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One Night Stand Etiquette

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Dcc001, Jan 21, 2012.

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One night stand. Ever have one?

  1. - Never had one

    26 vote(s)
    20.3%
  2. - One or two, I don't like them

    35 vote(s)
    27.3%
  3. - Whenever I'm between relationships I rack 'em up

    58 vote(s)
    45.3%
  4. - I only ever have ONS

    5 vote(s)
    3.9%
  5. - I only fuck Chater

    4 vote(s)
    3.1%
  1. captainjackass

    captainjackass
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    Experienced Idiot

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    1. I firmly believe alcohol lowers your standards, but it doesn't make you physically hallucinate; i.e. think Griswold the Blacksmith is Jessica Alba.

    2. Wouldn't you discover MORE crazy at her place, complete with the My Little Pony pink wallpaper?

    3. She'll be fine. Personally, I'm fucking lazy. I like to sleep in. I don't like making an extra commute in the morning. The person who gets to sleep in their own bedroom, wins, because they get to sleep in and be lazy.

    4. Whenever I had roommates, we all knew that I would murder them/ exact vengeance if they blew my chances at sex. The people I roomed with generally wanted me to get laid, as I them. HOWEVER, at the chick's place, you have a whole host of crazy psycho roommates, catty girlfriends, and general bitches that will cock block you in every and any way possible. It's another risk I DON'T want to take before sealing the deal.

    5. My pig sty bedroom has never made a single girl ever turn down sex. Once they are in my bedroom, alone with me, she already is horny and wants sex. A messy bed room won't change that. Again, it's never been an issue. Even with long-term partners, for chrissake, they don't care. Often girls' rooms are messy pigsties as well.


    To conclude, I much prefer taking girls back to my place. No unknowns, no crazy roommates I don't know about, and I don't have to deal with bullshit in the morning. I wake up, we fuck again, we do whatever, if she wants to leave -- there's the fucking door!
     
  2. shegirl

    shegirl
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    Redemption Seeking Whore

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    Didja ever stop to think that maybe that's the only reason why he's getting laid? It sure as shit isn't his sparkling personality.
     
  3. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    Jordan Paul is here as living proof that if you bring your standards down low enough, anyone can get laid. Lest we forget.
     
  4. Rob4Broncos

    Rob4Broncos
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    Wait, are you referring to the guy or the girl in this scenario?
     

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  5. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    I'm pretty sure she was saying that the girl lowered her standards to get laid.

    You know, as a subtle insult to captain mean butt up there.
     
  6. StayFrosty

    StayFrosty
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    She's probably bitching to her friends about how hard she had to sell the "clingy and crazy" card to make sure she got rid of him.
     
  7. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    That's the beauty of it. Any which way you look at it, it's low standards.
     
  8. Binary

    Binary
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    I suspect, since she walks erect, is not incarcerated, and he made no mention of needle tracks in her arm, that JP was the one who traded up.
     
  9. suapyg

    suapyg
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    Disturbed

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    I'm not too convinced that wouldn't be true even if none of the criteria you mentioned were met.
     
  10. Trakiel

    Trakiel
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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    Am I the only one who had to read this sentence a few times to figure out what was being said? This looks exactly like something a broadcast sports announcer would say.
     
  11. Sam N

    Sam N
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    ..........

    ...yes.
     
  12. dan ruckus

    dan ruckus
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    When I was living in Anchorage over the summer literally every single girl I met there was absolutely out of their minds. I'm not even talking about random eskimos at bars or anything. Girls at parties. Girls playing frisbee. Getting directions from waitresses. Girls at the bike shop. All of the women anchors at the CBS station I worked at. All out of their minds. So it wasn't a surprise that the only ONS I've ever had was with somebody out of their mind.

    When me and my buddy had a layover in Seattle at the beginning of the summer we updated our okcupid profiles to change our city of Anchorage. I didn't use the site again for about 2 months, but right at the end of my stay I get a random email from a girl on there saying she thinks I'm cute and wants to hang out. That was pretty much all I needed because I hadn't been laid all summer and standards were low.

    I get out of work and she picks me up and we drive to some hookah bar. She gets me drunk as shit, all on her dime. Then she starts telling me about she's about to have her divorce finalized and that her husband is military in a non-specific location right now. I remember her raving about how it is apparently very easy to get divorced in Alaska and she was really happy about that. Well this was her last month of living there and she was moving back to California.

    The entire night was just comically easy for me. I put in the most haphazard attempts at flirting just to show I was interested and that's all she needed. As the bar closes she makes up an comical excuse about how she doesn't want to drive me back to my place because the cops will be out and we should just go back to her place and she can drive me back when we get sober. Turns out her place was at least 3x as far away. And she lived in some hotel-esque type apartment complex which was awesome and her place was really really awesome that she apparently had to herself because she husband was always deployed. Blah blah blah she makes me a drink and before I can barely take a drink we get down to business. We screwed 3 times that night. Actually pretty good from what I remember and she wanted to me to finish on her each time so not bad.

    The next morning she drives me back and keeps saying how she wants to see me again before she leaves. I tell my roommate all of this and he told me that it's a pretty common tactic for women married to military dudes to make up that story about going through a divorce and husband being deployed and whatnot. I decided right then and there that I didn't want to even remotely take a chance that some military beast was going to bust in on me fucking his wife and pull out his 12 inch machete and go to town. No thank you.

    In conclusion, all Alaskan women are crazy.


    (I forgot the best part which was when we were leaving she encouraged me to take a few DVDs in the living room because they were her husbands and she didn't give a shit. I took a very quick peak and took the first thing I saw which was "Police Academy 3")
     
  13. NurseNikki

    NurseNikki
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    Let's hope for your sake she was crazy. Otherwise, all you did was fuck a soldiers wife and steal his belongings while his ass is overseas defending your country.

    Yea, thats a WAY cool story, bro.
     
  14. Mantis Toboggan M.D.

    Mantis Toboggan M.D.
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    I already red dotted you, but on behalf of all my brothers who've been cheated on while deployed, I hope your dick falls off as you clearly don't deserve it. Aside from the obvious fact of it being about the douchiest thing you can do, you also enabled a major distraction for her husband which is putting his life and the lives of the other troops around him in greater jeopardy than it already is.

    Also I love how you clearly take the fact that she's married to a service member into consideration and decide, based on that fact, to end things with her....not because you realized that your actions put you a step above Johnny Walker but because you're afraid of some Rambo caricature busting into your room at night and hacking you to death with a machete (he wouldn't need it, I'd bet dollars to donuts her husband could rip you apart with his bare hands). Anyone who knowingly fucks the wife (or husband) of a deployed soldier/Marine/sailor/airman should be castrated with sulfuric acid, have "I hate Muhammad" tattooed on his forehead, and dropped into a random town square in the Middle East.
     
  15. kindalas

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    Yes it is totally all his fault for nailing a woman who was married.

    Shame on him for not walking away the second she hinted that the divorce wasn't finalized.

    And shame on him for not questioning her story further.

    It is totally his fault.
     
  16. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    Serious question. How do service men/women deal with this? I mean do some come to understandings, "Hey I'll be away from you for X months in a shit hole and Ill need to fuck something more than my hand, you'll need to fuck something more than a vibrator."
     
  17. scootah

    scootah
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    Friend of mine in the military bought his partner a Sybian for Christmas and encouraged her to fuck all the women she wants while he's away. My impression is that whenever he can get any kind of private time to skype her - she sets her laptop up in front of the stripper pole in their living room or tries to arrange to have another girl around. She's pretty fucking awesome in general though. I suspect knowing what he's coming home to makes his hand more tolerable (she's in the top 3 for best tits I've ever seen without the assistance of an airbrush or a plastic surgeon).

    My standard deal is that the relationships of my partner aren't my problem, unless they're my problem. I don't do people who I know are cheating on their partner. I mean, I don't give a fuck if someone is married. Lots of people i'm involved with are involved with other people and if it's all above board, that's cool. But i also tend to assume that it's cool unless I'm told otherwise. I usually just assume they're above board unless it's going to fuck with my life, in which case I check it out a lot more. In general, I don't make any effort to be discrete/keep a secret/etc. If you having sex with me will cause a problem with your relationship - you fucking deal with it. I find that the people who aren't up front with their partners realize that I won't make any effort to be discrete if I find out that they're cheating - and they decide they don't want to cheat on their partner with me after all.

    That said, I try to get a gauge of what the partner does in broad terms, and I don't do the partners of police officers - I make exceptions for the spouses of cops unless the cop is there and enjoying the show in very limited circumstances. But in terms of the 'angry spouse forgives cheating partner, blames guy they were cheating with' nightmares - I'm much more worried about cops fucking up my shit than Soldiers. And I know several cops who fucked up the lives of guys their wives slept with before they met. I'm reluctant to risk having to deal with that shit.

    Soldiers, firemen, paramedics, Unless I've spoken to the partner personally not gonna happen. That's the ethical line for me. if you're pulling someone out of a burning building, you shouldn't have to worry about someone else pulling their dick out of your wife. If you're putting your life on the line for the country or for the safety of the area I live - I'm not going to help someone fuck up your day.
     
  18. Kubla Kahn

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    And this is just his one night stand policy.
     
  19. Volo

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    Who said it was all his fault? Whether he acted alone or not makes zero fucking difference. He's still a major-league douchebag for lacking the self-control or even the fucking dignity to say no.

    Shut yer fuckin' pie hole unless you have something worth saying.
     
  20. Binary

    Binary
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    Why is he some kind of massive prick for sleeping with a woman who he thought was in the final stages of a divorce?

    It would never have occurred to me that this was some kind of "standard story" that women make up. I do not hook up with people who I know are in relationships, and would count that double for scenarios like deployed soldiers - I think it is incredibly shitty to screw around on someone who is out putting their own life in danger.

    So, while I get the knee-jerk "fuck you, asshole" - be realistic, here. Is he really a horrible person for being told (and it sounds like in a pretty convincing way) that she was divorcing, and sleeping with her under those circumstances? I mean, we all operate in life with the best information we have - and if that information is faulty, we make mistakes, but that doesn't mean they were deliberate.