I love how most people here would use the power of time travel to go back and influence the outcome of sporting events in which their involvement was, at most, as a spectator. That's odd just by itself, but also oddly selfless in a way...
I'd jump on a plane from Calgary to Ottawa on November 16, 2007 and show up at my cousin's dorm room. I'd go with her to the hospital and demand that she be properly treated, not swept aside with some IV and a taxi ride home with a diagnosis of 'flu-like symptoms.' Once the blood work was actually read and the doctors realized what was happening, my work would be done. The irony is that - due to a host of circumstances - if she hadn't died that week, I might have died the next year. Maybe SHE would be posting here instead of me, talking about how she would get on a plane and fly to Africa.
My only serious regret in life is the year before my grandfather died (who I saw very little of), he sent me my sister and brother £50 each one Christmas. Being a self-centred and somewhat selfish kid, I never bothered to write to him (which I new he loved) or even give him a phone call expressing my gratitude. My sister sent him a letter thanking him and I glanced at the reply she got one day, where he explicitly mentioned that out of all his grandchildren she was the only one who contacted him to say thank you. I felt so ashamed and infinitely more so a year later, when he died and I still hadn't spoken to him much. Besides a brief one hour visit the week before he died. So yeah, I have very few regrets, but I have little doubt if I could go back in time for one thing it would be to take 5 minutes to write my grandfather a letter.
I loved the original show but missed the series finale. My older brother told me, at the time, that Sam leaps into himself and fixes a wrong in his life and then remains himself. That always seemed like a satisfying ending to me. But I guess it's inaccurate. Wikipedia had this summary.
I would have gone back as George Bush Sr during the gulf war and toppled the Saddam regime when we virtually had global support for the coup. At least we'd have half of the problem solved. Or I'd go back to 2007 as Mike McCarthy and give Favre the boot right after GB won the coin toss going into overtime against the giants. Over his career he just makes one less pass for my team right? Maybe if he was ego was shattered by being benched at a moment like that he'd finally just curl up into a ball and die.
I think sports things like this come up because they're the easiest to think of when prompted: Scott Norwood and hitting the field goal, winning the first Super Bowl for the Bills ever. Calling the "Music City Miracle" correctly (it was a forward damn pass, you can tell clear as day that the guy is standing on one side of the line and the catch takes place on the other side). Calling No Goal correctly. As not a goal. Being Bill Buckner and fielding the damn grounder. Those are just 4 off the top of my head.
I'd want to be Ralph Wilson, and demand the team use the 194th draft pick of the 2000 draft on this Brady kid outta Michigan, rather than Leif Larsen.
Director of programming at ABC... "You know instead of canceling Better Off Ted, I'm gonna move it to Wednesdays and have it air before Modern Family, as it's easily better than The Middle and Cougar Town" Goddamn you to hell ABC, even though I'm eagerly awaiting the return of Castle.
First I'd travel back to May 13th, 2004 and whack Derek Fisher in the knee. Then, I'd travel back to May 22nd, 2006 and remind Manu Ginobili that layups are only worth two points. Say it with me: FivePeat
I'd be Tim Wakefield in 2003 and I'd not throw a knuckleball, instead I'd throw a... ah fuck I've only got one pitch. Damn you Aaron Boone. I'd be Grady Little and I'd pull Pedro after a fine outing and put Mike Timlin in to finish it off.
Id go back in time and start dating the girl im currently dating 5 years earlier, Id save myself so much bullshit. To make sure when I switched with my younger self again that I didnt fuck it up, Id have Al Calavecci explain to my younger self in the waiting room the importance of what Im doing and why dating that cum-guzzling succubus instead is a bad idea.
May 27th, 1993. OT of Game 6 of the Western Conference Finals, tied 4-4. The Great One high sticks Dougie Gilmour right in front of Kerry Fraser, who, by all accounts, was NOT obstructed from seeing that play, and does not penalize Gretzky for the infraction. Cue a few plays later, Gretzky nets the winner, which zaps all the momentum from TO, who go on to lose game 7 and the NHL world is forced to watch a Cali-based team play the Habs in the 100th Anniversary of Lord Stanley's Cup instead of seeing one of the most storied rivalries in all of sports history battle it out in such tremendous fashion. So what would I do? Shave Fraser bald before the game to ensure he doesn't get on the ice? Nope, wouldn't do that. Make Don Van Massenhoven ref the game by phoning Fraser and telling him if he didn't give the game to DVM or his precious styling products would vanish from his vanity? Nope, I'm not that cruel. I would make sure Gary Bettman was NOT made commissioner of the NHL in February 1993 so he would NOT build up such a huge man boner for making the NHL a viable market in cities where no one knows WTF hockey is, and so he would not be all butt hurt that Canada, with it's inferior dollar and polite residents, owned the game in such a dramatic fashion. So, fuck you GB. You cost my team a shot at history. All so you could watch as Gretzky got dominated in 4 games by the Habs (who I fucking hate)
Huge and Historical (well, to me): The end of the 2003 Super Bowl. With the game tied, John Kasay sailed a kickoff out of bounds, giving Tom fucking Brady the ball on the 40 yard line and dooming the Carolina Panthers to defeat at the hands (foot?) of an Adam Vinatieri field goal. I'd do something to make sure that kickoff stayed in bounds. Would Tom Brady have orchestrated a game-winning drive anyway? Would the Panthers ultimately have lost in overtime? I don't know. But giving away the Super Bowl in that fashion was heartbreaking, especially after such an amazing amazing game. Personal: I wouldn't have moved to Boston last year for a girl. I think this is the kind of advice most people will ignore until they make the same mistake themselves, but seriously y'all: don't base any major life decision on a significant other unless you're married. I had some good times with her, sure, but in the end it feels like a wasted 10 months. I'd skip them if I had the choice.
I would go back in time to last Halloween and not get my ex's number after my originally planned one-night-stand. My life would be better off right now had I not entered into a relationship with her so quickly, and retroactively ruined the first 7 months of living in Houston. Now, I've lost all the friends I had through her and its like being back at square one nearly a year after moving here.
Warning: The link contains spoilers for Hot Tub Time Machine, but it also discusses a very important line of thinking. http://moviesblog.mtv.com/2010/03/29/hot-tub-time-machine-finding-sadness-in-a-happy-ending/ FOCUS: I would stay away from my life. Dropping out of college twice? ehhh. DUI at 17? Who cares now? Being stupid with debt for a period? No big deal. Not realizing I was being cheated on? Drop in a pond. I believe that what you are today is a result of your struggles. How spoiled and naive would I be if I didn't know what its like to work hard for a living? Would I show the same passion now? Would I drive drunk at the toss of a hat? Would I take bigger chances with debt at a BAD time in my life versus a point where I could work through them? If you could do 1 thing over again, what happens if that 1 thing wasn't the thing you should have done? What if it denied me Mrs. Jones and my kids? That's alot of pressure.
Probably go back to Versailles, try to be all "does President Wilson have to choke a bitch?" I can't think of a point further back in history that quite as clearly leads to the events of this past century that I don't like (colonialism/the poor transition from it, WWII, stuff like that.) WWI provides a good reset point, seeing as the European colonial powers should have been too weak to hold onto their colonies if the USA put pressure on them, a shattered Germany has a chance to be rebuilt in much the same manner that West Germany was rebuilt, instead of the wacky-Nazi way it was rebuilt, those sorts of things.