A friend of mine had too much of one thing or another and face-planted in the driveway of the house we were at. Really hard. She busted her lip up pretty good and was kind of out of it. Concerned that she might have a concussion, we called her parents to come get her from the house because she has no health insurance and didn't want to get charged for an ambulance. When I say "we called", I mean "I called", because everyone else was too fucked up to do it. I was not sober in even the loosest sense of the word, so how I got recruited for this task is beyond me. I was standing in the driveway waiting to flag her parents' car down, when I hear my friend's sister's douchebag gangster-wannabe boyfriend laughing about the situation and making fun of my friend. He had been a complete fucking dick all night, and I was already agitated, and I sort of snapped. I went off on him about what a pathetic fucking poser loser he was, how he was going to get his shit ruined in jail when he goes in in a couple weeks, how he needed to shut his fucking mouth, fuck him, fuck this, fuck that, blah blah blah. He didn't care for that. He started yelling back. I laughed at him and walked away. This was a five-foot-seven white boy from a middle class suburb. He's maybe 150 pounds soaking wet. I've known kids like him my whole life. 99% of the time, they're all bark, no bite. This guy, though, proceeded to go inside, get the knife he apparently carries with him wherever he goes, and come back outside. Four or five people get in between he and I as he screams about how he's going to cut my throat. Like a fucking moron, I just stood there staring at him. I get douchechills just thinking about it. His girlfriend eventually talked him down, and he went back inside. Ten minutes later, I followed suit and proceeded to try and drink away my embarrassment. I was not successful. His girlfriend kept him in a bedroom until he was done ranting, and he eventually came out and apologized. For trying to stab me. Really. It was surreal. In retrospect, the whole thing was profoundly fucking retarded. I hate New Year's Eve.