Rave: Page 420 in the R&R thread! Woooooooooooo! Blaze it up, fuckers! Rant: Fucking rained out again. Maybe I will get stoned.
Rant: While doing the NY Times crossword puzzle, a female fuckbuddy of mine asked for a four letter word for snatch. Apparently the word she was looking for was 'grab', not the one I blurted out. Believe you me.
Rant: Shark bait during MCMAP. Anyone who's done wrestling practice knows what shark bait is - you get into a group, and one guy goes against everyone else in the group. Then, once that guy's done, the next guy repeats the process. With our MCMAP class, you do ground fighting against the entire class in a row, for one minute periods (fighting takes place exclusively on your knees, starting in the clinch). There are eleven of us, which means ten straight minutes of ground fighting against people who are being replaced every minute. Because we only work out for about two hours a day, two people usually get put "in the ring" each class. It was my turn. I did pretty well compared to the other guys who had gone before me; I tapped the first three people out, one with a guillotine, another with an arm triangle, and the last one with a rear choke. Then the next guy came in - he's 6'7, 220 pounds, and just a freaking huge guy. I tried to move him in the clinch and failed miserably; I was tired out from the first three. And he beat the shit out of me. I ended up with him on my back trying to choke me out, and me in the fetal position trying to avoid getting my neck broken. I got horribly gassed out from it, and the next six people just crushed me. The worst part was that the place we were doing it in is made of shredded tires, so I got my face slammed and rubbed into this very abrasive surface while getting my shoulders wrenched and neck crushed. By the time I was done, I could barely move and had chunks of tire embedded in my forehead, nose, mouth, and everywhere else. "Omegaham, you look like you just got fucked by a gorilla." "Aye staff sergeant." "That rubber is really nutritious, by the way." My face is now horribly swollen, and I get pitying looks from everyone else. And I can't even say "You should see the other guy," because they're all fine, with the exception of one guy. Rave: I got pissed off at one guy, got him into the mount, threw a bunch of rubber on my chest, grabbed his face, and raked it back and forth across the chunks for half a minute. He didn't get as badly cut up as I did, but he wasn't happy.
RAVE: It's my birthday, bitches! Happy hour tonight with the GF, casino tomorrow (with the parents = birthday craps money!), and a hiphop show on Saturday. I'll sober up Monday...
Rant: I had a really, really good night last night. It started out himming and hawing over hiking my ass to jersey to see a couple college friends. I finally sucked it up and drove over. We started drinking, then smoking, then god knows what else. I woke up this morning on my friends couch, walked to the bathroom and was shocked by what I saw. Apparently, at some point last night, my fucking body decided it had enough of the substance-induced high blood pressure and capillaries in my face broke, leaving me with what looks like a rash, but is actually blood pooled beneath my skin. I'm a consultant. I get paid to show up and look like I know what I am doing. I can not show up looking like a homeless man coming off a five day meth bender. I am not using my accrued vacation waiting for this to clear. Doctor says it can take up to two weeks. Fuck.
Rave: Just got a call for a job interview for next week. It's with our facilities management services and will look really good on my resume, plus it will give me some spending money so I can start to slowly get off the parents tab (besides that whole tuition thing) Rant: They want me to do AutoCAD drawings. I know the basics of the program but I need to get some more down before I start. Plus it will be kind of boring. Anyone know a good tutorial program for AutoCAD?
Rave: All the lovely coeds strolling campus in their very short-shorts and tight tees. Rant: Not being able to do anything in relation to the above rave makes me feel like a diabetic in a candy store.
Rant: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck US Airways. Christ on a croissant I hate this airline. I've avoided flying them forever but since I wanted to get back home tonight instead of tomorrow AM I was forced to fly their "friendly skies". They've upheld their standard of never having on time flights. Fucker. Rant: Economic doom and gloom when we're supposed to be busy as shit. I'm going to enjoy assfucking the customers that are waiting until October to place orders for equipment they need delivered by December. Sure I can do that. Hahahahahaha. "What was that noise? Oh it certainly wasn't me laughing." Rave: I've got 40lbs of puppy love waiting for me to walk through the door at home. Nothing beats that. Nothing.
This Generation Is Lost Rant: I was standing in the express lane at Safeway today, and the woman in front of me had four or five items; two of those items were large, clear plastic bags of russet potatoes. The kind you make fries or baked potatoes with. The cashier picked them up and put them on the scale, then asked the woman, "Are these potatoes?" The woman, after a stunned silence: "What? Yes, they are potatoes." Cashier: "Okay! Sorry, I always like to ask because sometimes I'm wrong." When it was my turn she asked me, "Are these yams?" To her credit, her 'hunch' was right both times, so maybe it was just a stunning lack of self confidence I was witnessing. Here's to hoping, anyway.
Rave: Netflix in Canada! Rave: Mad Men is fucking awesome Rant: School starts Monday, meaning they are going to want money from me Rant: Fucking student loans have been jerking me around since May. They can go fuck themselves, hard Rant: I finally understand what my brother was saying about not living at home being awesome, 1 week, parents (specifically mother) are driving me nuts.
Rave: Excited for my short victory lap of college. Rant: Then I realized all but one of my friends graduated. I hate having to meet new people.
Rave- won easily in court today, the judge granted me a $2200.00 judgment against 2 pain in the ass tenants who would not pay rent. They both showed up in their usual tweaked out state with so handwritten receipts they wrote to themselves. The judge was not impressed, so much so he gave them 5 days to vacate the property and gave me an option to sue them for utilities. He also informed them that if they set foot on the property after next wednesday they would be criminally charged. Rant-My chances of ever seeing a cent from them are slim and none.
RAVE: A major consumer advocacy group published a large report last week, pushing their agenda of damning our industry. It was paid for by public money. The fools gave everyone to the raw data they based all their findings on. Not only is around a quarter of it invalid according to their own requirements (and they still used it) but they also didn't de-identify the study. This means that they've just handed out the names, addresses and phone numbers of the study participants to anyone who asked (namely us, the industry the study is against in the first place) placing them in breach of federal law. Bought and paid for by a government department. They shit kittens when we told them.
Rave: 21 today. I've been drinking in bars since I was 18, but it's still a nice feeling. Here's to not getting so drunk that I can't get wood. Rave: My 21st birthday is on a Friday. It's like someone is telling me I have to attempt to drink the town dry. Props are due to my parents on their good timing as well. Rant: Virology take-home test due Monday and a physical chemistry test the same day. Can't wait to contrast the reverse transcription strategies of hepadnaviruses and retroviruses or discuss the finer points of nested subgenomic mRNAs when I'm hung over tomorrow.
Rave: 2 weeks from now, I'll be waiting to board a flight to Cancún. Executive Rave: I'll be doing so from a Maple Leaf Lounge. Wife™ went ahead and secretly upgraded our tickets to Executive Class. She hid it pretty well, but caved and told me yesterday. I'm almost 6 and a half feet tall. The legroom is going to be fucking glorious. Rave: Ran into a random coworker upstairs yesterday afternoon. For bringing 2 envelopes to the basement for her to save her a trip, I earned a coffee this morning. Today has been upgraded from acceptable to good. Rant: Bowser has a vet appointment tomorrow morning. He won't stop licking his hind paws and he's starting to irritate them. Seems as though he's having an allergic reaction to something and we have no idea what it could be. He gets into everything, so it was only a matter of time, I guess.
RANT: My hatred for the dentist could not get any worse. If any of you have ever had a root canal you know the pain and torture that comes with it. However the new kick in the nuts is that you have to get a crown put on the tooth that had the procedure. Evidently by removing the nerves you create a dead tooth which can crack if it does not have a crown put on it. Long story short it's costing me $750!!!! I though insurance operates as a necessity, seeing I don't want my tooth to crack resulting in more surgery doesn't that constitute as a necessity??? I guess not because bull shit dental insurance only covers 45% of it. Absolute crap if you ask me.
WTF: there have been 2 Uggs spottings in the last 24 hours. Girls, this is dallas. It's 90 degrees and humid. You look ridiculous. Rant: I swear my lab partner is an imbecile. She can't comprehend the idea of muscle tone. Exercise? No....tone....as in I'm sitting in a chair and I'm not a puddle of goo. I've clarified at least 3 times.
RANT Well folks, I did it again. Went out on a work night and got absolutely shitfaced drunk. Did a little time traveling too! At 10 pm I was rolling right along with a nice buzz and having a really good time. Next thing I know it's last call and I'm discussing with the bartender the finer points of just how drunk I seem to have gotten. Not being able to drive, I went home with a random girl, and not being able to get it up, she decided to just grind on my half flaccid penis for an hour or so. It was a pretty sobering experience. A little later I took the plunge and drove home. Blew right through my alarm clock and I was well let's see...oh I don't know...2 hours late to work. As I type this I can still feel alcohol coursing through my veins. I haven't been able to look any of my coworkers in the eye for fear of sudden projectile vomitus. Thank god I only have two more hours of work. And oh, thank God it's Friday. RAVE It's Friday!