Rave: I had a friend ask me in all seriousness if I'd considered "suing Mexico" for my moped incident. I laughed so hard my ribs cracked more... Rant: She proves that you can, in fact, smoke too much weed.
God how many months days hours can a person live with monotony before cracking? How many glasses of cheap wine does it take to dull the bitter ache of resentment at yourself for wallowing in standing still? How many pleas for the strength to leave until the epiphany strikes that you weren't meant for this type of stilted stance of utter nonmovement? How many nights? Of pretending you don't hate the other face that stares through you simply for staring through you again? Christ, what a pity party I am throwing right now. Ps: I don't recommend paging through and stopping at every sad iTunes song you own when you're hating your present state of station. psx2: it takes one ONE stupid yet again sink full of "i-dont-care-that-youre-really-sick" sink full of dirty dishes to make a person lose their soul. That's it. That and some Vonda Shepherd songs. To make a woman realize its time to go already.
Rant: 84% on my Aerodynamics I exam. I passed is all that matters. Rave: 96% on my Weather exam. Rant: Aero II exam (this is gonna be hard as hell) on Monday followed by Engines exam on Thursday. Rave: Engines are freaking awesome to learn about, especially turbojet and turbofan engines. Awesome, awesome concepts. Edit: Just realized I could explain exactly what's in my profile picture and which parts do what in it. Rant: Navigation starts Monday. This means sitting in the classroom for hours after class has ended in order to finish all the homework problems. Rave: 1/3 of the way done with the academics. Two weeks till we get our flight suits, and a three weeks until we get to the fun stuff!!! Rave: Things are going swimmingly so far with the neighbor chick.
RAVE: Canada won hockey tonight, and Vancouver is crazy! RANT: I'm not in Van, but the burbs, in a bar, with boring friends, getting drunk, TiB'ing on my iPhone, and the bar is dead. Would rather have a cute chick to ravage, but so far only the 65+ sabre toothed tiger has propositioned me. (For real). If anyone is near Mission, hit me up... come out and get fucked up with us. Already called in sick for tomorrow. RAVE: Old chick offered me more than Chater made last time he worked the pole. (Cab fare, which is min $20 around here). RAVE: Some of the best nights ever have started like this, so I have hope. Tonight is what we make of it. Must find better looking and younger women though, before we get too drunk, or it will be bad. Very bad.
Rave: Driving down to see my marine friend tomorrow. Little does he know, there are chocolate chip cookies and blow jobs in his immediate future. Rant: Leaving at 6 am so I hit LA before rush hour. Rave: The sooner I get there, the sooner we are drunk and naked.
RAVE: Just got a new piece. It's a little mini pipe because my roommate doesn't like weed [the only downfall of this spot] so I can go right outside our place and hit a quick bowl. It's name: Evander Bowlyfield. It's also nicknamed The Real Deal, or RD for short.
Rant: You ever look back on your childhood through the lens of an adult and think of how fucked up it was? Sometimes I'll see my best friend talking with his father and it takes everything I have to choke back tears. Not much else elicits any emotional response from me, but seeing a happy kid with his mom or dad or whomever breaks me. I used to go to therapy and I would sit there just looking at the therapist not able to talk about any of this. Sometimes I would cry, but I could never talk about it. There is just such a strong block there. It's crazy the kinds of defense mechanisms a person can employ. ... and that's my 5 minutes of self-pity for the week, back to studying liver anatomy.
Rant: Traveling by air. Commecial flying. I swear, they're trying as much as possible to screw it up so bad that no one wants to do it anymore. The woman in front of me at the security checkpoint filled up FOUR containers to pass through the x-ray machine, plus her carry on. And she waited until she was at the front of the line to dig for her bag of liquids, and she had burried her laptop at the bottom of her briefcase, and and and. AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS AHEAD IN THESE CIRCUMSTANCES? I had my purse and my jacket, that was it. No electronics or bottles of water. I didn't set off the metal detector when I walked through, 'cause when I got dressed that morning I knew I'd be flying and DRESSED ACCORDINGLY. People drive me fucking nuts. Rant: No dogs. For the first time in a year and a half. Life without dogs BLOWS. The bowl of icecream I had last night? No one wanted to lick it clean. Sleeping in bed? Was creepy quiet because no one was laying at the foot of the bed snoring. How do people function without dogs? I don't get it. Rave: Seeing all the family and not having to work for a few days.
Rant: Had one week off and got nothing productive done during that time. Fucking CoD. Crunch time, let's see what I can get done in one day so that I can still have the weekend off. Rave: One of the girls I'm talking to texted me last night if she could cook me a lasagna today. Who in their right mind would say no to that?
Rave: Funemployment is over for me. After 4 1/2 months, a move of 2500 miles, I start working again. Start bouncing tonight, and the real job starts on Monday. Ought to be interesting. Should end up working 50-60 hours a week, and 6 days a week. Hello sense of self-worth improving.
Rant: The people that just moved in next to me are angry and possibly insane. Rave: I spent 20 minutes listening to them yell at each other this morning. From what I gather, he's an out-of-work black guy who "sits at home all day and plays video games while [his white girlfriend] works two jobs and cleans all his shit up when she gets home." This is apparently something she no longer wishes to tolerate. The conversation ended with her telling him to fuck off. Following the "fuck you, fuck off" comment, he expressed that she's "caught up in all of that white girl shit and that she can talk to her parents like that but his momma didn't raise no pussy." Rave: I just discovered Maury's secret studio.
Rant: Full on stood-up last night. First time it's ever happened. Text messages ignored, phone calls ignored, this on plans confirmed the day before. She wasn't even all that cute which for whatever reason makes it more frustrating. Rave: Couple of my buddies were at the same bar playing pool so it still turned into a pretty good time. Rant: I suck at pool.
Rave: One of my professors decided to split the first test into two sections: (1) a multiple choice exam administered in class on 3/4, and (2) three take home essay questions due 3/1. This also moved the test date away from the day I have another exam scheduled. Rant: The response to each essay question should be about 5 pages. Rave: It still beats working for some soul-sucking corporation.
Rant: Listened to my downstairs Mexican neighbors boning for two hours last night while I was tying to sleep. It wouldn't have been so bad, but I couldn't understand their dirty talk so it was wholly unentertaining for me. Rant: I miss sex... with another person. I actually wondered what they would do if I knocked on the door and said "¿necesita una mano adicional?" Rave: TAX RETURN! Rave: Bought the boy's birthday present with part of it. When he gets back from the Persian Gulf, we're going SKYDIVING!!! 10,000 feet bitches. Rant: I hate my job. I think I'll get another one instead.
Rant: Someone PLEASE hire me! I'm a hard worker and a quick learner, I promise. Does that even matter? No. It doesn't. Know where I applied? Somewhere that steals a bit of your soul everytime you enter the place. Somewhere that you don't even need a high school education to apply (and I have mine, I should get the job based on that). Fucking Wal Mart. If them not hiring me isn't a slap in the face, I don't know what is. What is post secondary education good for anyways?! It's not good for anything if there's barely an industry for the line of work you've specialized in, and then you're broke from paying student loans and not being able to find a job, and then you're doomed to apply to places like Wal Mart and friggin Best Western. Goddamn. Rave: The only rave is that I have enough wine to make the embarrassment go away.
Rant: The other student worker at the university I work at forgets to do at least one thing when filling out forms and I have to go back and fix them all the time. Sure it is boring, tedious work and I occasionally make mistakes but she makes mistakes constantly. Rave: The middle age women I work with like me because I don't mess up nearly as much and think I'm a genius compared to her. Hopefully this leads to some good references for my 'real' job search. Rant: Had an interview, and was denied. At least it was some more experience with real interviews. Rave: It's the weekend. Once I leave work at 4 I'm heading to the store to purchase some Captain and beginning my usual weekend of drinking, smoking and playing COD. Rant: I don't have any green as of right now. Hopefully this changes soon.
Rave: Picking up the little boy I nanny for on the weekends this afternoon from daycare. I haven't seen him in 2 months (they don't need me if one of them can be home). Damn, I've missed that little Mexican. Rave: Heading to the new man's house afterward. Rant: I have to work again at 6:30 in the morning so it will be an early night.
Rave: Absolutely glowing performance review at work from the manager who I thought hated me. Followed by a big promotion on top of a yearly raise. Rant: I suck at reading people. I'm always disappointed by the people I think are great and pleasantly surprised by people I think suck. Rant: The women at work keep getting fatter. And pregnanter. Rave: Money.
Rave: Lost my virginity at 17. Rant: She's a tubber. And a whore. Rant: Hickeys that will have to be explained in the next few days, going back to school and all. Rave: She's clean and she was awesome. Rant: Will live in dim horror that she could be pregnant, however unlikely it is (I was a smart kid and used a condom), for the next few days.