No girls allowed.

No matter what's going on with my life, the mountains are my cure-all. Nothing, and I mean nothing, beats watching the early morning sun rise from 12,000 feet halfway up a steep snowy couloir. The thin air in your lungs, the edge of knowing a slip could mean broken bones or worse, the see-forever views; all the bullshit falls to the wayside.

 

Hide and seek with the kids.

Throwing the ball for the dog.

Karate.

Wrenching on the cars, as long as it's a project car like my Bronco, not a "must fix now" on one of the daily drivers.

Yoga with my wife. Where she does yoga in tight pants, and I watch. Down dog is awesome.

 

I either detail my car or go for a long drive.

The detail usually takes a good 3 hours with wash, polish, buff, wax, then the interior. Drives are usually a couple hours. I forget whatever pushed me to do either of the two. Just listening to the engine roar calms the nerves.

 

Provided the weather is nice which is about from now until Halloween, my backyard patio is a good enough. I have my barbecue, my fireplace (and yes Nett, the shed) and my shoebox of black cat firecrackers I throw over the neighbour's fence when the little shit kids that live there throw a 250-person bash in the middle of suburbia on a wednesday when mommy and daddy go on vacation.

Then, listen to everyone blame each other after they Air Raid. A happy place indeed. Rainbows and lollipops and cherubs farting out John Mayer. Wife wasn't to keen with that move.

 

I prepare concept menus for restaurants I'd like to open. I sit down with my planner, grab a pen, and after an hour I usually have a menu ready to go, down to the ingredients needed, rough cost of each item, and executions for each dish. After that I'm pretty well stress-free.

If I need a little more, I cook a meal for myself, and the wife if she's around, using only what's left in the house. The idea is to challenge myself by making something nice out of leftovers and unusual ingredients, which will take my mind off of anything that's bothering me.

It's a bit ironic, really. I cook for a living, and nearly all of my stress comes from my career path, yet I relieve stress easiest when cooking for myself.

 

Drive.
I'm totally cool with my iPod, my car, and the road.
Clean.
If I'm alone and I can clean uninterrupted, it's magical. Talk about clearing my head. Nothing works better and it's instant gratification.

If I'm out at the land, I go for a walk. It's so quiet there you can hear for miles.

 

In an ideal world, my happy place is staring out over an empty sea at the horizon.

When that's not available to me though, a dark room, a glass of very good scotch, and this song will make all of my troubles seem insignificant.

 

I shut the door to my office, sit down and log into this place. Or any one of my other favorite websites. It's like decompressing my brain.

If it's winter time, I jump on my snowmobile and haul some ass for a few hours.

 

Reading a favorite book, like James Clavell's Tai-Pan, or Elmer Gantry. The former is over 1200 pages and transports you to Hong Kong, 1963. Makes me wish I was British. The latter is always a good look at the rise of a false prophet and is just an awesome story. Also, anything by Anthony Bourdain.

Water basketball with my friends (actually a hybrid of water polo, basketball, and wrestling) usually does the trick as well.

 

ALT. FOCUS: What do you do when you have no "happy place" or are simply too busy to go there?

I always end up busy at home. It fucking sucks. My brain also doesn't seem to turn off like the rest of yours do. My brain will just nag and nag me until I just get up and do something that needs doing - usually it's laundry, dishes, cleaning... It's just as fun as it sounds ( i.e. it isn't). My brain also doesn't shut off while watching tv, or while I'm trying to sleep. I envy you guys who can just turn off and vegetate.

Maybe I'll get Alzheimers or Dementia and have peace later in life, who knows.

 

Stop bragging... If I spent 5 minutes jerking off I'd have blown my load 3 times.


Focus: A couple pints and my kitchen. Nothing relaxes me and throws the stressors of the day out the window more than that.

I start to plan dinner in the early afternoon while still at the office; stop by the market on the way home to pick up ingredients and get to work. I'll be home by 5:30, pour myself an IPA and get cooking. We usually don't eat until 8:30 or so, but its so nice to just relax with the fiance and cook a good meal. And since I'm cooking, she's doing dishes, its a win/win.

 

Do you have pistons for forearms?

 

Practice makes perfect, and I've had a lot of practice.

 

Just out of curiosity, does your brain ever nag you with positive things, like "Get a job" or "become a functioning member of society"?

 

My happy place is going for a long bike ride and just pedaling all the week's stress away while enjoying the beautiful outdoors.

Going to the trap range and emptying a box of clays is also a wonderful way to destress.