And the reason for that hostility is because ghetto black culture and country music fans both loves themselves some Jesus, and according to them a man is only allowed to put a bullet or syringe in another man and nothing else. That's not my usual religious snark. Those are proven facts.
I don't know if it "fits," but Frank is one of those dudes that, you're not too surprised to hear the news. Not because he was flamboyant or something, like Adam Lambert, but because the dude has always been very clear in walking his own path, slightly outside the mainstream - or maybe it's more accurate to say that he's never paid attention to the mainstream. And along similar lines, I'm glad he never intended this as a sort of "coming out", announcing to the world, "reclaiming my identity" type thing. It's just something he is, and he doesn't really feel the need to go crazy explaining it or giving it undue importance. Apparently, this announcement was stuff he was going to put in the liner notes of his next album, released early because some journalist had started to speculate after listening to his new music. Frank's gonna do Frank, and he's gonna be continue to be dope. <a class="postlink" href="http://frankocean.tumblr.com/post/26646279205?ref=nf" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://frankocean.tumblr.com/post/26646279205?ref=nf</a>
Good for him, and it's great that most Americans nowadays don't make a big deal out of other people's sexuality, but what will really show that we've made progress and moved on is when homosexuals no longer feel the need to be in the closet in the first place and hide their sexuality from their family / friends / the public for fear of reprisal and the act of "coming out" disappears altogether.
Sorry for the double post but I didn't notice this until after I had already replied. I don't want to turn this into a religious debate, but you single out Christianity and Jesus when many famous, mainstream black rappers are Muslim, and Islam isn't exactly kind to the gays. I mean, yeah, bash religion, it's the cool thing to do nowadays, I get it, but at least try to be equitable about the bashing and do a better job of not making your own biases (or ignorance, whatever it may be) so blatant. Disclaimer: I'm not Christian or religious, I'm just saying...
This seems like the perfect place and time to put this out there. Basically I'm writing this as I am struggling to come to terms with my sexuality. Doubts that have existed for the past 8 years have started to make themselves more known and I honestly don't know what to do. It's crazy, it feels like my entire personality and identity has been thrown upside down. Everything that I thought I wanted - wife, kids, family etc has been cast into doubt. I've always been a very honest person, to myself and everyone around me. yet this is something I am unable to come to terms with fully. To have this internal conflict is tearing me apart. I do not like be dishonest or bullshitting people, yet it feels as if I am constantly lying. The annoying thing is, as much as it feels like I'm lying, I have no idea what the 'truth' is. I don't know where I stand, what I want or find attractive. Sometimes its women, sometimes it steers more towards men, sometimes it's nothing at all. It's frustrating, I find myself constantly analysing every relationship I've had and currently have - am I only having one night stands to delude myself that I'm fully straight? did previous relationships fail because of these hitherto unacknowledged feelings? Sometimes I catch myself wishing that I never had to deal with any of this and go back to 'normal', then I chide myself for wanting something that doesn't exist. That there isn't a normal, only easy/accepted. The sad thing is, I know I don't have much to fear from coming out, I know my mum would be completely understanding and happy about it, most of my closer friends would be ok with it, though it would change the dynamics of our relationship from that point on. Nothing would really change except I would be more open about my sexuality. The problem is, I honestly don't know where that lies. I don't know whether I'm coming here for advice or words of comfort, as things like this can rarely be made ok in a single sentence. I guess I just needed to at least admit what I'm dealing with in a more public setting.
Subject: Pitch Corrected, Computed, Emotion Honestly, you should really check out 'The Velvet Rage' - it's not expensive and it's not hard to get from Amazon or something. Even if it doesn't ring any bells - it's a good and worthwhile read. I'm really not sure about replying to this publicly. I really don't want to get into the fucktarded arguments about this that internet forums tend to lead to. But if somebody else is reading this with the same questions, my advice would basically be the same. I kind of get where you're coming from. I mean I never wanted a wife or kids. But recognizing my interest in guys fucked up my world view and my self view pretty substantially. The first thing to remember though, is that your sexuality doesn't impact who you are, or who you're capable of loving. At the core of you as a person - the truth about who you are has nothing to do with the gender of the people you enjoy having sex with. Gay, Straight or somewhere in between. The truth about you as a person really doesn't change. If you do find the person that you want to spend your life with and raise children with. Their gender doesn't really change all that much any more. Some women can't be the biological mother of your children. Would you end a relationship over it? Or would you just try surrogacy or adoption? Some women won't want children, maybe you'll love them enough to not have kids. Some women won't want to be the stay at home parent. Some women will. Etc. Falling in love with women in no guarantee of the family and kids dream. The same is true even if you realize that it's a guy who you want to spend your life with and raise children with. You just need to come at it with an open mind and with the idea that the rest of your life and family means a lot of figuring shit out as you go and compromising. No matter who you love. And shit, monogamy isn't the only option. Lots of people have families with a spouse and children, and go and fuck other people outside of that, with complete informed consent from their partner. Happy parents with weird sex lives produce way healthier children then miserable parents who suppress themselves and stay in unhappy relationships to maintain an illusion of normalcy 'for the kids'. Growing up with two dads, or step parents, or whatever family unit, is just another thing for kids that they'll deal with as long as they get the love and care they need to grow up safe and happy. It might limit the parts of Alabama you can safely live in - but in a big metropolitan city it just won't be that big a deal. Maybe the answer to all the noisy questions in your head is that you're gay, or that you're bisexual, or that you're just having an indecisive moment in your life. The ultimate answer doesn't really matter. Experiment with it, or don't. Just make peace with the questions in your head one way or the other so that you know the truth about yourself. But don't freak out over things that aren't really that big a deal. Finding the right person to connect with and spend your life with is huge enough without thinking that something like sexual preference limits or assures you of the way things like family and kids will play out. And remember that not answering those noisy questions in your head, one way or another, will poison your relationships going forward. There's no absolutes in relationships. No matter who you love, it might not work out the way you want or hope. But being at peace with yourself, and having a love that makes you happy is the absolute best place to start. Especially if you want kids.
I heard the news a day or two before Frank Oceans post on tumblr on a hip-hop message board when a member posted a rumor about a few of the songs on his album using "he" or "him" in place of "she" or "her". I immediately expected tons of backlash from the board, especially considering the many cases of people being called out as gay for various different views. To my surprise most of the people on there took the view of "who cares, he still makes good music, him being gay doesn't change that". While there are people that vowed to never listen to his songs again, it was mostly positive on the board. Personally, I felt the same way. I'm sure in my high school days it would have been different, but as I've grown up, I've realized that it really doesn't matter. What people do on their own time doesn't affect me and doesn't affect how I view them. My sister recently came out as bisexual. While I think it took my parents some time, it had no real effect of me. She's the same person she's been. While we have our differences, she's my sister. I've come to meet her girlfriend who is a great person in her own right. Her being gay doesn't change that. Some people just need to stop worrying about how others live their lives and focus on their own life. Sorry for the length, this is just something that's been on my mind since the announcement.