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Porn for a classy man.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Trakiel, Feb 26, 2010.

  1. Trakiel

    Trakiel
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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    Yesterday was my organization's monthly board meeting. After the board meeting one of the board members asked me, as the IT manager, to help him figure out how to remotely access our network from his laptop so he could grab some meeting minutes files to review from a previous meeting. That's easy, so I tell him sure just give me your laptop and I'll show you what to do.

    Now, this board member is a distinguished gentleman in his 50s who's an active member of the neighborhood community and owns a few businesses in the area. Well known and well respected within the community. So, as you can imagine I had to repress snickering like a little kid when I pull up a web browser to show him were to go and I notice his browsing history contains links to sites like dirtysluts.com, hoes.com, and other classy sites. I don't know if he noticed they were obvious or not because I couldn't look at him or else he'd see me trying to hide the smile on my face.

    Focus: What potentially embarrassing and/or hilarious things have you stumbled upon belonging to friends, family, coworkers, etc.? Did you find your parents' fetish gear in the closet when you were looking for where they hid the Christmas presents? Discover your roomate's anal beads while cleaning the apartment?

    Anti-Focus: Has anything potentially embarrassing of yours been found by someone whom you would've rather not have discovered?
     
  2. shegirl

    shegirl
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    Redemption Seeking Whore

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    I found my moms old style douche. I didn't know what it was for but I knew it was something naughtyish. That's what I get for being nosey when she was gone. Similar to this if I remember right.
    [​IMG]
     
  3. jennitalia

    jennitalia
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    When I first started this nanny job, the bossmom and I were sitting downstairs talking. The four-year-old daughter came downstairs and holds up a pair of handcuffs and exclaims, "HEY, MOM! Look what I found under yours bed!" I couldn't help but burst into uncontrollable laughter. Bossmom was embarrassed and attempted to assure me that they were not used for that sort of thing.

    I still bring it up, and I don't plan on ever stopping.
     
  4. SBSam

    SBSam
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    Average Idiot

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    Part of my job is paying my boss' bills. The guy buys probably $100 of porn on Comcast per month, "Teenage Cheerleader Party 8," "Dirty Asian Hookers," etc etc. I've always wondered if he'd give me a raise if I told him that he can get it all for free on the internet. Never found the right moment to bring it up though.
     
  5. Tyty

    Tyty
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    Average Idiot

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    I have tried to repress this image from my mind many times, but I told/showed a friend of mine this once and will never ever live it down: my dad has a man thong. Not only is it a man thong, but it is a G string style one. One that has a little silk tuxedo on the front. I wish I never found that damn thing.

    My dad is the kind of guy who's look intimidates every single one of my guy friends. Where other parents may have been ok to joke with, nobody would ever cross my dad. His eyes could pierce your soul. We had a thread on old man strength before, and my dad was all about that kinda stuff. To this day (he is 63) he still beats me in competitions... and then goes home and puts on his little thong.
     
  6. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    I saw my girlfriend's roommate's breasts once. That was pretty awesome.
     
  7. shegirl

    shegirl
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    Redemption Seeking Whore

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    I'm sorry but BWWAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
    [​IMG]
     
  8. Cope

    Cope
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    Village Idiot

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    I've found two things belonging to my parents. The first was actually found by my brother and his friend. When the found it they thought for a second it was a purple flashlight. Big ol' purple dildo. And for about a year all of my brother's friends would go around and screaming "PURPLE FLASHLIGHT" at me and my brother while giggling like schoolgirls.

    The other thing I found when my parents asked me to grab our Christmas tree that was on top of the fridge in our basement. Something fell off the top of it when I grabbed it. They were sex tarot cards.

    But the worst thing I've discovered was when me and a few friends found the phone of this guy we knew. We looked through the pictures and to our horror we found naked pictures...OF HIS MOM!

    *shudders*
     
  9. jennitalia

    jennitalia
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Oh, and I've also had the privilege of folding a whole dryer full of bossdad's man thongs within my first week on the job. Any time he brings up how I accidently leave my thongs in the laundry room, I simply remind him that I have seen his entire underwear wardrobe.
     
  10. fleafly

    fleafly
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    Disturbed

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    Back between my Sophomore and Junior years of college (summer of 02) I worked at the campus computer lab. We were a laptop university so every student was loaned a laptop for school. During the summers we would check over and re-image all the laptops that the students used. We tried to take our time by snooping around all the laptops seeing if we would find any personal treasures. Apparently we were too good at this because we were done within a month and had nothing else to do. In an effort to keep us busy they decided we would clean out the attic. We were tossing everything, old books, misc papers, silverware, clothes. After a few days of this one of my coworkers came across this jewelry type box. Curious he opened it up and found a Military Purple Heart inside. The Purple Heart belonged to the grandfather of one of the English professors. Turns out he had been living up in the attic for 6 months or so after his wife kicked him out. This fat ass professor was freaking out and yelling at us about what shit we had thrown out. Our manager told him to go fuck himself he shouldn't have been squatting at the college anyway. He pulled out some personal shit but we kept cleaning. A couple days later we were rummaging through some shit and one guy screams out "Oh my fucking god!" He stands up holding this big black nasty looking vibrator. If that wasn't bad enough this dumb ass sniffs the fucker. At the time we couldn't help but snicker a little every time we saw that professor.
     
  11. Pap

    Pap
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    Average Idiot

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    When I was about 15 or 16 I would do chores from time to time. I was told to vacuum the upstairs. After many hours of procrastination, and being yelled at many times to just do it, I started. When I was vacuuming my parents bed room what did I find next to the bed? A empty condom wrapper. WTF? Don't you think you would clean that shit up if there were three of your children living in your house and your bedroom door was open most of the time.

    Oh and one time I was talking to my dad in his room when I was a bit older, probably in college at this point and he opened up his dresser thingy and what do I see? A box of condoms. At this point I had already accepted the fact that my parents do disgusting things from time to time but still, it's pretty disturbing.
     
  12. Supertramp

    Supertramp
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    What's even more disturbing is that your mom still made your dad use condoms, I mean, what's the point of marriage (if any) at that point?
     
  13. Noland

    Noland
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    I think I posted this at least twice on the old board, but, one afternoon when I was bored, I was browsing through the books in the downstairs library and ran across a copy of "The Story of O"* with my mother's name on it.



    This is really only funny, or, in my case, petrifying, if you're familiar with the story.
     
  14. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    Maybe he has AIDS.
     
  15. scotchcrotch

    scotchcrotch
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    When I was 17, I left a used condom in the shower overnight:

    -For two days

    -At my parent's house



    I also was into bondage porn when I was 16, for whatever reason, and the furniture movers found it and were laughing at me.


    My wife found her dad's porn stash of enema porn.
     
  16. Dirty White Boy

    Dirty White Boy
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    Should still be lurking

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    A couple years ago I helped clean out my grandparent's house after they had both passed away.

    When I was going through Grandpa's sock drawer I found an instructional video for a penis pump...yeah, I trashed that without mentioning it to Mom.


    Another time I was snooping for Christmas presents when I was 10 or so and ran across a bottle of viagra in my parents room.


    This thread has brought up some repressed memories...Fuckers.
     
  17. Rising Sun

    Rising Sun
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    Village Idiot

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    I have caught both my brothers masturbating, the best part part is when talk at 600mph trying to explain what they were doing.

    I also caught my dad jacking off, to my computer, in my room. I mean really Dad, if I hadn't came in and stopped you, you would've jizzed in my room? Goddamnit.
     
  18. iczorro

    iczorro
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    One of my chores as a kid was emptying all the garbages in the house on a weekly basis. Which meant every once in a while I would see a package of men's bikini cut underwear in exciting colors. Once, and this still makes me shudder... Once... there was a buttplug vibrator. I'm assuming it was for my step mom's use, but... I don't know if they got tired of it or what. I wasn't about to ask.
     
  19. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    A few years ago I was looking for the .357 Magnum that my dad keeps in his sock drawer to do some buzzed target shooting, and found his stash of Viagra.
    Whatever, the guy is 75 years old. At least he's still being "active."


    Embarassing of mine: How about porn polaroids of me and my ex-wife (when we were still dating) being found by my dad?

    Dad: "Uh, you left some pictures next to the toaster."
    Me: "oh, uh, ok."
    Dad: "Are you and (Ice Cream Cake Girl) practicing safe sex?" (even though it was obvious from the pictures that we weren't)
    Me: "uh, yeah, sure. Is that the phone ringing? I gotta go."

    AWKWARD
     
  20. minimum speed

    minimum speed
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    Village Idiot

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    My parents keep a lot of little things like tweezers and nail files in the top drawer of the dresser next to their bed. One day I was rummaging through it to find some nail clippers or something and found a little purple vibrator. At first I wasn't quite sure it was what I thought it was. I figured my parents had sex and all, but a vibrator? I don't even remember if I found what I was looking for. I closed the drawer and tried my best to forget about it. Obviously it's still burned into my memory.

    At least it was just a little vibrator. I don't know what I would have done if it were a giant flesh toned dildo or something even more terrifying.