Happy coffee day! Celebrate one of the best legal drugs out there, caffeine, packaged within the sultry package of the roasted coffee bean, brewed to satisfaction...trickling down your throat, surging through your veins, and awakening your bowels. I drank so much coffee in college that I gave myself an arrhythmia. Spoiler: NSFW Oh me. Oh my! Happy Friday! Be safe.
Going to The Big "E" tomorrow. It's New England's fair since the states are too small and dumb to have their own. It's also the 3rd largest fair in the US. Going to eat like shit and look at morbidly obese cowboys on mobility scooters. Somehow these people exist in western Massachusetts.
Coffee sucks ass. I don't understand how anyone drinks it by choice. I take caffeine pills for my daily fix. Spoiler: NSFW View attachment 21726 Am I the only one who thinks that those underboob tattoos don't look that great? I mean, yeah, it looked cool the first few times I saw them, but then they got a lot more common... Kinda like tramp-stamps* in the '90s. One of my old friends is a tattoo artist these days (he did mine and JJ's wedding ring tattoos), and he posts most of his new jobs on his Facebook page, and I see a good number of underboob tats on there. I think the underboob tattoos really detract from a nice stomach. Man, I really like a nice stomach on a woman these days. *When I was in high school, my World History teacher tried to pitch me on getting a male tramp stamp. You see, this teacher had a (non-visible) tattoo; it was common knowledge around the kids in her classes, and it was the mid '90s, right before tattoos became acceptable to the mainstream public. Also, just for descriptive purposes, this woman was probably mid-fifties, greying hair, used to be a stripper in the Vietnam era, and had a Mid-Western accent so thick you'd need an ax to cut through it. Also, she really liked me. Most kids considered her a total bitch (and she could be), but I could get away with murder in her class. So I was thinking about an arm tattoo, and I decided to ask her advice about it after class one day. She was like: "Yeah, that's nice, but you know what all those surfer boys in California do? They get these tattoos on their lower back (she then turns around with her hands spread out on her lower back/ butt), and the rest of it keeps going down below the waistline! That way, when they're surfing, people can see the top, but the bottom is private, and that's between you and your girlfriend! It looks really good!" At the time, I just wanted advice about artists, the pain, etc., but it made me think: "Would that look good on me? It might look good on me. But I really want that tribal sleeve like George Clooney had in 'From Dusk 'til Dawn.' " I never had any plans for a tattoo in that area, so I just ditched the idea. BUT WHAT IF I HADN'T?! I'd be a guy who could never take his shirt off in public again.
Im not a fan of the boob chandelier tattoos. Im not sure it is the lighting but Ive never seen nipples that close to the surrounding skin tone in my life.
Tomorrow's my annual fall BBQ extravaganza. Approximately 200 lbs of various meats/seafood will be smoked/grilled/deep fried throughout the day. Pretty sure PETA has us on their top 10 list each fall.
I can only imagine the logistics that goes into doing something like that. I'd love to see a timeline plan if you have one... and it must be nuts to ensure that shit is done on time. How do you handle that? Get it done early and then just keep it warm? What kind of leeway do you give yourself for a brisket that's not playing ball?
And I'll have you know I successfully smoked a whole chicken last night, so it's not like I'm some newb at this.
So, at this point, we've been doing it for18 years, so it's basically down to a science for us timing and logistics wise. The big things like the briskets, pastrami, and whole pork shoulders have all already been in the smoker for a couple of hours; I'll keep feeding those for about another hour, then go to bed until about 6am eastern. At that point, I'll restock the fire, then get to work on things like ribs, pork belly burnt ends, and turkey. The rest of the stuff is "quicker" in the fact that it only takes a couple of hours at the most; stuff like homemade sausage, cedar planked salmon, chicken wings that we'll smoke just to get some flavor on, then finish in a turkey fryer, a pork loin that I will sous vide first, then sear on the flat-top. It's a bit of an all-day event, so we purposely DON'T have everything done at the same time since people come and go throughout the day and we want there to be something out available at any time throughout the day if someone stops by. As far as keeping things warm that DO finish earlier than we anticipate, we have some cambro catering coolers for storage that we can just stash stuff in until it's needed.
So... Many years ago, there was an 'incident' that forced me to self enact a rule that I'm not allowed to start drinking until after the last of the food comes off the smokers. So, I have the self control to make sure I don't repeat said incident. HOWEVER, once the food is done, all bets are off. Since it is at my own house, I typically sneak away while everyone is eating and have a cold shower beer to celebrate/refresh myself after about 12 hours of work.
I managed to miss the last step or two and fall down the stairs again. This time I sprained my ankle. I'm about ready to install one of those old people stair chairs and call it a day.
In the interest of weird sex stuff… I work at a medical clinic and we’re trying to get rid of an old exam table and I’m 99% sure it’s going to end up in someone’s sex dungeon. After the obligatory “is this available” everyone keeps asking if it has stirrups.