Wait a second here guys... Are we talking about some mythical sober, proper, clean, cordial one night stand? Or the one where her and I are both retarded drunk and I prevent her from cleaning anything by jamming my penis into her cheek mumbling, "Eh, hey you, let's go to the room. What the ell aru doing, wer fucking right?" At the house of the partner during a ONS (i love doing acronyms!), post-coitus, I once spilled a full beer on her bedroom floor, and then about five minutes later dropped a cigarette in the bed, burning the sheets. Both unintentional mind you. But she still wanted me to stay! I ended up leaving after she passed out when I couldn't fall asleep, getting lost for two hours wandering around the city trying to find my buddies house (that part sucked)
You know when you hear stories about that one person that is 'seriously really bad' but you don't have a reference point to differentiate between an actual slob from someone just being drunk? Well that person is you. And apparently the trolls you sleep with.
In the immortal words of Charlie Sheen: "You don't pay hookers for sex. You pay them to go away afterwards." File that under shit your daddy shoulda taught ya.
My worst hookup ever actually happened last night, but started on Friday. One of my friends gave me this girls number, apparently she was single and cute so I rolled with it. I start chattng her up through BBM for like 6 hours before she invites me over. She lives in London which is no big deal, I drive on out and meet her at like 10:00pm at her parents place (shes 21 and lives with them). I get there and I almost broke my neck snapping it back in amazement. She's almost 6'3" tall, and probably 200 lbs. Her hands are a big as mine, but she had a cute face so I figured she might be worthy of an hour of my time. So we go get a coffee at Tim Hortons, start talking etc. She makes a mention to go for a drive, I didn't really want to but I sensed atleast a hand-jobby vibe from her so I went with it. We drove all over shit hole fucking London for atleast an hour while she was trying to make advances towards me, moving her hand closer to mine on the center console, putting her hand on mine. I wanted her to work for it, so eventually we went back to the Tim Hortons and parked. I could tell she was DTF so I flipped the center console up and we started making out. She was slow at first but evenutally she was rubbing my boner and by this tme her tits were out. She reccomends I drive somewhere more private then a Tim Hortons parking lot and suggests parkng behind the dumpsters behind some grocery story (yeah, pretty classy). She eventually starts blowing me, I want more so I suggest we move to the back seat and she takes her pants off, but she didn't want any part of that. She said she isn't a whore and couldn't have sex with me on the first date, but she promised next time she would give it up (all the while she was jerking me off). I eventually bust, take her home and I split, getting to bed at 5:30am. I wake up to multiple BBMs from her at 9:00am telling me she really liked me and begging me to go to some bar with her that night. I was spooked, but wanted the pussy because I drove almost two hours one way for it the night before. I head out and she asks me to come inside and meet her parents and brothers while she got ready. This is where things get fucked, her family is full of freaks. They were meeting me like I was the first dude she ever brought home, offering me booze, food and even offered to let me crash there that night (after knowing me for a whole 5 minutes). So we go to this bar and she's practicially hanging off of me, trying to kiss me infront of the whole bar. Keep in mind this girl is borderline not to be seen in public with so all this attention is making me feel real awkard. Midnight hits and her whole faily shows up, and she intrdouces me as her boyfriend. I mean her aunts, uncles, faily friends etc. Apparently it was for some big borthday party for her brothers but I was on the verge of running out of there screaming. I wanted no part of this so I mentioned we go back to her place now that nobody is home. She takes me up to her bedroom (which is a pig sty, not smelly or no nasty shit like food, but just clothes and shit) and I fuck the shit out of her. After she cuddles right up next to me and says she's "looking foward to waking up like this with me everyday" and tells me she loves me. Clothes come on, I say I've got to leave and try to get out of there as fast as possible. She's not letting me leave, begging me and telling me she'll do anything to get me to stay the night. I told her I didn't want a realationship with her, and she looked hurt when I told her this. It didn't stop her though from texting me until I got home and went to bed, and she was texting me all day today, telling me she wanted me to fuck her again, that I could have her any way she wanted and that she wanted to come down to my place. So right now I'm kinda scared of this girl. This might seem pretty tame to you folks, but to me this is fucked.
Have you never had one of those nights where tomorrow doesn't seem to matter? If this happens every time, yea there are some issues, but for a one night deal I think it sometimes becomes a cost of doing business to deal with someone being a slob. (Whether that be a one night stand, or a friend of a friend who ends up for late night drinks and crashes.)
I've had more of those than I can count. I guess the thing for me is I never really hooked up with someone when we were both blacked the fuck out drunk, so I didn't have to deal with someone being that much of a mess and woke up on a random floor when I was the disaster. Also, the whole cigarette in bed thing just screams white trash to me which is probably hypocritical... Because I've definitely spilled a drink in bed. But still, really? A cigarette in bed? Who are you, joe dirt?
In addition to the crazy answer, there's the fact that when you're at her place, you have an exit strategy. It's harder to say, "Well, I gotta leave now" when she knows that you live there.
In response to the funniest rep I've ever got: See, I'm scared of her (just due to sheer size, I'm sure if she jumped me she could seriously fuck me up), but at the same time I've got a broad who is in love with me that I could use as a humping post for god knows how long. I could ensure she'll never come to my place to see me (because she dosen't drive) and if she ever could get dropped off, I'll just make up some bullshit that I have to work or something. In the sack she's probably only a 6 out of 10, mostly because she's enthaustic and because I think I she'd let me throw it in her ass. This is only a comparison to the broads I've already fucked though as none of them were above a buck sixty. Maybe 200 pounders are just less good in bed then their thinner counterparts. Is this a bad way to go about things, or should I just break it off with her, telling her I don't want a relationship or whatever?
Isn't it much better when they come to your place, though? You're home. You're comfortable. You don't have to leave afterward (or the next morning). Best of all, given that it's a ONS, you aren't getting taken back to some disgusting fratboy shithole. Or some rapist's den. Or some [insert dangerous situation]. Not that shit can't go wrong at your place, but there's certainly less variables working against you. It's always better to go back to HER house.
Personally, I prefer my place, but it avoids the question of, "Christ, when is she leaving?" I generally don't hook up with people I don't like or can't stand in conversation, and there are worse things than sleep and cuddling, but if you're the hit-it-and-quit-it type it avoids some awkwardness. I feel like if the answer to this isn't obvious, it doesn't matter what we tell you.
No way, brah - leading a girl on (a girl who's explicitly stated that she loves you) so you can fuck her until she figures out you've been lying to her is totally cool. Alt focus: Almost similar to above - this girl had been saying "treat me rough", "choke me" sortof things, so I had her up against the wall by her throat and she croaks out "tell me you love me" - now, I was fairly sure at the time (and it turned out to be true) that this was one of her send-me-over-the-edge phrases, but I was 21 years old and had no idea how to deal with those words from someone I met an hour ago, so I just tried to choke her harder to stop her speaking.
...and then she died! Somehow, the first part of your post and the second part don't go together. Unless that wasn't sarcasm... Edit: Hahaha, seriously. Girl brings up the L word. a.) lead her on b.) choke her until she can't speak. CHOOSE OR DIE!
But brah, he could probably get like three or four months out of her! Or fuckin'-a, prolly a damn year!
Just end it. Seriously, this girl doesn't sound emotionally stable. The longer you let it go on, the worse it's going to get. Tell her you are not looking for a relationship, then never sleep with her again. Also, keep in mind that she is a human being.