Oh, this? I'm just playing "Hide and Please Shit on Me"

A man was recently caught hiding in a port-o-potty at a yoga festival. Source

"The woman, who was not identified by authorities, said when she lifted the toilet seat lid, she noticed something moving in the tank, according to a Boulder Police news release.
The woman exited the toilet and asked a man who was standing nearby to check inside. The man told police he saw someone inside the tank covered with a tarp.
An event security supervisor who was summoned to the scene waited for several minutes outside the toilet until a barefoot, shirtless man emerged.
"The supervisor tried to detain the suspect, but he ran away, covered in feces," the release said."

Hey, at least he had a tarp. Right?

Focus:
Discuss this mess of a human. While I'm sure none of you have willingly jumped in a port-o-potty and waited for the show, what's the most disgusting situation you've ever found yourself in?

Alt. Focus:
Hide-and-go-seek gone wrong. Ever get the perfect hiding place, only to have it completely backfire on you?

I once hid in the dryer when my sister and I were playing in the house on a rainy day when we were kids. It was great...until mom decided to fluff the clothes that were still in there.

 

Wow, a hide-and-seek themed thread with a Schindler's List twist. Um...the Aristocrats!

We have truly hit rock bottom.

 

Alt. Focus: One time when I was a kid I was playing hide and seek with my sister and her friend. I hid inside of a closet or something and waited. After some time, I hadn't been discovered so I figured I picked one hell of a spot and patted myself on the back. After an even longer time I thought maybe my spot was so good, I should move somewhere else because I was getting bored of waiting. I peeked around, and then dashed from my spot to an easier spot. I waited for quite some time and then thought maybe my sister had gotten hurt or something. I peeked around and started looking for them. I found my sister and her friend outside in the backyard playing a totally different game. I cried and told my mom.

 

New years eve 2000. I was 18 years old, and home on my very first holiday leave from the Navy. I went up to St. Cloud (which I've mentioned before as a classy college town), to visit the guys I grew up with. One of my buddies was going to school at St. Cloud State, while working at a local bank to help pay his dues.

A hot girl he worked with was having a new years party three blocks away from the house my boy was renting. We figured we could go drink, maybe hook up, and walk to where things were safe.

I remember that we started out playing quarters with fucking pitchers. Right before midnight the cops showed, because some dumbass had hired a DJ for the basement of a party where many people would be underage.

I don't know the laws in other states, but in MN, if a cop asks to come in, you have to say yes, per the fourth amendment. Some dipshit said, "Yeah, come on in."

So downstairs we get the word that cops are here, and most people scatter. Me, (being the skinny little bastard I was), I head to the laundry room. I figure, "I used to be able to fit in the dryer, maybe I can still do that." I open up the dryer and say hi to Melissa, who is already in there.

I promise her I will open it if she gets stuck and end up hiding in a giant cardboard box under the stairs. First place the cops look? Right where I am. I get a flashlight shined in my face with the cop saying, "Don't be fuckin stupid."

The way the line turned out, I was blowing into the breathalyzer as the year rolled over. 1999, bloooooow, release, 2000. Brilliant. They gave me a ticket I never paid, so I may still have a warrant in MN.

Then me and my buddies found three girls out of the crowd that the cops made "go home", and we plied them with the champagne that we stole from aforementioned party. It ended up being a very good night.

The hide and go seek gone wrong was the dryer thing, but this is just one of my favorite stories.

 

My parents live in an old home with a lot of pretty badass spots to hide, so we used to have pretty epic games of hide-and-seek growing up.

Sometimes (read also: most times) I don't use my brain, and I remember one particular game where I went to hide in my room and locked the door (yes, cheated) behind me. As I sat in my room, I started to think about how I could hide even better, so I stepped into the attic and locked the door there too. Turns out the attic had a one-way lock, and eventually I realized that I couldn't get out, so I started screaming for help.

Skip to my father marching up the stairs to rescue me, and reaching for the bedroom door, only to find it locked. There sat his dumb-ass daughter, behind two locked doors. Brilliance at its finest, people.

He ended up having to kick in my bedroom door to get in and unlock the attic door from the outside for me. My bedroom is now his office, and 15 years later, the lock still isn't fixed. It reminds me how stupid I was (read also: am) every time I see it.

 

Karma for the hairbrush?

You rammed a hairbrush in a passed out dude's asshole. And you think a little hot sauce on your willy is more disgusting and/or fucked up? Dude... You're fucked in the head.

 

I can't really blame the guy. Sitting in a porta potty sounds like a lot more fun than going to a yoga festival.

 

My friends dad had a bunch of carhartt coveralls

Spoiler

in their basement, so I put one on once and hid in their freezer.

Spoiler

It was a damn good spot.

 

The house I grew up in had an interesting bathroom for us kids. There was a lot of space behind the toilet (eventually filled by shelving). The game in question involved my sister hiding in the space behind the toilet, and not being found. . . Until my friend decided to go poop because he couldn't find her. She decided to tell him where she was.

 

They found the guy...