Oh baby, that was the best orgasm EVER! You're a rockstar!

The mental image of you post-sex drooling like a retard trying to land some on some poor tramp's back is making me laugh uncontrollably while sitting at my desk so thanks for that.

Focus- I've pulled the faking inside the condom trick then ran for the bathroom to flush it down, sometimes alcohol is an evil evil bastard.

 

Everyone knows that girls with names with at least two adjacent vowels are sluts so it's just expected you'll do what we say.

On focus: I've faked it with girls a couple times and I know I've had one girl fake it with me a couple, as well. Like everyone else, alcohol generally played a role when I couldn't finish but I always had a condom on so after 45 minutes or so each time, I knew it wasn't going to happen and just wanted to be done so I faked it and ran to the bathroom as quickly as possible to flush it each time.

However, the girl that faked it with me was an odd situation. I was dating a girl a few years ago and we were doing distance for more than a year and a half. Distance is a horrible idea. As a result, I only saw her about once a month at the most and thus, because I wasn't cheating on her, we only had sex a few times a month, all in one weekend. That then meant that it would take me a little while to actually get my stamina back once we were actually together again- I've talked to other guys about this and apparently it's a lot more common than I thought at the time but back then, I was pretty insecure about it which then just exacerbated the situation. Because I couldn't last that long, she would fake it to make me not feel as shitty about it (except when she got mad at me about it - sorostitutes are funny things).

Eventually she told me and we stopped doing distance so the problem resolved itself. It sucked at first to find out because ignorance is bliss but sex is such a large part of relationships, if one party's unhappy, it has to change. It makes no sense to me why you wouldn't tell your partner if you're in a relationship. If it's a one night stand, I really couldn't care less, though.

 

I fake it because I care.

 

I generally want to know if a girl is faking. Although, I'd rather she just tell me what the hell she wants before it gets to that point.
Knowing when a girl is orgasming really depends on who I'm with. An ex of mine would literally spasm and roll around, So unless she had a coincidental string of epileptic seizures, it was really easy to tell.

 

The last time I faked an orgasm, my wife got pregnant.

 

I don't understand.
I've heard other women say this but...as soon as he enters it's like. "Ahh. Yes. Right there..." and the boinkfest begins. The penetration is the best part for me.

 

Lemme guess---not raised Catholic, right?

 

No. Baptist.

 

Exactly.

Actually, I'm sort of serious. Not that I care as much as don't want to try and explain why I didn't. I've faked it a few times, for reasons similar to a few others...too much booze, lack of sensation due to condom, etc. However, there have been a few times I didn't and said it wasn't going to happen, which ended up with her deciding that something was wrong with her, despite my protests. Which in turn made me the dick because if I didn't want to fuck, why did I bother? She doesn't need a pity fuck, and there are plenty of guys who would die to fuck her, you know. If I didn't get it up, she'd understand, but obviously I think she's hideous, and really, I'm not all that great looking anyway so where the fuck do I get off hitting on her in the first place, if she was "so gross"? In fact, I should just get the fuck out and try not to puke from disgust on the way, and I'm a FUCKING ASSHOLE. *ehem* Faking it has it's place.

I'm not naive enough to believe no one has faked it with me, but I can't think of a time in particular where I thought "Oh yeah, she's fucking with me." So hooray for me, I guess. Mad skills, yo.

 

I would probably argue that the penetration is the best part for me, too, but it's super unlikely that I'm going to orgasm from penetration alone. It's not that I don't enjoy it, I do, VERY much, it's just that I only have vaginal orgasms when the moons all line up correctly and cupid blesses me, or something, so I'm not going to stress myself out trying to make it happen. Instead, I'm going to enjoy the fucking and try to make it as good as possible for my guy, and I'll get my orgasmic jollies before/after.

 

Faking an orgasm is like letting the retarded kid play the last two minutes of the game because your team is up four touchdowns. Sure, you're making somebody smile, but at what cost eventually?

 

It's kind of funny, I feel like most girls on the board are like you, which is pretty rare. As far as I know, only about 20-35% of women come from penetration alone, but the numbers seem reversed on this board.

Question for the guys: any of you ever had it up the backroad? Is it as intense as advertised? Can you come from that alone or do you need a reacharound?

 

There it is. Now that I've heard somebody else say that, can women stop shoving their finger in my face and saying "No! Stop!!! You don't know what you're talking about! It's the best, most INTENSE orgasm a man can have!! You haven't lived yet BLAH BLAH BLAH..."

What I DO know is that the ones I already have just suit me fine and dandy. Believe me, they are good. Always.

Some guys just don't like that. Some do. Some really, REALLY do. I don't. Tried the finger thing once long ago and it was uncomftorable and weird for me personally.

 

Hey. As long as you guys acknowledge that women feel the same way about anal.

 

Also not a raft I enjoy clinging to. Guys who "go for that" right away on every woman they're in the sack with have issues.

 

I'd rather have a penis covered in vaginal blood than last night's pad thai.

 

There is no way in hell I would want her to fake it! If I'm not doing something right let me know. Like Banky said in Chasing Amy, sex should be like CNN or the Weather Chanel, constant updates.

My job during sex is to get her off as many times as possible. That's where I get my joy from. She has to get off at least twice before I do. If all I needed was to bust a nut, I can do that myself.