Rant Girls. Jesus Christ, can you get any more irrational? My girl wants me to go over to her place to spend the night tonight (and do everything else that it entails) even though her roommate is already asleep in their room. Now, this alone isn't a problem, since I don't like her roommate and my girl is pretty quiet anyways. However, she refuses to make the three minute walk to my apartment, where I have a room all to myself. Plus, I have a nice queen size bed, when all she has is an XL twin, which, as you may recall, is not optimally sized for either two-person sleeping or other extracurricular activities. Rave One day of school this week, then four days of home-cooked meals. And I don't even have to go back to my own home and deal with my family.
Rave: Drunkenly bought It's Always Sunny season's 1-4 on DVD for $45 on amazon a few days ago and it is now in my dvd player
RAVE: Bought and watched Star Trek yesterday, and fuck me, but that movie was just as great the second time around as I'm sure it will be on the 100th time around.
Rave: Finished my research paper last night, two days before the due date. The only thing I've ever been early for is Happy Hour. Rant: APA style conformity and formatting is for the birds. Rant: Fucker scheduled a test for the Tuesday after Thanksgiving. Rave: Still going to go see The Blindside and Ninja Assassin this weekend. Rave: Thanks to the advice of another member here, I'm getting a new sound system for my truck this Christmas!
Rant: Gopher hockey gets swept by UMD. Ugh, this ruined my weekend Rave: Vikings absoultely demolish the Seahawks. The only points the Seahawks score are against the second stringers. This isn't saying much though. Rant: I was red and yellow barring the entire weekend while playing Xbox Live. I'm not sure if it's my current router or my crappy internet connection, it was incredibly irritating though. Rave: My new router comes today. I've been needing this for a while. Rant: Mondays fucking suck.
Rant: Fuck Greg Olsen for missing two easy passes for TDs. Cost me my win against the league leader. MJD & Colston get minor F-Us for not living up to their potential. Rant: Strained and possibly slightly tore a muscle in my lower back. Rearranging the garage and man handling 400lb shelves around myself wasn't the best idea. Good news is I should be ok to resume activities during my vacation. Good thing because I wasn't planning on canceling my enduro motorcycle rental anyways. Rave: There's a Five Guys Burgers and Fries that I just found out about right down the road. Hello lunch!
I can't find the "Shameless Self Promotion" thread, but a lot of people have asked me to do this either because they like reading about my antics or they hate me and my hillbilly ways. So I set up a blog to document all my adventures and not clog the board with my stories. It's labeled NSFW simply because I use some rather colorful language at times. Chances of seeing a naked 500lb land manatee spreading her legs are probably pretty remote, unless I catch her passed out on my back forty fucking a bear. Because if you stumble across something like that it's just funny and no one is going to believe you without photographic evidence. Here y'all go: http://toytoy88.blogspot.com/ We'll see how this works out.
Rave: Finally on Thanksgiving vacation. Had to write a 36 page paper before the break began; I think my teacher is crazy. Why the fuck couldn't it be assigned over Thanksgiving break? Oh well, fuck it. Bring on the Turkey. Rant: 3 months without sex or anything sex related. Fuck. My game's whack.
Rant: The fucking back brakes on my bike gave out when I was getting to school today. Which fucking sucks because the front brakes are basically non-existent. So yeah, going without brakes for a little while at least.
You know what's really weird (I'll ignore your homophobia)? There's actually considerable debate over whether Lambert is gay enough. Like, people think he's trying to hide it for mainstream appeal. Seriously, what the fuck have these people been watching? He's gayer than 9 dudes blowing 10 dudes. Ray Charles could see that he's gay. RAVE/RANT/I Don't Know: You know the current Lady Gaga video? The super-fucked up one? I just figured out what the hell is going on. It took forever. And it's actually a rather creative short film of sorts. Hint: It involves human trafficking.
RANT: I hate my ball-less principal. I wish he'd grow a set for once. I'll never understand how he can possibly call parents in to expell a student and then come to me an hour later and say, "well, he's failing everything and a behavior problem but the parents don't want to take him out just yet. We're meeting again in three weeks." Don't WANT to take him out? Um...duh! Whose decision is this anyway? And guess who gets to deal with the little shit while this jackass figures out what happened to his testosterone?! Grrrrrrrr... GIRLY MUSHY SILLY RAVE: I'm so happy I didn't listen to my friends and completely kick my exFB to the curb once we broke it off. There's nothing better than someone who is twice as big as you and knows you super well to give you a giant bear hug, kiss your forehead and say, "I'm sorry you had a bad day." Better than Calgon. RAVE: Phish tomorrow for two nights. I'm going to smoke and twirl and dance all this stress away. Yay for hippies!
I have a thing for Iranian women. A big thing. This new SNL cast member might have me watching the show regularly for the first time in 10 years. Nasim Pedrad. That's the ticket.
Unless you're a 6'7" guy. Then you're either getting a hug and a sloppy kiss from an Amazon lesbian or a Grizzly bear. And from what I hear if either kiss your forehead that's a simple prelude to find out how your brain tastes when they take a bite out of your skull and proceed to eat your head. Neither choice is appealing, nor comforting. I'd rather take a bath in my ice cold stream minus the Calgon rather then be eaten alive. Focus: I think I shot one of the critters that drank my home brew. Something appeared in the bushes with yellow eyes and I fired at it. I hope to God it wasn't a Constable wearing aviator sunglasses. I could be in fuck you in the ass prison tomorrow if it was.
Rave: Christmas is coming. Why does this excite me? Because Jägerette loves the season. She is always a happy go lucky person, but around Christmas she is always glowing, and even happier, and it is even better to be around her. And she puts out more. Rant: I just went to the mail box and found an envelope from a casino I play at. They were offering me 2 nights in a suite for free and 40 bucks free play. I was stoked. Then I realized that it was in the wrong mailbox. I threw it away. Fuck those people next door
Rave: Done with one of my big ass hard papers. Rant: I didn't get to edit it as much as I liked. I can't for the life of me figure out why I couldn't write this all two weeks ago. That would have been ya know nice. Rant: Got more coming. yay.....
Over-due rant: My God, whoever came up with the Madden 2010 soundtrack needs to be fired/dragged from the back of the Madden Cruiser.
Rant: So the woman I rented space from for my business (she works in the space too, I left in August) called me today & said I owed her $350 for something I authorized (I didn't) through the phone company. Wrong. My name isn't on the account so I can't authorize shit, lady. She also didn't volunteer any information about who she had talked to who said "We talked to taste_my_rainbow"... no last name, no authorization, nothing. I don't know her account or banking info so how the FUCK could I add something on her account. I called the phone company and the woman there told me what she could (because I'm not on the account, see what I mean?) but said that there were no charges for 2009 other than the standard monthly charge. The phone lady advised me to just let her be mad since I had no legal responsibility for it. Ugh! I hate confrontation and this woman is a friend... but goddamn I'm tired of her shit. Rave: Idiots make me giggle. I was reading a review online and this was the last entry... Rave: The puppy is doing MUCH better. He's putting on some weight and isn't making the terrible "I'm-hurting-and-I-won't-suffer-in-silence" noises anymore. And he humped the lab tonight. Tucker the Fucker is back.
Rave: I made Adam Carolla's cranberry sauce today for a Thanksgiving pot luck at work tomorrow, since my get-together on Saturday's been pushed back to the day after Xmas. I was planning on using the schmucks I work with as guinea pigs, but having tasted it, they don't deserve it. Three ingredients (including water) rarely taste so good.
Rave - Staying with stepbrother and his wife in their new house. Drinking and good times... Rant - Woke up a few minutes ago to the unmistakable surge of vomit seeking fast freedom and coated their guest bathroom shower in an earth tone mixture of fruit juice and vodka. Sweating and disoriented from intense retching, I turned on the light to discover that I had also ever so slightly shit (bowing naked before the toilet) on the bath mat. I have diligently cleaned what I can and am preparing to return to bed, confident in the knowledge that if questions are raised my finger will be firmly pointed at their dog. PERFECT CRIME?