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Obesity saving lives

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by scotchcrotch, Feb 24, 2010.

  1. scotchcrotch

    scotchcrotch
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    Woman credits her love handles for stopping a bullet from killing her.

    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35549378/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35549378/</a>

    Wow, I don't know where to go with this, but it's hilarious.

    Exactly what part of her anatomy is being protected by her love handles?

    She's promoting obesity now, but couldn't she look a little more presentable for a nationwide photo?

    Focus- Discuss logic as idiotic as hers.
     

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  2. PIMPTRESS

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    They probably wouldn't have clipped her at all if she wasn't such a lumbering, wheezing, fat ass target.
     
  3. Indiana

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    I don't even know where her tits are. For all we know, THAT could have been what stopped the bullet. Ninja tits... black as the night, coming from all angles, in silence, and boob sweat.
    And what do you mean not presentable? Her hair is did.
     
  4. Crazy Wolf

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    I guess the idea is that presenting a larger, fatter target, there's a better chance of them hitting something non-vital? I'd prefer not being shot at all, frankly.
     
  5. Baxpin

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    She's double fucked once it's human shield time.
     
  6. VanillaGorilla

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    Technically, and I do mean technically, she's kind of right.

    Handgun bullets are interesting things. They're usually slow moving and don't create large wound channels the way a very fast or very large projectile would. Part of a bullet's effects are centered around tissue disruption in the immediate vicinity of the bullet. Large and/or fast (2,000+ fps) bullets are very good at this. Slow moving pistol ammunition (~1,000 fps) usually kills by the actual hole it creates. In other words, the subject is more likely to bleed to death rather than die of massive tissue trauma. The bullet just doesn't have enough 'umph' to cause the devastating permanent wound cavities that kill immediately. This means that a pistol bullet kills by penetration. According to the FBI, 12"-18" of penetration is necessary in order to guarantee incapacitation in an acceptable amount of time. Subsequently, a person with an extra 8-10" of bodyfat could be less susceptible to marginal handgun calibers.

    But, I guess the thought never crossed her mind that if she were smaller, the bullet wouldn't have hit her fat ass to begin with.
     
  7. Crown Royal

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    All it takes is one stupid coincidence and every idiot will start hanging off another idiot's word. Promoting obesity is promoting mass murder. There's a reason why the better of us try to stay healthy and eat right: we want to live our lives long and well.

    She didn't get her life saved from her disgusting appearence, she was shot because she was fat and the bullet couldn't miss. Maybe the intended target was hiding behind her (a tree or small car would be a qualified substitute) and her folds just caught it like a baseball glove. Whatever. Keep it up with the steady diet of Pop Tarts, Cheetos and Pizza with Personal pizzas as toppings and see how life-saving it is when they have to quick-cut through your living room wall to cart your gelatinous ass to the hospital or shatter a bathtub to get you out of it.
     
  8. ghettoastronaut

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    Clearly this calls for a randomized control trial where obese people are to be shot in various anatomical locations, and the results analyzed for lethality.

    Either that, or put obese people out as human shields on the front of armoured vehicles and troopsin Afghanistan. The most cutting edge in personnel protection technology - fatasses.
     
  9. shegirl

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    I don't think she has boobs, she has shmoobs, when the tits and stomach become one.

    I like her doo. It's like I Dream of Jeannies for black chicks.
     
  10. kuhjäger

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    Now she wants to get fatter, in the unlikely event that she get shot again. Because a one in a million chance (perhaps lower in her community) of getting shot out weighs the 1 in 25 chance she has of having a heart attack in the next 5 years.
     
  11. Crown Royal

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    Well put, and don't forget it didn't take many bullets to kill Biggie (five I think), and it was a hard enough chore getting him out of his flying buttress-reinforced bed.
     
  12. c_norris

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    Samantha Frazier: reppin' the state of Joisey since 1975.
     
  13. Kubla Kahn

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    I don't want to get too Dale Gribbly here but you guys are missing the point, when the second civil war starts they will have the advantage with massive fat stores and bullet proof weaves.
     
  14. MoreCowbell

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    So fat chicks are now pro-lovehandles. Please. More like MyHusbandOnlyLooksAtMeWithMildDisgustAndFucksHisSecretaryHandles
     
  15. Crown Royal

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    Yep. To them it's "More to hold onto". To normal humans, it's something that "makes you close your eyes and pretend she's the babysitter".
     
  16. Pussy Galore

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    Branching from obesity, and trying not to get too political:

    A component of my bioethics class is formal debates. Today's debate was the [im]morality of abortion. I'm moderately pro choice, so that certainly influenced me. BUT there were two arguments from the pro life team that I don't think I could have wrapped my head around even if I had agreed with their side.

    1: Potential mothers should not abort an embryo/fetus because the cost (their estimation was $400) may be too much for a teenager or impoverished woman to afford. My younger sister did a project for high school health class on the cost of having a child from pregnancy through the first year of life. Her estimate, which included the cost of necessities (i.e., formula, diapers, and clothing), hospital bills, and daycare, came to around $30,000, I think. For one year. $400 doesn't look so bad after all.

    2. Emergency contraception is a form of abortion because it prevents implantation of a fertilized egg (as well as ovulation and fertilization itself), and they believed life begins at fertilization. In that vein of thought, any form of birth control that prevents implantation, such as regular hormonal birth control, is abortive. Besides which, how does one know whether or not fertilization has occured at the time Plan B is taken? It's currently impossible. So the female would have to wait until a pregnancy test could tell her. At which point, it would be too late for Plan B. Sneaky pro lifers.

    Hope that wasn't too political. Carry on with making fun of horrendously fat people.
     
  17. scotchcrotch

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    FUPAs have been credited in preventing fatal stabbings.

    I hope she brings that up on her obesity tour, sponsored by Krispy Kreme.
     
  18. Crown Royal

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    You may absorb bullets...but mace?

    [​IMG]
     
  19. MoreCowbell

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    So what you're saying is that FUPAs are inversely correlated with sexual attractiveness.

    Got it.
     
  20. ghettoastronaut

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    Hold on everyone, I have some fun to suck up...

    There is no evidence to suggest that Plan B actually works by stopping the implantation of the fertilized egg. It's a theoretical suggestion as to one of its many mechanisms of action (its primary mechanisms being to prevent ovulation and inhibit sperm from reaching the fallopian tubes) There's no real evidence to support the idea, and there's not much evidence to refute it, either. As you can imagine, it's kind of hard to do studies on things like this.

    Back on topic: I've mentioned before that a medical resident buddy of mine found a muffin under a woman's pannus (i.e. a FUPA so big it folds over and forms a pouch). I wonder if they could start installing kevlar plates up there, or maybe store a weapon for concealed carry. In fact, those fancy naked body airport scanners can't see into people's fat folds. So, storing a concealed weapon and body armour = saving your life if someone tries to accost you. But hiding shit from airport security makes you a terrorist.

    Do they make water boards in plus size?