Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

Name thy spawn!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by DrFrylock, May 18, 2011.

  1. McSmallstuff

    McSmallstuff
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    2
    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2009
    Messages:
    1,504
    My boys are named Kenneth Ray (After my father) And Fredrick Julian (After the exes grandfather, and my sister.)

    All I know is Kenny and Freddy, can beat the hell out of any combination of children named; Hunter, Tad, Tristan, Dakota (or any other city/state name), and are smarter than anyone with a hyphen or any other form of punctuation in their names.
     
  2. Parker

    Parker
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    90
    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2010
    Messages:
    5,831
    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    I know you're not supposed to bring up old threads, but starting another suggestion for basically the same thread would be stupid. If you didn't know hear, Jay-Z and Beyonce apparently had the first baby ever in the whole fucking world and they named this poor fucking girl Blue Ivy because it's Jay-Z's favorite color.

    New Focus: What the fuck?

    Alt-Focus: What else could this name be? I think if Zoolander had a daughter, Blue Ivy would be her signature look to go with her dad's Blue Steel. Or it could be a new mixed drink using Hypnotiq. Or it could be the new club all the Russian chicks go to wearing blue wigs, lipstick and nail polish.

    Alt-Focus Remix: Anyone else hear any retarded names recently? Does this beat out Apple? Or Mariah Carey's Moroccan Scott for her son? Well there is this list, anyone like any of these celebrity names?
     
  3. lust4life

    lust4life
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    2,562
    Location:
    Deepinthehearta, TX
    I never thought I'd live to see World Peace, but I can every time the Lakers take to the court.
     
  4. Eastcoaster

    Eastcoaster
    Expand Collapse
    Average Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2009
    Messages:
    82
    Wife just informed me over the weekend that "she will now be the designated driver for the next year or so." So the pick-a-name game has commenced at our house. It is NOT fucking easy especially when we wont know whether it's a boy or girl for a while yet. This thread helps....a bit. And no, I will not name my kid Chater Ballsack if it's a boy (although that would be a great porn name).
     
  5. BeCoolBitch_BeCool

    BeCoolBitch_BeCool
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    301
    From Anthony Jeselnik's Twitter:

    When I have a kid I'm going to figure out a way to fit "Sterling" or "Archer" into their name.
     
  6. Bundy Bear

    Bundy Bear
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    135
    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2009
    Messages:
    2,126
    Location:
    Blue Mountains, Australia
    Anyone I've had anything to do with called Tanya has been nothing but fucking trouble, also as others have said hypenated names are horseshit. What's wrong with having one first name, other names are what your middle names are for.

    My cousin has just had a baby and they called it Coby Nixon Farnham, now Farnham is a family name but the other names remind me of something limp wristed and weak.
     
  7. scootah

    scootah
    Expand Collapse
    New mod

    Reputation:
    12
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    1,750
    Friends of mine thought they were going to be parents over the holidays (turns out not so much, but still). They were starting to work on names which lead to a debate that is still ongoing regarding the suitability of the names 'Pepper' and 'Skye' as girls names.

    I'm of the opinion that if they're planning to put this child into many, many dance lessons, give her a giant box of bratz dolls, have daddy miss all her dance recitals, ensure that she knows to never abort an unwanted pregnancy no matter how incapable she is of supporting the child, and teacher her the value of money using dollar bills, then these names are emminently suitable. And for a middle name perhaps Divine or Desire. The not quite parents are of the belief that these names would probably never lead to their child making a living by grinding her barely clad nether regions on a chrome pole. What are your thoughts?
     
  8. Parker

    Parker
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    90
    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2010
    Messages:
    5,831
    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    Porn names, both porn names. Skye is the name of an "artist" or porn star.
     
  9. lyle

    lyle
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    191
    Location:
    UK
    For every Dwayne, Tyler or McKenzie that spawns out of a council estate, in the depths of Kent and Sussex the upper/middle classes do their bit to propagate ridiculous names.

    Tarquin: His family probably owns a good portion of Sussex. Looks down on everyone who has a smaller income than him (even though all of his money comes from his family). Studies Classical Civilisations at Edinburgh Uni as he wasn't intelligent enough to go to Oxford or Cambridge. Spends most of his time rowing or doing his hair.

    Alistaire: His family are rich, but not upper class and he is reminded of that everyday. Yet for the most part is relatively down to earth.

    Wilhelm: Badass.

    Personally, every time I think of what I would name my eventual son (or if I had to adopt a new identity for whatever reason) I instantly jump to Cornelius. Can't explain why but for some unknown reason I love that name.
     
  10. dubyu tee eff

    dubyu tee eff
    Expand Collapse
    Thinks he has a chance with Christina Hendricks...

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2009
    Messages:
    1,383
    I know a dude named Addison.

    Also, every girl named Jackie seems to be a tomboy a kid and extremely loud and obnoxious for the remainder of their years.

    There are some good names on that celebrity baby name list. Some atypical ones I wouldn't immediately hate:

    Vida, Bodhie, Roman, Esme,

    Also, I predict as today's hipsters get a little older and start (unfortunately) procreating, Wolfgang will make a comeback.
     
  11. PIMPTRESS

    PIMPTRESS
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    79
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    3,239
    Location:
    Denver-ish
    If I got pregnant again I would name the baby Grover.
     
  12. Dcc001

    Dcc001
    Expand Collapse
    New Bitch On Top

    Reputation:
    434
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,736
    Location:
    Sarnia, Ontario
    Read an article yesterday suggesting that the name Blue Ivy was taken from Jay-Z's new album entitled, "Blueprint," and Beyonce's new album "IV" (Roman numeral '4').

    Just...wow.
     
  13. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
    Expand Collapse
    Honorary TiBette

    Reputation:
    68
    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2010
    Messages:
    4,706
    Location:
    we out
    I think this is true. They almost called her NeverForget.

    This joke makes more sense if you know that The Blueprint was released on 9/11/2001.
     
  14. Dcc001

    Dcc001
    Expand Collapse
    New Bitch On Top

    Reputation:
    434
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,736
    Location:
    Sarnia, Ontario
    Joke or not, the fact that it can even be inferred speaks doom for that poor baby. I've said it before and I'll say it again: any potential name must pass the "Supreme Court Justice" test.

    Supreme Court Justice Blue Ivy Carter just isn't gonna happen. "Please welcome to the main stage, she can really climb that pole, Blue Ivy!" has more of a ring of truth to it.
     
  15. Kampf Trinker

    Kampf Trinker
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    324
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,690
    Location:
    Minnesota
    I once met a kid named Bung ho. He looked like an asshole too.

    I've heard the last names Ass and Fagg (the person who was named Fagg had the first name Rod, so when written last name first it would read, Fagg, Rod).

    The director of my high school was named John Johnson. Clearly, his parents valued simplicity above all else.

    I took multiple classes with a girl named Kitty. Another girl was named Tithi and it was pronounced titty, but at least she had the excuse of a foreign language. If I had any of these names I would change them. You can only hear the same joke so many times before you want to stab yourself in the eye.

    For kids myself I always liked Dana for a girl, and Damien for a guy. Two reasons for Damien. First, I like the way it sounds. Secondly, my mother still tells me I was the most difficult to raise and I can only assume my son will be a hell spawn.
     
  16. AlmostGaunt

    AlmostGaunt
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,040
    Hahahaahahaha. This just popped up on my facebook:
     

    Attached Files:

  17. SuperHans

    SuperHans
    Expand Collapse
    Should still be lurking

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2012
    Messages:
    3
    Dated a girl named Lorinda Lipski.