No baby I love you a lot. Just sign this prenup HERE & HERE

Considering I can fit all of my belongings in a car and I have student loan debt, my rough estimate net worth is probably around negative 17-18k. So yeah, I'm not signing shit.

 

My opinion is: why not?

My divorced buddy explained it to me like this: It's like a blueprint on how to move out with all of your shit when she suddenly begins to hate you.

The Girlfriend and I discussed it and she was actually the one who mentioned it as a good idea. She said it gave a legal framework for how things were supposed to go. She however intends on tacking on $50k in student loan debt.

So yeah, I'm not marrying shit.

 

I consider it a completely moot point because there's no way I'm going to survive a divorce anyway. If she wants to clean the blood off my stuff she can have it.

 

If you've got assets or income worth shit, it only makes sense. I did when I got married, decided I didn't care. Was pretty confident that the ex wasn't the kind of person to go after my wallet if things went bad anyway. Turns out I was right, but by the time we split, the investment assets that I'd had before the marriage were trashed by the GFC anyway.

 

Theoretically, I imagine they're a good idea. Practically, the sort of people I date are the sort of people interested in dating someone who spends most of their income on travel rather than acquiring things. It's so unlikely that I'd end up with anyone with a seriously material focus, (and so unlikely I'd be walking into the marriage with assets I wanted to protect) that getting a pre-nup wouldn't even occur to me.

 

Planning for your divorce as you get married. Ah, that's just so American. I don't make enough to be sure the person I would marry would have less than me, so it depends. More seriously, I'm not sure. I really, really don't want to fuck up my first marriage so I wouldn't want to have to sign a pre-nup. However, I'm not naive enough to think a woman wouldn't go after everything I have, no matter what kind of person I thought she was when we got married. I've seen enough bitches turn sour to not trust my heart again. Yeah, I'd probably want this.

 

I always use to be for them. I like the idea of people working things out for themselves. But once I found out you still pay alimony for pretty much the rest if your life if you make more than the other person I don't see much of a reason for it unless you're already rich.

 

The rich don't need them. Simple math problem-
Take half of $50 million.
Now take half of $50,000.
Which one can you survive on? The prenup should be more for the common person than the rich.

 

I mean, yeah, if you already own a house before you get married I can see it. But I have two piece of shit cars and that's pretty much it, I'm not going to deal with a prenup over that. I would have given her one anyway if we break up. Now if you told me it was going to protect my income (I make a lot more than her) that's a different discussion.

I can also see the point if it affects retirement income. I don't think it does since I'm pretty sure they only give the spouse half of what's accrued during the marriage, but I'm not sure. Pretty embarrassing for me to not know that.

 

My girlfriend said basically when we move in together eventually, I'm allowed to call her 'wife' and can buy her a rock but I have to legally opt out of anything remotely resembling marriage / common law. She's somewhat paranoid of the family law act.

 

Ever since the commencement of hostilities with TheEx (of a four year LTR) a little over a year ago, I'm strongly in favor of a pre-nup. Additionally, I will also be having paternity tests for all of my children done as a matter of course - and my intentions will be made early on in the pregnancy. It's not that I necessarily believe that she will have cheated (I would like to think I'm a better judge of character than that), but I'm also not an idiot; I am under no illusions that if shit should hit the fan and a world-crushing lie is uncovered, the entire state appartus is stacked against me.

An ounce of prevention...

 

I see the wisdom in having a prenup, if I had any assets I couldn't lose. I don't, therefore it seems unnecessary. If I were to marry a rich man who wanted me to sign one, I would do it. There would be a clause that if he cheated, he would owe me half of everything. I don't have time for silly games.


I have a friend who married a guy worth $23 million. He had her sign a prenup, she had the same clause written in. She has it because he cheated once before he proposed. She found it worth forgiving, it just may pay off if he fucks up again.

 

Yes to a pre-nup. I don't have a lot of assets but what I have I've earned and I'll be damned if I'm going to lose it to someone out of spite.

 

I walked away from both of my marriages with essentially nothing except my vehicle.
In my first I didn't have anything to quibble over anyway, and I just wanted out.
In my second, we'd purchased a home together, two cars, and I had my Jeep. By rights, he should have bought me out of the house, the mineral rights, and the two cars I left...I *should* have left my second marriage 100K+ better off. Things got so bad, so very violent and volatile, I just left with my belongings and my car, and relinquished all claim to anything monetary, including alimony. I wanted it over and done and to have NOTHING that tied the two of us together ever again.

I've made it clear that before I discuss marriage again, with anyone, there will be a prenup. The Guy has assets like I've never owned, and I want it clear up front that I do not want those assets. They were left to him by his father and I have no right or claim to them, and I have no issue with putting that on paper. Anything he possesses prior to the marriage, including his house, car, investments, properties, etc., I don't want. They're not mine. Should he and I have children, that only changes in respect to the kids, but again, they're not mine.

THAT said, IF I were to marry again, I'm realistic enough to know that people change, and sometimes they don't change together, so life happens. I'm not starting over from scratch a third time. IF I marry, I hope to God I'm strong enough to make it last and that he's committed to me enough that he wants the same...but if it doesn't, you're goddamn right I want half of what I contribute to earning in the relationship. That's not me "taking half his stuff", he can keep his stuff, but I'll damn sure take half of what we earned together...and he can do the same.

 

The bigger issue is, if you're engaged to someone and they refuse to sign a prenup, that is a huge red flag. It basically indicates that they want some kind of rip-cord to fuck you over with later, or that they are so naive as to ignore basic realities about life. I'm not sure I would want to marry someone who was not willing to respect my need for keeping legal propriety over my own stuff.

Also, doesn't matter if you are rich or poor. What if you get divorced 30 years later? There's no predicting what your financial situation will be like by then, and that's a point in your life when you won't be in a position to rebuild your finances from scratch if you did get fucked over.


Similar note: My dad is 65 and refuses to sign a living will. He thinks that doing so essentially acknowledges that he might keel over at any moment. This drives me crazy because if he has a stroke or develops dementia or even just gets hit by a car, it will create a ton of legal hurdles and headaches for me to gain control of his assets and get him the medical care he needs. I've seen people try to sort out situations like that when their parents didn't have living wills and it basically ruined their lives, and my dad wants to put me in the same boat out of some romantic or ideological notion that letting things run their course is always the best course of action. Well, fuck that.

 

Every one of you all needs to move to Louisiana. We do prenups here, but, given the state of the law, they are basically unnecessary.

First things first: Louisiana does not have permanent alimony any more. Read that again.

Second, as Tennessee Williams so eloquently pointed out, we are a community property state. That means that anything the two of you make together during the marriage belongs to the community, which is as it should be. Whatever the two people have prior to the marriage belongs with each separate person unless you specifically place it in the community. (That's easier to do than you might think and you can do it by accident if you aren't smart about it.)

If your parents are rich and they die the inheritance is the separate property of the beneficiary. Any gifts from parents or anyone else to one of the parties is the separate property of that person.

Children muddy the waters pretty significantly, but child support is a whole other issue.

 

You're viewing pre-nups as a 'PROTECT MY SHIT I EARNED IT' type deal - look at it as though it's a "here's how we'd like shit to go if shit hits the fan while we're both rational and don't want to stab each other" - While you think your marriage is forever, bad shit happens - that's life. I'd rather have sorted out what might go wrong then than have a vindictive woman with every legal power giving her the advantage in everything if shit does hit the fan.