This article is dated, but has some interesting points: I know we did a "how many partners have you had?" thread some years back, but it's been awhile and things change. Focus: Do you fit the average? What do you think of the numbers? How many sexual partners is "too much"? I find the vast difference in number of partners interesting. You'd think it would be a zero-sum game. If men are more promiscuous, then the partners have to come from somewhere. For example, if a man says he's had three partners, then that means three different women have had sex with him. Yet women are claiming to have had roughly half the partners men have. Hmm.
It's not the least bit surprising that men might be over-exaggerating their numbers while women under-report. I lost my virginity when I was 15, and I've had sex with 8 women (that I can remember), so I suppose that's pretty close to the average experience. I also tend to be serially monogamous, and had I been single during longer periods of time, then there's a decent chance those numbers would be higher. As for how many partners is too many, I don't know that there's an answer. Too many according to who? Your grandmother? What society deems "acceptable?" It's too subjective to have a concrete answer. To one person, 10+ makes you a slut. To another, anything under 25 could make you an inexperienced piker. Perhaps the only way to measure on a scale of "too many" is if there's physical damage due to the vast amount of sex had. If your dick is ten different colors and you're peeing out of three different holes, it might be too many. If you find that you have to wear higher heels because you're stepping on your own labia, it might be time to roll 'em up and call it a day.
I'm going to parrot this. As much of a sexual deviant I can be, I'm also a prude. Blatant displays of sexuality creep me out, as does slutiness. Just because you can fuck someone, doesn't mean you should. Hey, if you don't give a fuck, go right ahead, not my problem, but *I* am not going to get with you. There's an antibiotic resistant strain of gonorrhea now. 1 in 5 people have crotch herpes (not cold sores, but junk funk). HPV is gaining in oral cancers and soon 1 in 2 people will be a carrier. You can't even get/give a BJ for fuck's sake. Doesn't that fucking bother anyone else? I've dodged a bullet or two in my time and it really, really bugs me I got that close, inevitable condom use or not. Also, don't sit there and tell me "you just have to be safe" because we all know damn well people aren't. They're dirty, reckless, and flippant. Responsible judgement is not a skill set most have, and we all know this. The couple true Cocksmiths I know either lucked out or are lying about the amalgamation of STDs in their blood mutating into Virus X. I know several dudes that don't know what a condom is. A few of the promiscuous gals I know have herpes and HPV. Two friends had an HPV related tumor removed from their cervixes. Another has a bad case of HPV related warts. Yet another friend is casually fucking a dirtbag with herpes, Hep C, and HPV. I'm too fucking old to deal with that shit just for easy sex. Now if you excuse me I am going to wash my hands in scalding water 7 times, and collect my pee so no one steals it.
Too many depends on why you're trying to get laid. If you're plowing your way through every bar girl that looks at you while gritting your teeth and whispering "I hate my Mommy, I hate my Mommy" then maybe you ought to back it off a little. But if you're honest with yourself, emotionally stable enough to accept casual sex for what it is and honest with your partners, then have at it.
I'm not a scientist or anything, but it seems like sluttiness is genetic. I've slept with about thirty women, and my uncle puts me to shame, while my grandmother my my grandfather while engaged to another man. I used to be a pretty big manwhore, and would basically just go out to pick up strange. I've gotten everything from smoking hot hooters waitress to fat single mom who bangs random dudes while her kid watches cartoons. I caught the clap last year though and that basically snapped me back to reality, could have been a lot worse. I shudder to think how much pussy student athletes get though, if I can do well for myself those guys must be drowning in it.
This is my thing here. I know a girls some would call a whore. But I simply disagree because if she was a guy, everyone would just say she has game. I think the difference is who is making the call and taking initiative. If you're saying yes to every single incoming invitation, then you're a whore. If you have a type and actively make decisions to sleep with people, have no STDs and no kids, then you're fucking living life and I'm jealous. My numbers are too low compared to my friends, male and female. I'm about to be 26 and I have had sex with 7 women (plus 2 just the tip scenarios). I wish my numbers were higher, but I get a chick and if she's getting the job done I lose all motivation required to put up with the stupid shit getting another girl in bed would require. I also had a long dryspell after sleeping with a girl that caused me to get tested for the first time. I call bullshit on those averages. Once you remove emotionally abused, sexually abused, highly religious and socially inept, and you are just including every day normal fucking people that have friends and can talk to people without a prescription, they have to be higher. I'd buy a 5.5 for women and a 8.5 for men.
25 now. Lost my virginity at 15, in relationships between 15-18 and 22-25, and I've had sex (not counting blowjobs or fooling around) with 29 women, so I guess I'm already way above average. It could have been a little more than 29 if I had wisened up sooner and I definitely didn't feel like I was drowning in pussy, which makes me wonder what the ''average'' people are doing. Some people don't seem to like having fun too much. I'm really not sure about that one. The ex slept with around 45 guys before me I think, and I honestly didn't care, because she was a goddess in bed and just happened to be comfortable with her sexuality. Right now, I know that there might be a ''not enough'' number. There's no way I would sleep with a virgin and I would be suspicious of a girl my age who only slept with 1-2 guys in her life. I just assume she doesn't like sex much and/or is pretty inexperienced.
Ditto. I've been with several girls that fit this profile, and they were either virgins or not with many guys. Not an experience I will ever repeat. Myself? Strangely enough, way above average - which calls the average into question. I'm not cool, not very good looking, and not very good with women, yet I blow that 'average' away. Maybe the control group was a bunch of unmarried mormons, I don't know, but that number seems low. How many is too many? Depends on the situation. I've been with girls that were with more guys than girls I've been with, and it was fine. I suspect that it depends on the reasons behind sleeping with that many guys. If it's for fun, no problem in my book. If it's for affirmation, 1,000 guys won't be enough, and one is probably too many. Just my take on it.
I lost my virginity at the ripe 'ol age of 21. For a long time I was holding off for religious reasons (grew up in a strict Catholic house) but eventually it was mainly just a personal thing (and what Black Jesus says too... I wanna keep my whistle clean). Waiting for the right girl was totally worth it... I still have only one partner and no regrets. Intentions matter more than numbers to me- "too much" is your own call, but regardless reading some people post huge numbers of partners and then say "I wish it was less" was definitely motivation to keep my dick to myself.
6.8 is the average? Jesus Christ I'm a cesspool. Although to be fair, it has been 49 for nearly ten years. I have some friends well into the 90's and triple digits. I've always been honest about how many people I've been with, maybe I would have lied more often if I realized the what the actual average was. Brrrr.
3.7 my ass. Sounds like the we're taking samples from the Amish community. I don't know any women that low. Clearly, they were lying, which would make sense. However, I'm way above the average for my gender so I'm never too trusting of statistics like that. I think I'm in the low 30's but I can't be too sure. It's hard to think back to every person. All I know is that I wish I could unfuck some of them and take a mulligan here and there.
I wonder if rural areas are bringing the averages down? I live in a town of 3000, although there are other, larger, cities nearby. It seems to me that larger cities like Chicago/New York/Wherever might skew the numbers higher because of the increased opportunity and singles culture? I didn't lose my virginity till I was 25. I was fat and goofy and whatever other issues I have. I'm sitting at 5 but I'm not sure I care about numbers either way, mine or the ladies. I don't ask and like some have mentioned I try to be careful. I'm not looking to set records here. It's kind of like drinking...I just always want one more.
I'm 25 and I've had sex with 0 women, so, yeeeeah. Shyness, lack of genuinely cool/sane girls, and residual Catholic guilt don't make a good mix. I agree with katokoch though. The number isn't as important as intent. I know people who have the same numbers but some are seemingly indiscriminate about who they throw their dicks in to.
"Average number of partners" studies always seem way too low to me, like people are embarrassed or something. Seven, over an entire life, is the average for guys? Really? I'd say my ability to pick up women in general is absolutely average, and I had seven partners by the time I was 22 (lost it at 17). Outside of the married kind, how do you not have sex with at least two people per year by fluke alone? I can see girls having fewer partners than guys, what with their standards and everything, but 3-4 seems like it should be the minimum, not average. In terms of one's sluttiness, I'm a believer of the adage "If you're fucking to fill the hole between your legs, go nuts. If you're fucking to fill the hole in your soul, you're a slut". It's more about the mentality for me. I think the stigma that comes with being a "slutty" girl versus a "slutty" guy happens because of how different sex is for girls. The mechanics alone are a bigger deal, even after they lose their virginity. Not to be reductive, but for guys it's something we (desperately want to) do. For girls it's something they let happen to them. That's no small distinction (see the "would you rather be a top or bottom in jail?" scenario for proof). Aside from existing, girls don't have to do anything for sex. Basically, they already have it and we want to get it. While I don't think it's morally right, I can see why girls who give it up to just any guy are valued less, in let's say an economic sense. For me personally, I'm way above that average, but well within average of people I have known over the years. When it comes to a potential serious girlfriend, all that matters to me is if she's clean. If she banged 50 dudes before knowing me, I wouldn't be thrilled (at least go down on a chick or two at some point, would ya?), but I don't think it would be a deal breaker.
I lost my virginity just after I turned 14. I didn't fuck again until I was 20. 7 seems about right to me, I know a lot of guys who have partners in the double digits and then I also know some who've either had a couple of long-term relationships or have a couple or partners only. I figure for every Tucker Max out there there's probably at least a couple of guys who have a hell of a time trying to get laid. I have to admit though, when I find out a girl has fucked a lot of guys (anything over 20) it turns me off. I honestly don't want it to. I realize that women like sex and that the double standard is bullshit but I can't help it. It's some shit I'm working on currently. This seems like a bit of a "well no shit" situation to me. I have to admit I don't have a lot of experience with sex crimes but I would think that committing one as a man would be vastly easier than as a woman. Aside from the occasional high school teacher banging a student I can't remember the last time I heard a story about a woman committing some sexual crime. I'm sure there are some just few and far between when compared.
Are we playing "what's your number?" Because if we are, ballsack is winning. Remember though, quiet ones are the ones to beat.
I've always wondered: do people above the age of 20 or so actually have oral sex absent regular sex? For me, once I was out of high school, having just oral sex became pretty rare. Hell, even the list of "people I kiss" and "people I give the dicking to" is pretty much identical at this point. I'm a hair under 23, and mine is somewhere around 10 to 12, depending on how you count (I would say any time a penis is inside another person's orfice, it counts). I also tend to be serially monogamous; even when I'm not dating anyone, I tend to not have one-night stands, and not sleep with multiple people simultaneously (not intentionally, it just kinda happens that way). Sometimes the state of science and math reporting makes me weep. Triple the rate of 15+ != 3 times as many. Also, re: the average numbers, remember that a lot of people dig Jesus. some 0's and 1's will really keep the average down. If you surveyed 20-30, unmarried, not devoutly religious, I think the numbers would be different.
Damn, I'm way below average. Oh wait, this isn't a penis size thread? My bad... Focus: I'm way below average. Completely fictional joking aside, numbers mean almost nothing to me. I can totally understand people going through promiscuous phases, and I think a lot of people do go through phases like that (to varying degrees, obviously). Say there's a 25 year old woman who's slept with 35 guys. A lot of people would deem that slut territory, but what if ~30 of those guys came (hehe) during a two or three year span during college? One new sexual partner a month from ages 18-20 isn't that bad, and then one per year after getting tired of that kind of thing hardly makes you a slut. That's a very random example with random numbers, but all I'm saying is that there are a lot of variables at play, and it's silly to think a definitive judgement can be made based on nothing but a person's total number.