Rant: The next person to threaten to hit my dog is getting punched right in the fucking mouth. Who the hell threatens to hit a puppy?
RAVE: My shrimp kabobs turned out amazing on Saturday. RAVE: I got the motivation to clean my car. Turns out it's white and not dirt. RAVE: I'm gonna put at least 200 miles on the motorcycle tomorrow!
Rant: I don't understand how my room-mate can sit and fake laugh at a horrible Dane Cook video just to appease his new girlfriend. I understand that the relationship is new and everything is fucking perfect, but it was all just so fake. I've told my girlfriends of the past what I think is stupid and what I think is funny, and they did the same shit right back to me. Rave: Went to a good kegger last night and only spent 5 bucks instead of the usual 20 or so at the bar. Didn't have much female contact, but it was overall a good night and some hilarious stuff happened. Rant: One of my other room-mates drove home drunk when we told him over and over again not to. He tries to rationalize and justify it this morning by saying "I've been worse and driven." Stupidity has a name, and its name is Pat.
RANT: Holy shit I am getting NERVOUS. I am having trouble sleeping. Am I in way over my head? My mind is moving a million miles an hour. The reality of this is finally sinking in. Within the next few weeks my wife and I will be having our first baby. Right now I'm being a giant vagina and need to snap out of this. For the first time in my life I think I'm truly scared. As much as I thought I've feared or struggled, I haven't done shit. This is real. My fears are all about the unknown, things that at this point are out of my control. Strike that, this whole thing is freaking me the fuck out! RAVE: I know these fears are irrational. We've prepared ourselves as best we can in life....as best we can for when the baby comes home. Things are tough and life's been a struggle at times, no different than for so many people and we're probably a couple of the lucky ones. We are healthy, educated, hard working people. This baby is guaranteed to have an easier life than either of us had. We're prepared for this birth. We are as ready as we can get. As much preparation as we have done, the only thing we truly know is that we have no idea what we're in for. We have a birth plan but have accepted that things can and will veer from it. We know we need to just go with the flow and let things happen. It's out of our control. We are as ready as we can be. Same thing for when we're at home after the birth. We'll figure this out and be fine. This is surreal. I like to consider myself logical and rational and know that things couldn't be going any better for us. The health of my wife and unborn baby is beyond what we could have hoped for at this point. Yet I can't calm my mind. Sleep isn't going to happen tonight for a while yet, if at all. Time to pour a glass of whisky, put on the headphones and try to lose myself for a little bit.
Rave: Closing on the new house on Thursday. Everything is set, we just need to sign the papers and we're good to go. Rant: Moving for the 2nd time in a year. I fucking HATE packing and moving. Rave: Hiring movers this time. Rant: They charge absurd amounts of money, and for the money they're charging, they'd better not be lazy fucks or I'm gonna go off on someone.
Rant: First final Tuesday, followed by Wednesday and 2 on Saturday. I told myself I'd study like crazy last week. Unfortunately, I didn't accomplish nearly as much as I wanted. So no life from now till Saturday night.
Rave: Patriots Day. Gotta love an official/unofficial holiday that might only be celebrated in Massachusetts. Rant: I know they don't celebrate it in Greencastle, IN. Those fuckers have already called me five times this morning starting at quarter past 6.
Rave: I actually did something productive for the first time in weeks. I've been working overnights full time as well as being a full time student with morning classes. I usually only get to take a nap for a couple of hours before I have to either work or go to school. My only night off consists of whatever time I have after I wake up from sleeping all day Sunday until I have class at 10:40 on Monday. That schedule has been wearing me down, so after crashing for 13 hours (I'm usually lucky to get even 7 on any given day), I actually had enough energy to get up and clean my room, do 3 loads of laundry, make a trip to walmart, and bake a couple of quiches. Now I can just relax and watch some NCIS (and eat my completely non-faggy egg/cheese/sausage/spinach pie) until it's time to go to campus and start the cycle all over again. Rant: Woke up at ~2am, so I completely missed any opportunity to go to the bar Rave: I save a bunch of money by sleeping that late
Rant stomach flu rantier rant in bed, remote won't work, and morning news just went off and Jerry Springer just came on
RAVE: Awesome weekend of motorcycle racing. 2nd place in my first real race and I ran a faster lap time than the vaunted 1 minute 30 second mark at Willow Springs. My 1:29.7 equates to an average speed of 100.3 mph and I did it with stock forks.
Rant: Trying to sell your house sucks. We've been on the market for just over a week and have had 5 or 6 showings along with an open house. This is great and I'm happy people want to come see it, but it just really sucks having to get your house "showing" ready just about every day. We also have a dog and cat, so we always have to pack their shit up in the car and take them to my parents house. We've always heard that having pets in a house can deter potential buyers, so we pack up every trace of them. I just hope this is all going to be worth it in the end.
RANT: Birthdays suck. RAVE: This one wasn't too bad. Some nice messages left for me on facebook and sent to my phone. RANT: Internet fucked again. Jesus. Technician attending tomorrow to fix it, though. RAVE: New booby thread posts. Thank you, ladies.
RANT: Why oh why oh why do I keep torturing myself and saying yes to being in weddings. I'm fucking over 30 and it's really lost its luster. Bachelorette parties suck and showers suck even worse--being required to attend AND pay for part of it is really starting to frost my ass. I guess I should be happy that so many of my friends want me to be a part of their big day* but Jesus, this is ridiculous. And why oh why do these brides keep picking dresses that are supposed to be "universally flattering" but really are code for "holy shit your tits are huge!!!"? The latest dress is going to cost a fortune in alterations just to be able to cover the girls and hold the damn thing up. I am so not looking forward to this. I need to learn to say no. RANT: Job hunting is a full time job in and of itself. RAVE: Getting out of my current school will help me save money on xanax and hair dye. I absolutely adore the kids but can't wait to say fuck off to the shitty ass administration. Yippee!!! *or I could just be the ugly one and not realize it
Rave: This weekend was great, Fall of Troy was awesome live (except for the rather large population of emo hipsters who were hardcore dancing). I did get punched in the face by a coked out bouncer for absolutely no reason, but the only bad part about that is in doing so he knocked out my contact, so I was half blind at the concert. Shitty.
RANT: Stomach virus. Saturday night around midnight there was liquid out the back end and chunks out of the upper end. I never knew what it was like to do both at the same time, but I assure you it was something out of my worst nightmare. Thank god my tub is a foot from the terlet. I sent out Mr. Pink for Gatordate at 1:15am and by 2:15am, I told him to take me to the 24 hour urgent care clinic because I couldn't keep any liquid in my stomach. RANTIER: One Zofran shot later, I was sent home. The stomach cramps were so bad that I couldn't even sleep. And, nobody told me Zofran wears off in only four hours. Cue another vomiting in the tub. Why do I puke in the tub? More room. Projectile vomit would've been an issue with our little bathroom. RANTIEST: I finally felt like I was on the mend today. And of course, the curse starts. Fuck.
Major Rave No better way to take one's mind off womanly woes than by focusing on nerd rock. Just found out about Rush's Time Machine Tour. Looking at hitting up the August 14th show in Vegas. Rush? Vegas? Moving Pictures in its entirety? Fuck yes.
Rave: Hilarity at the gym tonight. A group of new guys came in to find out more about boxing lessons and training. Not bad people necessarily but rather a certain distinct type of guy. TapOut shirts, the use of the word brah, and generally douchebaggery involving stories about "bustin heads" at some party somewhere as they hit the bags a few times then rested. These guys show up all the time and usually don't last very long but in the meantime they provide some comedy. I was in the showers (set of 10 stalls with curtains) and two of the guys were already in there. If people are having conversations in there you can hear them because of the acoustics. After a few minutes I hear one of the guys say, "Hey Joe. Hey... brah, can you give me a hand shaving my back?" "Sure brah." I had to peek my head out of the stall to see if this was seriously happening. Paul, one of the trainers did the exact same thing almost simultaneously and we looked at each other in disbelief. I started laughing and I heard Paul cackling which made me laugh harder. I laughed for about 5 straight minutes at the ridiculousness of it. Rave: I'm going to offer a training program called "Knock Out Punch" which I will market to these guys since that's all they want to do. One punch, one KO. I'm going to be a kabillionaire.
Rant: My stupid fucking shoulder is about to give out on me, have x-rays and ultrasound on it next week. With any luck its minor and will be nothing to hard to fix. Unfortunately I think there is a fair amount of rubbish and damage floating around in there. Rave: Free medical.
Rant: Might have fucked my knee. Dude landed on me in a tackle and almost immediately a big egg appeared on the front, that has only partially disappeared 3 days later. Hopefully there's no structural damage and it is just bruised as fuck. This comes in my first game back after a month out after someone landed on my shin in cleats as I was on the ground, and punctured me in a half dozen places. Fuck contact sports sometimes. I haven't been able to squat properly for a month.