People have way too much pride in shitty things. The following is a conversation I had at work today with a girl from St. Louis that gets upset when anyone talks bad about the city she loves. Tina- "I fucking hate this shitty city with a passion" (Note, we are currently in Washington DC) Frebis- "Tina, you live it St. Louis aka Shitsville USA. What don't you like about this city?" T- "Well, property values and rent are high." F- "And like the rest of us, you live in a hotel, paid for by the client. So what don't you like about this place?" (It should also be noted that Tina hates her job) T- "well um" F- "What makes this a worse place than the 'Lou'?" T- "St. Louis is awesome. Shut the fuck up." (At this point she hits me upside the head with a book in her hand) F- "Just because you hate your job, don't tie it to the city as a whole. Open your fucking eyes, this is a beautiful place. St. Louis is like Detroit with an Arch, or Cleveland with Brewery. A shit hole, that nobody outside of the mentally ill would live in. It's so dirty most bums won't even shit on the street" T-"Fuck you Frebis, and don't talk to me again." Now she won't talk to me. All because she loves some shitty city. Focus: People taking way too much pride in something. Bonus points if you managed to offend them. This can include families. I know people that have gotten into fights, all because of a joke about someone's dad. Alternative Focus: What is the shittiest city? Give specific examples of why it sucks, and leave sports teams out of it. No one cares that you hate Columbus because of Ohio State, or that you hate Pittsburgh because of the Steelers. We all do. pick new reasons.
Pay close attention to the bolded part. We have sports threads already do not turn this into a LeBron conversation.
Philly. This city has an amazing ability to smell worse than a hobo's asscrack on a 100-degree day, even when its below zero out. The city doesn't even try to plow the snow, the streets would be smother if they were still cobblestone and the public transit is a nightmare. It now costs me more to take the train into the city than it does to park at a surface lot. And thanks to the schedule cuts, I can actually get into the city faster, and closer to being "on-time," when I drive. Oh, there's also the fantastic plus of the wage tax. It's more than 3.5% higher than ANY of the outlying areas. Seriously. I got a raise when I moved to out of the county limits.
Los Angeles. There is no original culture there. It is a vapid, dirty sprawl with constant traffic. There is no skyline to admire, as the city is built spread out like nothing else. The square mileage is astounding, and everything is brown, brown brown brown. Look at that nasty shit. That is what you are breathing in LA. Not to mention the ocean sucks. The water is fucking freezing, so you can't go in, and the beach is usually covered in fog all fucking morning, clearing for a couple of hours. There is nothing to do once you have gone to the couple of museums that take an hour to get to from only a few miles away. Decent bars are few and far between. Oh yeah, and there are a lot of minorities. On a side note, fuck San Francisco too. What a failure of a city.
I grew up near St. Louis, (now live in Chicago) and just feel sad for St. Louis. It still has a few areas that are a lot of fun (Soulard, the Landing, the Hill, downtown) but it also has a LOT of areas that are just down-right crappy. Most of the major businesses have relocated, there is no revenue to keep up the city, and poverty continues to grow. In my personal opinion, St. Louis needs to take a book from Chicago and create toll lanes around the city to generate money. I wouldn't say St. Louis is a lost cause just yet, but it's definitely lost a lot just within this last decade. Focus: I haven't been to too many cities to properly answer this question with any merit, but for some unspoken, unknown reason I HATE the city of Kenosha, Wisconsin. I have only been there once, but I vowed to never go there again if I could help it.
Focus: Alma maters. Now, I'm not talking about the folks who don their school colors on gameday or have Bucky Badger on their car window. I'm referring to those people who are compelled to inform you in the first 5-10 minutes of conversation where they went to school. If you're smart, people are going to notice it by what you do, what you say, and how you say it. The only other person who cares where you went is another alum. Anti-focus: Newark, NJ. Honestly, they need to take a match and start all over again.
Anti-focus: I loathe Louisville, KY. It prides itself in [falsely] being the 16th largest city in the country (as its mayor will tell you as you exit the airport terminal), yet it lacks the basic pleasantries that all major metropolitan areas should have, such as: - public transportation beyond a crappy bus system - professional sports venue - transient young professional crowd (everybody who lives here is from here, except for me apparently) - an airline hub - at least 1 high-end shopping mall - a top-50 university - good looking people - at least 2 decent pizza parlors - a 5-star hotel - 30-somethings who don't have children - nightlife for 30-somethings who don't have children - a top-tier steakhouse - people who ask you where you went to school that aren't referring to your high-school - homes without wallpaper If it weren't for the Kentucky Derby, this town wouldn't even be on the map. God I hate it here.
If it wasn't for the people and earthquakes San Fran would be a fucking great city. By the water, nearby nature with parks and beaches, decent climate (not by California standards but on the whole), reasonable culture, palpable sports teams and a strong economy. Even accounting for the people and the earthquakes it still ranks better than most cities in the states.
This elitest douche-nozzle who thinks having a doctorate in music is something to brag about. Also Lawton OK (Ft Sill, the base was nice though) has to be the biggest shithole i have ever be stationed in (and I spent over 2 years in Baghdad)
College sports teams. For schools they have never attended, and otherwise have no ties to. How are you a USC Trojans fan when you've lived on the East Coast your whole life? Granted, I'm a UNC fan, but I grew up in the area and was bred on the shit, so I at least *kind of* have an excuse. This isn't about sports teams, but rather sports fans. That said, I'm going to second Philadelphia. Why? Because no other city in America has booed and thrown snowballs at Santa. I think that says all I need to know about the people there. The same passion that makes them a loyal fanbase can also make them act fucking retarded the moment things don't go their way. And what the hell is this thing, anyway?
The dirtiest city in the world I've lived in is San Jose, Costa Rica. It's 3 million people living in tin shacks willing and eager to stab you for your shoes. No skyscrapers, parks, historic landmarks or restaurants, just bums and brothels. That's an entirely different story, and still more enjoyable than Utah. Thanks to the mountains and the Great Salt Lake, which you can't boat or swim in, pollution gets trapped, making a giant green-brown cloud that can be seen from a distance. The line of separation between church and state is blurred at best; public schools have "scripture" class. Beers sold at grocery stores are weaker, and if you choose to buy "real" beer at the madatorily state-run liquor store you'll pay over 200% mark up, and they close at 7, all of them. At any restaurant not requiring a membership or cover charge, you'll need to order food in order to drink an alcoholic beverage. You can't order a double of anything nor can you have more than one beverage in front of you at any time. Everything is closed on Sundays. On my way back from Lake Havasu for spring break my friends and I had to come through Provo, Utah, and we were low on gas. It was a literal ghost town, and we ran out of gas while searching for an open station. We sat on the side of the road for hours until some old guy came by, said this wasn't the first time, and raped us a couple 5-gallon jugs for 100 bucks. Then there's the people. Due to the prevelance of Mormonism, the society is a dichotomy of extremes. There is no middle ground for natives. Utards are either complete bible-thumping retards or patchouli-smelling goths. Those who fall into the former aren't without their vices, either, oxycontin (you know, it's a scrip, so it's totally acceptable) is a hilarious epidemic. Attempting to peer into the mind of a Molly Mormon causes my brain to bleed. I'm not really into style by any means, and it's hard to describe and I'll put spoiler tags just to protect those of you who are easily nauseated, but this is the hairstyle of about 90% of the girls in Utah, no joke. Spoiler Take away all of that and you have some good snow and Moab and Arches National Parks. Not worth staying in Utah for, though.
Focus How much you can bench. You and Jimbo have fun jacking each other off while flexing in the mirror, I'll be in the mat room chatting up the yoga girls. ALT Focus: Phnom Penh takes the cake in my eyes. Lets start with attractions shall we? Their most famous is a fucking mass grave out in the middle of some rice paddies! The other one is the palace, now I'm not saying it isn't nice or anything but my definition of "palace" does not include being harassed by rabid monkeys. Just like any other third world shit hole there's plenty of beggars, most of the streets are dirt, and tin shack suburbs abound. What really put the cap on it for me though is that Phnom is apparently now the new Mecca for pedophiles. This is also the only city I've traveled to where I felt uncomfortable going out at night and I stayed sober for my entire stay.
Cleveland: Shitty climate, one slum after another. Entire blocks of abandoned houses(I'm looking at you East Cleveland). The entire city smells like desperation and tragedy. Honorable Mention: Tucson. Just an overall waste of space. Should be given back to Mexico, would improve both places. (It should be noted that I moved from Seattle to Cincinnati, so my judgement is highly suspect)
Anyone who is proud of "thug life" should be sterilized. Gang-bangers revelling in their ignorance and spreading it around to the next generation growing up makes me want to puke. It's like they are proud of being fuckups. I've got nothing against some crimes (I think drugs should be legal, etc.), but at least be GOOD at it and don't get busted. I've heard guys bragging about how many times they have been busted, as though it would add inches on their dick or something.
I agree that LA is bad. The sprawl is especially nasty. The fact that there is a Subway (sandwiches, not public transportation) in an identical strip mall every three blocks like clockwork does not help. However, it has a few redeeming virtues: 1) the weather; 2) the high likelihood that if there is an awesome concert or other event to go to, it will be in LA; 3) traffic is bad, but people know how to operate their fucking motor vehicles (I'm looking at you, Boston and NorCal); and 4) generally better ethnic food than in most other U.S. cities. While I try to avoid the worse parts of the U.S., I cannot say I have been impressed by Baltimore. The people there just seem to be endlessly nasty. I was down having lunch at the Inner Harbor (which is supposedly the cleaned-up, touristy part) and going up a fairly wide staircase in one of the buildings there with colleagues. As we were ascending, a bunch of guys starts coming down from the top. These guys look like they ate The Fat Boys and then stole all their FUBU. They see us coming up, and rather than just moving over to one side like ordinary, non-brain-damaged humans, the leader, Chunkasaurus, cocks his head to the side with a 'swish' and goes: "WE AIN'T MOVIN, BITCH!" My colleagues and I then squeezed up against the railing as they molested their way past us, their nylon tracksuits and jackets making a high-pitched squeaky zipping sound as it rubbed across our coats and ties. So yeah, I don't see myself moving to the right armpit of the United States anytime soon.
Having learned to drive in Boston, and currently living in LA, the notion that LA drivers can be described as anything other than absolute bottom of the barrel with regard to skill, competence, manners, or any other driving metric, is a falsehood of the highest order.
Having learned to drive in LA, and having recently visited Boston, I observed the following shit in Boston that would get your ass shot in LA: Sitting at a light in the right lane, going straight in on a three-lane road with a double-left turn. Light turns green. Guy in the LEFT TURN LANE decides he needs to turn right, and turns right ACROSS THREE LANES OF TRAFFIC." Going 40MPH, straight, in the right lane. Guy passes me at 45, then cuts in front of me and immediately slams on his brakes to make a right turn, coming to a nearly full stop because there is a guy crossing in the crosswalk. Large truck in the 2nd lane on an "expressway" or some such shit that passes for a freeway decides to merge right exactly at the gore-point where traffic is merging on. Without looking to see if maybe another car (me) is there. When or if he ever detected my presence, he continued his merge. Note corroborating evidence; see also here (Massachusetts the 2nd worst drivers in USA, California the 14th best - probably dragged down by NorCal). NorCal drivers are not nearly as bad, they are just never paying any attention. If you have two lanes of traffic and no obstruction (e.g., an accident, construction), and one lane is moving 5MPH and the other is moving at 45MPH, something is wrong with the people driving the cars.
\ Boston has its own rules of the road, which is why foreigners fear to drive there. Complaining about Bostonians not playing by the "rules" is like complaining that the NHL doesn't play by FIFA rules: Fuck your limp wristed Euro-socialist bullshit and man up behind the wheel. LA is the only place in the country where I can be crossing in a crosswalk, lock eyes with a driver, and still have time to get myself in position to smash their rear panel with whatever solid object I'm carrying as they cut me off.
Foreigners who are too proud of their country. Now, I was born in Eastern Europe and I've lived in several Asian countries, Europe and North America. Everywhere no matter how different the culture there is one thing that sticks, the asshole immigrant from a shitty country who hates on the locals. Conversations usually go like this. Asshole: "This place sucks, the people are racist and clearly dumber than in (Fuckoffistan or whatever country he immigrated from)" Me: (Initially trying to be nice) "It's not so bad here, there's (point out several things that are better than where he's from)" Asshole:"No this place sucks Fuckoffistan is clearly better and that's why I don't associate with the idiot locals." Me: "Then why the fuck are you here idiot? If it sucks so much go back." Asshole: "It's not that simple." Me: "I am beginning to understand why people are racist towards you." When I was in Canada I knew a guy who would not let his kids associate with the locals because he deemed them to dumb and bellow him. This guy was a fucking mall cop. Having national pride and keeping some sort of identity and culture is one thing that I understand and support, but lets not forget, you are here because this is clearly a better option then wherever the fuck you're from. You are also clearly not about to move back to whatever shithole you crawled out of so shut the fuck up and be glad you're allowed to stay.