Promiscuity

I'm 33 and have had three partners, none of which were in the context of a relationship. I lost my virginity when I was 17. For a few reasons I'm just not into one-night-stands and I'm also completely adverse to relationships, hence my low number.

Actually not really; I had to think for several minutes before I remembered the name of the girl I lost my virginity to. And I'm still not 100% I've correctly remembered.

 

For me, there were some that I slept with that I shouldn't have, and some that I didn't but should have. So in the end, I don't imagine that my number would be much higher or lower than it is now.

My end game has never been to plant as many seeds as possible. When I found something good, for the most part, I stuck with it. I doubt that going back would change that mentality.

 

If you had sex with them, they count. There's no, "Well, I was drunk and in a bad place, so I'm not going to count that one." If a dick was at somepoint in the middle of your pelvic bone, it counts.

I started losing count and forgetting one nighters somewhere in the (I think) mid 20s. It was never all that important to me to have notches on my bed post. I mean, I liked sleeping around in my early 20s, no doubt, but it wasn't in a competitive way. Anyway, shit calmed down after those early 20s, but with a slight resurgence in recent years, I'd say I'm in the mid to high 40s at this point.

Lost the virginity at 17, summer after junior year.

Too many is all personal preference. Whatever makes you happy. Fuck the judgements of others.

 

The question of what exactly entails sex is far from cut and dried. I'm not really sure where I stand on it.

Defining sex as "penis in vagina" feels awfully restrictive -- and kind of dismissive of huge segments of people who are very clearly having sex, just not in that way. On the other hand, defining sex as "whatever you think it is", leads to ridiculous assertions like "I've had PIV with 8 people but I'm still a virgin because God."

Even in my own life, there's a dissonance that's hard to define away. Sometimes, a handjob is like a friend giving you a back massage. Other times, it's super intimate and certainly feels like sex. I don't think that there's any sort of single-sentence way to really encapsulate all the different ways people get it on, and how they feel about those ways.

 

Sex = consensual vaginal or anal penetration.

Not sex = oral/manual copulation.

I think it really is that easy. May not be pretty sex or ideal sex, but that's the hard line. None of this "It doesn't count because I was on vacation," "It can't count because I'm 1000 miles from home," "Sex counts even though we didn't but we were totally going to if her mom didn't interrupt" shit.

 

So fingering a girl is sex, but getting a blowjob isn't? Where do toys fall into all of this? Why is anal penetration considered sex, but oral penetration isn't? Is pegging sex? What about just putting a buttplug in a guy's ass?

--Cockrates

 

How the doth manual/oral/toy sex place into the same category as penis into vagina sex? They are not of the same substance.

You're making this far too complicated. Remember your first principles. What does it do? What is it primary function at it's most simplistic?

- Cockus Aurelius

 

By your definition, gay men have sex, but lesbians never do. Unless your definition of penetration is different than I assumed, which brings up different issues as Nom said.

And if you go home with a girl, go down on her & vice versa, come, and leave, no "sex" transpired. That doesn't seem absurd to you?

 

You stick your dick in her vagina?

No? Then how the fuck is that sex. "Hooked up" sure, as "hooked up" seems to have a very loose definition. But you know you did not fuck her.

As for lesbians, touche. Lesbians should not be subject to the definitions of men anyway as the act is too pure, beautiful, and good for this world.

We can amend sex being consensual anal/vaginal penetration by a sex organ or rubbing of two same sex organs. This does not include premature ejaculation from heterosexual rubbing outside of the vagina unless at least the tip makes entry.

I feel like Kinsey.

 

You guys are making this entirely too complicated.

 

I can't believe no one has ever posted this yet.



""Guys, don't ever ask a woman, how many people she's slept with. You don't want to know. Just be glad that you're fucking her, now. You ain't discoverin' shit. You ain't putting a flag no where!"

 

So lesbians who scissor have sex but lesbians who lick each other's pussies, finger their vaginas, use strap-ons up each other's asses and daisy chain with their six closest friends are not having sex, is that correct?

 

I have no idea how to define it for lesbians, and don't really care (I've told every girl I've dated that they're free to do whatever they want with other girls as long as there are no other guys involved and they tell me about it in great detail). For heterosexuals and gay men I'd agree with the previous/Bill Clinton definition, if a penis is entering a vagina or ass it's sex, if not it's not. "Sexual activity" maybe, but I wouldn't say I had sex with a girl who gives me a blowjob.

Also, to me the phrase "hooking up" means a minimum of hand-to-genital contact....but if you're 18 or younger or still in high school it can be used to describe simply a minimum of making out.

 

oh you guuuuuuys, let's bring this thread back to it's original, if poorly disguised, purpose.

How many TiBers are sluts?

 

I've slept with a lot of women but I'm no slut. I just enjoy connecting with women on that level and it feels good.

 

I've slept with seven people in 24 years of life, so apparently I'm a total manwhore.

 

I definitely fall into above the average.

I'm almost 26 and my number for men is in the low 30's. The number is more if I add in women.

I'm totally comfortable with it. A majority of it was in college. Some were relationships, some were friends with benefits, some were one time things. I'm fine with being a very sexual person. Are there a couple I regret? Sure, but not many. If I could go back in time I don't think my number would change all that much. If people want to call me a slut then they can have at it but it won't bother me.

 

I'm 27, and I was at 38 women in 2006. Now, I'm not really sure...I'm above 50, but I am too ashamed to sit down and make an actual list. I started really young (14) with an older girl. I also started partying younger than that, and thanks to a small town with nothing else to do and a solid 12 years of being in complete shambles, I did little else but chase skanks. Some of it was worthwhile and fun, the majority of it was due to a lack of anything more exciting to do (to be fair, skanks are pretty thrilling under the right circumstances).

The Girlfriend has no idea of my number, and that's a good thing. I don't know hers and as long as I'm confident it's fewer than mine, I'm ok with that. I'm against a girl having a higher tally than me because I feel that my number is excessively high, but it's by no means a dealbreaker. I'm more concerned with her confidence and general having-shit-togetherness than a number and at this point in my life, I feel pretty confident in my ability to detect someone who likes sex and gets around and someone who is pouring cocks in herself trying to repair daddy issues or whatever.

I stopped counting a few years ago because it got to be kind of embarrassing. I'm no Tucker, I don't use my cock like a handshake and if anything, I'm more shy around women now than I've ever been. So, when most people assume I'm a shy, nerdy hippy based on what I do, that kind of figure does more harm than good.

The only caveat is that I've spent about 4 years travelling, and that greatly escalates the random sexual encounters one has in a short amount of time. What would have been a relationship of 2-6 months to a normal adult is a solid half-dozen one night stands when you're on the road.