My Last Meal

I'd want to eat nothing but prunes and prune juice so when I die I shit alot. Some asshole cleaning my shit up will be my last fuck you to the world.

 

Appetizer: McDonalds fries.

Main Course: Baby Back Ribs. Heavily Sauced.

Dessert: My Mom's carrot cake. If she's passed away, then plain Cheesecake.

 

Seconded, this shit is off the hook, I'm not really even a big fried chicken fan.

For me since I've been eating paleo lately the one thing I'd pound in a last meal scenario is cheese pizza until I puke. The funny thing is I've always made fun of people for ordering cheese pizza always opting for at least two toppings, but after not having any for months I would go to town on it.

Before I went Paleo:

Appetizer1: I probably would have had a lobster roll from the Lobster Pound down in Marshfield, MA. They use fresh caught lobster and don't even need mayo or any of the other bullshit to make it taste good.

Appetizer2: Beef carpaccio from J Gilberts (it's a chain, but only like four locations).

Main course: Steak (rare, like really fucking rare), mashed potatoes and green beans.

Dessert: That pumpkin and bourbon cheesecake my girlfriend made like four years ago for Thanksgiving, I still drool thinking about it.

 

First Course: crab cake salad. Second Course: medium rare steak, baked potato, and asparagus. Lots of wine. Dessert: chocolate souffle. I'd love to throw in some mac and cheese or grits somewhere, but meh. If I could have my last meal at a restaurant, I'd want it to be at Roy's.

 

I'd start things off with pan fried morel mushrooms (oh so lightly flour coated), and smoked pheasant breast.

Second course is wild rabbit quartered and pan fried in the same oil (gravy too), and a shore lunch- fresh walleye pan fried with beans.

Third round is a thick ribeye (grilled over charcoal with hickory chips, medium rare), Arthur Bryant's (KC) bbq pork and brisket slathered in the sauce, and some garlic mashed potatoes.

Dessert? A light trifle with angel food cake and mixed berries.

The entire time, I want a massive, bottomless mug of Deschutes' Black Butte Porter in front of me. And a glass of milk.

 

First course:

Spoiler

Tom Kha Gai. This is the finest soup on God's green earth. I'd include a recipe, but I've never been able to make a great version myself. Served with Trumer Pils.

Second course:

Spoiler

This would also require caramelized onions. Served with the sort of French Pinot Noir I can only dream about purchasing now.

Dessert:

Spoiler

with a mixture of Old English Toffee, Vanilla, and Cookies and Cream icecream, topped with hot caramel sauce. Served with this.

 

What I had for dinner on Saturday night would do the trick.

Entree: Crispy pork belly on an apple and fennel mash.

Main: 400g medium rare eye fillet with potato gratin and truffled béarnaise sauce.

Dessert: After pre dinner drinks and a butt-load of wine not possible. (If I was about to get a bullet the drinks would be important so this stands)

 

For starters, a big ass garlicy, lemony Caesar salad, loaded with REAL bacon. I'll have a Tom Collins as well.
The main course would be a perfect rib-steak, I'd say Kobe beef to be fancy, but I've never actually had it and I'd imagine it might catch fire. Either way, steak cooked rare as it's supposed to be. It's sharing the plate with two grilled lobster tails, a few sticks of grilled asparagus with lemon and olive oil, and a double baked potato.
Desert is Billy Miner pie. That shit is like crack.

 

A bushel of Chesapeake Bay blue crabs covered in Old Bay (or J.O.--whichever), sweet Carolina corn on the cob, and a case of Dogfish Head 60 min. IPA.

 

1. Lobster cakes from The Glouster House.
2. The 22 oz. Kansas City bone-in strip, dry-aged, from Bob's Steak & Chops and the hash browns from Ben Benson's. And a side of biscuits and gravy from Babe's.
3. The White Chocolate Mousse in a Chocolate Bag from the Manhattan Ocean Club.

If I'm on death row, odds are I've already fallen off the wagon, so add two bottles of Tudal Cabernet, '87.

 

Amuse Bouche: Lobster and black truffle beggar's purses (as many as I want, motherfuckers!), washed down with copious amounts of Perrier-Jouet champagne.

Appetizers: Large plate of carne cruda, followed by an even larger plate of buttermilk-fried green tomatoes. I'd pair both appetizers with several glasses of freshly-brewed, unsweetened sun tea. With shaved ice.

Soup course: My boyfriend's hot borscht, topped with several huge globs of sour cream and enough challah from that guy at our farmers market to use as a spoon.

Salad course: Spinach salad with pears, bacon, fresh goat cheese, craisins, diced egg, walnuts, and a pomegranate vinaigrette. All locally and ethically sourced, of course. I would wash that down with a shitload of vanilla Dr. Pepper.

Main course: Buffalo filet, medium rare, topped with a disgusting amount of sautéed porcini mushrooms. It'd also come with smashed garlic potatoes, Paula Deen style--sour cream, butter, salt, and garlic in excessive amounts. And five-cheese Mac-n-cheese mixed with bacon and topped with bread crumbs for texture. I would pair this with a La Crema Merlot. I know more expensive wines exist, but I happen to like this one.

Dessert: Lavender and honey ice cream. If unavailable, dulce de leche ice cream. I'd pair my final course with Boone's Farm Fuzzy Navel.

 

Appetizers- Oysters Rockefeller w/blue points, Caesar Salad with extra anchovies

Main- Two broiled rock lobster tails, medium sized for tenderness accompanied by a compound truffle butter.

2nd main- Kobe ribeye, Cabernet portabellos. Parmesean roasted cauliflower sauteed with prosciutto.

Finale- Strawberry cheesecake with a file in it.

 

First Course: Mole Negro with flour tortillas from the Red Iguana in SLC. Nothing light for me. It's the last meal why would I waste it on a fucking salad.

Second Course: Brisket and cabrito smothered in bbq sauce from Cooper's in Llano, TX.

Dessert: Tiramisu. Custard style with a shit load of rum sauce.

I will wash that down with a giant mug of Left Hand milk stout.

Thought I would attach this link of famous last meals.
http://www.famouslastmeals.com/

 

Ooh. The problem with these kind of things for me, is that I'm terrible at deciding in restaurants and normally just order more, rather than make a decision. But fuck it, I can manage.

Appetizer: I'm definitely starting off with raw meat. I never worry about eating raw meat now, and I'm not planning on dying anytime soon, so why would I worry when I'm headed to pine-oil heaven. Nothing beats good steak tartare topped with a raw quail egg, except maybe the one time I ate a beef dish the restaurant called carne crudo. It was literally just diced raw ribeye, served with a light citrus dressing and some arugula. Years ago and I still remember how it tasted, it was that good. Raw meat is the way to go always. Let's throw in a really briny oyster or two because fuck it, I like them.

Pasta course: If it's my last meal, we're going full on Italian-style and eating too many courses. There's a great restaurant here that has had pasta with a wild boar bolognese ragu on their menu for a couple years now, and that shit is tits. I'll have to squeeze it in that one last time before I die.

Main Course: This is tougher. Since I've eaten a good amount of meat at this point, maybe I'll switch to seafood. Mussels, done right, are one of the best things in my book. I think I'll take a giant pot of mussels cooked in that classic wine/garlic/buttery goodness, with a side of crispy fries.

Dessert: It's probably a bullshit quote, but Hemingway said that any man who eats dessert is not drinking enough. I'll have another Old Fashioned to remind me of why life was good while it lasted. You fatties can enjoy your cake.

 

Fine with me.

Appetizer: Deep fried potato skins slathered in sour cream, melted cheese and bacon, served with a lobster bisque. I'm not a drinker and I'm not headed to the great beyond without my wits. Pair this with an Arnold Palmer.

Dinner: A 16 oz prime rib, rare. Enough horseradish that would bring a tear to John Wayne's eye. A side of mashed potatoes that my dad makes, and grilled broccoli covered in cheese sauce. Keep the Palmers coming.

Dessert: Chocolate mousse cake with a pint of Haagen Daaz Chunky Chocolate ice cream and a tub of Cool Whip. Finished with a glass bottle of Mexican Coke.

Edit: A pack of Marlboro 27's after dessert.

 

I'm going for maximum comfort-food satisfaction and not subtlety or palatal sophistication. I'm about to die, not see an opera.

1. 42 buffalo wings from Archie Moore's (I'm lookin' at you Frank and shenanigans)
2. Thanksgiving: Dressing, cranberry sauce, turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy on gravy, asparagus.
3. Entire apple crisp and gallon of vanilla ice cream.

To Drink: Red Wine. Good shit and lots of it. Plenty of water.

 

1. Two chicago-style hot dogs, with everything. Onion rings made with fresh onions, not frozen. Yellow Gatorade.

2. Lamb chops with sweet potatoes, couscous, and freshly baked bread. Water.

3. Apple turnover, vanilla ice cream. Water.

 

God, I love the last meal game. However, if I'm going out, I'm not limiting myself to 3 courses. No, multiple courses, and two versions.

Fancy Version
Before I eat, a jumbo-sized Ketel One Martini, dirty, straight up, with 6 bleu-cheese stuffed olives.

First Course: Beef sashimi with a very nice dipping sauce, followed by a spicy tuna roll or 3. Three Olives Rangtang and club soda.

Second Course: Either an excellent tomato bisque with cheese bread, or a good French Onion soup. A real Black&Tan to drink, or Xingu.

Intermezzo: A nice big hunk of Beef Wellington with tons of Foie Gras in it. A bottle of Moscato D'Asti.

Third Course: Sliced tomatoes (either a good heirloom tomato, or an excellent Ripley, TN tomato), fresh buffalo mozzarella, balsamic vinegar, olive oil, sea salt, and cracked black pepper. Served with a good Pouilly Fuisse or a New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc.

Fourth Course: A 32oz slab of prime rib, medium rare, 2 jumbo twice-baked potatoes stuffed with cheddar-jack cheese, butter, bacon, sour cream, and Hidden Valley ranch seasoning, and a pile of snap peas cooked al dente in butter, salt, pepper, and garlic. More garlic cheese bread. A good Oregon Pinot Noir from before 2005 or a good Zinfandel, with a big tumbler of Angel's Envy bourbon, neat. Lots of ice water.

Fifth Course: A dessert tray with the Kahlua Pie from Paulette's in Memphis, with an entire bottle of Kahlua; a good tiramisu; a creme brulee; and this rum-dulce de leche cheesecake they made at my work with creme fraiche made with FRESH mint, and not any fucking mint flavoring. A selection of good chocolates with multiple fillings, a nice port. An ice cold tumbler of skim milk, and more ice water.

Redneck Version
A Spicy Ketel One Bloody Mary with Pickles and blue-cheese stuffed olives.

First Course: 3 Eggs over easy with Country Fried Steak, cheese grits, biscuits and gravy, and sliced tomatoes with salt&pepper. Unsweet tea with lemon.

Second Course: Either a huge meatball and pepperoni submarine, or a cheesesteak sandwich with lots of Lenny's pepper relish, extra caramelized onions, no green peppers. Served with a deep-fried battered vidalia onion with dipping sauce and a gallon of CocaCola with crushed ice.

Intermezzo: A pile of chicken gizzards, fried not too hard, some hot wings, and tater babies. Served with Dr. Pepper.

Third Course: A Deep Dish pizza from Wise Guys in Southaven, MS, with pepperoni, italian sausage, banana peppers, and triple extra cheese, with garlic butter for the dipping sauce. More iced tea.

Fourth Course: A 20 oz burger, medium rare, with jalapenos, pickles, grilled onions, pepper jack cheese, and a fried egg, with grilled cheese sandwiches as the buns (like the Vortex in Atlanta), a tray of cheese fries with plenty of bacon, ranch, and ketchup, and a pile of my mom's fried chicken, legs and thighs only. A pitcher of Gold Nugget Ale from Huey's, and more iced tea.

Fifth Course: An Oreo pie, my great-grandma's caramel cake, a tub of strawberry-banana pudding from Uncle Lou's here in Memphis with extra whipped cream, and a pile of doughnuts, including red velvet cake donuts from Gibson's with extra cream-cheese frosting, and cream-filled (NOT Bavarian cream or custard, but like icing) longjohns with caramel, white, and chocolate icings. A pitcher of ice-cold skim milk, and more ice water.

The sad thing is, I can think of more stuff that I'd add to either menu, but my gluttony here is enough.

Either menu, when I die, they'll be cleaning shit for a while.