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One Night Stand Etiquette

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Dcc001, Jan 21, 2012.

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One night stand. Ever have one?

  1. - Never had one

    26 vote(s)
    20.3%
  2. - One or two, I don't like them

    35 vote(s)
    27.3%
  3. - Whenever I'm between relationships I rack 'em up

    58 vote(s)
    45.3%
  4. - I only ever have ONS

    5 vote(s)
    3.9%
  5. - I only fuck Chater

    4 vote(s)
    3.1%
  1. kuhjäger

    kuhjäger
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    I have had a few one night stands, but two failed ones stand out in my memory.

    One was in a hostel in Prague with a Swedish girl I had met. We were basically trying to see who could out drink one another, and got absolutely hammered. When we got to the "put the penis in the vagina thing" we failed. I was to drunk to find it, and she was too drunk to find her own hole, so we ended up passing out instead.

    The second one could have ended badly.

    I was 19, almost 20, and a sophomore in college, and I went to a get together at a friends apartment. One of the guys in the apartment had his sister and her friend over. His sister's friend was hot, she looked a lot like Natalie Portman, and she and I hit it off well. I asked where she went to school and she replied "Berkeley". So hot and smart. We drank, and talked, and she suggested we slip away. So we did, and went to a room and started making out/groping, and I got her top off, and she had her hands around my dick when my friend started pounding on the door and then yelled:

    "DUDE! SHE JUST TURNED 16! SHE IS IN HIGH SCHOOL!"

    Turns out she went to school in Berkeley California, the high school, not the college like she implied. Needless to say, I didn't want to get any closer to being on the Megan's Law list, so I got the hell out of there.
     
  2. Bundy Bear

    Bundy Bear
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    Most of the one night stands I've had have been fairly standard but there was one dickish/funny one that happened when I was 22.

    I was on a weapons repair course and we'd been given the next day off and some guys on another course convinced me to go into town with them, was getting towards the end of the night and I hooked up with this Asian chick that had been bumping into me on the dance floor for the last hour or so. Leave the club and she is trying to get me to take her back to my palce but since I was staying in the temporary accomodation on base I didn't want to go through the hassle of siging on or jumping fences and then getting her to leave the next day.

    I give her a story that I'm a painter from out of town and staying at the site I'm working at so can't take her back and she wouldn't take me to hers so we end up in the botannical gardens. After we finish the first round I flicked the condom off the end of my finger into the tree and she told me off for it, the look on her face was absolutely priceless and I couldn't help but lose my shit laughing.She still wanted to keep going for some reason so I grabbed out another condom, this time when we've finished I've gone to flick the condom into the tree again and she takes it out of my hand and wanders off looking for a bin.

    I'm absolutely hammered so I've done the logical thing and pulled my pants up cause it's freezing cold and started heading back into town looking for a taxi without even waiting for her to come back. For some reason drunken me has decided that I wanted to run so I've started jogging down the street until I found a taxi and headed back to base.
     
  3. Aribidi

    Aribidi
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    Weren't you bragging about getting a blowjob from her on the Rant&Rave thread? Also, how is getting a blow-job and fucking her the next day a one-night stand?

    Anyway; Most of my ONS' were at my place. Probably because it's closer to the bars. Or the time we decided to go back to my place, because she only had a single-bed.
    I always try to be as decent as possible the next day. I'll make breakfast out of whatever is available, but I'll also try to convince her to hop in the shower with me.

    I had one kind of creepy/sad ONS. My friend brought a friend from out of town. We got along, but nothing occured. But after that she kept texting me, saying she wanted to fuck me. Which, of course, I had no problems with. So she came over one afternoon (she was from another city), we fucked a couple of times and then she just got up, put on her clothes and left. I didn't hear from her again. I never felt so abused. It was like she didn't care about my feelings.
     
  4. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    I would replace the 'creepy/sad' with 'awesome' based on the bolded. To me, that's perfection. Well, if she made a sandwich before she left and grabbed a beer I'd call it heaven.

    I guess you have to have a certain mindset for a one night stand. I'm also surprised at the number of guys that brought girls back to their place. I get the convenience factor, but I always found it more convenient to be out the door earlier. I've lost more than one pair of boxers and socks because it was dark and I didn't want to turn a light on.

    Actually, the reason I didn't want to turn the light on was I would be scared to see what the chick looked like when I was sober. Knowing me, my pickiness dropped dramatically as my intoxication level rose.
     
  5. T0m88

    T0m88
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    ...So did all of this happen before the Melee at Bitterbridge, when she defeated Ser Loras Tyrell and was named a member of King Renly Baratheon's Rainbow Guard? Or after?


    (Geddit, George R.R. Martin fans?)
     
  6. Binary

    Binary
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    "Bad person" is 4th on his list of attributes, underneath "Giant tool," "Friggin' idiot" and "Waste of the air he breathes."
     
  7. PIMPTRESS

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    Yeah, it couldn't possibly be that you are a selfish bitch, no, not at all.

    Here's a sex tip: It's SO much better if you are thinking of the other person and getting them off. Sex can't be good if you are worried about someone seeing you with her, or are so concerned with what you can get away with.

    Like Lostalldoubt said, they to think of her as a human being with feelings. Strange, not only pretty people qualify. Oh, and I am at 190 right now and I know you can't fuck in the same league as me. This chick has four inches on me, I have an idea of her size, she sounds fairly proportionate to height.


    I hope she knows what you are.

    For Frosty boy- I am a hypocrite for getting wasted and laughing inappropriately. This is not something I would do now, even as tanked as I was. Get over it, Sunshine.
     
  8. M4A1

    M4A1
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    Really? I hope that this was a rhetorical question.
     
  9. Misanthropic

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    My best one night stand story was a "near miss".

    I was working north of the Arctic Circle, and on the way back the work crew spent a night in Nome, Alaska. There are a couple of bars in town, and one had a band, so we went to grab a few drinks. I was shaking it (an appropriate description for how I dance) on the dance floor when an Eskimo woman, or Inupiat if you want to be all correct about it, started grinding on me and grabbing my ass. This woman followed me everywhere between dances, including standing outside the men's room. I couldn't shake her, not that I was trying. I was being handed an Eskimo hook-up on a silver platter - not a midget, but story worthy if nothing else.

    She asked to go back to the hotel with me and we were grabbing our coats when one of my co-workers pulled me aside and told me he had been talking to her earlier but had bailed because A) she was married and B) her husband was a FUCKING LUMBERJACK. As in a "is very comfortable swinging an axe and chopping shit up into very small pieces" kind of guy. Not wanting my body parts scattered across the sea ice, I put my coat back down, bought us a couple more drinks - and left out a side door while she was in the bathroom.
     
  10. Raoul153

    Raoul153
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    I think you're all missing the important point.

    T0m88 just threw a Game Of Thrones spoiler in on the quiet there. Please, let's hate on the real villian here.
     
  11. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Holy shit. If I were single, and having a one night stand, and a girl busted out that reference? I'd fuckin' marry her right there.

    Even if she looked like the girl Tom88 is referencing.
     
  12. ssycko

    ssycko
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    I think that's kind of like "Snape Killed Dumbledore" at this point.
     
  13. StayFrosty

    StayFrosty
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    Aw, bless your heart, you're not a hypocrite for that. You're a hypocrite for jumping Tom's ass for a behavior of his two days before posting a story in which you conducted yourself with the same behavior that you jumped his shit for. You're just silly for thinking that the difference in years between his story and yours makes any difference, and you're a goddamn comedian for using the excuse of "there were prior turn-offs". Kudos to you though for calling me out in a thread I haven't even been involved in, though.

    FOCUS: I have little frame of reference for a one-nighter, so I don't really know what rules to follow other than showing whatever courtesy you would want. The girl I hooked up with stayed over the night before she went out of state, so we had about twenty minutes at most (we fucked around all night, but didn't actually get at it until about 6 AM) before she had to leave. There wasn't any room for her trying to stay, although I was careful to sit on a chair alone right after, having been warned she was a post-coital death-grip cuddler.
     
  14. Bundy Bear

    Bundy Bear
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    You should read more, life might not be as big of a surprise.
     
  15. slothers

    slothers
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    I have only had one ONS and that was with a relatively larger girl. She had a cute face, but she also had a very large beer gut. It was strange, it was not flabby or anything, but noticeably hard, like she was pregnant (she was not).

    I met her at a bar, and one of her friends came up and told me she thought I looked pretty cute. I was not too attracted to her, but I figured what the hell, I was horny and had not had sex for a while. We ended up chatting, dancing, and then having sex at my place where she subsequently crashed in my bed. After that night, I decided to never have sex with a girl I dit not plan on dating again. I just felt too skeazy afterward.

    I ended up dropping her off at her place in the morning, and finding excuses to never hang out with her again when text me. She got the hint after a week or so, but looking back on it, I should have just been upfront and told her I was not interested in seeing her again.

    When it comes down to ONS, or anything sexual with another partner that is not a live doll, I believe that there is a certain amount of respect that should occur. Drive them back, or offer breakfast and a place to spend the night etc ... unless they are similar to that crazy bitch that cries wolf about rape.
     
  16. toejam

    toejam
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    I think everyone who said don't be a giant dickhead nailed the etiquette portion of this thread. Not to say I haven't been a giant dickhead myself in the past. I still get dirty looks from some people in certain crowds, which is unfortunate but deserved (it's also unfortunate that I still run into them).

    If I have a pet peeve one night stand rule though, it's this: You're absolutely welcome to stay over, but when it's time to sleep, it's time to sleep. No, we cannot sleep spooning. No, we cannot sleep with your hand on my dick. Yes, we will sleep on opposite sides of the bed, because that's the only way I will actually sleep.

    I also don't have any particularly noteworthy one night stands. After all, "I went out, drank too much, slept with some girl I probably wouldn't have sober," isn't much of a story. But my favorite (easiest) one night stand pick up happened when I stopped to visit my cousin at his college on my cross country drive home following my own graduation. We were at a bar talking to a few girls he knew, and one of their friends came up, latched on to me, and said I needed to pretend I was her boyfriend so this creepy guy standing a few feet away would leave her alone. It was that easy. Cute girl too. So thanks, creepy guy, for the solid graduation present. I still remember it fondly a couple years later.
     
  17. Guy Fawkes

    Guy Fawkes
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    My rules for ONS change with age.

    College = Fucking 30 minutes after meeting in the bushes behind someones house

    Post college = She seems nice/safe enough to bring home... right?

    Post post college = Mr. Fawkes your room is ready. Would you like a wake up call? Enjoy your stay sir.


    Story:

    I was at a friend of a friend's summer BBQ. I'm chatting with my buddy and I feel someone staring at me. I look around and see this cute blonde chick giving me the triple take and walking towards me.

    "Greg! Oh my god Greg it's so good to see you again." Hugging ensues. I have NO idea who this chick is or who this Greg character is.

    Long story short I was at my buddy's bachelor party on the Cape, hooked up with this chick and told her and all her friends my name was Greg. Apparently my friends at the time were good enough to go along with it. I have next to no recollection of the event.

    Kept right on being Greg too. Greg ain't on facebook.
     
  18. lyle

    lyle
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    It all comes down to common decency. Regardless of how drunk I am or the attraction I have with the girl I hooked up with it's far better and easier to treat her place with a bit of respect (and her too, to an extent). I like to think of it like an away fixture. Of course you're going to play dirty on the field, but you're still going to respect the stadium otherwise you won't get to play there again.

    I only really take ONS back to mine if I genuinely like the girl or if its the only option available. If it's the former, I usually won't have a problem with her staying over, if its the latter I keep a bowl full of pound coins so I know I've always got the cash right there to pay for her cab fare home.

    Afterall, nothing screams class like getting loose change thrown at you post coitus.

    I'm more interested in the lies/truths you've all said in getting a ONS to leave rather than the ones to get them into bed in the first place.
     
  19. Aribidi

    Aribidi
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    Ugh. I once told a girl I had to catch a train. Which I didn't, but I had no idea how to get her to leave. She was one of the sweetest girls I've ever met, so she said she would walk along to the station. Ooookay. But when we arrive, she still won't leave.

    "Well, it's been great, but I really have to go now."
    "That's ok. I'll wave to you from the platform."
    ......Yippee

    So I actually had to take a goddamn train and waste away about two hours, because I didn't have the balls to say I wanted to be alone, and also because she wanted to savour each and every last second of me.
     
  20. Aetius

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    Reminds me of