Rave: Watching your roommate come out of his room with a coy grin on his face as he shoots a flame out his ear. Then watching it recede back in to a smaller blue glow as it continued to burn the remainder slowly. Then watching him freak out and try to pat it out.
rave you know, if you're ever feeling bad about yourself, go out buy a 50" plasma, and get a blowjob. I assure you your outlook on life will change for the better. rant the new tv looks absurd in my small livingroom, but fuck it. also, now I gotta upgrade the whole sound-system. booyah.
Rave: You Wonderful drunk Americans! 30 cans of Coors and 18 cans of Bud Light for 35 dollars! No wonder you are a bunch of raging alcoholics!
Rant: Applying for jobs is an incredible pain. I hate all these companies and organizations who make you go to their own job site and create a user ID. Then you're supposed to upload a resume, the site's going to read it and automatically fill in the form for you. Awesome. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. The site is an idiot. It omits stuff, switches stuff around and all around sucks so I just wind up filling in everything myself. And all the sites seem to be different so even auto-complete isn't much help.
Rave In an effort to annoy the wife, one of the great pleasures in my life, I've decided to grow a handlebar moustache. Rave I'm past the itchiness stage. Rant I have to get used to food and drinks remaining in my 'stache after I'm done eating. It's kind of gross, yet, kind of cool.
Rave: Started Insanity this week. Rant: Started Insanity this week. Rant: Roommates and neighbors are going out tonight but I can't go because I have 2 presentations, a paper, and a test coming up. Boo.
Rave: Drove to Kansas to visit my sister today, it's always fun to hang out with her when it's just the two of us. Rant: The main reason she wanted me to visit is because she had a doctors appointment. She was getting her glucose tolerance test and had to hang out at the hospital for an hour before they could take her blood. It was pretty boring and wasted most of the time that I was there to visit. Rave: Got to hear my little niece's heartbeat.
Rave: I received the final confirmation that all my references checked out for my new job and my background check is finally done, thank god. I shouldn't have been worried, I have never committed a crime and have great references, but still had the small fear my District Manager from my last job would somehow attempt to throw in some comment that would make me look bad. Rant- I don't understand Lost, which I get is sort of the point, but I feel like I don't get it more then others.
Rant: My roommate is a screenwriter who's about to attend film school in LA, so consequently, he writes a bunch when things tend to inspire him. Well...apparently my fucked up relationship with my (aforementioned) best friend has inspired him to write a screenplay. Awesome. Now the entire world will know my dirty laundry...I wouldn't be that worried except for the fact that I know how good this guy is. He's 22 and already has a legit manager shopping around 2 of his screenplays in Hollywood, so the chances of this seeing the light of day are fairly decent. Ehh, oh well. I've got a bad case of schadenfreude, so it'll be interesting to watch my life unfold in a movie.
Rant: I just received an email from a customer that I'm friendly with announcing his retirement. He's 35 year old. Made a shit ton of money from recycling plastics and equipment. Banked all his earnings and has now sold the two companies to an investment firm. I'm jealous. Rave: I have the best mechanic in the world. He's never blinked an eye at any of the projects I've asked him to tackle with the turbo toys I drive and he's honest to a fault. Service on my Viggen was quoted at $1,600+ at two local stealerships, he just texted me my bill... $545. Awesome. Independent garages are the best. Rave: Dog sitting two pooches for a week. A big floppy lovable golden and a shy cuddly Husky. Both dogs are awesome and have hung out together before so there shouldn't be any problems. I wish the roads were swept because I could have them pull me on my long board.
Rave: Just clocked Ghosts 'n Goblins on my arcade machine. No one will probably appreciate how huge of an effort this is but it is pretty much on par with fucking twins. Although more people have probably fucked twins.
I was lying in bed last night thinking about this conversation I was having at a bar last weekend. The topic of said conversation isn't important, but rest assured that it was irritatingly mundane. So much so that I wondered what might have happened if I had made eye contact with the person speaking, leaned in, very quietly and calmly spoke the word 'Stop', and then shit myself defiantly. Just straight up crapped my fucking pants in protest of the whole worthless dialogue and let the chips fall where they may. People don't test the limits of human interaction nearly enough.
Rant: I was awakened at 4AM this morning when my radio toned out calling the fire department. Rave: I resigned from the fire department so I got to hear this whole mess develop from the comfort of my couch. (Note: Our Chief went out on the call.) Dispatch: Attention fire department, we have a vehicle fire at (Address). Be advised the vehicle is fully engulfed. (Numerous people report in that they are responding and a couple minutes later I hear the tanker go by my house.) Dispatch: Be advised the woman was asleep and when she woke up her car was on fire. Chief: Dispatch, you may want to call the sheriff...cars don't just spontaneously combust. (Actually he said they don't internally combust, but it was 4AM and we all knew what he meant.) (A few moments later Dispatch: 101, be advised the front gate is locked. She's trying to get a hold of her boyfriend to unlock it. Chief: (In the most What. The. Fuck? voice I've ever heard) How did she get in if the gate is locked? Dispatch: 101, she's afraid of the dark. (I fell apart laughing at this point. The woman has the equivalent of a Viking funeral pyre in her front yard and she's afraid of the dark? Any wild critters would've vacated the immediate area long ago.) Chief: Dispatch I'm in front of the gate. There are no lights on and I don't see any fire. Please verify the address. Dispatch: (Repeats address and adds) It the first house on the first curve. Chief: Dispatch, does this woman actually know where she is? I grew up out here and the name isn't familiar. I'm not going to break down the gate, that's a good way to get shot if this is the wrong house. Dispatch: 101 she's 3.5 miles up (Road.) Chief: (By this time I can hear him muttering to himself) That's 3 miles from here, that's the old (Name) place. I'll be there in a couple of minutes and tell her to have the gate unlocked. Dispatch: 10-4. (About a minute later Chief: Dispatch, call (Nearest community) FD. My truck is sunk and on the ground. I'm pumping water out to try to lose some weight. Dispatch: 101, I toned them out twice and no one replied. Chief: Dispatch, I'm going to need a wrecker to get my truck out. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- I really can't wait to hear the whole story behind this cluster fuck.
Rant: Dumbass supervisor who hires his even more of a dumbass nephew. Rave: Shotguns, clay pigeons and beer this evening. Stress relief at it's finest.
Rave: I may be playing in a flag football tournament tonight for a buddy's team. Rant: If I play, I have to go buy a mouthpiece. Who the fuck needs one for flag football? I fucking hate shopping.
Rave: I just got over my 2 day-solid liquid shits. Rant: Loss of appetite, and everything I eat makes me want to puke (if anyone has suggestions on foods to help a queasy tummy, do tell). I am so weak and walking to the student center 8 minutes away completely saps my energy.