flies while we sat around a fire, but that didn't last very long because of the goddamn hurricane or whatever that came rolling through. Rave: It was still a pretty fun weekend.
Relationshippy rant/rave spoilered for people who are bored / Don't care about stupid shit. Spoiler I live in a 6 person duplex, with three people on each side of the house. One of my friends has an internship away for the summer so he is subleasing his room to a friend of ours, S. S is awesome, a model who runs triathlons, who comes home and reads LotR and Enders game series and is down to chill whenever. When she moved in, I found out she had a boyfriend and thought of course, why wouldn't she, and didn't bother really flirting or anything, just hung out and talked and stuff. Two days ago we were talking at night while everyone else was out and she casually dropped that she was in an open relationship, since her boyfriend goes to another school both of them have open reigns to do whatever they want when they aren't together. I say that she must be quite mature to handle a situation like that, and we talk about it for a bit before moving on, I don't give it much of a thought because hey, I don't have much confidence. Later that night we decided to drink a little, and I went overboard on the amount of alcohol I could handle. I finished a fifth in about 3 hours and was plastered. I blacked out quite early and don't remember anything until I woke up the next day with a raging hangover. I talked to my friends who said they came back from the bar and were hanging out with us (which I do not remember at all) and saw that I was getting extremely touchy with S (also don't remember). So last night I apologized for the other night, about me being so shitfaced and everything, to which she replied "you know we hooked up right?" I was stunned, and initially thought she was fucking with me because of how drunk I was. But then she let out more and more details. I apologized, to which she responded "No need. It was a lot of fun. We didn't have sex or anything, but we made out for like an hour." Then we flirted some more and made out again, this time sober. She kept confessing small things about how she had wished this had happened sooner, how she and her boyfriend are going through a rough patch and hadn't talked in weeks, among other things. So now I have no clue what to do. She came onto me the second time (I swear! Haha). She could have denied me the first time if she was concerned about her boyfriend. I talked to her today, and apparently she was pissed at her boyfriend because he hooked up with someone she knew, but she was in an open relationship so she couldn't say anything against it. I don't want to be that guy so I told her it couldn't happen again. But I have the willpower of a small child. Here's to challenging my drinking record from the other night, today. Alcohol always brings out the best in me.
Rave: I set off 2 pounds of Tannerite in my buddy's driveway at about 2AM to scare him out of bed. Rant: The fucker wasn't home. God damnit.
On my way home some ass in a Lexus decides to pull over into my lane and immediately slam on the brakes to turn left. I slammed on my brakes and stopped mere inches from the offender's bumper. As I'm fuming over the douchebaggery, my mind processed several things: Platinum blonde and pink hair Vanity license plate proclaiming NoodQT Glittery whore costume hanging from hook in back seat Baby on Board sticker Apple logo sticker My road rage quadrupled in magnitude.