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Olympics? Kind of....

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by downndirty, Aug 8, 2012.

  1. downndirty

    downndirty
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    <a class="postlink" href="http://imgur.com/V6sLa" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://imgur.com/V6sLa</a>

    Focus: Sex challenges, trophies and awards.

    Let's have the TIB sex olympics.

    Alt-focus: What are some sex trophies you covet?
     
  2. kindalas

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    Challenge, Award and Trophy all in one.

    [​IMG]
     
  3. scootah

    scootah
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    New mod

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    There's a running series of jokes with my friends relating to Barney from how I met your mother, one friend in particular and I had a running joke about 'The Belt' for a Threesome. When I had my first threesome after separating from my ex wife, I sent him a picture of the two girls from my phone with the caption 'The Belt'.

    I told both the girls about this and they thought it was hilarious, one of them went and bought me a kids toy version WWF belt which currently sits on my wall. Most of the girls I've been involved with since known the story. There's been a long running joke with the various fuck buddies and girlfriends around about 'The Perfect Week' - 7 girls in 7 days and at least seven separate sexual encounters. I've been to six a couple of times. I could flex the rules and include guys (that's not much of a fucking challenge though) or repeat partners and group sex (sex with A on Monday, A and R on Tuesday and R on Wednesday only counts as two), and I've done 8 over 9 days but the unbroken run of the Barney Stinson standard still remains out of reach. I'm also ignoring the no rejections rule because I don't ever want to even vaguely pressure myself to be an asshole who can't take no for an answer.

    I'm enough of an awful person to have kept track of this metric and to have made a couple of dates with scheduling specifically around trying to get this lined up - but I've never tried to add a new fuck buddy to the list specifically for perfect week purposes or lied about the fact that this is a thing that there will be jokes told about after the fact. But the pursuit is still a guilty pleasure.
     
  4. toytoy88

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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    Seriously have you ever sat back, had a moment of reflection and asked yourself "Why hasn't my dick just fucking exploded like some sort of unGodly jism spewing pinata?"

    I've done some seriously fucked up shit in my life, but as soon as you post in a thread like this my stories pale in comparison.

    But I'm willing to give it a sporting try...

    I've told this before and the whole idea quite honestly gives me the heebie jeebies now, but back in the mid 80's I played in a bar band. We sucked. I mean we really, really sucked.

    We actually, to the best of my knowledge, are the only band ever to be 86'd from the bar we were playing at. But that's another story.

    In the mid 80's poofy hair, mascara, and ear rings were all the rage. For guys. Yes, I wore make up, used hair spray (Lots and lots of it. I still consider myself fortunate I didn't accidently turn myself into a candle while lighting a cigarette. I was highly flammable.) And I wore a long dangly ear ring. I thought I looked pretty cool.

    Picture the band Poison circa 1989. Now picture them uglier, drunker, and less musical. That was us.

    As horrible as we looked and sounded, we always had plenty of female admirers that wanted to "Party with the band." We were edgy bad boys and girls ate that shit up, so we always had a ready supply of eager young women intent on fucking their way through their daddy issues or whatever the hell their problem might be.

    We'd all retire to the hotel room that the bar had provided for us ("Us" being myself and my inept band mates) and commence to having unnatural relations on every piece of furniture and nook in the room. Someone would then yell "Switch!" and the girls would all rotate to the next band member.

    It really sucked when the fat girl ended up under you, but you pretty much had to take one for the team. (If y'all have never noticed this phenomenon , there is always a fat girl.)

    So yeah, that's my contribution to the thread. We tag teamed girls like a WWF event.

    I'm still surprised none of us has died of super AIDS or something equally horrible.
     
  5. JWags

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    In my college town, being in a band didn't mean shit. Le sigh. You could be playing a show, come down from stage at a set break, walk up to the girl that had been screaming and eye-fucking you and she'd act like she didn't know who you were and run off to some frat douche she knew from a Greek event.

    My favorite name on that list was definitely Penisun Levioso. I appreciate good sexual Harry Potter references.

    FOCUS: Lists like these make me realize just how vanilla some of my friends are. Cause my sex life is viewed as way crazier than theirs and I can't touch half the shit on this list. And while I'd love a good FFM threesome, I don't think I'd be willing to DP my girlfriend with a buddy to get there. Yeesh.

    Some highlights:
    -My first college girlfriend and I made a pact to one day have sex before every meal and after every class. 3 meals, 3 classes, and once at night for posterity. 7 separate times. My penis was actually sore the next day to the point of discomfort. I have no idea how I didn't get mad chaffage or something. Pretty sure my last 1-2 orgasms were poofs of dust.

    -For awhile, in the last few years, I'd regularly sneak off to the bathroom just off our kitchen, to have sex or get head while people were over. And not like a raging party, more like 5-6 people hanging and pre-gaming, or when we'd come back from the bars. I didn't think it to be a big deal, but my roommates were always "shocked" by my audacity. Prudes.

    -I used to fingerbang my HS gf while driving her home...in a manual car. I'd steer with my knees when I had to shift gears with my left hand. Man that was reckless looking back.

    I very much covet the 2 different partners in one day. I've gotten close before but things always seem to go wrong. The closest I was happened back in April. I had hooked up with a random former classmate the night before and had a current FWB that was coming to hang out during the afternoon but she got too drunk day-drinking, and my sadness continued...
     
  6. lust4life

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    Yeah, I'm sex challenged. But nobody's given me an award or trophy.
     
  7. bewildered

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    BJ's in a minivan? Awww yeah!
     
  8. rei

    rei
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    I think the special olympics gets its own thread
     
  9. FreeCorps

    FreeCorps
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    BOOM ROASTED
     
  10. dixiebandit69

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    I've had sex while driving in a construction zone (with zero margin for error: concrete barriers to the immediate left and right for miles).
    My ex started giving me road head, then she got horny and wanted to fuck. So I moved my seat all the way back, and she got on, facing me.
    I couldn't concentrate hard enough to cum, but she did.

    Another time we had sex on the 10' tall diving board at the public pool after hours. We would sneak in there all the time to skinny-dip and fuck, and I would always make sure to pull out and cum on the lifeguards' chairs. (the lifeguards there were assholes... Actually, all lifeguards are assholes.)
     
  11. Kubla Kahn

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  12. hooker

    hooker
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    That poor, poor jury had to sit through 1.5 hours of footage. Life is tough sometimes.
     
  13. Hoosiermess

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    FTFY
     
  14. Hogie

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    Fittingly, last night a girl blew me in the barber shop attached to my bar. My GM and a lady-friend of his watched on the security camera monitor, creeps.
    Some things I can remember:
    My HS girlfriend blew me in the weight room of our high school.
    Mid-day mountain sex in a public park in Banff.
    Stand-up river-side fucking.
    Sex in an outdoor hot-tub(not recommended, the hot-tub part that is)

    Still a lot of things I want to do...
     
  15. JWags

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    Lets be real, this thread was created for you Parker, lets hear it...
     
  16. VanillaGorilla

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    Did any of y'all attend a church youth group when you were kids? Did the church have a lock in, where teenagers were locked in the church all night and ran rampant?

    If you have, then it's reasonable to understand how someone could bang their high school girlfriend in their baptist church's baptismal.
     
  17. madamsquirrel

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    I was catholic so the best I have is church youth group trip to the beach- had sex on the beach next to another couple having sex on the beach.

    But my claim to fame is on home base at the little league baseball park.
     
  18. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    In a car in a church parking lot, but not during service or anything. It was the only place around to park. During "The Moment" you don't care much about your surrounding environment.
     
  19. silway

    silway
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    In a darkened classroom at my law school after hours. Not super risky, as these things go, but still fun.
     
  20. Pow

    Pow
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    Nothing too crazy..

    -Mile high in bathroom, and bj in seat. Over rated.
    -Sex in ocean at public beach - mid day.
    -Boned in courthouse parking long (sunday), accidentally
    -BJ in public on way back from bar, in someone's front yard
    -Boning a few feet from a popular hiking trail
    -In the men's bathroom of her work
    -BJ in bar bathroom
    -Kitchen table (terrible idea)

    To do list:
    -In the snow
    -In the rain
    -FFM
    -On a private boat, on the ocean
    -Scuba diving sex
    -FFFM