While camping with a friend I woke up early and decided I needed some entertainment. I took a loaf of bread and started tossing pieces on the ground until I had a nice crowd of pigeons around me. I threw bread pieces closer and closer to the tent until the birds were just outside of the tent door. Then I opened the door, tossed the rest of the loaf inside, and zipped the door shut as soon as about a half dozen birds were inside. Almost instantly my buddy started screaming like a girl and nearly tore his way out of the tent. I've never seen anyone look so bewildered in my life.
My brother helped me with this one. He was driving me back to my apartment one night when we passed the mark's car on the way. Because of where he was parked I knew he was smoking on a part of the local college campus we always used for this purpose. It was a fairly secluded bench near a turnaround campus cops occasionally used on their patrols. At the time my brother had an Explorer, which happened to look almost identical to the campus cops' cars, especially when you were baked and paranoid. So we go up to the turnaround, drive up onto the grass, and turn on the high beams. As soon as they hit the bench we see about 8 or 9 people take off running in all directions, looking like cockroaches scuttling for cover when you flip on the lights. On the way out we stopped to leave a note on the douche's car: "Used Ford Explorer- $12,000. Extra bright high beams- $200. Watching you run like a bitch- priceless.". The kicker is that he told this story to all our mutual friends, expecting them to be as pissed as he was. Most of them were laughing so hard by the time he got about two thirds through that he would walk away shaking with fury, leaving the rest to be told by whoever still had their shit together.
I didn't do this, but my brothers did when they were younger. We lived in a decent neighborhood with lots of kids around. There was this one rather rotund kid that always came over and took dumps in our backyard. We would occasionally catch him in the act. After one such dumping, my brother took an apple cut the top off much like a pumpkin and hollowed it out. The took a stick and filled the apple with his poop and sealed it like it was a normal apple with a cut mark by the stem. The hunted him done and somehow gave him the apple (the details here and how they displayed the apple are unknown to me) he took a big bite and lets just say he didn't come around our house again. Mean but funny at the same time.. Revenge prank
This one time, in college, my roommate through a temper tantrum at me for making too much noise in the morning. Through the advice of the house manager, I spiked his iced tea in the mini fridge with ipecac and exlax. The ipecac was in tiny bottles and almost the same color as the tea. The exlax I crunched up and watched settle onto the bottom of the container. I put the tea back in the fridge and forgot. Some weeks later, he came bursting into the room screaming and yelling about how he was gonna have me kicked out of the dorms and expelled from school. Evidently, he was over at a mutual friends dorm room doing bong hits telling the guys about how randomly he was puking. Like, on the way to class through the quad into the bushes in front of everyone. Or off the balcony outside the room. He had an appointment at the campus clinic the next day. They were laughing at him so hysterically that he wondered and they told him. I never did get in trouble. He complained to the house manager (whose idea it was to begin with), who cited no proof. He had thrown out the tea. He was able to get me back though. I used to lay out at the pool with this girl named CJ. I liked doing it because she had big tits and if you looked just right, you could catch a glimpse of her bush poking out of her bikini. Anyway, the house manager told me he had a special suntan lotion concoction that would get you super dark super fast. I agreed to try it thus spent the next two weeks rubbing my roommates piss and Coppertone all over myself and that poor girl CJ. Yea, I got laughed at good over that one; and I never did get it into CJ either. I did get a pretty nice tan, though.
My boss and one of the servers approached me at my bar over the summer, and the boss started explaining that Gary (the server) had a brother who really needed a job. So LucasJackson, since you've been struggling with this job a little bit, we're gonna bring in Gary's brother three days a week, and he's going to work with you on the other two days. We've actually got the paperwork all filled out, is that OK? Great, thanks for being so accomodating. My mind was racing with what I was going to do now and why this even happened, and when they started to crack and laughed their asses off at me I swore I'd get them back. Now the boss is gone, and it's been three months, so I think I lost my chance.
Okay, so my pranks all took place at my office, where I gained the reputation as the one that caused all of the trouble. Some of mine (which are very tame) include: --Popping all the keys off of a QWERTY keyboard and placing them back in alphabetical order. --Putting double sided tape on the phone receiver, so it would stick to the user's ear --Unplugging the phone receiver from the phone itself (simple, but resulted in my boss calling up the IT people from his office mate's phone to figure out why it wasn't working) --Unplugging various other computer items (i.e. mouse, keyboard) so they wouldn't work, and it'd take people an hour to figure out that it was just unplugged Then, later, one of my bosses (who was also a good friend) left and didn't shut down his computer. His mistake. I proceeded to: --Slow his mouse speed WAAAY down, so it would take him forever just to move the cursor from one side of the screen to the other --Change his mouse from right handed to left handed (so it switched which button clicked) --Changed his background to a picture of his desktop, then turned off icons and taskbar (to be fair, he figured this one out right away, cause the clock said 4:45 when he came in at 8 in the morning) None of these were malicious, just annoying as fuck to fix. Later, pranks began to get pulled all over, and I kept getting blamed. People would get their desk drawers filled with packing peanuts, silly shit like that. In reality, I only pranked my friends whom I knew wouldn't get overly pissed, and it was never anything more than a minor annoyance. They got me back, though I went on vacation for christmas, and came back to find my entire desk, computer, pens, phone, notebooks... essentially, everything that was even near my desk was gift wrapped. They also threaded bent paper clips through my chair, so if i sat down, I'd get an ass full of metal (Luckily, I saw this before I sat down). Finally, they fucked up my monitor settings, and changed the language to Japanese, so it took me 45 minutes to fix the monitor, and I never did get it back to where it was. A few days later, they changed my desktop to be a picture of my face floating in a toilet bowl, with a giant piece of shit next to it. I quickly deleted it, and never said a word. After two weeks, my friend asked me if I ever saw any weird desktops. I told him no, that it was just my usual red background. He got super pissed and told me about the prank, but I told him the IT guys must've seen it and deleted it before I did. Ahh, office fun.
Down in San Antonio, we do this thing called NIOSA. It's basically a once-a-year drunkfest party. A few years ago, it was my turn to be the DD for the people from work. We took my brand new truck. Later at night, when we were all climbing back into it, on of my bosses drunkenly decided to take all the confetti out of her hair, inside my brand new truck. I waited a few weeks before I went a purchased large amounts of confetti. $30 got me a few pounds. That's a lot. I waited until she left the office and took her car keys to her Dodge Durango which she had coincidentally just purchased only days prior. I spread that confetti everywhere. All over the seats, inside her purse, under and inside the clothes on the floor. Seats were covered in about an inch thick. Then, I took about a dozen of those little party poppers and shot them everywhere. Her brand new suv was not only trashed, but smelled like gunpowder. When she sold it three years later she said confetti was still popping up. So she waited a few weeks. Now, we work in a school, so there are a large number of parents willing and able to help us brainstorm ideas. With the help of one of the dads, she got the genius idea to wrap my truck in, get this, SARAN WRAP!! Original, I know. She also poured dishwashing fluid on it so it would be more difficult to remove. I saw it, went outside, took my pocket knife off my keychain and removed the saran wrap in about 45 seconds, tops. Then, I noticed that her (still brand new) suv windows were cracked. So I stuffed all the soapy saran wrap in there and called it a day. She stopped trying to retaliate for a while after that. I also did the "auto-replace" thing to my roommate, but he was more of the "why the hell do you keep doing this to me?" not fun type. The thing is, I didn't just do it to a few words. I had written down two full pages of words/new words. He turned in a mid-term paper before he realized it. It started out something like: "Chris Grcunt 10.5.06 In a shithole fuckstick, when Emily realized she god I hate fags, her grandmother was analraping herself some nigga stew." I don't know how he didn't catch it.