This isn't as simplistic a question as either side is arguing it to be. After thinking long and honestly, I have decided there are some female friends that were both of us single, I would have sex with, others I wouldn't, and some I'm not sure about. The complicating factor is that for someone to be my friend, they have to possess a certain level of intellectual interest to me. And for a number of reasons, there are way more guys that fit that description than women. Thus, the girls that are interesting to me in terms of talking/being around don't necessarily have to be attractive and beautiful, but at the same time...there is definitely something sexy about a woman that can hold my attention with her personality/words, not just her body. Specifically though, there are certain female friends who I would not have sex with given even the perfect situation/opportunity. But there are definitely many that I would. I'm sure that on some level, women view male friends the same way, except that females generally have much higher standards when it comes to sex than men do, so simply presenting a certain amount of interest isn't enough. (Yes, there are exceptions both ways)
This is the crux of the debate. I liken this to the following example: Let's say you have a friend, for purposes of argument they are the same gender, and they own a boat. You like boats a lot. You hang with this friend, and deep down, you're hoping at some point that you'll get asked to go out on the boat. Other than that, you and this person act as friends. We come now to the nature of friendship. My contention (certainly subject to criticism) is that friendship, true friendship, means that you have no agenda other than being in the person's presence without wanting more. For me, and for many guys I know, if we're hanging with a woman, and we're single, etc., at some point we're probably hoping for sex. So the ultimate question is this: Given that a man will probably desire sex (and this does not mean he will necessarily act on it) from the female 'friend' are they truly friends? I'm not saying guys can't be monogamous, faithful, etc. They can and do all the time. My point is merely one of intention and the nature of friendship. Can you truly be friends with someone whom you desire (on some level) more than friendship from? For me, friendship is a pretty pure concept and when you want something more from it for your benefit and to satisfy your desire, it ceases being a true friendship. While the two people can certainly act as friends for all purposes, I think the man's intentions and desire to have sex (whether he acts on them or not) negates friendship. Just my take on it.
I've had girl friends, who were only friends, since I was born. From age 0-6 my best friend was my next door neighbour, a girl. She had three sisters. I had one. We played house and went on adventures. Then she and I became friends with three boys from the neighbourhood, and we're all just friends to this day. Through elementary/junior high, because we were so close, people would often talk about how we were going to end up marrying or at least dating. We reacted to the idea the same way we'd react to someone saying we should marry our sibling. In high school, most of my girl interactions were with either my girlfriend, or a buddies' girlfriend, though, through childhood neighbour girl, I made (just) friends with two other girls (though we don't keep in close contact anymore). In college, I met the majority of what turned out to be my current close circle of friends. Five of them are girls. Three of them I have never even considered being anything more than friends with, one I had a crush on when we first met, and the other I fooled around with back in the day (seven years ago). Today, she's one of the few people I tell everything to, and she does the same with me (even while living with her boyfriend). Since college, I've made two more extremely close girl friends. Both started out as dating, and we hooked up, but now we're only friends, to the point where they come to me with relationship issues (I do the same, I just don't have relationships as often). They're my go-to girls for when I need to shop for adult/dress clothes, and I'm their go-to guy to help them move. I love it. I think strictly platonic male-female relationships are not only possible, but inevitable. I'd bet in 50-100 years, in western society, this topic would hardly warrant much conversation. One thing I'm certain of is that if you're a guy and you don't have any platonic girl friends, you're missing out. Aside from being a great wingman, and always having a default date-buddy, being around a female perspective is beneficial for any guy who wants to become more interesting...to a female perspective. I know and contribute (comedically) to the stereotype of girls being crazy/bitchy/talky, and it's by no means a total lie (it's total truth for the lame ones), but there a lots of cool ones, and there's something so soothing about being in the (platonic) presence of a pleasant, intelligent, girly...girl. And they smell nice.
I've been on both sides of the spectrum, having girls I wanted to sleep with but was just friends and having girls that I hooked up with that are friends. It's pretty much always going to happen, not everyone can fuck whoever they want so you're bound to end up in the former situation at some point in your life. I found that the key was to keep my options open and hook up with other girls, even if you're pining for the one that's just a friend. When your getting some of your needs filled the situation isn't so dire. It's when you cut yourself off from the rest of the female population and your "friend" becomes the light at the end of your pathetic tunnel that you can get into some real emotional distress and it's completely unnecessary.
Did you actually read the stats where it goes into the frequency? Almost half of men that responded either had sex less than a few times a year down to none in the past year (48 percent). 26 percent reported a few times within the past month. I don't know about you but 3/4 of men is a pretty huge fucking number to me. If most men are anything like me or the people I know, I imagine they go bonkers if they don't get laid at least 3 or 4 times a week.
I tend to approach these things from three fronts: 1) How much do I trust/emotionally connect with the girl? 2) How much am I physically attracted to the girl? 3) How much am I romantically into the girl (translation for the womenfolk: "the butterflies") While I have never had a romantic interest in a girl I wasn't physically attracted to, the rest of the combinations have occurred. Hell, just this week I hooked up with a girl who I'm really attracted to, and who I trust more than any of my guy friends, but who chances are I will never date or be romantically involved with. I have other girls I'm just friends with, and still others who I'm all three with but they don't feel the same, but since I'm open and honest about these things it's all out in the open and it doesn't generate drama or tension. I mean yeah, if you're the kind of guy who pretends to be a girl's friend without ever confessing that you sniff the seat every time she gets up, you're going to have fucked up views on friendship, and if you feel that sex and friendship are mutually exclusive (or that any positive feeling towards a girl you want to fuck is by definition romantic), then you're also going to fail to grasp the concept, but short of that I see no reason why men and women can't be friends, in a whole number of sexual and non sexual contexts.
Whew, got under somebody's skin today. No, I been with hundreds of women... Maybe thousands. I... I just ain't never really ever made love to a woman. You know, I've done 3-ways, 4-ways, menage-a-tois, menage sept, menage seises. I've sixty-nined, eighty-nined, one hundred fourteened. Golden, diamond and platinum showers. I like that. I mean, I ripped shit up. Done all that, but I ain't never ever made love to a woman. I once went on a trip with a group of friends, slept in the bed with two of my best girlfriends and had a night involving fuzzy handcuffs, a length of rope, a ceiling fan, a bunson burner, a paper towel tube and two gerbils. And two boxes of condoms, but those didn't get used. Who's the bigger man now, cupcake? Easy, Judy. I'm sure judging people over the internet is right up your back alley given the fact you can't seem to go a sentence without "you're a moron" "you're an idiot" "you're a piece of shit". I can only imagine the banter with you and your "girlfriends" should they have a differing opinion. Personally, I prefer to head to Adult Friend Finder and check all of the boxes and see what pops up. I hate saying this, but I'm lonely, sexually deprived and my daddy abused me a lot as a child leaving me incapable of all but a few human emotions. Want to talk about it over a cup of coffee?