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No no... Samantha's got issues. You're just fucking crazy.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by vex, Sep 8, 2011.

  1. vex

    vex
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    Focus: Have you ever hooked up with a crazy broad? What did you put up with? What was the straw that broke the camel's back?
     
  2. Nettdata

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    If I've marked my calendar correctly, this is roughly the time the TiBette Synch is hitting, so this should be fun.
     
  3. AlmostGaunt

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    Twice.

    Girl 1.) Final straw was her plan to lure me back following our Nth breakup: I've told the story in long form here before, but essentially she stayed in my house when I wasn't there, and greeted my return with the news that she'd slept on my beanbag instead of my bed so that she could masturbate out her hornyness from too much meth without worrying about ruining my sheets.

    Girl 2.) This was an aborted one nighter on my 21st. The girl quite literally shoved me into a taxi, took me to her house, got naked with me (with her brother wandering in and out of the room), then told me verbatim she didn't give head because it reminded her of her Uncle molesting her. I left her house, and the next day she called our mutual friends claiming that I kept asking her to be my girlfriend and wouldn't take no for an answer. (Side note: I told this story shortly after it happened on the RMMB, and Bunny deleted it as a bullshit story made up to make myself look good. I wish it was.)
     
  4. dixiebandit69

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    Well, I have this story involving my ex-wife and an ice cream cake, but no one is interested in hearing about that...
     
  5. Nettdata

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    Well, duh... nobody likes hair in their ice cream cakes.
     
  6. guernica

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    I made a rookie error and visited TMMB while staying at my girlfriend's (now ex) house. So after sussing it out, my girlfriend made a fake account on TMMB and flirted with me through private messages to see how I would respond.
     
  7. bewildered

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    I seem to also remember a story about a billiards cue ball....

    Please tell me the ice cream cake story isn't worse than that.
     
  8. lhprop1

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    Speaking of level-headed, well-adjusted women . . .
     
  9. lyle

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    When I was 21 and back home for the summer I started seeing an obviously crazy girl. I heard through friends that she was as stable as Micheal J Fox on a 3 legged table but I carried on seeing her anyway because there's nothing more awesome than crazy girl sex when you're 21 and she insisted on buying me drinks whenever we were out, which for a broke uni student, is the best thing in the world.

    Every time I saw her alarm bells were ringing in my head telling me to run as fast as I could:
    Loved Emo? Check
    Had to come back a week early from a holiday in ibiza with her friends as she had a cry for help suicide over nothing (and acted like it was a perfectly reasonable thing to do.. and yes I did recommend that she saw a professional)? Check
    Possessive to the point of suffocation? Check
    Hated every single female friend that I had for no reason? Check
    Continuously fed me alcohol and cigarettes and bought me gifts to keep me? Check
    Told me she was in love with me within 2 weeks? Check
    Liked rough sex so much it verged on assault? Check
    Mutual friends telling me that she is crazy with a capital batshit insane? Check

    Did any of those warning signs make me stop and think that I should leave her as soon as possible and run for the hills, changing my name and getting reconstructive surgery on the way?.. Hell no, she was too busy getting and keeping me drunk. I was a kept man, for a Uni student, free booze and sex on tap made putting up with crazy worth it for a while.

    In the end the constant sniping and bitching at and about my female friends, the constant need for attention and validation got too much for me to bear so I broke up with her. She took it remarkably well.. too well infact.

    3 days later she announces she is pregnant.

    I was not surprised, infact I was expecting it as I'd been told that she had pulled that bullshit before. I questioned her on everything, knowing that the only time I had unprotected sex with her was before her last period and I didn't even cum inside her. I knew my semen was unable to travel through time and the last time I checked, her vagina wasn't a flux capacitor. I knew it was bullshit, she knew it, everyone who knew her also knew it was all lies, yet she still continued the masquerade.

    There was still that niggling element of doubt and shred of a soul that made me be supportive through the alleged abortion, after it was all over I cut off all contact from her.
    I only saw her once after that, where I honestly thought she was a girl I knew who'd just given birth so when she came over and gave me a hug I asked her how the baby was doing. To my ex, who apparently had my abortion.
    Apparently I went grey. I was expecting to get a broken bottle shoved in my face.
    She burst out laughing, finding my terror to be the funniest thing she has ever seen.

    It did confirm that I was right, that the baby was never real. The relief was palpable, I almost passed out from laughing so hard.

    After that I tried not to get involved with crazy girls.


    Broken women however, is a different bag altogether.
     
  10. JWags

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    I've never dated any truly crazy girls as thankfully I have some sort of internal radar that helps me avoid both "good" girls and nutbags. I only know the latter cause I have far less stories about prudes than my friends and things I've always thought of as common with girls I hook up with/date are impressive to my friends. The latter is largely because I have a minor paranoia of dating the lovingly named "psycho bitches" after seeing friends put up with possessive catty behaviors and pregnancy threats. Except for the tail end of one relationship.

    I dated S midway through my last year of college. She was cute, nothing exceptional, but she was fun, loved college football, busted my roommates' balls harder than I did, and had magnificent breasts. And better still, she was the cousin of one of my roommates and his assertion that "she would never date you" made my interest all the more intense. We hooked up and began to date and about a month in I realized I had gotten well ahead of myself. She was a ridiculously annoying drunk, not all that fun to hook up with, prone to going along with things and then complaining about them and trying to make me feel guilty later. Bottom line, she wasn't my kind of girl after all. So I break it off and she takes things rather well. Says she cant figure me out, kisses me on the forehead and leaves. All was well for a week or two.

    Then one weekend, I come home from a night out with my 3 roommates, one of their sister's and the sister's attractive friend who I had been hitting it off with. I had plans to crank up the charm in the foggy post-bar hours of the morning and lock this minx up. Well I enter my room to toss my coat on the chair and notice a girl's puffy coat with a fur lined hood. I grab it and take it out asking the girls whose coat it is. When they respond that its neither as they are both wearing theirs, a realization hits me as I drop the coat and half-whisper "Oh shit..." A return to my darken bedroom reveals S sleeping in my bed. At this point, I'm actually freaked out. (Side note: I went to school in a sleepy college town. We left our doors unlocked. There wasn't anything worth stealing and we weren't in a super trafficked part of campus anyway). My calm, well-liked roommate volunteers to take care of it as I drunkenly go and hide in another bedroom with the girls. He wakes her up and we are greeted with screams of "What the fuck am I doing here?!" "JWags brought me here, what the hell is his problem". Eventually he gets her out of the house and I attempt to return to normality...sans sex as the mood was sort of ruined. Unfortunately it didn't end there. She showed up at my bedroom door at 3 in the morning on a Wed saying someone was knocking on their windows. Three quarters asleep, I told her to go find her cousin and leave me alone and fell back asleep. Only to wake up as she was crawling in my damn bed. I pushed her into the family room, set her up on our couch and locked my door...as well as locking out front door from then on out. Nothing else major happened save her telling a girl I started hooking up with 2 months later that I "was mentally unstable" and she should watch out. What the hell.

    Funny enough, she lives in Chicago now (though she is engaged and will soon be moving, thank god) and I see her occasionally. This wouldn't be of note except for the fact that she had a brief fling with one of my current roommates before I met him. Basically, when she moved to the city, she lived farther north and hated going home late at night. So they came upon an "agreement" in which she would blow him every morning in exchange for sleeping in his bed. He would normally wake up to her going down on him, wordlessly, and leaving after she finished. They never had sex or really hooked up, and rarely made out. Its one of the strangest things ever, awesome for him I guess, but shows she's a bit off considering she was far from a fan of such pleasures of the flesh back in the day.
     
  11. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    I think the focus of this thread can be compared to the question "Have you ever breathed oxygen?"

    My ex-girlfriend from 1999 was the craziest, most repulsive female personality I have ever encountered. Aside from various violent outbursts to instructing her 2-year-old daugher to call me "Daddy", the "straw that broke the camel's back" was getting pushed backwards down an entire steep flight of duplex stairs. After managing to survive the fall I stood up to realize she had charged down the stairs at me and she smashed a giant ceramic bowl over my head, for which for the first and only time I got physical with a female. I shoved her just to get her away as she was still thrashing at me, and her back hit a folded steel bed frame that was lodged between the wall and stairs, bruising her slightly. She immedietly screamed that I hit her (big surprise), screaming for her dad and brothers.

    Her dad shows up 10 seconds later and puts HER in a half nelson, and instructs me "You should have left a while ago and you KNOW it. Go." Words of fucking wisdom. I got a call on my cell phone on my way home for the last time, saying I'll be sorry and never get another female like her, and I'll never get over her.

    It took about a 10 minute cold shower to get over her when I got home. I krazy-glued the cut on my head shut and went and got drunk with my friends.

    For four years.
     
  12. StayFrosty

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    Pretty sure I've told this one before, but it's a notable level of crazy.

    The first girl I messed around with, who I didn't even get my dick all the way into, told me she was pregnant before moving to another state. I was fucking 14. Five years later she ambushed me on Facebook. At this point, she was raising two children from two different fathers, one of whom she was married to but in the process of divorcing. I agreed to her request to meet and fuck....which was her cue to suggest we try to get back together. I politely declined, which made me an asshole, because I would have been so much more gentlemanly to lie, fuck her, and run like hell (the only smart step of such a plan, had it existed).

    A month later she moved to yet another state, because the husband she was "divorcing" got a new job.

    My issues with women are surely not connected to my experiences.
     
  13. scootah

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    One stands out. In a serendipitous moment of timing, she actually sent me a message the other day, clearly looking to hook up again. She's still hot as all fuck, so I actually thought about it for a second, and then I physically slapped myself in the face for being a fucking moron.

    She's scottish, cute as fuck, and has an accent that makes me melt, and is into all sorts of fun stuff. She was sort of on the cards when I first got together with my ex wife, but clearly the ex wife won. The other guy she was involved with ended up marrying her, getting her a green card into the US, supporting her through all kinds of insanity including her medical costs when she self committed after leaving him to go be with some other guy. The dude ended up out of pocked mid 5 figures - I think he might have broken 6 figures by the time the marriage was finally annulled. She told me that he was abusing her, filed charges, had a restraining order that kept him out of his house, after they'd been split for two years while she was with other guys, and touring expensive hospitals on his dime. All the charges she had leveled were eventually found to be baseless. She accused 3 other guys that I know of rape and put them through hell - none of the accusations held up. She called me one night while she was back in Scotland because she'd been raped and I had one of the worst conversations of my life talking her down and getting her to a hospital. She later confessed that that never happened.

    I don't know what her fucking condition is, but it's a doozy. When she's 'healthy' - she's hot, fun, nice and reasonable. But doesn't deal with her crazy - she acts like she's had a few bad experiences with guys, but nothing major, and certainly nothing that's ended with her in court screaming rape when all the evidence shows that it never happened. When she's well, she's pretty awesome. But when she's sick, the fake series of sexual assaults starts up again, and she blames whatever guy is in her life for raping her. Three of the four guys I know of her accusing are ludicrously nice guys who I really can't imagine ever doing anything nonconsensual with anyone. I think they'd probably eat a bullet from the guilt afterward if they did. One of those guys she accused of physically overpowering her - I wouldn't believe him if he claimed to have won a fist fight with a 14 year old japanese school girl. This girl is an athletic, average height girl - she's not a power lifter or anything - but unless he had a weapon, he couldn't have forced her if he'd had a complete personality shift and actually tried it.

    The chemistry with well, kind of awesome her is substantial. I like her a lot. But I still can't fucking believe I even momentarily considered replying to her message positively.
     
  14. dixiebandit69

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    It was an 8-ball, for the record.

    Anyway, this one’s for you, Primer!

    This story takes place a little over 9 years ago. At the time, I had a new baby boy , and I was working two jobs to cover all of my new expenses. I was still very much in love with my new wife, but she could be unreasonable on some issues: For example, there would be times when she wanted me to stay home instead of going to work. There were many occasions where I obliged her and called in sick, but it finally got to the point where my bosses told me that the next time I missed work, I would be fired.
    As luck would have it, her birthday was coming up, and it was coming up on a day when I had to work both jobs.
    When I asked what she wanted for her birthday, she said that she wanted an ice cream cake.
    When I told her that I couldn’t get off for her birthday, she protested. I tried to console her, but she was inconsolable.
    So I tried to do the best I could.
    When I got out of my evening job at about 2 am, I bought an ice cream cake in her favorite flavor, along with some fresh strawberries, glazing, whipped cream and candles (all according to her wishes).
    I awoke early the next morning, (On her birthday; I had to be at work by 10 am) cut up the strawberries, mixed them with the glazing and added the whipped cream and lit the candles.
    When I woke her up, she was still inconsolable. She didn’t speak a word to me. I presented the cake to her, cut a slice and served it to her, but she wouldn’t accept it. She just stone-walled me the whole way, giving me the silent treatment.
    As time went on, I had to leave, and I left her with the ice cream cake.
    When I came back that night, the plate was on the front lawn, and I could see on the grass where the ice cream had melted.
    That’s why I sometimes call my ex-wife “The Ice Cream Cake Girl.”
     
  15. dewercs

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    I met Yvonne, real name used to protect others from her, in my early 20's. She was perfect, a divorced mother of 3 from 2 different guys, recently lost her job as an escrow agent said she loved to suck dick and hump. She was mildly attractive 5-10 and in fairly good shape, she talked a good game and she loved to smoke crack. We hung out a few times, she would come over for a few days and we would snort meth and then smoke crack, being a person of high morality I did not make any attempt to sleep with her right away as I was pursuing a healthy relationship. I would hang out with her for a few days then not hear from her for a few weeks then rinse and repeat, after about a month she wanted it bad so I slept with her and did not hear from her for a week, she then called me and invited me to go out of town for a few days with her friends, we stayed at a hotel attached to a bar where after I passed out she stole all the money in my wallet, which she denied the next day. A few weeks later she goes to my neighbors party with me and that night claims she is pregnant and the next day she proceeds "call" planned parenthood, she has an imaginary conversation with them and they tell her they are booked solid and are not taking any appointments for the next 6-8 weeks, then next day she came by and said she had an abortion and we could not have sex for 6 weeks but she wanted it right then anyway, I of course obliged. The next day she came by to tell me she needed some money to by some crack and she would be right back, I did not hear from her for 2 days after which she told me she had gone to buy crack and the cops had busted in and taken her money and she forgot my phone number.
    I decided that we were not meant to be together and broke it off, A few days later she called me and told me she was being held captive by some black men in a crack house and she needed some money so they would let her go, she said she was raped daily and I was her only hope. I called her mom and gave her the phone number of the place she called from and evidently her mom went and got her, I was evicted from my home shortly after so I lost touch with her.
    Wish I knew her last name, she would be a good facebook friend.
     
  16. Pinkcup

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    Must it be a broad? I know I'm not the only TiBette who has accidentally fucked a certifiably batshit dude or two.
     
  17. dewercs

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    I got a few rep comments questioning the validity of my story, the story is the truth this girl was a pathological liar as well as a drug addict, I was fucked up enough not to care. I wish a lot of things I participated in never happened but they did, I feel bad that I encouraged her fucked up way of living while she should have been taking care of her kids but I did what I did.
    Stay away from crack and meth.
     
  18. AlmostGaunt

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    For anyone calling out Dewercs on this, you probably haven't spent a lot of time with young, white trash meth users. Meth amps up the libido a lot, so people are keen to fuck. It drops your inhibitions through the floor, so people don't much care who they fuck. And it doesn't just compromise your decision-making process, it curb stomps it and drags it bleeding through the streets, if I can steal a phrase from Philalawyer.

    I lived with a bunch of them once. One of the girls once asked for a lift to the petrol station on the corner to buy cigarettes, and in exchange she would give me head. She was 16. (I declined.). Her friend, who was also living with us, would fuck a bunch of guys, tell each of them they needed to pay for an abortion, and then use the money that came in to buy drugs.

    I've never met a crack user, but even meth users tend to look down on them, so what does that tell you?

    There was a great Rudius blog about this once, but I forget what it was called. Anyway, his story strikes me as totally reasonable, given the context.
     
  19. Crown Royal

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    BA HA HA HA!!!!!

    Methheads don't have the right to look down on anyone that isn't a child molestor. They are willingly hooked on a drug that not only ages you ten times faster, it includes in it's ingredients off the top of my head: car brake cleaner, poison, battery acid and acetone (the shit women use to remove fake nails), plus all kids of delicious, utterly deadly chemicals cooked up by a guy who's mother's corpse is still probably lying in the same bed she died in three years ago.

    It's probably the worst drug there is. Not just because it's powerfully addictive and turns you into the Toxic Waste Guy from Robocop, but literally the mentally retarded can make it and pretty much all ingredients are attainable over-the-counter.

    In other words: Date a methhead, and you will explore an anatomy of Hell.
     
  20. Trakiel

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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    Of course not. Stories about crazy people are entertaining to read, regardless of the gender, so share, share away!

    Focus: Part of the reason I've never been in a romantic relationship is because, to be honest, I'm turned on by crazy but sufficiently afraid (and downright paranoid) of the drama crazy brings to a relationship. So I end up flirting with them but don't pursue it any further. The closest I have of a story to add to this thread is about a girl (whose name I don't quite remember; I think it was Katherine) I had an accounting class with several years ago.

    I don't remember how we started talking in the first place but we kind of became aquaintances and study partners. The crazy came out pretty early. For some reason she because convinced the instructor was out to get her. She would not do as well as she thought she should on exams/projects and then call me and complain over the phone for nearly an hour about how she was being cheated out of her deserved grade, how she was going to go to the department head, blah blah blah. According to her, the reason she was being singled out for "unfair treatment" was because the [female] instructor was jealous because Katherine was prettier than her. She seemed to have some rudimentary self-awareness about her own craziness but attributed it to her German heritage. Also when talking about herself she'd often mention how her father was very strict when she was growing up.

    Eventually she got kicked out of class for making a comment about threatening to kill the instructor if she didn't give her a good grade on some paper. The instructor actually mentioned to me that "your girlfriend needs to fix her behavior ASAP or else she's going to get removed from class", which I thought was actually funny considering she was not in fact my girlfriend (or even really a friend). I don't know what crazy girl said to her at one point or another but I guess other people in the class shared the same sentiment.

    After that class was over I never saw her again.