Rave: WHOOOO! in Mexico again! Rant: It's not acapulco or cancun.... so no easy chick's with bikini's.... Rave: Cheap Tequila none the less!
Rave: I had my annual review today. It was all praise and good words! I had been hearing rumblings that pay raises were 3% across the board this year. I got 7%!
Rant: Seasonal alergies are in full swing right now. Sore throat, stuffy nose, all the fun stuff. Rant: Due to this, I'm extremely sensitive to powerful smells and one of the women I work with decided to come into the office today drenched in Cherry-Scented Picnic Toilet perfume. It's killing me and my head is pounding. It's so powerful that I just ate a bag of chips and all I tasted was that smell. It's affecting me more than when I field dressed a gut-shot deer (which, those of you who know, is a smell worse than anything). I might just go out at lunch and buy some Vicks Vapor Rub to put under my nose.
Rave: Graduated. Rant: Writing a resume sucks. Rave: There's some cool opportunities available. Rant: Tired as fuck, didn't get much sleep. Rave: Didn't get much sleep because I spent the night spooning and making out with a chick I met. Rant: We stopped short of sex, she started freaking out about how she'd only just met me. Rave: That means getting laid is probably just delayed, not canceled. Rave: Getting $200 this weekend for some work. Gonna buy a smartphone with the money.
Rave: My buddy Baljit is coming back over from India. His uncles company is flirting with partnering with us to open a facility over there. We supply the designs and know how, they supply the customers. This kid is ridiculous. He was educated in England and had never been to the States before this winter. He loves giant pickup trucks and gets drunk off of one beer which is hilarious. He comes from an ultra wealthy family that has servants (slaves?) so he's incredibly rude and condescending to service people without knowing better but is generally a good person. Apparently he'll be here for two weeks which is guaranteed fun. Rave: Tim Wakefield pitching against Kansas Shitty tonight. Time to break out the jersey.
Get ready for the RANT of motherfucking RANTS: Shittiest morning ever? Most likely. First off I was greeted by my lady business over a week early, derailing my plans of getting laid this weekend. If that wasn't enough to put me in a shiteous mood, running my fucking car into a street sign because of all this shitty snow and ice oughta do it. Cue the bad woman driver jokes, please. Rave: Cop cut me slack and didn't give me a ticket for careless driving. Sometimes I like being good-looking. Also, not pregnant.
Rant: Please stop assuming that I'm a crazy bitch like all the other chicks you've been involved with. I'm not, and I never will be. Rant: Would it kill you to put out a little more? Rave Rollins was fucking awesome, best $15 I've ever spent. Rave: Taking over my friends lease, on a nice apartment. She needs to not work and recover from the cancer treatments, and I need a place to live. Win-Win minus the cancer and all.
RANT: One of the jobs I applied for shot me down. Ouch. RAVE: I find out today about the other one. I'm nervous about it, but it is the good kind of anxiety. RAVE: Tomorrow off, I cannot wait.
Rant: I work in IT. This is a rant from all of us to all of you. Fuck you people that feel the need to click on every stupid fucking flashing ad banner. Fuck you people that feel the need to install every goddamned application on Myspace or Facebook. In fact, fuck you people for installing anything at all. We set your machines up so you don't have to. We set them up a certain way because we don't like having to fix them every time you feel the need to google tubgirl, lemonparty, or meatspin because some asshole in the next cube over clearly doesn't give a shit about the company's policy on sexual harassment. I spent 4 hours cleaning up a computer for a rootkit virus. Why didn't I wipe out the machine? Because the way they've got licensing setup with Adobe means that a format and a reinstall = a lost license that costs four figures. People like you drive people like me towards drug and alcohol abuse. FUCK YOU ALL.
?????: About to turn in a comparative lit paper with the title: "No Weep No Mo' ". The paper traces the ideological shift in thinking about wars effects in the context of Stephen Crane's "War is Kind" and Eliot's "The Waste Land". I think it's a super clever title, if you know the original title of the waste land was "He Do the Police in Different Voices," and then the refrain in war is kind that reads "do not weep/ for war is kind". I just hope the professor gets it and doesn't look at me like I'm a racist retard. The professor gets off on local color and verisimilitude in a major way though, so I think I'm good. Rave: Friyiyiyiyiday. Bow chicka what?????? Yeah, thats right. Buddy is playing with a reggae band on campus later, so I'll get drunk and go see that. The funny? He's 5' 6", chubby, and jewish. Playing in a reggae band with straight Hawaiians. In his defense, he's cool as hell, and can play a mean guitar.
Rave: The ex is FINALLY getting his shit outta my apartment this weekend. HOORAY!! Rant: He had the audacity to ask me if I could "buy some groceries for the kids" because he is broke. I explained that I can keep the boys until he can buy some groceries on his own. The man has been working for two months and staying at his brothers rent-free. How is he this broke?! Oh yeah, not my problem... Rave: Just got the boys' hair cut into fauxhawks, one has blue hair, the other green. Punk rockers.
Rave: Now I know that the MLB season is only five days old, but clearly the Toronto Blue Jays have established themselves as the team to beat in the American League East, and a World Series is practically a sure thing. Riigggghhhtttt. But heck, I'll take a 3-1 start to the season. I know that come June I'm going to dread the fact that I cheer for the Blue Jays, but at this early point of the season they have given me little to be angry about. Rant: It was 20 degrees and sunny here yesterday with no snow and today we've got a blizzard. Saskatchewan weather can fuck off. Rave: But on the plus side, I don't have to drive the hour and a half to call Game Six of a championship series tonight, and instead I'm going to watch more MLB, burn a couple, and have a night in with the girlfriend. Rant: Why is it that every single defenceman for the Vancouver Canucks is either useless, out of shape, or held together by duct-tape, bandaids and cheap glue? I really hope they don't play Detroit in the first round.
Rave Jenny Mcarthy's school for Autism shutdown today. Fuck yeah. Fuck her complete lack of empirical data for her bullshit theories. Fuck her ten years ago when her face wasn't sinking into her skull and her breasts were six inches higher. Fuck her using decade-old Playboy pussy to get Jim Carrey to fund her retarded schemes. Even he got tired of your skin flap. Finally, fuck whatever career she had outside of taking her clothes off. I barely remember anything she did, but I do remember her picking her nose while wearing a hot ass dress, destroying my boner and trying to be funny. Jenny, I'd fuck you 10 years ago, I'd fuck you now. But only in the mouth. Both to shut you up and I don't want an autistic kid since that's what your uterus likes to produce.
RANT (unrelated to the above one): People who don't understand the words they use. Not all prejudices spring from racism, sexism and the rabid polarization of politics are two fantastic examples of prejudicial ways of thinking that have nothing to do with race. Learn a new fucking word, don't just keep calling people "racist" like it's some sort of protective talisman that will guard you from criticism.
Rant: Cops suck, Even though my step dad is the deputy Chief in the town I grew up in. Well, they aren't so bad. They keep us safe, I'm just bitter because I like to drink. They set up fucking mobile check points all over the place tonight, so instead of going to the bar with my friends, I drank at home alone tonight. Of course, thats not always a bad thing, I was just looking forward to drinking some beers with my friends. Rave: I did a self imposed break from the TiB, just to get away for a bit. I think it was a good thing, but I missed this place. Good timing on the I have LOTS of friends. On-line... thread, because I really enjoy this place. I just needed a break. Rave though, because the self imposed sabbatical is over now.
Rave: I'm against vandalism, but this is hilarious. So the pope will be here next week... Spoiler For those of you who didn't notice them, those two black bears are pedobears.