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Old Movie Review Thread

Discussion in 'Pop Culture Board' started by $100T2, Oct 30, 2009.

  1. MisterMiracle

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    The Foot Fist Way: This film is about a McDojo owner and Tai Kwan Do instructor who doesn't live by the creed he is instilling upon his students. If this film had starred Will Farrel, it would go down as one of his best films, instead it stars the perfectly cast Danny McBride. McBride plays exactly one character in every single film he's acted in, and that is of the redneck who has only one weakness, which is his ignorance to his own ignorance. It's a great schtick, especially in post Bush America, and in this film it is unbelievably effective.

    However, beyond the acting and story, this film might just be the best "line" movie in the last 5 years. I won't go into the dozens of zingers that come out of the movie that left me laughing, however, here is what might possibly be the best line a man has ever used on an unfaithful spouse.

    "Let me think about that for a second. Ok, I've thought about it and I think my answer to that question would have to be "fuck you". I don't care if you wake up in a ditch with grown men shitting on you and jumping on top of your head. Maybe your nose will turn into a big ole dick and you can stroke that all the time. I hope your hair turns into dog shit one day. You wake up and you run your comb through it and all that it is, is little trundles of dog shit. The worst shit that you could imagine. AIDS... it's cool. Everything comes around sweetheart. "

    Shakespeare on his best day wouldn't top that line.
     
  2. KIMaster

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    The Visitors, 1993 French original

    I think that on the Old Board, I ranked this as the third greatest comedy I had ever seen, but more people have seen its far crappier 2001 Hollywood adaptation "Just Visiting".

    The set-up is standard enough; Jean Reno is a knight in 12th century France, accompanied by a hunchback, constantly smiling, Igor-like squire. The environment is similar to "Monty Python and the Holy Grail", only faster paced, with more physical, less verbal comedy, and higher budget.

    Inevitably, they get sent to modern-day France one day by an evil wizard, and that's where the fun really begins. This film shines in two areas; first, their gags and set-ups are superbly executed, well-acted, and pure genius. Secondly, there's just the perfect cruel streak to their humor. Reno, as the lead, is a taciturn, menacing, humorless knight. With only his armored gloves, he attempts to castrate a citizen in the modern day after the latter fails to kneel before him.

    The constant source of abuse for him and his squire is a hapless, rat-like court jester whose descendant in the modern day similarly suffers at their hands. The plot and story, while not bad, are merely back-drops for one insane, hilarious sketch after another.

    Amazing film. Check it out.
     
  3. Sam N

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    The wizard isn't EVIL, he just forgets the eggs. Good fucking call though, this movie is funny as hell. Never saw the American remake, can't see the point. Why remake a movie, have it be exactly the same with the same characters, except not as funny?

    Another French movie that I found absolutely hilarious was Le Magnifique (The Magnificent, 1973). It's a funny take on crappy cheap little paper back novels, and a parody on spy/action type movies as well. Not to mention starring an incredibly hot Jacqueline Bisset. Seriously, this is as hot as she has ever looked.
     
  4. mad5427

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    I was flipping through the channels the other day and stumbled upon the beginning of Jerry Maguire by Cameron Crowe with Tom Cruise. Also one of the only decent movies with Cuba Gooding Jr. in it. Renee Zellweger sucks, but she's at least a little tolerant in this film. Barely. It's only because Cameron Crowe creates great characters and can even make her alright. Good love story. Good behind the scenes sports stuff. It's an enjoyable waste of a couple hours. It's not nearly my favorite of his movies, but it's still good.

    This has made me want to pop in a handful of Cameron Crowe's other movies. I'm a huge fan. Fast Times at Ridgemont High is classic classic classic. Phoebe Cates getting out of the pool. Lots of kleenex were destroyed because of that scene.

    Say Anything. Lloyd fucking Dobler! Great movie, my second favorite Cusack movie. High Fidelity is just a brilliant book and just as good of a movie.

    Singles. Another great movie. Ushered in an era. Doesn't feel like it ages as well a some of his other films, but it still captures the essence of the time.

    Almost Famous. One of my favorite movies. I think it will end up being his masterpiece and it gets better every time I see it. Being loosely based on his life makes it even more awesome. Replace Stillwater with Allman Brothers Band, The Who, Led Zeppelin, etc. and writing for Rolling Stone, when Rolling Stone was relevant.

    The music in every Cameron Crowe movie is flawless. The characters in all of his films are accessible and real. If you are in your 30's, I don't think it's possible to have not been affected by one of his films growing up.

    Before anybody else mentions them, Vanilla Sky and Elizabethtown. Still interesting character studies, not horrible, but I just try to act like they don't exist. Makes Crowe much cooler when they are left out of the discussion.
     
  5. KIMaster

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    Ah, that's what it was! The beginning was a little hazy in my head. Anyways, let's go with a recent Hollywood film for the next mini-review;

    Find Me Guilty-

    Based on the real life story of Jackie DiNorscio, a low-level Mafia goon that became a pivotal member of the longest, largest Mafia trial in US history, entertaining the jury with his vulgar, crazy testimony, while annoying everyone else. While I'm not a fan of courtroom dramas, this film is done in a very funny, fast-paced, yet searingly realistic manner. It helps that it's directed by Sidney Lumet, who has a lot of experience with the crime/court genre, with the original 12 Angry Men, Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon, and The Verdict.

    This movie has more of a humorous, less tragic bent to it, and a lot of that is based upon the strength of acting. While I would have never believed it before, Vin Diesel can act...very well, in fact, and not just as a macho, action hero, either. His performance as the lead is outstanding, as is midget's Peter Dinklage's performance as the lead prosecutor.

    Overall, it's an example of an exciting film solely on the strength of its hilarious, witty conversations. Which, again, is one of Lumet's biggest strengths.
     
  6. zyron

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    There was another good Cuba Gooding movie that was on last night Men of Honor. Also stars Robert De Niro and is based on a true story of Carl Brashear who became the first African American to be a US Navy master diver. This is probably the best movie Cuba was ever in.
     
  7. MisterMiracle

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    The Brothers Bloom: This movie is pretty much what I'd imagine if Terry Gilliam directed a con man movie written by Wes Anderson, if that makes any sense. Great cast, but it's kind of wasted on being "quirky" in favor of making characters of substance. Long on style, this film looks great from the costumes down to the production design. The characters are interesting for about 10 minutes each of an almost 2 hour movie. It's just not enough to keep me interested. As much as I dig Mark Ruffalo, he was miscast as the scheming older brother Bloom. Worth a rental on Netflix, but not much more.
     
  8. dixiebandit69

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    Steel Magnolias
    I don't know what compelled me to pick this up at the video store other than I was a little high. It's a chick flick about these women in 1980's Louisiana, Julia Roberts is a diabetic and gets married, ends up dying, and blah fuckin' blah. Shirley McLain was an annoying bitch of such proportions that the whole time it was all I could do to not shoot the screen with a 12 gauge.
    The only good parts were listening to Dolly Parton's sweet southern drawl, and seeing Shirley McLain get slapped by a 2 year old.
     
  9. MisterMiracle

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    I guess you missed the part where Dolly gets fisted by Daryl Hannah in the back of Truvy's Beauty Parlor, because that was the emotional core of the film and was also truly awesome.
     
  10. lyle

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    Franklyn
    Been out in the UK for a while now but not sure of its US release but there are good copies online if you do a bit of looking.
    Franklyn is tough to get into a first, split between 4 different story lines following Emilia, a self destructive Art student whose projects are becoming increasingly dangerous. Peter, a father looking for his son in London, Milo, who has been jilted at the altar and is looking for the innocence and purity for his first love and Jonathan Preest, a masked vigilante searching for his nemesis in the parallel world of Meanwhile City.

    The writing and storyline(s) is solid throughout, with Eva Green and Bernard Hill (Emilia and Peter) really standing out. The only let down was Milo. The character failed to hold my attention and found the acting (aside from a few key scenes in which he does deliver) quite unconvincing.


    However as it progresses and links appear in the narrative it really starts to pay off with a fantastic conclusion.

    My only gripe was how Sally was dealt with in the end... The CG just seemed so out of context that it bothered me some

    Meanwhile City, the parallel reality looks amazing. It looks like London but as it would be in a steampunk victorian future.

    Definitely worth a watch, a little bit hard to get into but worth it for the ending.
     
  11. dixiebandit69

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    Wait Until Dark
    This was about a blind woman played by Audrey Hepburn who unknowingly had a doll stuffed with heroin hidden in her apartment, and the lengths that this group of goons will go to to recover it. The highlight of the film is where Alan Arkin (playing a total scumbag) finally has had it and is ready to play dirtier than he has already to recover the doll.
    So Hepburn decides to level the playing field a bit.
    Since she is blind already, she breaks out every light bulb in the apartment, thereby making it impossible for Arkin to see either. However, she forgot one light, and you probably would have forgotten it too: The light in the refrigerator.
    Anyway, the good guys win and Hepburn's husband returns to comfort her.
    On a scale of 1-5, I give it a 3. The reasoning for this is technical: I have worked with a blind woman before, and I can tell you that blind people are a lot more aware of their surroundings than is portrayed in this movie. In the movie, there were times when there would be three goons all within arm's reach of her, but she didn't know they were there. A real blind person would be able to hear, smell, and just "sense" them there.
    Other complaints: Hepburn's character was so freaking gullible that it was almost offensive.
    But my number one complaint: Hepburn looked wonderful from the neck up, but she was as thin as a rail (probably about 100 pounds), and was wearing pants that accentuated the fact that her ass was as flat as a pancake. It just completely ruined the image of beauty I had in my mind.
     
  12. KIMaster

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    I think I'll write a (partially) negative review for a change;

    Death Proof (One Half of Grindhouse)

    Pretentious, irritating bullshit. Tarantino's dialogue reminds me of the nerdy high school kid with no friends trying to write what he THINKS "cool people talking" sounds like. He fails, miserably. (It doesn't help matters that Tarantino WAS a ninth grade drop-out with no friends, either) The first 40 plus minutes are practically torture; no action, no humor, no real drama or interesting observations. Just a lot of faux-dialogue and "watch me do/say something badass" done in the lamest manner imaginable.

    The last 40 minutes are more of the same thing, except punctuated with an unoriginal, yawn-inducing car chase. Action choreography is not QT's strong suit.

    However, to be fair, the five minutes in-between are awesome, featuring one of the greatest car collisions I've ever seen, and single-handedly raise the film's score from a 1/10 to a 2/10.

    Planet Terror (Other Half of Grindhouse)-

    Now THIS is a great film. Hilarious, insane, and violent. Zombies attack. Crazy kung-fu guy destroys them. Evil doctors. Evil military. Badass old school sheriff. Stripper with a machine gun on her leg. Lesbian lovers.

    Every absurd cliche and character imaginable is in this film, and it's presented in a fast-paced, light-hearted, and extremely entertaining manner. Definitely check it out.
     
  13. with-teeth

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    I saw the following three movies last weekend:

    Amores Perros (2000) - A beautifully crafted work of pain (i'm choosing that as the main adjective because, quite simply put, I wasn't the least bit happy). The three stories are wonderfully interlocked and Arriaga's use of dogs as a metaphor for money (or so i think) is masterfully done. Without a doubt among the best films of the century.

    Ben X (2007) - Whoever directed this grew up around computers. Utterly insane editing and a brilliantly written main character give it a thoroughly uncomfortable feeling through out - but come on, the main character has Aspenger's so as a result it was easily amongst the most involving cinematic experiences of my life. One for Belgium!

    Adoration (2008) - Though the recurring theme of love is laughably examined, it's hard not to feel the pain every characters feels in this. Constant terrorism-related controversy flooods the screenplay in juxtaposition with themes of tolerance, which is mostly what the film is about. Though not a fan of "Exotica", Egoyan hasn't lost his touch, even though I don't think he's done much worthy of mention since his 1997 masterpiece "The Sweet Hereafter".
     
  14. MisterMiracle

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    Choke: What the fuck? I mean seriously, what the fuck? This film was fucking horrible. There's nothing cohesive about the story and the direction is the definition of "uneven". Despite stellar performances by Sam Rockwell and others, this film is a complete mess. Flashbacks come out of nowhere and mean very little to the actual story, supporting characters have subplots that are never even tried to be resolved. Plot twists come and go and... what the fuck?

    I wasn't expecting another Fight Club, but... what the fuck?!?! Watching this movie was like getting burning herpes sores in my eyes.

    Mod edit: Anyone else care to offer a review of Choke?
     
  15. carpenter

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    Big Trouble in Little China
    This movie came out when I was in high school and it was cheesy & funny. I watched it the other day, still cheesy and funny.

    Blade Runner
    Just completely bad ass. Rutger Hauer's greatest performance.

    Endless Summer 2
    Even if you don't/never surf, watching Pipeline go off in HD is so cool.

    The Professional
    Who doesn't want to be an Italian hit man? Leon was so cool in this movie, he made Fonzie look like a simpering little bitch.

    Indiana Jones The lost Ark
    Say what you will about Spielberg & Uncle George, they got this movie right. Melting Nazis? Bullwhips? Snakes? Bald guy into a propeller?
    This could only have been better with more boobies.
     
  16. lyle

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    Ok. I'll give Choke an attempt at a reasonable review (despite being far from sober).

    If you've read the book, the film is completely frustrating but enjoyable. The main storyline is relatively faithful to the book though naturally the *twists" are very easily spotted. However Sam Rockwell and Angelica Houston do shine in this film.

    My main problem with Choke is that at 90 minutes, it struggles to resolve (and do justice) so many of the plots (and subplots), unlike Fight Club which can be viewed as a separate entity to the book (even though in my opinion, its actually better than the book), to fully enjoy and to understand Choke it's necessary to have read the book before hand to completely understand what the hell is happening at times since 1/2 of the storylines don't explicitly appear to tie in with the overall narrative
    like the explanation and escalation of Denny's rock collection and the role that Victor plays in it

    In a nutshell, if you haven't read the book, watch the film and then buy the book. If you've already read the book don't expect it to be on the same level as fight club.. but still, its a relatively enjoyable film and chances are, you'll be able to keep up with everything going on without getting too confused.

    Performance wise, pretty much everyone delivers. The main cast (Rockwell, Houston and Henke) are all convincing, requiring little suspension of disbelief.

    I wouldn't say it is a 'must see' film, but if you're a fan of Chuck Palahniuk it's worth a watch
     
  17. LucasJackson

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    This is one of my favorite movies. I watched it again a couple years ago, and one thing I picked up on - good god that's a slow movie. It's trademark David Lean - 3 1/2 hours long, tons of dialogue, grand sweeping story arc, epic cinematography... capped off with a mind blowing climax. If anything, you gotta watch it for the ending. The last 10 minutes are as good as anything in American cinema.

    My all time favorite movie though, probably forever, is the 1952 western High Noon. If you care at all about great story telling or solid characters, give this movie a watch. Believe me, I'm not big on Westerns. I think they're all the same and rarely hold any creative spark. But watch High Noon - it is transcendent and beautifully told and has enough salty characters and story lines to support half a dozen lesser movies, all within an hour and a half. In an age where great movies relied on a strong story to support itself, High Noon knew how to deliver.
     
  18. Kubla Kahn

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    I am on a "classic" movie binge lately, and not new Hollywood 70's classics, Im talking the Golden Age movies. My all time old movie favorite is Stalag 17. A WWII POW comedy/drama starring William Holden. The main story focuses on Holden's character who is the camp's con man with a sharp tongue. His behavior makes him the suspect for barracks rat which drives the drama part of the film. A couple of bumbling buddies and the Barracks guard provide the comic relief in the film. You can tell the direct influence this film had on Hogans Heroes.
     
  19. shegirl

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    We don't have a DVD/BluRay thread of anykind but it would be a crime not to mention that Fight Club just turned 10 years old. There is an Anniversary Edition of it available on BluRay.
    [​IMG]
     
  20. huh

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    Starktrek (2009)

    For the record, I've never been a Startrek fan b/c but this movie just had to be mentioned. It was just fucking epic (think Lord of the Rings epic but in Sci-Fi).
    It had black holes, red matter, time travel, exploding suns and imploding planets. It's a nerdgasm of all sorts.