Rave: Got an e-mail offer by the time I got home from the airport Rant: They lowballed, bottom of the originally listed range. I'm 90% certain it's just the start of negotiating, but I've never negotiated salary before. I've always just given my salary requirements which have been met, leading me to believe I've been underpaid for a while. Rave: Pretty confident they'll meet me in the middle, which is what I was comfortable with to start. Woot!
Stupid, male aggression rave: I love watching guys that think they're tough get made to look like pussies. Last night, my roommate and I went out with a female friend of ours and a guy she knows. Other stupid shit aside, all night the guy was just making offhand comments about his ex-girlfriend (that he still lives with) that my roommate is friends with (and slept with a few times before, though the guy didn't know this and they weren't dating at the time), and then other just generally douchey comments about how tough is he, despite the fact that he's never been in a fight in his life as far as we know. Fast forward to going home. We're outside the girl's house about to go inside for post-bar drinks, and the guy says something offhand about wanting to jokingly wrestle with my roommate. They started and I laughed, the girl laughed, and both of them were laughing as they tried to throw each other into a snowbank, as many males do and will continue to do. My roommate has boxed from age 7 and started training MMA two years ago, and eventually just took the kid down into the snowbank, then laughed, and then the kid rolled him over. Then he throws a punch from on top. And another. I jump up from the car I'm leaning on and start heading over, my roommate tells me to just leave it, and tells the kid to relax. The kid throws a big elbow that connects, then just puts his forearm across my roommates throat. My roommate sweeps him (rolls him over) and mounts him, then just sits on the kid asking him what the fuck, as the kid flails around on the bottom. He looks at me and says "is he fucking serious?", I just stand there in shock, and the kid flails. Then the kid starts screaming about how my roommate needs to get up and walk away now or he's going to get hurt. My roommate says no, asks him what the fuck his problem is, then the kid LOSES it and starts screaming about how his family has millions of dollars, and he'll have my roommate and his entire family killed. My roommate says "you need to learn some fucking respect" then takes the kid's shirt off and throws it in the snow. The kid keeps screaming, so my roommate open-palm slaps him in the face and says "calm the fuck down", and the kid swings from the bottom, then rolls over and gives up his back, which means he gets choked. He gags, my roommate lets him go and says "are you fucking done yet?", the kid threatens to "get his older brother to fucking rape his slut sister" so my roommate rolls him over, cocks a hand back, then stops, says "you're not worth throwing my life away over", rubs snow on the kid's face, tells him he fucked the kid's girlfriend, then slaps him again while the kid flails around screaming again. Eventually, my roommate says he's done with it, tells the kid to stay down then just stands up and walks away. I stayed between them, and the kid starts screaming at me about how I need to get out of his way, I tell him to fuck off, and he storms up the driveway into the house that the girl has since retreated into as well. The whole way he's going on about how "we need to look over our shoulders for the rest of our lives", "our families are fucking dead", how "he's so well connected he won't even need to pull the trigger himself", and our personal favourite, that "my roommate is lucky he was allowed to stand up and walk away". I have never before seen a human go so completely insane for no reason and then get completely humiliated. It was like something you'd see on a school yard. He went completely insane for no reason, then had his shirt thrown off, snow rubbed on his face, then open-hand slapped by a grown male, then had the balls to say we were lucky we were allowed to walk away. Apparently he didn't learn his lesson completely, but that's the sort of experience that not a single man alive can look into a mirror and not think about for quite a while.
Rant: a friend of mine refers to women exclusively as chicks. I can't even explain how many times he's embarrassed us at bars with that very limited, very juvenile vocabulary. "Excuse me?" is the worst thing to hear when talking to new girls. Rave: philalawyers book has been a pleasant surprise.
Rant: I'm done touching pretty much everything in my house for the next couple months. Every time I go to flip a light switch, or open my fridge, or brush past the cat, I'm releasing so much static electricity that I see vivid blue sparks. I'm starting to develop a twitch. Rave: I found that if I hit the things that shock me hard and fast--not unlike a bank job or suspect pussy (thanks for the tip grandpa)--I can get away spark-free. Rant: The above rave led to a broken switch plate last night. Rave: Busted out the humidifier and we've got that thing running full blast for a little while.
Rave: There's a guy who looks like a shorter version of Dwight Howard ringing a bell outside my Wal-Mart and singing Christmas carols. The bad ones. Loudly. It's so thoroughly awesome. Ordinarily, I frown upon these charity terrorists exploiting the holidays like this, but I couldn't help but cheer up when I saw this guy. Were I not a poor college student who never carries cash, I might have tossed in 5 bucks. Rave: Know what an orgasm feels like in your mouth? No, no. Not THAT kind. Here's what you do: bake some brownies, and serve in a small dish in layered chunks. In between each layer, spread a small amount of peanut butter. Think of the brownie as bricks and the PB as the mortar. Microwave for 15 seconds or so to soften/warm the peanut butter and enjoy. In the words of Homer Simpson, mmmmmmm. Goes great with milk. Rant: Why is it that I can think of cool things to make like the above only when I get high? It's no spark of genius or anything, but this shit never occurs to me when I'm sober.
Rant: A family friend died in Bali on a holiday with mates. He was 20 years old. Makes me realise how lucky I am to have survived some of the stupid things I have done in the past.
RANT: I can not believe this happened. Being strung along for four years fucking sucks. Especially when you fall in love with the person who fucked you over. Four years in Europe, Asia, and the Middle East. I was so excited to come home to her and now she "doesn't know what she wants". What the fuck is wrong with women?
Rant: Cannot sleep. Last final exam is in 8 hours and I cannot get my mind to turn off. Rant: I had my mock practical exam for my certification at work today. It was awesome. Unfortunately, it was mentally exhausting, and now I have a splitting headache. I feel like someone hit my forehead with a bat. Rave: Skinny, black, velvet pants. I can safely go to at least one of my Christmas parties feeling cute without completely tearing what's left of my ligament. I have a sneaking suspicion I'll be rubbing myself all night. Let's face it, I'm a tactile whore, and I can't resist velvet.
Rant: England is cold Rave: Not as cold as Colorado Rave: Butter and cheese here is ridiculously good Rave: Think I found a Muay Thai and BJJ gym here 10 minute walk from my flat Rave: Job search is going well. Things are looking good.
Rant: I turn 30 on Monday. Rave: People like to give me money for this occasion. Rave: My oldest has his first real girlfriend at 5 years old. Rant: Son and gf were sent to the principal for hiding in the library and making out. He later tells me her tongue was kind of "sloppy." Rave: She says it was her idea. She's a ginger whore. Rant/Rave?: My son loves those little redheads. Years of this to come...
RAVE: only a week left of this fucking merch rotation (explanation below spoiler, it's long and boring) Spoiler I was hired as a recent graduate to a major grocery chain, they hired me for an unspecified IT role they'd determine later, likely in the database team (which is what I wanted and breaking in just out of a 2 year college diploma to any kind of Oracle work is a minor miracle), though there were a few caveats - I'd have to spend 6 months in the stores learning that side of the business as a very overpaid stockboy (wrapped up in june), spend 3 months in a different area of IT (I spent it as an intake specialist and sharepoint admin) and then 3 months in merchandizing. The stores and IT round 1 were fine, but Merch has been shit, 8 hours a day if you're lucky of pouring over meaningless excel bullshit, reading out data from systems that have no business still being used and copying them to new spreadsheets because people can't figure out why people are less likely to buy hot dogs at Christmas. I join the database team on the 21st and it can't come soon enough. Rave: going to the Habs/Leafs game tomorrow
RANT: Where were girls like that when I was in school? I only started making out with girls in grade 8. Rave: Brand new tires for my truck for the grand total price of free.
Rant: How the fuck do tire retailers stay in business? I mean besides the guy who has a blowout and doesn't feel like driving 200 miles home on a donut and will take anything? I spent the last two days trying to find snow tires for a couple of vehicles. Every fucking local place didn't have what I wanted, couldn't/wouldn't order it, and tried to talk me into some "all-season tires with REALLY aggressive tread". FUuuuuuuuck you. I want snow tires. Rave: Tirerack.com oh how I love you. Best price, fast/cheap shipping, and you always have shit in stock. I tried to support the local economy, I really did, but these stupid cunts couldn't get out of their own way. Rave: Going to see The Fighter tonight after a delicious Irish dinner. Steak, potatoes, and a bunch of beer and whiskey.
Rave: Got my snow tires on! It should snow tonight or tomorrow! I'm going to go do doughnuts! Rant: I hate hate hate being lied too! If you just want to fuck, tell me. There is no need to lie and spout bullshit. Don't give me false impressions when you're attempting to get my pants off, and the back pedal later. NOT COOL.
RANT: Our Expedition just puked up a spark plug. We just had that happen to us a month ago, and my mechanic changed all the plugs and heli-coiled two of the plug holes that looked bad. Had to have it towed back to the mechanic. RANT: My Pontiac got a flat. Have to order in a tire, because most places here don't keep 245/30 ZR 20s in stock. Note: If you ever live in RI, don't get 20s with low profile tires. The roads here have beat these wheels to SHIT. RANT: So we're down to a Pontiac on a donut and my 1988 Mazda RX7 Convertible which is lowered on coilovers, rear wheel drive, and has 255 35 18s out back. And it's going to snow next week. Fuck cars.
Rave: I've only had to replace the tires on my truck once in the 12 years I've owned it. I have all-seasons, and it's never been an issue.* Rant: Today it was -30*C (-20*F to you Yankees) IN THE SUN with windchill. Rave: I am skipping my company Christmas party, walking the dogs, boot camp - you name it - two sit at home, watch movies and hibernate with two dogs. Laugh if you want, this is my version of a good night. *Knock on wood.
RANT Why did I have coffee with the Ex? Emotions are dumb. RANT/RAVE Finals start Monday, it's gonna be a tough week but I can't wait to have it over with. RAVE I'm going climbing EVERY DAY over break. 5.10 here I come.