...which will no doubt run into and over Turkey Day and the following weekend. I have to buy my turkey this weekend, with 50k other people that have to do the same thing. Cranberry should ONLY come out of a can with the indentations of the can, as said in the Gobble Thread. Deep frying a turkey leads to gravy implications. There is more to greenbean casserole that the beans, cream of mushroom soup and Durkee onions on top. Stuffing should never go inside the bird. And Sara Lee makes my pumpkin pie special for me every year. Pro-tip for some added zip to your whipped topping, whipped cream, wtfever you use, add some pumpkin pie spice to it. Football, food and no one (KIDS!!) running between me and the TV during a game. Bless you Turkey Day.
If the Patriots lose Im going to cry, then again at 8:20 I might not even be conscious. Also, bewbs: NSFW SGEDIT: If you want to still have an appetite come Thanksgiving DO NOT CLICK. You're welcome.
I just had two appointments for next Wednesday call to reschedule, so it looks like I'm going to take that day off and make it a 5 day weekend. My oldest comes home from college that day and needs to get picked up at the train station in Ft. Worth, and it's my youngest's 15th birthday, which means she needs to be taken to DMV to get her driver's permit, and I need to pick up the bird that day--a fresh, free-range, organic 12 lber for roasting. I also have a 12 lb. Honeysuckle White in the freezer that I'm going to cook in the smoker. There's no such thing as too much leftover turkey.
That was disappointing. I feel like that pictured needed about 100% less man in it. Imho. On the other hand, here's something for everyone:
Damn you, karahi gosht, for being so damned delicious. I'm experiencing post-curry-lunch fatigue. BUT, since my new office not only has a window, but also a locking door and blinds for the window, maybe I'll just have a nap. NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW!!!
I'm with you, but only for nostalgia reasons. Cranberry sauce is easy as hell to make from scratch and tastes great. I had a turkey made in one of these last week: It's an infrared "fryer". Look, we all know its really an oven that looks like a kettle, but it cooked the turkey in about half the time it would normally take, and it came out tasting and looking fantastic. Nice and juicy. Unlike the fryers, you don't have to drop $40 on oil every time you want to use it.
One year my Mom basted the bird in some funky orange juice and cola mixture. The skin was all floppy and soggy. It was nasty. I don't stray from the norm. I go old school all the way. It takes me back to my childhood only I get to sit at the adult table now. Actually, there is only one table now, the one with the wine and champagne bottles on it.
Me too. A little touch football in the backyard, some turkey and stuffing and then after dinner, we bring some blankets infected with various diseases down to the homeless shelter. I know it's not "tradional" traditional, but its so hard to find indigenous people to slaughter. The only Indians down here have casino money and drive around in Escalades armed to the teeth.
Tomorrow, Morocco for ten days, one last night in Dusseldorf, and I can go home for the first time in over four months. I'm looking forward to my real friends again but not my real job. I have been told that two daughters within the community developed hyoooge crushes on me. One of them was 15 and I'd only seen her once and scarcely remember her. I find this hilarious, especially after their parents told me that they told them. Otherwise I passed out the remainder of my monkbeer to my coworkers as a thank you. There were lots of jokes about how funny it is to see a pharmacist lugging a crate of beer around work. But the best part has been the people seeking me out and thanking me for my help. I mean I guess that's when you figure you did at least a somewhat good job, when people go out of their way like that. I might make something of myself yet.
We're all set up for some cornhole. Fry the turkey, drink beer, play cornhole. It's like I'm adult trying to find ways to distract myself and stay outside.
I had a long conversation with my 70 year old father in law about the two headed girl that is on TLC and their vagina. Surreal. Also, he has not been back to Sweden often since he moved to the US during the Silicon Valley .com boom, so he has not really seen the changes in the immigration. He walked in the door after being out and announced "Fuck there are a lot of black people here" (he actually did not see a black person until he was 10) Old people be crazy.
He might have to learn from Dixiebandit how to cook turkey with a toilet paper roll and a cigarette lighter.
Ever wanted to kill your boss? I'm talking about just dreaming about him dying. I'm talking about strangling him with your bare hands, feeling that death rattle in his throat and squeezing so hard spinal fluid comes out his tear ducts. Then raping his corspe with a fencepost auger. I'm telling you, I am right there. My supervisor is an extorting troll. A filthy beared German hippie who's attitude is disgusting as his wretched appearance. It's as if you took everything wrong with humanity, personal hygiene, logic, authority, attitude, fashion and reality and channelled it into one human being. He's the type of fucker who's always in the bathroom when the cheque arrives. Not because he's a cheap-ass liar, he is. But because there's always free gum in the urinals.
We may have had to train him to play with doggie toys, but it was well worth the effort. This is his face ALL DAY.
My mom works at an endoscopy clinic. I just had a conversation with her telling me about patients re-living a butt sex moment whilst coming out of anesthesia. "Walter! You said it wouldn't hurt!" Really didn't want to hear my mom talk about that. Ever. My favorite is, "I know you....I know you....and I know you. And I'm gonna have to pat this mothafucka DOWN!" said by an old, white doc under anesthesia.
If you're going to the DMV - do yourself a favor, go to the one in North Richland Hills. The wait averages only 1.5 hours instead of 4. And show up 45 minutes early. And bring an iPad, iPhone, and coffee. You'll be there awhile. I'm spending today in bed, throwing up every hour or so (good news - it's been almost 3 hours since I vomited. This is a win in my book.), and praying that I'm better and feeling 100% before wednesday because I'm going to Monterey...only to get in the car and drive to Tahoe. I've never skied before, or snowboarded, and mountains freak me out because I can't see the horizon....oh and I'm AWFUL in the cold. That said, it's a mini break for me and The Husband and I'm going to relish that.
I know for the DMV in Mobile, you could show up 30 min before closing and they would have to get you through, but they also didn't want to be there all day, so they would be working particularly industriously and would get you through in minutes. Plus, people don't want to chance not getting through by showing up at the end of the day so everyone shows up at 8am and there's a huge crowd in the morning, but not the afternoon. It could be different in your neck of the woods, but if you have a day to experiment with it, give it a try. It could save you a lot of time in the future.