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"Put on something sexy, we're going to Red Lobster."

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Revengeofthenerds, Jun 24, 2013.

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  1. Hoosiermess

    Hoosiermess
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Indiana
    In three text messages you went from "I'm excited to see you tonight" to "I'm going to be a little late because of my ex" to "I'm sorry, I'll understand if you don't want to see me tonight"

    Then you got mad and yelled at me when I said you should be so insecure (I could have been a bit more tactful but it was pretty bad).

    You followed that up with an offer of sex if I'd just go out with you again but you were crazy enough I declined. That's saying something and it's not positive.
     
    #41 Hoosiermess, Jun 27, 2013
  2. katokoch

    katokoch
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Minneapolis
    You had a meltdown because I wouldn't let you start stripping at a sleazy club while we date.
     
    #42 katokoch, Jun 27, 2013
  3. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    You said it was up to me if we stayed together anymore.
     
    #43 Rush-O-Matic, Jun 27, 2013
  4. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    The T-dot O-dot one-of-a-kind
    You used a phrase like "I won't let you" and thought I'd adhere to it.
     
    #44 Angel_1756, Jun 27, 2013
  5. McSmallstuff

    McSmallstuff
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Threw around silly feminist phrases like "my opinion" "my rights" and "my life" all while MY sandwich wasn't getting made
     
    #45 McSmallstuff, Jun 27, 2013
  6. caseykasem

    caseykasem
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    You think the piss soaked paw prints of your cat on your bed is cute.

    You refer to your mom's cat as your brother.

    You tried to get me to see your therapist so that we could have something in common.

    You have a "fashion" blog and want me to take pictures of you to post on it.

    You talked about us getting married on the first date.

    I caught you poking holes in condoms.

    Your mom told me it was okay with her if I got you pregnant.
     
    #46 caseykasem, Jun 27, 2013
  7. TX.

    TX.
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    The Mad Pooper

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    Location:
    With Waylon, Willie and the boys
    You hear that I'm moving out of my apt without mich warning bc one of my roommates was stealing my stuff and say you'll be over in a minute to help me move to a 3rd floor apt. Yeah...3 hours later I had finished moving by myself because you never showed up. There was a really great Family Guy rerun on TV.
     
    #47 TX., Jun 27, 2013
  8. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

    Reputation:
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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
    "You love your guitar more then me!" Why, yes I do. The door is thataway. *Continue playing*
     
    #48 toytoy88, Jun 27, 2013
  9. Mantis Toboggan M.D.

    Mantis Toboggan M.D.
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    Disturbed

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    NC
    -"Sometimes I forget to take my pill" (just a girl I fucked a couple times and who didn't know my last name thankfully, not one I dated)

    -Met a girl on POF, met her at an Applebee's (her choice, CLASSY), after a few drinks/some making out outside we leave to go back to her place and she has an "Army Wife" sticker on the back of her car...yeah, adios

    -Had her tongue up my ass within 30 minutes of meeting her (another POF girl)....loved it, don't get me wrong, but you're not exactly girlfriend material

    -Tried to make me promise I wouldn't go to a strip club when I was going out of town for my friend's bachelor party. I'd known her about 2 weeks at this point. Goodbye.
     
    #49 Mantis Toboggan M.D., Jun 28, 2013
  10. lust4life

    lust4life
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    You keep leaving the toilet seat down.

    Yes, a Twilight Zone marathon DOES trump Bridges of Madison County.

    Your breath actually makes your pussy smell good.
     
    #50 lust4life, Jun 28, 2013
  11. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    The asshole of Texas
    You continually make racist comments about Mexicans, knowing that my son is half Latino.

    (Fun fact: This girl was half latina herself! Her mom was Mexican! Can I pick winners or what?)
     
    #51 dixiebandit69, Jun 28, 2013
  12. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    The asshole of Texas
    You have a tattoo for every Smashing Pumpkins album.

    You nibble pieces off of the bar of soap in the shower.
     
    #52 dixiebandit69, Jun 28, 2013
  13. StayFrosty

    StayFrosty
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    #1:

    -You claim to be pregnant, expect me to be a 14 year old father, than just kinda "Oh, not pregnant" and disappear to another state.
    - You try to tell me I came twice (I didn't) and that I was your first (I wasn't).


    #2:
    - You have a scar from where you had your ex, uh, let me just quote this....."Cut me to leave a physical reminder of his love for me."
    - You walk into our mutual workplace with a giant hickey on your neck, which causes every guy there to congratulate me despite the fact I haven't seen you in days.
     
    #53 StayFrosty, Jun 28, 2013
  14. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    You constantly accused that I wanted to fuck your friends, despite the fact not one of them are attractive.
     
    #54 Crown Royal, Jun 28, 2013
  15. dewercs

    dewercs
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    phoenix, arizona
    "I just wanted to let you know I am pregnant, but I won't be tomorrow." -this was on our first and last date.
     
    #55 dewercs, Jun 28, 2013
  16. The Dread Pirate

    The Dread Pirate
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    Disturbed

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    My Secret Evil Lair
    That is the story of my experience on OkCupid in a nutshell. God bless clueless sluts.

    Focus:

    - You bailed on our date because you're "feeling kinda sick" but put up Facebook pictures the next day of you and your girlfriends drinking with random dudes at a bar.

    - When we watched Blazing Saddles you didn't laugh once.
     
    #56 The Dread Pirate, Jun 28, 2013
  17. Chellie

    Chellie
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    Disturbed

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    Alberta, Canada
    IT WAS BOSTON PIZZA, ASSHOLE! How DARE you not remember our first date!

    I would occasionally (read: often) put out on first dates. But only if I wasn't interested in going out with them again, the ones I was into had to wait because I gave a shit if they respected me the next day.
     
    #57 Chellie, Jun 28, 2013
  18. PIMPTRESS

    PIMPTRESS
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
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    Location:
    Denver-ish
    You felt the need to critique my singing voice. I was singing while I drive, just being happy, not headed to audition for American Idol. My voice is decent, you are petty.

    You tried to show me up on my horse, jumping on without permission and kicking pretty hard. I laughed when he tossed you, then I followed suit. He was a smart Appy. You were not a smart boy.

    I gained five lbs and you nagged me to hit the gym and withheld sex. I never made you feel bad about the lack of abs our entire relationship, who the fuck are you? No prize.



    You proposed in a Walmart parking lot. You were surprised I said no.
     
    #58 PIMPTRESS, Jun 28, 2013
  19. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    A HA HA HA HA HA

    'Murica.
     
    #59 Crown Royal, Jun 28, 2013
  20. Mantis Toboggan M.D.

    Mantis Toboggan M.D.
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    Disturbed

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    Location:
    NC
    Yeah....I wasn't using the phrase "tongue up my ass" metaphorically--I'm not the type who judges a girl for putting out on the first date. I mean she was literally on her knees in a dark, secluded parking lot, tossing my salad, within a half hour of my picking her up.
     
    #60 Mantis Toboggan M.D., Jun 29, 2013
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