Now my whole day is ruined

The way in which I handle traffic usually determines how my day will go. If I'm easygoing and don't feel my blood pressure rise when someone cuts me off, it will be a semi-decent day. After all, I AM on my way to work.

Also, if my boss gets to work before me. He usually strolls in about a half-hour to hour after me, which gives me time to check my daily websites and get some coffee. If he's there before me, it sets the tone of "GO! GO! GO!" all day, with no time to even pee.

 

Depends on if I have to take a morning shit, and it's because I'm very superstitious.

If I have to shit when first waking up, which is only once a week at most, it's going to be a "shit" week. Get it?

Fuck my life.

 

I play it out on how well my 1 year old acts while I get her ready for daycare. If she's jubilent like usual, all systems go. If she decides to act like a glassy-eyed terminal air-raid siren with teeth, then Daddy's usually going to be carrying a bad day chip on the shoulder the rest of the day.

 

Any day the dog decides pooping on the carpet is a better alternative to waking me up so he can go out will generally end badly.

If I pour out my cereal and realize I don't have enough milk to eat it with, that's another a bad day too.

 

I work second shift, so I sleep in until roughly 10:30 every morning. When I hear Mexicans blaring rap music en espanol directly outside my bedroom window while hammering nails into my neighbor's roof at 7:45 A.M., I know the day is pretty much shot.

 

Here's my simple way of determining a good day from a bad day.

Step 1: Awaken.
Step 2: Try to move without pain.

If step 2 is unsuccessful, it will be a bad day. Step 2 hasn't been successful yet.

Some of you lot are pussies. Pussies, I tells ya.

 

Fixed that for you.

Dad always told me: "Every day's a good day. You're not dead, are you? Ok then."

I laughed at that every time I heard it, but after thinking about it for a long time I realized it's deeper than it appears.

 

Once did something similar. What makes most people "drowsy," puts me down for the count. I'm talking 12-18 hour marathon sleep sessions. A normal dose of anything that lists "tiredness/drowsiness" as even a remote side-effect is going to fuck up my world. Thusly, most stuff like Allegra I can't even take, unless it's washed down with a pot of coffee.

Didn't know benadryl had that side-effect. Cue 2.5 hour commute of death, bookending a meeting I don't remember.

Focus: I have blood sugar issues. When my blood sugar gets low, I get anxious, light-headed, paranoid, claustrophobic, and even, at times, extremely depressed. This works great with my penchant for booze. A heavy night of drinking (alcohol = sugar) results for most people in a hangover. For me, it results in hell. If I don't eat something heavy both before I go to sleep, and as soon as I wake up, my day is fucked. Combine this with the fact that I don't eat eggs or pretty much any breakfast stuff, and it gets sticky. (It's a hospital thing... you know how some people have post-traumatic stress where random little shit that reminds them of the event sets them off? Well I'm not sure if I have PTS, but what I just mentioned, and Luby's, both bring back terrible memories and if eaten will result in Samr going apeshit paranoid and probably puking from nerves.)

Also works the other way around; if I'm fine at night but don't eat in the morning and take a late lunch, my blood sugar level goes and buries itself in the sand. Thusly, I'm a raging depressed dickhead that just wants to lay on my bed in the fettle position, until I get the sugar levels pack up. Gatorade works wonders to keep it all smoothed out.

 

If I can't open my eyes wide enough to put my contacts in and instead of have to wear my glasses to work, I can tell that I'm going to be tired as hell and lethargic all day. Unfortunately, it seems that those days are some of the busiest and stressful. On the plus side, it's easier to rub my eyes. No worries about accidentally unlodging my contact!

 

For me, the sure fire sign that it is going to be a bad day is when I manage to take a shower without noticing that I forgot to grab a fresh towel and hang it near the shower. It doesn't happen very often, but it sucks when it does. I had to walk, soaking wet, from the bathroom to my bedroom the other day to get a fresh towel from a pile of clean clothes.

Hell, I even woke up tired as hell one Monday morning and when I realized that I didn't even have any clean towels that pushed it over the edge. I called in sick that day and stayed in bed watching Saved by the Bell and Home Improvement reruns.

 

It doesn't always mean its going to be a bad day, but I'm always immediately wary when I go to put in my contacts for the day and I can't seem to get them in right. I either drop them and have to clean them off or I have them in, blink, and the damn thing falls on the ground. I HATE having to fuss with contacts when I first wake up and have been known to toss a fresh pair directly into the trash after failing to get them in. Then I get pissed after the fact because I just wasted contacts. It tends to snowball from there until I'm seething in rage before I even get to my truck.



Fuck those days.

 

If I get tagged at every light on the way to work, it will be a bad day...guaranteed. I guess it doesn't help that I stay angered from the traffic for an hour after I arrive. The driving here in Houston is just deplorable. I think I would almost rather be back in south Florida. Almost.

 

I like to wake up as late as I possibly can without being late for work while still being presentable. This means coffee at work.

My coworker starts at six in the morning. If he's been too busy to make the coffee like he always does by the time the rest of us roll in at 8, I know that today will have bad news written all over it.

 

Whenever I drive more than 10 minutes from home while heading to the airport or office and realize I've forgotten something important (cell phone, passport, money clip, etc) and have to rush back to get it.

The reason is that I forget one thing I usually have forgot something else. I'll rush back, run inside, grab said item, run out, jump in the car, get to the end of the driveway and remember something else. Very annoying and it usually sets a shitty tone for the day.