Promiscuity

A lot. Some in my past I regret, not because of anything they did, but because I was an asshole. My conscience is pretty clear now, although I still have some interesting interactions.

 

The number is irrelevant. Means even less once a relationship is established. Impetuousness is also irrelevant. Number matters if someone is 20ish with a score of 50 or something, then there's a larger issue at hand. Which is the point most people seem to be making. There's a difference between a healthy sex life and reckless abandon because someone can't ameliorate their personal issues. That's dangerous. Somebody is going to get hurt. Physically or emotionally or both.

It might be my area, but that kind of behavior is not uncommon. Nobody gives a fuck about their health, safety, or anyone else's. South Florida is a party area which makes everyone immune.

 

Hmmm, probably enough to qualify me as a dirty slut, but what the hell, I had fun. I came out of it disease free and with some fond (and not so fond) memories. I guess if I took the time to think back I could come up with a few regrets, but I try not to live with regret.

Am I the only person who has never had the "how many" conversation with their partner? We have been together for quite a while now, and I can honestly say that I have no idea. Could be 2 or 200. We grew up in different states so didn't really know each other during that stage of our lives, so just doesn't seem very important. Maybe we are the weird ones.

And I grew up in a smallish town and will second the comment that all there is to do is drink drug and fuck.

 

I would, just for some. As CJ mentioned, in south florida it's easy enough to find someone to jump in the sack with. My number is skewed due to the fact that I worked as a bouncer in my youth at some clubs in West Palm Beach, so one night stands were not uncommon. Those I don't regret, it was all in good fun. There was a point in my youth though where I would tell girls whatever they wanted to hear to get them in the sack and acted like a raging dickbag to get laid. If I could go back in time I would punch myself in the gut because, regardless of who they were, they didn't deserve that. The number isn't really important, but as I've grown older I've learned that you can be honest with yourself and others and still find people who are looking for the same kind of casual fling.

 

Yea, I've had the reverse situation. Some girls get really sensitive and/or pass out, which starts out flattering and quickly becomes...frustrating.

In that case, though, why don't they go down on you after the blowjob? It seems like a good use of a refractory period, and then you're both good to go.

 

Only a couple more. Safely though. Physical and emotional safety. Ain't hindsight a bitch? I missed out on some good women either out of stupidity or talked myself out of it because I've got boundary/abandonment issues. Fear of getting hurt because it would have been easy to fall for one or two. In fact one did tear my heart out of my ass anyway. Also, I'm a cold, aloof SOB most of the time. I feel bad for women I *didn't* sleep with because I already saw myself being a cock to them. But this is all another far creepier, maladjusted thread.

Welcome to my brain goo.

 

I always think of this after the fact, but I think it's mostly a matter of naturally not being very assertive and/or forthright with asking for things unless I've been sleeping with someone for a while. Although sometimes they were gentlemen and actually got to that beforehand. I think it'll be my goal, though, that if this happens again I'll say "Listen, you're either getting up in my poon one way or the other, or I'm leaving." Instead of just leaving.

Another thing to think about whenever it comes to the numbers conversation is that at some point it can be difficult to determine exactly what does and doesn't count for The List. Does a drunken three thrusts before succumbing to whiskey dick count? At one point do I count girls? Etc. I don't really put much weight in the number, and I don't think I've ever told anyone what mine is. The only time I judge another person's number is if it's high enough that it makes me wonder if there are any mental issues behind the number. (Not, like, serious medical problems, but what everyone else has been talking about with being an asshole etc. I said "etc" twice in this post.)

 

When my wife and I started dating about 10 years ago the "How many girls have you slept with?" came up in the first week and my answer was and still is to this day the same, less than 100.

The real number is between 30-40 with most of that happening in a 6 year period of heavy drinking and drugging, a number of those were one night things.

In hindsight it would have probably been a better idea to not have so much random sex, it was fun at the time and I wish I could still bang randoms with no strings attached but this marriage thing prevents it.

 

I'm averaging out the scales for some of you scallywags. I'm 27, one girl, when I was 21. Engaged now, so probably not changing that number in the near future.

Why - add me to the list of not particularly good looking, socially overlooked, and didn't have any reason to rush it or 'try' to lose my virginity.

And because instead of thinking about hot sex with lots of people I was more interested in the math behind the two numbers. The 'slut theory' doesn't work unless the sluts just weren't questioned. If the prodigious cum dumpster existed and was omitted, fine. But at that scale it doesn't compute. It should be zero sum. See this article for details:
<a class="postlink" href="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/12/weekinreview/12kolata.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/12/weeki ... olata.html</a>

 

Lost it at 18, which at the time felt way late to me. Made up for a lot of lost time really fast when I figured out how to get girls in bed.

I lost count years ago. I'd say I'm probably around a hundred, but it may be many more. Who knows.

Also, that study also proves that women are liars when it comes to sex. Statistically speaking, for every heterosexual encounter there are both a man and a woman present, so the numbers should be similar. Obviously there are homosexual encounters that would skew the numbers somewhat, but not DOUBLE.

 

Not even remotely. I hope they're lies or that the people answering the survey were very young. And This.

Numbers are essentially irrelevant. Motivation is entirely relevant. One while gritting your teeth and hating it so you get back back at a parent is too much. A thousand because it was fun is awesome.

I'm not sure you two understand how averages are counted in stats like this.

Lets say the respondents looked like this

Women
1, 3, 2, 2, 3, 3, 2, 16, 18, 52. Average 10.2. Discard 10% boundary cases average = 4.9

Men
0, 7, 7, 6, 5, 3, 8, 19, 15, 293. Average 36.3. Discard 10% boundary cases average = 7

Maybe they polled a brothel and got honest answers. Maybe they polled a frat and got dishonest answers. Maybe they didn't discard the liars in the fringe cases and the outlier incidents skewed the fuck out of the curve. Maybe they did discard the honest fringe cases and they falsely flattened the curve. Sample bias and methodology faults combined with the social propensity for women to understand and guys to exaggerate means that these numbers are probably barely in the ball park of reality, but can't be taken as gospel. Or even anything close. But social propensity isn't any more probable than bad methodology.

There are people I wouldn't sleep with again if i had my time back. I would certainly handle some things differently. There are plenty of times when I was younger when I was a jerk for no good reason. Or when I messed up a good thing by being stupid. But the reality is that I would probably have at least as many partners. If I could be 18 again knowing what I know now? Fuck, I'd probably have a LOT more.

 

I have the answer to your "how can women have half the sexual partners of men?" questioneering:



Except in reverse, but follow:

Lady Gaga would report having two male sexual partners in this encounter.

Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake would each report having one female sexual partner (as per the original wording of the survey).

Awwww yeah.

Secondary point: I was chatting with one of the PAs the other week and he mentioned a case of pelvic inflammatory disease in a woman who had a) tested culture negative, and b) failed the first round of antibiotics. And it's apparently not all that rare to have a negative culture while still being infected.

Sleep tight.

 

Im in my mid 20s and my number is also in my mid 20s. I was a late bloomer who didn't lose his virginity till I was close to being 19 and still only had a couple of partners as of turning 21. My number is significantly higher than most of my friends/roommates, but of those 20 something, only 3 or 4 were 1 night stands. Unlike alot of aforementioned friends, I've only had 2 relationships lasting over 6 months, so that equates to alot more single/casual dating time. I've done well but I'm by no means a player who's bedding tons of girls. Ive had my good runs and bad runs. Thats something I always think of when considering "numbers". If a girl is still in college and getting around 20 or so, maybe I'll take pause, but if she's my age, I'm not going hypocritically brand her a slut. I'd much rather hook up with a girl with 20 partners (provided they are clean and smart about their sex lives) than a girl who has only had 2. Practice and variety make perfect.

If I had to go back and do it again? Higher only cause that would have meant more fun college sex. I had 2 dry spells lasting around 6 months during the last 2 years I was in college and that was terrible. Add in a 9 month relationship straddling freshman and sophomore, and you have alot of time when I could have been sowing my wild oats.

 

Who are you fooling around with? Any guy still in his (early) thirties should still be able to go two or three times at least. Really???!!!?!?

Focus: I lost mine when I was around 13 or 14. I'm in the low 40s probably with most of those happening as an adult after I turned 22/23. I don't know the exact count as I stopped counting. Too many partners is when you start having sex to fill an emptiness inside instead of enjoying it.

 

Mid to high 20's for me, most racked up between 20-24 YO, weighted a lot more heavily near the 24 side of things, I was a crap teenager.

If I remained single another 5 years the damage I could have wrought.....

 

Not the only person. I haven't the first clue what her number is. I know her well enough to believe her number is fairly low, but then again she drunkenly rebound banged me on our first date that wasn't even really a date so I suppose it's possible she has a fleet under her belt.

I never thought about asking and it's not the least bit relevant after all this time, but I can't imagine that conversation going well under any circumstances, so even if I cared, I'm not stupid enough to bring it up now.

What I care about is her number following the aforementioned (now 16 year old) boozy hookup.

 

My number is pretty high for being a 23 year old girl and I feel no real need to justify it. I was, at one point, much more interested in sexual romps than emotional connections, and I think that was ok. It was a fast time for a crazy girl, and I grew out of it fairly quickly. Ive been in steady relationships for about 4 years now, and that has drastically slowed increasing of my number. If I were single again, who knows, I might embrace slutdom again.

Also, it's interesting how accurate some of these numbers are. Mine is just an estimate, because I can't remember all of them and not sure if some of them count, really. At what point do people start forgetting that they've fucked someone?

 

I can assure you its after five because I still remember faces, maybe not names so much but in a drunk haze those are pretty easy to forget.