Any guy named Calin, Dane or Aaron is sure to be a bro. Most likely ripped jeans and cartilage piercings. Guys who have a name that is typically shortened, but prefer to go by their full name ( ie: Thomas, Jonathan, Joseph, Nicholas, Alexander, etc) have a very high chance of being a pretentious yuppie douche bag. The probability of the douchebagness skyrockets if said guy is under 28 years old. Any girl named Samantha, Sam, Sammie is almost a lock to be a slut. Also, not sure if it fits here, but guys who put only their first and middle names as their Facebook name (ie. Thomas Michael) are guaranteed to at least have some homosexual tendencies.
I've yet to meet a Brittany who wasn't a stuck-up, mentally unstable bitch. Every Justin I've known has been an arrogant, cocky douche who quickly forms a mutual hatred towards me. Jessica's are bubbly, outgoing, kind, and incredibly two-faced. Danielle is invariably lazy and unproductive. No specific name, but nine times out of ten, if a girl's name begins in a "K", she's trouble.
During recruiting season at my university, literally half the people I was friends with on Facebook changed their name for this reason, usually to First-Name Middle-Name.
Every Walter I've ever met is a dickbag. Granted, I've only met one and he's my co-worker, but still. Fuck him. I was named after a priest on my father's side of the family (Patrick). Combine this with my last name and I feel like I should be living in Boston, saying Mass. My dad's middle name is Michael and so is mine. If I have a son, so will he. There will be no compromise on this. I'm also going to give him a good, strong Irish name like Sean or Connor. I honestly don't care what a potential girl's name would be, as long as it isn't asexual. Women named Jamie or whatever instantly makes me think of less of them.
I'm not a fan of trendy names in general. My kids would end up having names like Jamie and Claire, not Abby-gayyle (like my one girlfriend's poor kid). Aside - my sister is having her first child (boy!) in the next few days or so, and the name she's tossing around is Dexter. Christ on a cracker.
MARK IT ZERO. Because when trying to schedule playdates and shit, the mental image that one wants in other mothers' mind is definitely "serial killer." Anyone who goes by Dick is a weird pervert. And not the fun kind of pervert either. Everyone alive today is aware of the colloquial usage of the word, yet you still voluntarily go by Dick instead of Richard, Rick, Ricky, Rich, etc.? Fucking weird, dude.
It's a southern thing, I guess. Everyone in my family uses family names. The Wife was adamant that our son be a junior, so he is named after me. I go by my middle name (which was my grandmother's maiden name), so he will go by our first name, Samuel. And we both agree- no shorting of the name to Sam or Sammy (or Sahm-well, in The Wife's case).
I used to hate my middle name--Kiel. I've come to accept it more since it's relatively unique, but when I was a kid I thought it was the dumbest name my parents could have possibly given me and I always pronounced it "Kyle." After reading through what's been said so far, I honestly can't think of one name that has always been associated with a certain trait among different people. Whores, sluts, douche bags, and assholes are pretty well spread out.
I just had a thought. Wouldn't it be great if we all just went by what we really are? ie: Hi I'm Bitch Slut McWhore. Nice to meet you! or Hi I'm Dickbag Jones. Pleased to meet you! It sure would take a lot of the guess work out of the dating scene.
I can only assume that Autoerotic Asphyxiation McGee would have a pretty hard time getting a date. On the Contrary, Idon'thaveagagreflex Smith would probably get a little more attention than she is used to.
FOCUS: The names Ethan, Andrew, and Matthew have reached critical mass. STOP NAMING YOUR BOYS THAT! I have friends and family with new boys, and I can't even keep track of all the Ethans, Matthews and Andrews. I know of at least two of each. Don't give your girls stripper names. Brittney, Cindy, Amber, etc. paint the girl as a slut. When/if you have a child and you choose a name for it, do them and the rest of the world a favor and spell their name in the conventional fashion. Don't spell "Daisy" as "Deisy," or anything like that. All you are doing is setting up your child for a lifetime of having their name misspelled and possibly mispronounced. You aren't being hip, edgy, or unique by spelling it differently. And if you already have a child with a name spelled in a bastardized fashion, then may god have mercy on your soul. EDIT: Every Silvia/Sylvia that I've ever met has been a total cunt. Ditto on Iris and Cynthia. Alt. Focus: Cool names The ex-wife and I named our son Trent. Not Trenton, just Trent. The name just exudes badassery, and fuck whoever said otherwise. Other names we were considering were Victor, Vincent, and Cyrus. Victor can be shortened to Vic, and Vincent to Vince, both of which sound badass. If we had a girl, she was going to be named either Janis (my ex-wife is a huge fan of Janis Joplin), or Athena.
Every Barb I've ever met has been a very loud woman. Whether it's outgoing loud or obnoxious loud, they've never found their 'inside voice'.
I knew a kid in grade school who's name was Ephram Binkendorf. Poor kid. He was fucking weird too. As someone else said earlier, I've never really noticed trends among certain names. The few names of which I know multiple people that have it I've never really noticed any similarities. Except maybe Christians/kristins/etc. Most of the ones I know tend to be a bit stuck up and prudish. Oh, and Anthonys who are usually pretty bad ass dudes.
A few of the less-common names I've encountered in Texas (and they're not nicknames): Chance Joab Tripp Maverick (Tripp's nephew) But the one that takes the cake: Adonis.