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Parker's Great Question

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Dcc001, Sep 17, 2012.

  1. Trakiel

    Trakiel
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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    The fundamental problem with your question is that there's no honest sacrifice involved. Any way you slice it you're still presumably getting enjoyable sex with at least one person, so really everyone is just going to go with one of two options: Two people with close enough ages for them to both be realistically possibly attractive, or fucking someone really old either for comedy/story value or as an offset so you can fuck someone young. At least with the celebrities you have to do a little searching for a pair to get the math to add up.
     
  2. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    I disagree. Once you take celebrities out of it, you're going to have to sacrifice. I think it's a tougher question for men than women. Since men tend to be more visually stimulated, you're going to have to potentially take one for the team.

    Ok, maybe because I live in America, and live in a major metropolitan city, I say the following with some small amount of research:

    Excluding celebrities, there are not very many attractive 60 year old women that I want to fuck. You've heard of the obesity epidemic we have here? Holy shit. The women in their mid to late fifties that I see (and I see hundreds of them in a week) are not a good looking bunch - nor are the men by any stretch. So strictly from my perspective, I'm 40. Women 15 years younger are 25, and women 15 years older are 55 - so if you play the odds - in general, which group is going to be more physically attractive? And again, men in the same age category, generally speaking, are no better.

    I like to think any woman I have sex with is having a comedic experience. There often is laughing involved, at any rate. But your statement above is the crux of the question: what kind of person am I? Am I the type that will try to keep unpleasant experience to a minimum? Two women that are maybe somewhat attractive (55 - and again, not including celebrities - the vast majority of Americans, men AND women, this age are not particularly physically attractive. Or do I attempt the unthinkable, hit some octogenarian - which the odds say are going to be not very physically attractive (unless, of course, they have glitter on their walkers) in order to have hot sex with a woman that the odds say is going to be at her peak of physical attractiveness?

    While there is a math component to the question, finding celebrities you'd bang 'at the right ages' avoids the conundrum of the question. You don't know which women (or men) you'll have sex with, so you have to play the odds. Women in all likelihood aren't getting Sean Connery, and men aren't getting Sophia Lauren in real life. Real people, real life, actually makes it a tough question.
     
  3. Capital

    Capital
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    Average Idiot

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    So easy.

    Queen Elizabeth, because duh.

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    And Stoya. I'm actually kind of on the fence on this one because I know I'd be so far out of my depth. Im not sure how I'd handle her.

    ...'Rough', I guess.

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  4. Parker

    Parker
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    Thank you for typing that out. I would have but coming from me, it just would have looked bad.

    You nailed it 100%. This question got asked around my office no problems. No one tossed in celebrities or anything, they just thought and answered, then laughed about the answers. One guy said "109 and 1." That's just fucked up funny. I said "Come on man, you know the age limit." "Fine 104 and 6." It makes you cringe more. But everything TVI said is exactly why the question is kept simple.
     
  5. ghettoastronaut

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    I'll take a 110 year old and a tear-filled jerkoff session for 200, Alex.
     
  6. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Oh, hell no, if I went 85-25, I would definitely go with 25 first. My luck, I would misunderstand the rules somehow, nail the dried out ol' octogenarian and never get to sleep with the 25 year old. If I went 85 last, I would not care about my ability to perform at that point.

    But, realistically . . . I'm going to say 50 and 60. I'll be 44 in a few weeks - that age spread isn't that far anymore.
     
  7. caseykasem

    caseykasem
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    Cher (66) I'll get the old one out of the way

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    That leaves the nerdy-hot Lisa Loeb (44)

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  8. NMW

    NMW
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    73 and 37. I'd take the 73 first so I can last longer for the 37 year old, they're not lying when they say women reach their sexual prime in their late 30's.
     
  9. DrFrylock

    DrFrylock
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    My top two choices would be Jodie Foster (49) and Julianne Moore (51), but that's only 100. I probably won't change my mind in the next 5 years, so let's just save those.

    So how about Dame Maggie Smith (77)



    and Alyson Hannigan (38)? That's 115, but I'd do just about anything for 10 minutes with Alyson. If it has to be 110 exactly, then let's say Dame Smith at 72 (because what's five years at that age?)



    With Dame Smith, I'm really going for the roleplaying. Halfway through:

    "MIS-tah Pottah!"
    "Is that Mr. Weasley there?"
    "TEN POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR! FOR SHEER DUMB LUCK!"
     

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  10. lostalldoubt86

    lostalldoubt86
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    Johnny Depp: 49

    Paul Newman at 81 (I would be in love with Paul Newman at any age.I just chose 81 because it adds up.)
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  11. iczorro

    iczorro
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    With Celebs:

    Mila Kunis
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    Bette Davis (Sure, she's been dead for a while, but she'd be 89 now, and she used to be so hot, it's ok.
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    Non celebs? Well, as reflected by my earlier answer, I'm willing to bag old to get hot, so 25 and 85. You make sacrifices in life...
     
  12. E. Tuffmen

    E. Tuffmen
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    Two 55 year olds at the same time. You're talking about at least 80 years of usable experience and it has a nice symmetry to it. If you go with anyone older they might not be as energetic.
     
  13. guernica

    guernica
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    Lets me fuck

    Demi Moore, age 49:

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    Although I'd fuck anyone(thing) to have a go at Mila Kunis

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    Even if it had to be Victor Wong

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    Although Roger Moore would be a little bit cooler

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  14. lust4life

    lust4life
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    I'll wait 23 years til they turn 55...

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  15. Roxanne

    Roxanne
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    John McCain, 76. For the crazy political bonuses and the ability to make a powerful man feel inadequate.

    Tom Hardy, 35. For the crazy. And to feel inadequate.

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