Rave: Canada Day tomorrow, long weekend! Happy Canada Day in advance everyone! I'm going to go celebrate by high fiving 18 year olds in the bar and visiting the doctor for free for a throat tickle. Then I'm gonna roll around in some prairie grass before taking my Jeep through the most beautiful mountains in North America, while drinking beer that isn't Budweiser and eating back bacon smothered in real maple freakin' syrup. And then I'll have a poutine for dinner.
Mega-rave: For the first time in five or six years I'm taking a week off of work to go to Northern Minnesota with my family. Its been about a 30 year tradition for my parents and I've gone with them most of the time, though not so much after I moved out on my own. Taking a boat (should say boot, cuz ya know its pretty far north. Like almost Canada eh?) and a jetski. Added bonus rave: I reserved the cabin that sits about thirty feet from the bar so it will be a short crawl to bed in the evenings! Minor rants: That's a long fucking drive up and back (minor rant because I love driving) and I've still got two days of work, day and a half now, before I leave. Enjoy the holiday weekend everyone! (Canadians can celebrate too, its like your neighbor's birthday and you're invited. Hell everyone can use it as an excuse to drink right?)
Rant: I've been good all week. I've been eating all the right stuff, lifting heavy, and doing cardio. And now today, I sit at home and work on my chem lab report and eat a ton of shit. I don't even know why I did it. I ate a handful of those nasty ass honey mustard and onion pretzels, some caramel chex mix, a chocolate cupcake (at least it had no frosting), and a cup of sprite. BLAH!
Rave Went to a sneak preview yesterday. The horror movie which was on was okay and 3 of my female friends screamed and turned away from the screen at even the slightest notion of something scary going on. Fun times. Rant Exams start soon Rave Only 2 this semester Rave Drinking tonight Rant I'm fucking tired. I can't sleep when I feel like I'm in a sauna, this goes on for way too long already, time for the temperatures to go down again
Rave: New CrossFit area is growing. Makes me jumpy clap. Rant: My kids are gone. Rave: Alone time with The Guy. Rant: the idiot I just got off the phone with needs to be glad he was out of reach.
RAVE: Got a job. Had a 40-minute interview, which is fairly lengthy for the industry, and this place doesn't leave much to be desired. Unless I was outright bullshitted for an hour, I'm going to be very happy here.
Rant: Formation run at 0600 tomorrow morning. Rant: Wing Safety stand down at 0800 tomorrow morning. Rave: Get my chance to talk to the squadron CO tomorrow after everything to convince him that I want and deserve my wings. Rant/Rave: Looong weekend to contemplate what he says.
RANT: My fucking boss won't let me work this weekend because it's my birthday weekend (My birthday is on Sunday). He told me if I showed up that he would break my legs, and to have a good weekend. Rave: It's my birthday I guess. Whats so special about turning 21? Rant: I really wanted to work this weekend.
Rant/Rave: I've been hearing this new fad of Himalayan Salt recently. Apparently, it's mined from mountains, where angels piss on rocks and turn them into glacier sized boulders of pure NaCl. So, I looked it up and this is part of the first few links: <a class="postlink" href="http://products.mercola.com/himalayan-salt/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://products.mercola.com/himalayan-salt/</a> This is hilarious. Fucking snake oil salesmen at their finest. Really? Changing the chemical structure of salt? Who is stupid enough to buy salt at somewhere around 1000% mark up?
Raaaaave! Tonight is going to be glorious. Pre drinks at mine consisting of goon pong and drinking games (I don't always live like young, poor white trash, but when I do...) with the housemates and some select friends, followed by Luxe for the best cocktails in Perth. Cocktail porn: Hoochy Mama: 'A monstrous measure of Havana Reserva rum, balanced with Martini Rosso, Gabriel Boudoir white creme de cacao, Havana Club Barrel Proof rum and a dash of demerara syrup, rounded off with a dash of both Angostura bitters and Mexican mole bitters. Delicate and refined.' Or how about the Pineapple Pie: 'fresh smashed pineapple fruit sweetened with butterscotch, cinnamon syrup and a tart passionfruit curd, lengthened with a generous pour of Ketel One and whiskey barrel bitters, shaken until creamy.' This bar is awesome. Upscale enough that you get phenomenal drinks and comfy lounges, but not so much that you get wankers in berets pontificating on the latest indie band. I've followed the head bartender around 3 different bars over the past 5 years or so, because he is a fucking artist behind the bar. He's just started getting into the molecular gastronomy stuff, and I should be getting a sneak preview of a cocktail he's made for a competition with some vanilla blueberry foam tonight. I am throbbing with excitement. I hope all you paragons of masculinity enjoy calling me a fag while sipping your beers, I won't be able to hear you over my ecstatic moans of pleasure. edit: Rave: I am definitely stealing Roxanne's signature for a pick up line tonight. With confidence and ignorance, success is assured.
Rant: I'm becoming/am a know-it-all. I read random shit on the internet all day and I pass on all of this "knowledge" as gospel. I usually preface it with a "I don't know shit about this" type of statement, but that doesn't temper my internal belief that I am correct. I'm having an increasingly hard time keeping my bullshit opinions to myself and an even harder time remembering I don't know shit about shit.
Rave: Just got done negotiating a new job where I basically created my own role...and getting PAID. Rave: Worked it out where I get a full 2 weeks off of NO work.
Rant: I've noticed it, but I can't stop myself. I've become the guy at work that corrects everyone's stupid little comments. I've lost my ability to censor myself in the face of stupidity. People are noticing and (rightly) starting to consider me the asshole at work.
Rant: Breaking up with the girlfriend tomorrow. Not looking forward to it. Rave(?): I'm doing it the right way for the right reasons. Still gonna suck.
Rave: CO recommended me to get my wings after he yelled at me for a good 20 minutes. That's one of three interviews down.
Rant: Soooo... I got off of work a little early, and went to my house to take a little 20 minute nap before I went to pick up the baby for the afternoon. I might have been at my house for an hour. When I walked back outside to get in my truck, I see that my entire back windshield was smashed into a billion fucking pieces. No fucking idea how the fuck it could have happened. Doors are locked, nobody tried to break in, no lawn maintenance workers to sling rocks, nothing. Just one big giant balled-up fist of buttfuck. And wouldn't you know it? I see it only an hour before most glass businesses close for a holiday weekend. Can't get anything fixed till Tuesday. So because my parents are down the river all weekend for the 4th and I don't have a carport, I went and put my truck under theirs to keep it out of the rain until then... ... Only I didn't see my dad's weight bench while I was backing under. Add a nice little bit of shit-potpourri in the form of a tailgate ding to sweeten my glorious buttfucking. So I'm drinking a beer now. Might as well get comfortable if I'm going to spend my weekend flushing money down the toilet. I'm sure the plumber will be happy. Plus, I need the beer to lube up my buttfucking a little bit before I start glass-cleanup duty.
Rave: holy fuck that was messy. Still drunk now at 11am. Highlights: ended up a strip club with hideous strippers, friend demanded his money back after seeing the talent. That went about as well as you'd imagine. Same friend rang his girlfriend to pick him up at 3am, when she had to be up for work at 5am. She told him to get fucked and he said '<ex> would have done it.' Ooops. A friend of a friend was telling me that one of my friends had been trying to hook up with her for years, I was totally blitzed and thought hmmm, I've known the dude for 13 years I've never known him to be a chubby chaser. Except instead of thinking it, I said it out loud. Apology already sent, but probably a little late.
Incredibly nerdy Rant: Fuck you Japan, fuck me twice for my completionist streak, and fuck FFIV The After Years thrice for this shitshow.. Really? A 0.4% chance of a tail drop on a rare enemy that only appears during certain moon phases? Fucking awesome. And I can't just continue the game even though I've got every character maxed out on every tale plus gotten all the good equipment from the challenge dungeons because, fuck me, I know the tails are still there. That is super. Just super.
Rant/Rave: One more day/night in the place I've grown up my first 24 years. Moving literally across the country to pursue a career that is inherently dangerous with nobody I know around me. So fucking nervous, yet so god damn excited. Its a surreal experience.