No baby I love you a lot. Just sign this prenup HERE & HERE

If you have to consider a pre-nup, you should probably reconsider the marriage, but that's just me.

 

I can see signing a prenup in some situations. In a way it seems really difficult because you never know what's going to happen down the road. You're planning for something that may or may not even happen and you have no idea about the circumstances surrounding the divorce. Also, you don't know how or if your values and feelings will change as you age. I seriously doubt people think about amending their prenups during a healthy marriage. If I'm divorcing the father of my kids I'm going to want the best for him. I'd be okay with giving him some percentage of my money, whether or not that's fair.

The only reason I have for possibly wanting a prenup is to protect the assets I've inherited and will inherit. If land that's been in the family for generations or money my dad earned left the family, it'd be pretty upsetting. However, I'd like to think I would only marry someone who wouldn't go after these things just to spite me. That's just low.

 

Yeah, you're not going to do that. When your wife tells her she's pregnant, go ahead and throw that question in her face. Demand to know if it's yours. Let us know how that conversation goes, and be sure to show us photos of the scar tissue from where she stabbed you for being such an asshole.

Do you even LIKE this woman remotely, or are your parents and her parents forcing you to marry one another?

 

How we met:

Then I dragged the girl back to my man-cave, where I chained her to the wall and read all 347 Gor novels at her, one after another, until her will snapped and she proved herself worthy of My collar. While often strict, I am seldom cruel. The girl knows, if she pleases Me, her lot will be an easy one.

 

Ok guys, I think some of us (possibly myself included because I know I had it wrong before) are misinterpreting what a prenup does.

A prenup DOES NOT mean you or your ex don't have to pay alimony. If you make more than him/her, you will pay them to keep up the lifestyle you provided while married in perpetuity.
A prenup DOES NOT mean if your money was used to buy a house while you were married that you keep it. You bought it AFTER being married, they are entitled by law to half, even if it was all your money used to buy it.

I'm not 100% on this (or really anything I just wrote) but I think in most states that inheritance is exempt from asset splitting regardless of prenup, so for example if you inherit $2m and get divorced two years later, you still keep it, it does not get included in the combined assets.

All a prenup does is protect the ASSETS (not income level) you acquired BEFORE marriage.

Now before doing anything rash based on what I posted above, I am not even close to an expert and could be wrong, but those are the laws as I interpreted them in random conversation with people with experience.

 

Just ran across this and had to post it.

 

Never mind, I'm a fucking moron, it all depends on the agreement you and your spouse to be sign and the law of the state you're in. So in some states you can agree to give up alimony rights, I'm assuming CT is not one of them based on what I heard.

Bottom line: always consult a professional instead of the guy on an internet forum trying to play couch divorce lawyer.

 

Him: here, sign this.
Her: what is it?
Him: a pre-nup.
Her: a pre-nup? What do we need that for?
Him: so if this thing goes south, nobody gets hurt.
Her: and you know all about pre-nups, I suppose?
Him: no, no. But Frank does.
Her: who the hell is Frank?
Him: dude lives in CT, but i met him on the web.
Her: so you're getting advice from an internet lawyer?
Him: no, no, no. He's not a lawyer. But he does have one of those jobs where he wears a tie.
Her: grocery store employees wear ties.
Him: exactly--the managers. Managers know all about this shit. That's why they're managers and not sackers.

 

I have no tangible assets, besides my motorbike. Given my profession (academic research) this is unlikely to change anytime soon so a prenup would likely put me at a disadvantage. Then again I'm 26 and have zero desire to settle down in the foreseeable future.

Should I ever ride the marriage-divorce rollercoaster I wouldn't be the type to go after money or assets, and I'd like to think I wouldn't choose someone who would as a partner. I'd rather get it over and done with and move on ASAP. Kids obviously complicate the situation though.

I'm ignorant of the laws surrounding divorce, but if it were up to me you would leave with whatever you individually brought to the table (assuming it still exists) and and any inheritance you received as an individual even while married. Anything earned or acquired during the marriage is split down the middle, or however the two parties agree. Even if one partner contributed nothing financially they are still entitled to a fair share of the products of the union as they presumably contributed other non-monetary value to the relationship.

If the laws are not somewhere along these lines then I may consider a prenup but my primary concern would be my kids. Custody laws and courts are horribly biased against men, and a lot of good fathers miss out on a proper relationship with their kids as a result. I think that this is a far greater problem than who gets what stuff.

 

The only way I'd sign a prenup is so that when I got a divorce, I could destroy all of his things without feeling guilty that they should technically be part mine.

But no, I wouldn't do a prenup. I should hope by the time I feel like getting married, it's with enough forethought that I don't need to immediately contemplate divorce.

 

Aaaaaaaaaand that's why you get the 'nup.

 

How timely, I was just talking with my dad about prenups. I'm torn about them. I would like to think no one would try to fuck me over but I know that this is real life and not a disney movie. That said, I would get one in certain situations. I know a few people who are required to get one when they get married or they will not receive any of their inheritance from their parents. This is not that their parents must approve of who they marry but because their parents are worth millions of dollars and don't want to see someone run off with their hard earned cash. I would definitely get one in a similar situation but given that I am a student and have nothing, I wouldn't get one at this point in time.

On a similar note, my dad is currently doing a postnup for an existing client of his. As he describes it, this is just one step away from this particular couple getting a divorce and each wants to keep their own shit. I would much rather have a prenup than have to get a postnup just so I can keep my shit and good luck getting anyone to sign one of those.

 

I would be happy to sign a prenup. I'm generally a cold, rational person, and I pray whomever I marry is even more rational than I, but I've seen enough divorces and aftermath to know that when the life you've built with someone is ripping at the seams, demons are often unleashed. Cool, calm, and collected goes right out the window, and is replaced by hot fury. It's not about playing fair with someone you once (and may still) love. It's about hurting them as much as you're hurting. All other objectives are secondary.

That being said, I think in "normal" circumstances (splits not involving physical, emotional, or pharmaceutical abuse, among other situations), a prenup might make the parties involved less willing to soldier through tough times. Considering that the whole foundation of marriage is supposed to be love, for better or worse, the thought kinda saddens me.

 

I don't have a prenup. I'm trying to remember and I think we may have even mentioned it at some point but ultimately didn't bother. On a practical level, I have nothing to protect going into the marriage and on an emotional level I felt both secure in themarriage and also that my wife was the sort of person who would sign one if I really wanted her to and thus less likely to actually need one to restrain her.

And as much as it is somewhat in vogue these days to try and talk about marriage in as cold and cynical terms as possible, it's also an emotional experience and I'm ok with letting the latter win out on this one. And all sorts of people will make fun of me for that. But one of the greatest ways to deal with people making fun of me is to go home to my loving wife and have a happy evening.

Ultimately, like with just about everything, it all depends on the people and circumstances for all. Not everyone gets married for the same reasons I did. And some people are just innate worriers and a prenup is a salve to their anxiety. More power to them. But saying one is always or never ok is vast oversimplification.

And as for the divorce statistics... some possibly interesting sites:

<a class="postlink" href="http://maritalmediation.com/2011/07/demystifying-divorce-statistics/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://maritalmediation.com/2011/07/dem ... tatistics/</a>
<a class="postlink" href="http://www.divorcereform.org/real.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.divorcereform.org/real.html</a>
<a class="postlink" href="http://www.divorcereform.org/stats.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.divorcereform.org/stats.html</a>